Title: Cat Shadows (5/?)
Author: Prospero Hibiki
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN, Fox and WB Network. In no way are these aforementioned characters being used for my own personal profit, and this is not meant as an infringement of the copyright owned by any of the above entitys.
Rating: R (for language and the ever present possibility of violence)
Timeline: Immediately following the Season 2 episode "Halloween"
Spoilers: So far anything through "Halloween" is fair game...maybe more later. Though it's starting to look like I'm going to completely change what happens from then on. If only to keep myself from totally screwing up my mental timeline while writing.
Classification: Alternate Universe, anything else will become obvious as time passes.
Summary: Xander's possession during his sophomore year of high school did more to screw up his life than even he had thought at the time. Could what he'd considered his greatest failing be turned into an ability he could use, or would it ruin his second chance at happiness?
Author's Comments: After kicking this story around in my head for several months I've decided that I'd like to post the prologue to see if anyone thinks it has promise. That's actually pretty much it. I'll probably continue to write it even if people hate it, but comments from people who don't are always appreciated. Besides I kind of feel like actually posting things for a while instead of purely lurking. Also my infrequency of the postings is more due to having to completely rewrite the story after screwing up some major plot points that affect what occurs in later chapters than in any real laziness on my part. Though laziness certainly does contribute at some point.
xXx
Chapter 04: Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me
Everyone thought it'd take some fast talking by a whole lot of people in order to get me back into school without being expelled or even suspended for missing almost a full week of school. Surprisingly, or perhaps not, Mrs. Summers was the person who led the charge against the school administration. Personally I think she was still pissed off about the way that Snyder treated Buffy in the wake of parent teacher night. Apparently she can hold a grudge like it's nobody's business. Which is cool. I mean, she's cool. She let me stay overnight on the couch so we could plan on how to get me back into school. Again I think she managed to sense my reluctance to go to my parents' house. It's like I said; Joyce is cool. She did, however, raise an eyebrow when Buffy called Giles and Ms. Calendar over to help in our strategic planning.
I actually sat out most of the planning as I was forced by all of the adults present and Willow to review all of the notes she'd taken during my absence. Which of course prompted "awwww's" from the ladies about how adorable I looked with my glasses perched on my nose. I studiously ignored them all. Okay, I ignored them since I doubt anyone would believe I did it studiously.
All of the planning ended up being unnecessary for the most part though. All we really had to do was drop rumors that I'd gotten into a fight with some "gang members on PCP" and whole avenues of leniency opened up for me. Screw avenues. They were whole interstates. Snyder couldn't seem to backpedal fast enough, something that trickled down to the other teachers. Leaving me enrolled but still needing to make up the missed work. Again surprisingly I was doing it. Sure, I'm not the brightest bulb on the tree, but with enough hard work I usually muddled through.
Everyone also teased me about my tattoo, thinking that there were some parts of my story that I was too embarrassed to tell them. I got my first good look at it when Joyce took a Polaroid of it and showed me. I must admit though that it looks pretty cool. At first glance it seems like a solid gray shape of some sort. There was a point on the lower part and from there it angled up in a triangle before the edges went parallel. Then they closed together again but with a much more rounded connection. I must have stared at it for ten minutes before I figured out what it was. It was the tooth from the panther that I'd used in the ritual. Well the black leopard tooth since there aren't really such things as black panthers they're just called that. Oh God I'm starting to sound like Giles. The second thing I noticed was what Buffy had seen almost immediately. The tattoo wasn't solid gray at all. It wasn't even distinctly edged. Instead all of the tattoo was colored by extremely fine lines closely laid next to each other. Each like traveled down from the top but curled this way and that so that they almost formed characters in some ancient alphabet. It looked really freaky. And cool. Freaky and cool. Giles promised to look up the designs to see if they meant anything when he got the chance to, but my sudden sabbatical from the library kind of cut into the time he had available
All the others took my lack of participation in the after school activities as a sacrifice I needed to make to get the work done. And to some extent it was. But starting on Wednesday night I again started to sneak out of my parents' house to patrol with Buffy as my cat-self. I love doing it because I get to frolic and scamper and play and...anyway I like it. Okay, so I kill vampires too, but that's just part of the experience. The main thing is that I get to be with Buffy and for Buffy. She trusts me to be there when I am there. It's kind of heady. I've even gotten a name! Sphinx. Though where Buffy came up with that one, I have no idea. Still, I answer to it when she wants to get my attention.
