Chapter 4

Airplanes, Arrivals and More Explanations

Buffy and Giles stood in the terminal line, waiting for the woman to check their tickets. Buffy had already spotted a few demons, but they'd seen who she was and quickly fled. She shifted her bag and took a step forward. Everything had been handed over for luggage shipment except tier carry-ons. Buffy had her overnight bag that had a journal, pens, a sweater and, of course, the weapons. Giles had his own overnight bag. They passed the woman and made their way to the plane, Buffy's hand clenched in his. They kept their bags near their feet and Giles took the window seat, for obvious reasons.

They were on the plane for about six hours. An old woman across the aisle attempted to talk to Buffy until she feigned sleep. Giles had told took look out the window once they were over the ocean, and it was the only time she did. After an hour, she gave in a slept, letting her internal clock dictate things. Giles watched her and read; no surprise there.

They arrived in London and stretched before leaving the airport with their luggage.

"Welcome to London, England, Buffy." Giles said, looking around. They agreed to rent a car and drive the rest of the way. Buffy tilted her head.

"You're never allowed to complain about American cities being nosy and polluted." she said cheekily. He mock glared and they grabbed a cab to the car dealers. Giles rented a car and they drove off the lot, into traffic and to a local diner for some real food.

"Would you like to look around or start towards Bath?" he asked, feeling the jet lag catching up. The Slayer seemed fine, not that he expected anything else. Their bags were in the car, but as usual, Buffy had weapons hidden. She surveyed the customers as she thought about the question. She suddenly smiled impishly.

"Can we go bug Travers?"

"Buffy..." he sighed. "I would really appreciate knowing why this was so important you." Her smile fell.

"Despite the fact I can't stand them all, I've always wanted to know what it looks like. The Council I mean. Plus, bugging Travers is something I really want to do right now. Consider it educational and part of the vacation. I'll even try to listen to you when you tell me about everything there." she added. He smiled and took a sip of tea. "Pleassssse?" she begged, pouting.

"Very well." he said.

"Yeah me!" she said, digging into her food. He shook his head. He knew she knew he would give in if she pouted. He hated and loved that pout. He'd never been able to resist it. They finished the meal and Giles pulled out the pounds he'd converted at the airport ATM. Giles began explaining things as he took a sadly familiar route to the Council's headquarters, and Buffy actually listened.

"Here we are." he said pulling up to the main entrance.

"Who are you?" a guy in tweed asked. Buffy snorted.

"Rupert Giles and a visitor." Giles said, showing passports and covering Buffy's name.

"Mr Giles, I thought you were stationed in America!" the guy said.

"I'm returning for a indefinite amount of time William. If you would be so kind as to open the gates..." he trailed off, pointedly looking at the gates. The man scrambled and opened the gates. Buffy rolled his eyes and Giles rolled up the window. He muttered something and drove into the parking garage, parked, and went around to help her out.

"All these cars belong to Watchers?" Buffy asked, looking at the large amount of vehicles. "Why does that somehow not surprise me?" Giles didn't comment, but she could see he was amused. The walked to the door, chatting. Giles punched in a code and the door clicked. He held it open and followed her in. They walked through the empty hall until they came to a reception-like area. "Huh, no tweed on the furniture. That's a shock." she said. Giles shook his head and lead her to the front desk.

"Rupert Giles and a visitor." he told the receptionist. He narrowed his eyes and she nodded, handing over a clearance card. He placed a hand under her elbow and they walked. Buffy asked questions and he answered them.

"That's the r library isn't it?" she asked as they passed a cracked door.

"Yes, actually, it is." he said, slightly chocked. There were no signs to indicate what rooms were which.

"I can smell all the old book and hear the pages. Plus, there's someone reading right inside the door, and they're shadow was in the hall." He chuckled.

"That's a different way to use your abilities." They turned down a corner and he suddenly pushed them behind a tapestry.

"Giles, wha-"

"Sh!" he commanded, watching. The person went pass and he moved back into the hall. "I apologize. That was one of the older Watchers. He knows what you look like and is a good friend of Travers. He's also a bit of a gossip." Buffy nodded in understanding. It wouldn't be any fun if Travers knew they were there. Well, if he knew she was there.

"So where exactly are we going?" she asked, looking out the windows.

"To the meeting room. It was noon when we left, and is almost seven-thirty now. Travers will be here until a quarter till nine. Everyone else will stay until after nine, something ten."

"Wow. All they do is research and brood about me. Why stay so late?"

"I have yet to figure that out." he said, causing her to laugh. They arrived at the meeting room and Giles knocked, three times in quick precession.

