Title: Cat Shadows (9/?)
Author: Prospero Hibiki
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN, Fox and WB Network. In no way are these aforementioned characters being used for my own personal profit, and this is not meant as an infringement of the copyright owned by any of the above entitys.
Rating: R (for language and the ever present possibility of violence)
Timeline: Immediately following the Season 2 episode "Halloween"
Spoilers: So far anything through "Halloween" is fair game...maybe more later. Though it's starting to look like I'm going to completely change what happens from then on. If only to keep myself from totally screwing up my mental timeline while writing.
Classification: Alternate Universe, anything else will become obvious as time passes. (Technically in fanfic speak this does qualify as an altiverse and not a divergence simply because of the way some things are managed magically.)
Summary: Xander's possession during his sophomore year of high school did more to screw up his life than even he had thought at the time. Could what he'd considered his greatest failing be turned into an ability he could use, or would it ruin his second chance at happiness?
Author's Comments: My infrequency of the postings is more due to having to completely rewrite the story after screwing up some major plot points that affect what occurs in later chapters than in any real laziness on my part. Though laziness certainly does contribute at some point.
Addendum: Well the story's back after a long hiatus. The reason for that...real laziness on my part, failing out of school, working a job that had me working nights (the time I've traditionally done my best writing), and, oh yeah, JOINING THE NAVY. Needless to say the "Needs of the Navy" are having a fairly large impact on my writing schedule (especially the program I signed up for and was accepted into. No not the SEALS but rather the program that's generally acknowledged to be the toughest academic program in the Navy and one of the toughest in the country.)
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Chapter 08: Boulevard of Broken Dreams
I have entirely too much will power at times. Never something that I ever thought I'd say but it seems true enough despite that. How did I come to this conclusion? My girlfriend is currently attempting to distract me away from studying my history book. How is she attempting to do this? By slowly and sensually moving into different positions that show her body off in incredibly attractive ways. She is attempting to distract me...and failing.
"I'm so bored out here. If only I could think of a way to pass the time." Yes, a pouting slayer is an incredibly sexy slayer, but I really need to study this book for the test on Friday. "I'm feeling so hot out here. My shirt's just sticking to me all over because I'm so sweaty." I continue to ignore her. How? Joyce is really scary. Really, really scary. Angry Joyce versus angry Buffy? I'll take the angry Buffy every time. First, the angry Buffy can only kill me. Second, the angry Buffy is also an incredibly sexy Buffy. Third, the angry Buffy can be easily distracted by kissing her. Lastly, but most importantly, the angry Joyce can ground her daughter turning the happy Buffy into the very angry Buffy. So if I want to continue to going out with Buffy I have to continue to do well in school. Or start to. Because I've never really done well in school to begin with.
"You're not even listening to me are you?" I shake my head and can almost hear her pouting. She flops down next to me and goes back to observing the greenhouses that Giles told her to watch over tonight. I chuckle a little when I remember him removing his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose when I asked if he was sending Buffy on a "Stake Out." Eventually Giles had managed to convey that there had been some strange claw marks in the ground around the nursery that he found suspicious.
"You have no idea how completely frustrating it is that I'm the only one participating in this conversation. And you're busy reading!" Yep. That's me the horrible boyfriend. I deserve to be slain. I chuff slightly in agreement. "And stop patronizing me!" I roll my eyes not even looking up from the book. "I saw that!"
This time I do look up at her and arch an eyebrow. "Awwwwww. That looks so cute! Especially the way your glasses are perched on the end of your nose. How do you get them to do that as a cat anyway?"
I close my eyes and sigh. It's obvious that I'm not going to get anymore studying done tonight. Even keeping myself in cat form hasn't protected me from the distraction that is my girlfriend. Rising from my prone position I stalk over to the place where she dropped the small day pack she's taken to carrying around with her when we patrol. With a small flick of my muzzle I dislodge my glasses and they fall onto the pack. Buffy gets the hint and packs up the glasses and my text book and settles down against a nearby tree. I in turn lean against her so that she can repay my kindness with some light petting. And that sounded a lot cleaner in my head now that I think about it. Not for the first time do think that it's a very good thing that I can't actually speak while in this form.
