Chapter 2: The Art of Annoyance

"So, Dr. Jackson, what can you tell us about your translation?" General Hammond inquired during the routine briefing.

"Well, from what I've deciphered so far, the structure seems to be a meeting place of a race called the Zartell. I believe its purpose was to reveal the true intentions of the participants – sort of like a lie-detector you might say, to be used by parties prior to a marriage or the signing of an important contract. It functions by forming a telepathic-like bond between the participants the moment they jointly hold the crystal.

Now, I've translated the name of the temple to mean either 'Blanket of Freedom' or 'Connector of Souls', but I think you'll agree that the latter makes the most sense in this case."

"All right, Dr. Jackson. Can it be reversed?"

"I'm sure it can, but there's a lot more to translate before I can determine how. You see……"

Boring!

Sir, I'm trying to listen here.

Come on Carter, it's always the same thing: translate this, figure out that, worthwhile this, study that – you know: BORING.

Sir!

Ok, ok! I'll try to pay attention.

"… so I'm confident that the answer is there somewhere. I just have to find it."

"Thank you Dr. Jackson." The General turned his attention to another member of SG-1, "Major Carter, is there anything you can gain from studying the object more closely?"

"Yes, Sir. I would like to run a few tests on the crystal. Maybe determine how the device works from a scientific point of view. Perhaps I can try to find out a way to reverse the…."

As she went on, O'Neill leaned back in his chair, staring at General Hammond, completely oblivious to the fact that Carter had begun tripping over her words. Pausing for a moment, she glared at O'Neill and responded, "Colonel, can you please stop? I can't concentrate. And no, he does not look anything like Homer Simpson!"

With all eyes staring at him, a stern look from Hammond, a raise eyebrow from Teal'c, and a restrained smirk from Daniel Jackson, O'Neill attempted to regain his composure. "General, if I may, I recommend adjourning this meeting so that Daniel and Carter can get back to whatever it is they need to do to rectify the situation. The sooner we get back to our normal selves, the better."

"I agree, Colonel. Dismissed."

With that, O'Neill waited for the members of his team to file out of the room. Following behind Carter, his eyes automatically gravitated to her swaying hips and his mind began drooling like his favorite tv character…

Mmmm. Must watch Carter's six.

"Sir!"

Damn it, Carter. This is awkward, you know.

Awkward!

This is how I survived before. You know - I couldn't act out my feelings, so I resorted to thinking them. It's hard to stop after all these years. I'm sorry.

I never knew you thought about me that much.

Of course I do. From morning to night. Actually, at night I have a few other thoughts about us that also involve…

"Shh! Colonel!" Carter interrupted, looking uneasily toward the SG personnel who were passing by in the hallway.

Relax Carter. No one can hear us. Actually, I'm starting to like the idea of us being connected. It's somewhat liberating.

What? How can you say that?

Come on, Carter. You mean, you never think about us? You know, us being more... how do I say…

Intimate? Her cheeks turned pink as she coyly looked away.

So you have! You DO have your own dirty thoughts! What other things have you been hiding in that mind of yours?…. Ooohh, like that…. Thought about that, too…… Yes, definitely gotta try that one!

Carter ducked her head in embarrassment, trying desperately to think of anything other than her hidden sexual fantasies with her commanding officer… but it was already too late.