"Who is there? State your name." a man said from the other side of the door.

"A friend of Mr Travers. It's rather urgent I speak with him." Giles said, using his Watcher's training to keep his expression blank and voice void of emotions. Buffy was listening and acting like she was on patrol. It was only way she could do the same as Giles. Otherwise, she'd bust out laughing. There was whispering until the door was opened. Giles entered and Buffy slipped in unnoticed, hiding in the shadows.

"Ah, Mr Giles. I wondered is I was going to hear from you anytime soon. How is everything going in Sunnydale and with Miss Summers? I expected another journal, but there hasn't been one since Glory appeared." Travers said.

"Travers. I'm not here for myself actually. Everything seems fine in Sunnydale now, how kind of you to ask." he added sarcastically. Travers raised an eyebrow. There were twenty other watchers in the room. "And as for the journal, it didn't seem...relevant." he said, memories surfacing as to why he hadn't sent one. He also hadn't told them Buffy had died.

"Them whom and/or what are you here for?" Travers questioned, rising from his seat.

"Of, you don't have to rise for me, really. But if you want to, go ahead." Buffy added as the others rose. Quentin Travers sputtered.

"What are you doing here?! You're calling is in America!" Buffy smiled wickedly. For a moment, her aura synced with Giles' before it was hidden once more. They both had felt it though.

"Oh you do care!" she exclaimed with false happiness. "It's so nice of you to worry." Her gleeful expression instantly turned cold, her Slayer side taking control. (More on that later) "But I suppose you don't. It's good you didn't check on Rupert of any of us this summer." She walked around the table towards the leader of the Council. Her eyes were as hard as daimons.

"Miss Summers, I demand you get away-" the guard's words were cut off as Buffy had lighting fast hand around his throat. She narrowed her eyes and tightened her grip just enough so he felt some pressure, but wasn't in any danger except from fear.

"Do NOT make demands of me." she hissed by throwing him in a chair. The man fainted. The others had realized it was the Slayer they were seeing near their boss, quickly swallowed their comments and sunk into their seats. "Now Quentin, I think it's a shame we didn't talk after Glory was defeated. Mabey we should talk now." Her eyes narrowed once more. "Oh, that's right. You don't like to talk. You like to put me through tests. That test on my birthday almost got me and my mom killed. Your test when you came to tell us about Glory was shit too."

"Miss Summers-"

"Shut up, I'm talking. Mabey we should have another test. One of MY making. You see, I died again. I'm not over it, but I'm stronger for it. Stronger then I was before. I think it should be me verses you. Because, I distinctly remember telling you last time we met that I clarified something for you: you all-" gestures to the room. "-are nothing without me. I'm nothing without Giles. You don't get to treat him like shit." She looks around the room at the nervous watchers.

"Miss-"

"Didn't I just tell you to shut UP?" she demanded. Her gaze landed on one Watcher. "Nigel, how good to see you again. How's the nose?" The man gulped and covered his nose, remembering the sword that had missed it by a hair. "Good to know." She tuned back to Travers. "So what do you say, wanna have another test to see who's boss? 'Cause I can win, hands down. I'm not asking for your help, but I'm sure as hell going to tell you this: next time I have to face an apocalypse, I'd better get more info the I had. I know you have it. And, if I die-" Giles winced, not wanting to imagine it. "-you'd better pray that I don't get resurrected again, because I'll come here to get revenge. Understand?" she asked. Travers nodded. "Any questions? No? Good." She brightened, making them all relax a little. "Now, who wants to show the Slayer where there training room is? Or do you guy call t a workout room?"

"It's called a training room." Giles said, unable to stop the amusument from flooding his voice. Even Ripper was having a laugh. But then again, Ripper REALLY didn't like Watchers. His gaze changed slightly then returned to normal.

"So, who wants to show me? No one? Rupert, all the stuffy and tweeded Watchers are no fun." she pouted, waling towards him. He smiled and laughed slightly, looking at the scared men and women.

"Very well. I believe some sparring would be useful after the flight."

"Now see here-" the women who protested stood next to the window. Buffy spun and threw the pocket knife, lodging it in the wooden window from, just centimeters form her throat.

"Remember what I said when you told me about Glory, Travers? Why don't you tell them exactly what I said about Masterpiece Theater." she said after retrieving her knife and going back to Giles. The second the latch caught, they gave in and busted out laughing. They snickered all the way to the stairs and down part of them before subsiding. While chatting, Giles led her to training room. She looked away form him and looked at the room. The hand on the handle of the door fell.

