SAM

I got a phone call the at about one o'clock in the morning the day after I gave David the CD I had made him.

"Everyone keeps telling me how fragile I am. Everyone but you." was the first thing that David said to me. No, "Hello" or "Hey Sam".

"David?" I yawned.

"Everything's just changing so fast and I can't even comprehend half of what is going on. It's like if I take one step away from it all to just look at it and figure out how to do everything then I'm afraid that I'll be even more behind. I can't take this stress." he whispered.

"I'm stressed too David. It's senior year." I tried.

"No, Sam. It's not just the stress from being a senior. It's everything else too."

"If you want to talk about it, we can. I'm here for you David."

"I think I need to do this on my own. I-"

"You mean like, take a break?" My voice cracked.

"No, Sam. It's like this: I'm changing, as a person. I'm the same old David that I was a few months ago. Diabetes doesn't just come into your life and sit there and let you be the same person you've always been. Somehow it changes you. It's just that I'm so afraid that one day I'll start having complications, or that have an insulin reaction. It's not normal to sit and wonder if I should go and check the level of my sugar. During the day I am constantly reminded of who I am now."

"I know you're afraid David." I took a moment and then said, "I don't think you've accepted your disease."

"Don't even talk to me about accepting my disease. You don't have to do anything to keep yourself in check all day. You don't know what it's like to feel crappy and you definitely don't know what it is like emotionally to deal with it." he said, the anger in his voice rising with every sentence.

"What am I supposed to do? Just stand here and wait until you do accept it? I've accepted the fact that you're sick David, and I still love you. I am here for you! You haven't accepted it and because of that you don't love who you are anymore. But you are the same David that you were before all of this. You just refuse to believe it." My anger started to match his.

"I'm not the same David anymore."

"Yes, you are! Yeah, you've been changed in ways that I haven't. But you're still David. I know that this hasn't been easy for anyone. I know that I can't understand everything that you're going through David. You know that if I could, I would. But all that I can do now is just be here for you. To listen, to talk."

"You have been there Sam, and I'm really thankful for that."

"I'm aware that this isn't easy stuff to go through. I don't think I'd be able to handle it all if it happened to me. But in the meantime, things are changing and lately these changes have been pretty drastic. On top of that there are emotions running wild and I think we need to work through them on our own and be considerate of each other."

"I'm not even sure of who I am anymore. I feel like I'm becoming someone else. I'm changing and I'm not sure where I'm going." he paused. "I'm scared." And then he started crying softly. I heard him sniffle a little bit, and I imagined him in his bed, his legs curled up to his chest, his tear filled eyes looking out his bedroom window.

"David, it's okay. Everything is going to be okay." I assured him softly.

"How do you know that Sam? How can you be so sure?" He sounded like scared child. I wanted to go over to his house and lay there with him, but knew that Secret Service would catch me.

"Because you're my best friend, and I know that you can do this. I know that you can get past this."

"I'm so scared that I'm going to die." I heard him sniffle a sob back. "I could die Sam. And I don't know what to do."

"People with diabetes live normal lives every day. Some never even have complications."

"My life isn't normal." he sobbed, and then paused. "My life was never normal Sam." I could hear the tear flow increasing in the background.

"You can still do anything that you want with your life." I said softly. "It's a manageable disease." There was a few moments of silence on the phone, but I knew that David was still on the line because I could hear him sniffling.

"Sam, can I ask you something?"

"You know that you can ask me anything."

"Would you do something with me?"

"As long as it's legal." I joked quietly.

"Would you go with me to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Fund convention in California?"

"Of course. But why would you want me to go?" I asked, puzzled.

"I want you to give a speech."

"You want me to give a speech? Isn't your dad giving one?"

"Yeah he is. But I wanted you to give one too."

"Why?"

"Because you don't have diabetes, and yet you know exactly what it's like because you have a best friend that does." he said quietly.