We sit like that for a while before we notice some moving shadows just beyond the corner of the shed where fertilizer is kept on the nursery grounds. Both of us rose at the same time, Buffy taking a moment to put the backpack on and then following me as I silently pad towards the place the movement has to be coming from. It only takes a few moments for us to get there. As Buffy places her back against the corner of the shed I stick my head around the corner at nearly ground level to see what is to be seen. I'm not exactly disappointed. I guess. Maybe?
There are three of them. Demons though what kind I don't have a clue. Ugly demons? Because I've got to admit, if these demons got beat by the ugly stick they must really be into pain. Because...hold on a second they're talking to each other.
"...where is this relic? At this rate we will be here all night."
"Stop whining, it is unbefitting a member of our clan."
"It's not fair! I wanted to be in the group that gets to kill the woman. Her liver is probably very tasty. It is unheard of to be able to dine on one that birthed a Slayer."
I'm moving before I even realize it, my rear legs already springing off the ground and launching me at the whining demon. My claws have already been flexed as they come in contact with its neck and with a quick twist its throat is not so much ripped as it is suddenly missing. And then I'm gone. I hear the sounds of violence behind me as Buffy tears into the demons with her sword and stake. I also hear something else, something I guess I already knew. I'm faster than she is, maybe not physically, but I can make it across town faster than she can without a car. Buffy trusts me to get there in time to save her mother. And I will. Because nothing else is an option.
I've said it before and undoubtedly will again. Joyce is like a second mother to me. More than that really since my own maternal unit probably doesn't know the meaning of it. As I run towards the Summers' house, dodging mailboxes and picket fences I can't help but snarl mentally at my own stupidity. It should have occurred to me before this that she was in danger. Maybe not today in particular, but in general danger. I mean, she's already been attacked a few times for pity's sake. Darla got her fangs into her last year, and she hit Spike with a freaking fire axe just a few months ago. Not this time. And if I have anything to say about it, never again.
The only pause in my trip is a brief moment spent ripping out the throat of a demon that looked like those we saw earlier. Not that it was doing anything particularly suspicious or threatening, but at this point in time it's better safe than sorry. Still, I don't stop to look around because what I'd overheard earlier pointed to more than a single other demon. Once I get to the house though, I run into my first real problem. How in the hell am I supposed to get in the damn door?
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The direct approach it is then. Having spent the past few minutes in vain trying to find any open windows I decide to go for broke and just knock on the stupid door. The problem? I don't have any clothes. No, my life isn't complicated at all.
Think Xander, think. Okay, what would Lassie do? Probably bark a lot and somehow convey that Timmy's stuck down the well again. Not all that helpful at the moment really, because honestly how many times can that kid fall down the damned well? Bad Xander! Focus, I can't change because I don't have any clothes, and I really doubt that Mrs. Summers would like her daughter's boyfriend to knock on her door in the buff. Well, do I have to change? Of course. I mean it's not like she's going to let a panther into the house.
Although, who says she has to let me in?
The plan goes into motion. Picking up a stick with my mouth I pound on the back door fairly hard and get out of sight. Please, let this work and not be too late. Oh and if you happen to be taking requests up there, let me know what I can do to take care of this whole no clothes thing. It's getting seriously annoying at times.
The door opens after a moment and again I'm off like a shot, this time my actions much more gentle. Pushing Joyce back into the kitchen with my head I accidentally push her over so that she lands on her back. No bruises! Buffy's so going to kill me! Slamming the door shut with my rump I growl a little as Joyce tries to move away. When she freezes I stop. Okay, now what? Backing off slightly I jerk my head in the direction of the living room. Nothing. Crap. I snarl a little in frustration. Great, now THAT got a reaction out of her. Fainting is so not the reaction I wanted to deal with right now.
This time I sit back on my haunches and sigh. This isn't exactly going well for me. Frustrating really. Not seeing any other way of doing it, I swat at her legs with my tail. Ha! Another reaction. She's just faking it. I swat at her again, a couple of times to let her know the jig is up, which still seems like a really odd way of saying that a plot is over. Once she's 'come around' I jerk my head towards the living room again, this time also pointing with my tail.