The room was as big as a recreational center's main gym, with mirrors along one wall. There was all sorts of equipment, most of it fencing, dummies, and targets. There were weights and other real training equipment at the far end, probably for the guards.

"Wow."

"They do keep some things updated." he said amused at her reactions. He went over to the fencing items and pulled the "swords" they'd need. He tested them before tossing one to Buffy. She threw her jacket next to his and did a few quick stretches before getting in position. "On guard." he said. And they fenced. Word had spread fast, and Watchers were flocking to the training room.

"We have a audience." Buffy said, blocking Giles' thrust before spinning to one side and slashing down. He dodged and quickly retaliated.

"I noticed." he said dryly.

"Real swords?" she asked, perking up. He sighed.

"You're determined to kill me aren't you?" he asked. They were talking to low for the others to hear.

"No, I just want to see the Watcher's squirm." she replied, going over to the swords and sighing in longing as she lifted on. Stainless and tool steel, average weight, and 26 inches long. Giles tested a few swords before selecting one. "No padding?" she asked. He grinned, pure Ripper. She smiled, eyes on fire. This was going to be fun.

"No need."

The Watchers held their breath as they watched the couple fight. Despite the intense actions, it was elegant the way they moved. Buffy was holding back on Giles, but soon discovered it wasn't worth it when he nicked her. They seemed to dance around the mats, becoming oblivious to everyone and thing. They weren't synched through their aura, as was the Watcher-Slayer bond, but through their minds. They kept constant eye contact. Ripper was working his own brand of magic as he panted and lunged. Buffy felt alive again.

After half an hour, they stopped, both panting heavily and sporting more than a few scratches. One of the beginning Watchers gave them towels and cold water bottles. Buffy put away the weapons and took a sip of water before looking at the group, eyes narrowed. He'd started analyzing the magic cloaking her, and hadn't done anything to it. Ripper looked at all the staring males and gave a low growl. Only Buffy heard. He did a small healing spell for his muscles and stood.

"You're Buffy Summers, the Slayer."

"Get the girl a medal." Buffy said, still surveying the group. Her Slayer senses were on high. There was to many potential human threats. But there were a few Wiccans that worked for the Council. They were in the group. Her head spun as she tried locating them. A hand on her shoulder brought her out of the trance like state.

"Don't worry about them Buffy. We should be going anyway." She nodded and finished her water. They collected their things and made their way out of the training room. Buffy smiled and politely refused to answer questions. Ripper kept a possessive hand on her shoulder as she steered her through the Council. It took a while, but they finally made it back to the car.

"Thanks Giles."

"You're welcome." he said with a smile. "I admit, that was more fun then I expected."

"Travers and Nigel squirmed." she said, giggling. He chuckled and began the drive. It was almost ten-thirty. She yawned and blinked.

"Sleep Buffy." Nodding, she complied. Giles sighed. He'd hoped working with the cloaking magic wouldn't harm her, and it didn't appear to.

Buffy was hovering between sleep and wakefulness. She mentally sighed and burrowed into the darkness. Ever since she'd been back, she'd been split. Buffy and the Slayer were still one person, but there was a difference. The Slayer had a voice and was aware, just not always in control. Buffy almost always had control, but sometimes gave it over to the Slayer. It was like two personalities, only not to that extreme. The trauma had made her mind separate into two parts to deal with it. She was safe. They would go back to being once "person" once she was healed.

Giles watched and drove. He stopped once for a bathroom break and didn't have the heart to wake Buffy. He'd had to calm her more then once from nightmares. From her muttering, he could tell they were different, but still just as bad at the others. They arrived in Bath near midnight. He awoke her as the car was going up the drive.

"What?" she mumbled, blinking.

"We're here." She nodded and yawned. He pulled up to the front of house. It was dark and Buffy was tired, so she didn't bother to look around. They collected their bags and went inside. Giles showed Buffy to the guest room. After being sure she was settled, Giles went to his own room, put his bags down and went to bed.

But he had a guest after a few hours. She hadn't screamed, just awoke from the nightmare and instantly went where she knew it was safe. He wrapped his arms around her and sighed. She didn't know he'd awoken when the bedroom door had opened, and it was going to stay that way.

The next morning, Buffy awoke first and looked around. She shifted and was rewarded by a tightening grip. She smiled slightly when she recalled they were eight hours away from Sunnydale and she was in Giles' arms again. She looked at the clock and saw it was only six, just after dawn. With a yawn, she fell back asleep.