Life is of the good. I'm still in school, can turn into a cat, get to kiss Buffy everyday even if she doesn't know, and manage to antagonize Angel. Yeah life is good.
Speaking of the square-jawed vampire with a soul, he's starting to freak me out a little. He and Buffy are getting a little too chummy for my tastes. And that's not jealousy talking. Well, not just jealousy. No there's something else about Angel that just raises my hackles. Literally. I mean even in human form I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing up when is within ten feet of my location. Because of it I've tried to keep my distance from him when we've been in the same room. As a cat though things are an entirely different kettle of fish. For one thing I've done everything physically possible to keep Buffy and Angel apart while they're patrolling around town. Go me. Maybe if I try hard enough I'll change Buffy's opinion about dating the undead. I mean, she's a vampire slayer and he's a vampire. Not exactly a good foundation for a long term relationship. So far though it isn't working.
I must admit it was pretty cool when Buffy took me to the library for the first time. "He just followed me home, Giles. Can we keep him. Pleeeease!" I of course did my part by sitting on my haunches and leaning against her legs. It was the puppy dog look that got him though. Since then I've pretty much followed Buffy around like I was her shadow. She goes home, does her homework, eats dinner, sneaks out of the house, patrols, and winds up at the library to report. I do the same thing and even follow her home to hang with her until she falls asleep. It's a routine, but one I like.
Buffy's just so beautiful. It's torture to be around her sometimes. I know she doesn't feel the same way about me that I feel about her, but I have to be there anyway. It's an addiction. A Buffy junkie, that's me.
xXx
I'm sitting on my usual rock behind Buffy's house when she comes out to greet me. We've been patrolling like this for three weeks now so we've established a pattern. I sneak out of my parents' house slightly before sunset, and wait for Buffy to sneak out of hers. From then on I just follow her and try to get her to have fun. It's pretty easy. Buffy is a cat person, so it's easy to suck her into the happy side of things. She smiles more now. That alone is worth any difficulty I've had to go through.
"Hi Sphinx." I lean into her caress of my head and neck. As per usual I follow it up with a pounce and lick. Ha! I kissed Buffy! "Okay, get off!" Buffy's voice can barely be understood through her laughing. "We've got a busy night ahead of us. Supposedly there is a demon of some sort hanging around one of the graveyards. So we're going to go kill it!" Okay, so I've fallen in love with someone who has sociopathic tendencies. I blame society!
The trip to the night's first graveyard is passes with Buffy cheerfully describing the details of the demon we might face in addition to the evils of a Thursday at Sunnydale High. I listen attentively as always; personally I think that I'd listen to her recite the phonebook if she offered to read it to me.
A short interruption to kill three vampires later and we're sitting around a grave that was only recently filled in. The first time we did this I made the mistake of setting my head in Buffy's lap which resulted in us being slow to react when the vampire broke out of its grave. Now I just relax next to her with the side of my head on her knee. It's nice. Especially since she's rubbing little circles on my shoulder. Oh yeah, very nice. I could sit here all night if she kept doing that. An hour later we're still sitting there. Seems our corpse might not be getting up after all. Strange. Someone might have actually died of natural causes in Sunnydale. "Spooky." My head whips around at Buffy's whisper. I can't help it and start to chuff my breath, something that Buffy has figured out means I'm laughing. Great minds.
Something seems wrong and I rise to my feet. I can't see anything out of the ordinary, but still this feeling isn't going away. There's a crackle of a breaking twig and I fall into a pre-pounce pose facing any possible danger. Mentally I swear when the shadows fall away and reveal just who has interrupted us.
"Angel." Buffy's throaty whisper sends a shaft of ice straight into my heart just like it always does. Again I'd let myself slip into the illusion that I was the one that she cared about something that has become ever more frequent of late.
"Buffy." I roll my eyes as the two approach each other but do nothing to keep them apart. Still as they get within six feet a low growl escapes my control. I pointedly turn my back when they look at me and look around the graveyard for any possible threat. I might not like Buffy's attraction to the ensouled vampire, but after three weeks I'm just tired of forcibly getting between them. It's her choice to make even if I think she is making the wrong one. My watching it happen is just a way for me to torture myself needlessly.