"Good kitty, nice kitty. Please don't hurt me." Hysterical Joyce. Yay. I'm so screwed when Buffy makes it home.
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Joyce makes another subtle reach for the lamp, and this time I roll my eyes at her as I growl. Thirteen. "Good kitty." Twenty-four. "Please God, don't let Buffy come home." Hmmm, that's ninety something. Hard to be sure, I've kind of lost count. Oh, how will Buffy kill me? Let me count the ways.
So, this hasn't been one of my better plans. At all. In fact I don't think anyone could ever come up with a stupider plan than this one. But I'll manage. Oh yes, it may not be today or even tomorrow, but rest assured I'll screw something up even more than this.
Now what? We're sitting here in the living room waiting for Buffy get home, one of use looking forward to it while the other is obviously terrified out of her mind at the idea. Go me. Cue another reach for the lamp. Snarl. Fourteen. No, my life's not complicated at all.
xXx
Finally! I hear the back door slam open and Buffy's shout. "Mom! Xander! Where are you?" A quick feeling of relief passes through my mind. Smash. Followed by a quick feeling of pain. That damned lamp!
"Buffy, get out!" God, I love Mrs. Summers. She just hit a predatory cat with a lamp so that her daughter could get away. Though I really could have done without the whole lamp thing. Really. That hurt! Still it's a good kind of hurt. I think. Okay so it's a lamp upside the head kind of hurt but it was one given with love. And freaking great I probably have a concussion. So today sucks...still. Not that it ever really got any better. General suckiness abounds.
Okay, let's work things out here. Terrified Mrs. Summers. Check. Confused Buffy. Check. Currently a rather large cat. Check. Growing lump on head from the truly hideous lamp that I got beaned with. Big check there. So this hasn't exactly been the most productive brainstorming session the world has ever known. So sue me. I mean I definitely wasn't planning to break into my girlfriend's house as a cat and hold her mother in protective custody until she could show up. Turning my head to Buffy I give a little shrug in confusion.
A loud crash echoes through the living room as a heavy object collides with the back of my skull once more. Almost against my will I turn to look at the newest object to join the pieces of lamp that I'd been hit with previously. Oh joy. The other lamp. Can't have only one hideous lamp in a room. They have to be a matched set of ugly. Sighing I turn away from Mrs. Summers again and simply walk over to Buffy and sit down on my haunches. I give a little snuffle and grin a bit as Buffy gives my head a scratch and hands me the backpack. Quickly I stalk off to the nearest bathroom and just make it before she realizes that I've left her to explain to Joyce just what the hell is going on.
"Hey! Don't leave me here alone with Mom!"
Coming back into the room a few minutes later I see Buffy has thrown herself into one of the comfortable living room couches and has her head in her hands while Joyce is frantically attempting to drag her out of the house. I step into the doorway and give the frame a quick few raps with my knuckles.
"So how's the explanation going Buff?" I grin at her lightly. "Figured out a way to explain to your mother just why a rather large black leopard broke into her house and cornered her in her living room?" Seeing Mrs. Summers' expression I sigh. "I guess that's a no."
"Tag you're in." Buffy doesn't even look up at me. "I'm going to check outside the house to see if anyone is lurking about. You get to explain things to her now. She refuses to believe me." Her off hand tone gives the lie to just how much Joyce's refusal to believe her hurts. As she ducks out of the room I gently run my cheek across hers as she passes me. It's instinctive and very catlike. So much so that I think that it's finally twigged Joyce into the mindset that there is a lot more going on than she can really deal with at the moment. So she does just what any sensible person would do when confronted with a situation like this. She faints. Again. Well at least this time I have arms with which to catch her with. With another put upon sigh I scoop Joyce into my arms and lay her gently onto the couch.
Looking down at Mrs. Summers I can see that this time she's coming to rather quickly. As soon as she manages to open her eyes I draw her gaze to mine and begin the speech.
"Mrs. Summers, I really didn't want for you to find out this way, mostly because I'm fairly certain as to how you're going to react, but it looks like we don't have a choice. The world is older than you know..." Sadly I'm not wrong about her reaction.