Hours later, Giles was brushing something from under his nose. He looked down and saw it was a lock of blond hair. He smiled and gently extracted himself form her hold. She frowned and curled up. He stood and pulled the blanket over her before quietly getting some clothing out of the dresser and going into the bathroom. After changing, he went into the kitchen to start breakfast.

Buffy awoke again, looked around, and stretched. She quietly went back to her room, changed and went into the kitchen after using the bathroom and combing her hair.

"Morning." she said with a yawn. He chuckled slightly.

"Good morning." She sat at the table.

"I hate jet lag."

"Hmm." Giles handed her a cup of tea and she absently drank it, eyes unfocused as she thought. There wasn't much food in the house. There was someone who came to keep the place once a month (he'd arranged that when he'd returned to England, having planned on coming) but they didn't stock the pantry. Waiting patiently, he watched her. Even in the fortnight of being alive, she was too thin for his liking, and didn't have the natural "Buffy" glow that she usually possessed.

"Rupert?" she asked softly. He jumped slightly, having been deep in thought. He smiled at her and she looked at the teacup. "What are we doing today?" she asked in the same soft tone. He realized her tone wasn't just soft, it was timid and scared.

"I-I was hoping to get some food for the pantry so we don't starve-" She smiled slightly. "-then mabey go for a walk." he said with minimal sputtering. He was confused. This was a different woman who threatened Travers and a few other Watchers the night before. "It there anything s-specific you would like to do?" he asked, gently running a finger over the back of her hand.

"No, that sounds fine." she said, still not looking at him. He gently tilted her head up so her face was level with his. The Watcher realized she'd stewed in her memories and hit a sore spot. But also something more. Something at the core of her problems.

"Oh my darling." he whispered. She sniffed and looked at her tea once more, shoving everything away and once again pulling out the mask. He interlaced tier fingers and squeezed, causing her to look at him. "You don't have to hide from me Buffy." he said. She nodded and offered a smile. He returned it, squeezed her hand once more, and stood. They collected their coats and went out to the car. Buffy looked around, seeing the beauty of the land for the first time. She starred out the window all the way into town.

Sunnydale

"Can we call?" Dawn asked. It was around five. "It's like nine in the morning there!"

"And it's one in the morning here Dawnie." Willow groaned, rolling over in the bed. "Besides, you promised to wait till they call first." Dawn pouted. "Go back to bed." The teen did as she was told grumbling. Willow rolled over and faced a smiling Tara.

"You want to call her, don't you?" Tara asked, stroking Willow's hair. The redhead smiled slightly before frowning.

"It's all my fault." Now, Tara had a very high patience, but her lover was starting to reach the limit. The blond placed a chaste kiss on her lips and laid down after turning out the light. They curled together.

Bath

After getting the food, which was taken back to the house, and put away, they returned to town. Giles showed Buffy the town and the local springs.

"Healing powers?" she asked with a skeptical eyebrow raised.

"It's rumored." he answered. "Although, with everything we've seen through the years, it's entirely possible that the springs can't or can heal." Buffy snorted.

"I think it's just something to attract tourist." That made Giles launch into a historical lesson that she tried to pay some smidgen of attention to, but failed miserably.

"Buffy." he said twenty minutes later. Failing to gain her attention, he gently shook her shoulder. She jumped and looked around before offering a smile.

"Sorry."

"No harm done. I dare say you'd like to do something else?" he asked, turning down a dirt road.

"Um..." She blushed slightly. She felt weird, no picking up any supernatural vibes once so ever. Well, besides the vibes from Giles, but she was used to those. It had been a while since she'd actually noticed them. Usually she only noticed them when he was REALLY angry or they'd been separated for a period of time; longer then a few days that is.

"Are you alright?" he question worriedly. She waved a hand absently.

"Fine. Getting used to the un- tingling of the Slayer senses." she added as his unbelieving expression. He smiled.

"I'm sure it is a strange feeling." She frowned.

"I don't like it. The emptiness is creepy." She looked at him as he pulled under some trees and shut off the car. "G-Rupert, why does it feel empty?" He unbuckled her seatbelt and she followed suit, exiting the car seconds later. "Well?"

"I'm thinking about how to say this." he admitted, locking the car and pocketing the keys. With a sigh, he realized he'd need to start at the very beginning. They started walking. "You know the First Slayer was filled with the darkest of magic when she was created, correct?" She nodded. "It seems that she wasn't created with dark magic on it's own, but more of a combination on dark magic, and the heart and the soul of a demon." The light filtered through the trees as they walked down a worn path.