"So, what's up with you?" Right now I wish I could mute my ears so I wouldn't have to listen to this. "We've had a pretty slow night. Only three blood suckers and our stakeout was a no show." It's nice to hear her say 'we' in the context of the two of us even if it's only in terms of a patrol partner.
"Buffy, I've been wondering if you would like to give that date thing another try? Maybe go for coffee sometime?" Shit! That was one of the few things I was hoping for. That Angel would never grow the balls to actually ask Buffy out. Her quick intake of breath indicates that she wasn't expecting this either. I turn my head to look at them and breathe a sigh of relief when I see that they aren't much closer together than they were when I growled. Angel catches me looking and I can't prevent my lip curling in a snarl.
"Now?"
Angel shakes his head. "No, I was thinking maybe Sunday night. We could meet at the Bronze?"
"Yeah, Sunday is good. Maybe we could..." My mind cuts off the rest of what she's saying. Turning fully around once more I slowly pad away into the night; I don't even look back when Buffy's questioning call rings out. "Sphinx? Where did you go?"
I never realized that cats could cry.
xXx
Friday morning comes around way too soon for my tastes. I'm in my usual spot in the library's overstuffed chair when Buffy comes in. This time I don't bother looking up even if I know almost to the inch where she is at all times. I don't want to see her happy about her upcoming date with Angel. I don't want to see her smile about the rightness of the world. I don't want to see the conversation she'll have with Willow about what happened. All told, I just don't want to see her. It's a lie of course. My body aches to see her, but I resist the impulse. Instead my math book gets extra special attention this fine morning. Several minutes pass before I realize that I can't make out the words on the page. I'm not wearing my glasses. I haven't even touched them this morning and I've been staring at this book for almost half an hour.
Finally, when I'm tired of pretending to look at my math book, I risk a glance up at where Buffy and Willow are huddled together as think as thieves. Giles takes that moment to bustle in through the main doors. "Oh. Good morning Buffy. I trust all went well on your patrol last night." My snort of disgust attracts everyone's attention for a moment.
"Yep. I came, I saw, I staked. No demon though, and the graveyard was a bust. Angel and I bagged three, which added to the three I got before I ran into him makes six little piles of dust."
"So nothing out of the ordinary?" Giles doesn't really seem to be paying attention, instead focusing his concentration on sorting through some books that are on his counter.
Buffy frowns. "Actually, yes. Sphinx just up and left while I was talking to Angel." Bet your sweet ass I did! No way in hell was I going to watch you moon over him all night.
"I doubt that it means anything Buffy." Giles pauses in what he's doing for a moment. "He is after all a cat, and even most house cats are rather independently minded. As a wild cat he is probably even more so. I would not worry too much if I were you."
"That's just it Giles. He's practically been my shadow ever since we met. That he left at all let alone without even letting me know is really unusual."
Willow pipes in, "Maybe he was just jealous of Angel. Cats can be very possessive of their people." It's a comment that cuts entirely too close to the truth of the matter for my taste.
"It's not like you ever ignore anyone when Angel steps into a room either." The comment pops out of my mouth before I can censor it. Disgusted at myself I angrily throw stuff into my backpack.
"Xander! That is so unfair." Buffy's voice sounds hurt at my accusation.
A little part of me is even glad, but the majority is raging that I lashed out in such a way. I guess that little part of me is stronger than I thought because as I leave through the doors I can't help tossing out a last retort. "Doesn't make it any less true."
xXx
I avoid everyone for the rest of the day. Difficult since most of my classes are with both Buffy and Willow. Difficult but not impossible. Most of my distance was maintained by never looking in their directions. Not that I blamed them for anything, rather I blamed myself for reacting like I did. Sure, I was hurt, but that gave me know right to hurt Buffy. Especially when she didn't understand why.
All in all the day was pretty hellish for me. I'd thought before that I was addicted to the blonde Slayer, but I guess like all addicts I thought I could quit at any time. It's not that easy. By the time sunset came around I needed to see her again so badly that I was practically shaking. Buffy withdrawal. I'd laugh if it weren't so pathetic.
So here I am waiting for the one girl I so wish I could hate. And can't help but love.