6:41 P.M.
I'm in a really, really, really bad mood. That's only because Stan is in a really, really, really bad mood as well. I'm almost positive that we share a brain. I have absolutely no idea why Stan is so pissed off, but I think it has something to do with Wendy. They've been going out forever, and today they just...ignored each other.
I was freaked out, I have to admit. I mean, I knew something was wrong when he "accidentally" pushed Bebe onto the bunson burner. I know Stan hates her guts, but seriously, he didn't have to be so outright about it! I just...I knew that something was off.
So I'm going to ask Wendy. I know what you're thinking; "Why doesn't he just ask Stan?" but because I want, for once, somebody else's opinion. It's always what Stan thinks, like I don't care about the rest of the world. So I'm going to call her up.
6:56 P.M.
Does that girl ever stop talking? Jesus, I thought my ears were going to cry! She was all about how "Stan never walks me home anymore" or how "Stan never puts his arm around me anymore" or "I don't think Stan is comfortable passing gas around me" or JESUS FUCKING CHRIST LADY, SHUT UP!
So to sum it up, Bebe told Stan that Wendy was pissed off at him, which evolved into this monstrosity we know today as "The Apocalypse." Nawh, just kidding. Well, it's pretty much the post-breakup of the century. This probably explains Stan's attitude towards Bebe...no wonder. Now I'm not exactly glad she's in the hospital with third degree burns, but I would probably had the urge to do that to somebody who A) has been pissing me off since third grade and B) is always the news carrier of gossip and breakups around the fucking school!
7:28 P.M.
Annie IMed Stan. Wendy breaks up.
Stan had an epiphany and is now in this everlasting depression. He won't come out of his room. And the worst part is that Wendy left him for somebody else. I know you think that guys don't have feelings and don't give a shit on a stick about breakups. Well, sometimes we don't. But when a girl leaves us for another guy, well...that changes everything.
I expect whoever the guy is to be dead tomorrow morning.
No joke.
7:29 P.M.
Stan won't eat. He won't drink, talk or even attempt at some range of normalcy. Well, he spoke once. It was only to say, "Whoever she likes is dead in the morning." See, I was right, wasn't I!
11:43 P.M.
I'm checking the obituaries tomorrow morning.
5:21 A.M.
Kenny's dead. Again. Who knew? Wendy asked him out and, Kenny, being the best friend ever, said yes. He doesn't give a shit if she just broke up with his good friend, he just went right along and tried to grope her ass. Well, cyber-grope her ass. Annie, who is now Stan's official enemy after delivering the terrible news to him, IMed him asking if he would go out with her. And apparently Kenny, with his unusual charm, persuaded Wendy into having cyber-sex with him.
That was the end of it. Stan wasn't even arrested, because the guy who came to check out the gruesome scene knew what it was like and let him off with a warning. Also, he knew about Kenny's little "death problem."
Now Stan and I can be bastards together. Woo hoo.