"There were three men. They...they chained her to a rock while summoning the magic while opening the box containing the demon. The girl was invaded by the heart and soul. She couldn't fight and eventually succumbed to the fate. The demon heart made her body stronger faster and have amazing healing abilities, while the soul enhanced her natural and supernatural senses. She could sense demons everywhere and wild the magic the shaman had placed in her."

"After many years, the girl grew older, and stronger. Her soul eventually died, having suffered through the countless killings and the demon inside of her. She didn't know how to cope without a human soul, and once again ended up surrendering to the demon."

"Years after that, she was fighting a great battle. The Hellmouth was fiercer, larger, and deadlier then. There were very few hybrids. Right before the girl died, the demon left the girl in search of another." He paused in his story, waiting. Buffy showed no sighs of reaction to what he was saying.

"After many girls, the demon was weak. Not weak enough so that the power of the girls diminished, but he wasn't able to escape. When the Slayer he had been using in the weak state died, the demon's soul and heart also died."

"Through the Slayers, the demon's abilities somehow attached to the magic of the Slayer line, resulting in the Slayers continuing. There have been...refreshers in the magical properties. Death and return, a demonic possession, magical enhancement, etc."

"As you told Travers, you are stronger after your...return. You became stronger after the Master was defeated, and you shall continue to strengthen. Your senses are stronger and will became as strong as they possible can in the next few months." He finished the story and they walked. The leaves fell from the trees as the beginning of fall wind blew around the couple. They'd been walking for nearly ten minutes before Buffy said a word.

"That still doesn't explain why I feel empty." she said, causing him to mentally curse. She was getting to observant to his words.

"In all terms, you are empty." She looked at him, blinking in shock. He gestured for her to sit at the base of a large oak. "Because of the trauma suffered from the resurrection, your mind is trying to repair itself, which it would normally do. But since you are the Slayer, the magical aura surrounding you is disturbed and out of place, making your entire person, mind, body, and soul, out of place."

"If you were a civilian, you would more or likely develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, depression or some other anxiety disorder." He frowned, recalling the times when she was shaking, sweating and had a rapid heart beat. There were a few other symptoms that fit the bill of PTSD and panic attacks.

"But?" she prompted.

"Oh, yes, sorry. As I was saying, you are not a civilian, and therefore you do not possess the mental or spiritual structure of one. Despite you Slayer abilities being enhanced, they are off balanced like the rest of you. Your soul is...confused. I firmly believe your Akasha record was designed so that your time was at the tower. But since you were brought back, the universe is out of order, especially our universe."

"There already two Slayers. That was a mishap, a fluke if you will. There is no reason that you know of to be back on this plane; yet you are. Mentally, I believe you are hovering between worlds, which means you would feel empty in a sense. Your emotions are sharper because of the hovering. Physically, you're alive. Spiritually, you may still be...not here." Giles didn't want to say dead. The word brought on an unmeasurable amount of grief.

"So, I'm empty?" Buffy was now confused. He frowned then chuckled slightly, dispelling his thoughts.

"Not exactly. In a way, I suppose you are empty. No one could come back from something like that and be whole. Eventually, the person will be, but not at first." She nodded in acceptance and leaned into him, resting her head on his chest. He stroked her hair, his thoughts returning to their earlier topics.

"Stop it." she said in a low voice.

"Stop what?"

"You're thinking about something bad." she whispered, tracing a line between his brows. "You're all tense and brainy. No thinking about whatever you're thinking about." she commanded. He laughed.

"You've once again throughly assaulted the English language." She nodded, closed her eyes and rested, relaxing as her body shifted to mold to his. Giles placed an arm around her shoulder and let her doze, not heeding her commands. The more he though, the more he was sure it was true.

AN: OK, thoughts? PTSD and Panic Attacks are real (As are the Akasha records, but I'm NOT getting into desriptions on those. It'll take WAY to long.) and should not be taken lightly. I suffer from both, but my Panic Attacks haven't happened for months except for a few symptoms. I'm not looking for sympathy, so please don't offer any. I want everyone to know that PTSD, depression and anxiety disorders should NOT be taken lightly. I diagnosed myself, and seeked help. But for me, the "help" only made it worse. THIS IS NOT THE CASE FOR EVERYONE!! If you think you, or someone you know, suffers form an anxiety disorder or depression, do yourself/them a favor and tell someone! Do not try to take care of it yourself. Your pride is not worth your health. Just know that you, or your friend, are not alone. The disorders are treatable and beatable!! Don't five up hope, ever.

Sincerely,

HermioneSparta