Part 2
I looked towards the door and noticed Susan had left. Then I turned my attention back to the lifeless body in the bed. My eyes got teared up as I drove myself into the thought that Abby was dead. Yes, it was hard to accept. The love of my life. My soulmate. She was gone and there was nothing I could do. I brought a chair closer to me and sat as I grabbed her cold and white hand. I felt a strange feeling running through all my body.
"I'm sorry, Abby. I'm so sorry. I was a completely jerk. You told me how you felt and yet I left. I felt I did the right thing by running away, but you have no idea how much I missed you. Everyday I thought if I was the right guy for you. Every night I thought about you, wishing that you were with me and never let me go. I'd surely never let you go if I knew what would happen next. I would just hold you in my arms and tell you everything would be okay. Then I'd tell you I never forgot about you, you were the one for me. Only you"
I couldn't control my tears so I let them fall. I don't care about anything anymore. I lost my love, my reason to live. I would give everything – everything really – to have a chance to at least talk to her. Even if it was for a second only. If only I could see her smile again...
I stood up from the chair and turned to leave. I bet my eyes were all read from crying. I walked out the trauma room and took a look on the body inside before walking away.
"John", Kerry said as she saw me in the admin, leaned against the counter, "I am sorry"
"Yeah"
"It must be a terrible pain"
"It is"
"We all loved Abby. She was an amazing nurse and a terrific doctor. She will be missed by everybody here"
I could tell that for one second she really missed her. But it was so not like Kerry that I dropped that thought.
"Take the time you need and don't even think about getting back to work unless you're ready to"
"Thank you"
I walked towards the lounge to pick some things before going home. I opened my locker and saw some pictures. The same pictures she put with my clothes two years ago.
"You better watch out, they're choosing the next mega-millionaire out there"
"I thought you already won the lottery"
"Oh I did, when I met you. Is this gonna be warm enough?"
"I don't know, who dances outside in November?"
"Eskimos"
"He doesn't even like to dance"
"Well love makes you do crazy things. What?"
"Nothing. I just wish I could go be someplace quiet with him"
"Well give her a chance, maybe she's mature beyond her years"
"I know. It's not her, really, it's him. He's been acting strange"
"Strange how?"
"You know, flighty, spontaneous"
"Happy?"
"Too happy"
"There's no such thing"
"In my family, yes, there is"
"He's what, 27?"
"Yeah, but he's smoking, and he's flying around in planes, and he has this milk-shake obsession…What?"
"Milk shake obsessions?"
"Well.."
"You don't think that your radar might be a little sensitive?"
"No.. I don't know, maybe"
"Hey. It's a double date. I think we can all afford to have some fun"
"Only if you don't make me dance"
"I can't promise anything"
"You have real commitment issues, you know that?"
I continued searching my locker and I saw a syringe with Vicodin. I took and injected it.