Chapter 11: Addicted
"You were what?" Hammond fumed at the two officers in front of him. "Do you have any idea what kind of position you've put yourselves in?"
"General," Daniel piped up in their defense, "I don't mean to interrupt, but I think it's safe to say that Jack and Sam are not quite themselves."
"What are you saying, Dr. Jackson?"
"Think about it. If their souls have become connected, which is very likely the case since they've been joined for three days now, then ultimately their conscious thoughts are inadvertently being influenced by the alien device. And if that is the case, it is very likely they weren't able to control what they thought or felt about each other, given the fact that they cannot simply turn these feelings off."
Hammond's appearance softened, and he took a deep breath. "So what you're saying is that Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter engaged in relations of a sexual nature as a direct result of the Zartell crystal."
"General, if I may –" O'Neill tried to interrupt.
"No you may not, Colonel. What you may do is get your team back to that planet and get this thing reversed. Am I clear?"
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Once again, SG-1 returned to the planet, secured the gate, and located the temple. Teal'c stood guard at the entrance while the other members made their way to the atrium.
The altar stood innocently in the center of the room. Carter approached it, pulled off her pack, and placed the blue cylinder back in its place.
"In my analysis of the crystal," she began, "I couldn't detect any energy readings. I think the altar itself generates the power needed to activate the device."
Running her fingers down the alien script, she searched the altar's frame for an access panel.
"Here!" she exclaimed, locating a section which opened to reveal a column of narrow crystal slates.
"I think I can reverse this, Sir, but it might take a few attempts."
Carter, you do realize that if you succeed –
I know… I don't want to lose you.
You won't lose me. It will just be different. I'll miss your thoughts.
Yours too.
"Uh, guys?" Daniel interrupted, watching the two carry on a seemingly intimate conversation.
"Sorry, Daniel… Ok, I'm going to try switching these two control chips… There, that should do it. We're both going to have to touch the crystal, Sir, to find out if this works."
O'Neill looked at Daniel and then back at her. Hesitantly, he reached his hand and grabbed hold of one end of the object while she held the other.
Did it work? Colonel, can you hear me?
Still here, Sam.
Sam, she repeated, holding on to the way he said her name. Her eyes looked painfully at him. Please tell me this won't change anything between us.
I will always love you.
Daniel turned his eyes away, trying to find something interesting stare at. He didn't need the help of the alien device to know what they were saying to each other. Some things were better said without words.
O'Neill nodded his approval for her to continue.
"Trying another set," she announced, sliding crystals into new slots. "Ok, let's hold the crystal again."
Daniel hastily stepped back as a wave of light passed over them.
Sir?
…
Colonel, can you hear me?
…
"I think it worked, Sir." She spoke out loud while a lump formed in her throat. He looked at her. Those eyes spoke such pain and loss to her, but she could not feel him anymore. He was gone.
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The iris opened and SG-1 reappeared through the gate.
"Was the mission a success?" Hammond questioned immediately through the intercom.
O'Neill stared blankly at the glass and responded, "The effects have been reversed, and the crystal has been returned, General." But he knew that success was purely dependent on a person's point of view. Being with Carter, being so close and intimate with her – that was success. But this… this was just emptiness.
After unpacking his gear, O'Neill headed to his office. Although he usually avoided that room at all costs, he really needed to just get away from everything. Wanted to think. Wanted not to think.
Closing the door, he sunk into his chair and kicked the trash can over with his boot. He was alone with his own thoughts. It was just him now, and he hated it. She was gone and he missed her.
It's not like she's on another planet, he tried convincing himself. She's still here. You can always go see her. Touch her when no one's looking. Spend time with her off base. But deep inside he knew it wasn't the same. His mind craved to hear her… to feel her… to know her every thought and share in all her pleasures... to feel her arousal once more and to be able to impart his own to her in ways no one else could even fathom.
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He didn't know how long he had sat there, slumped over on his desk, head down in his folded arms. He wasn't expecting company when Daniel intruded.
"Jack?" Daniel spoke through the door. "Are you in there?"
He decided not to answer. Why should he? What did it matter anyway? Maybe he would go away.
"Jack?" The door opened and Daniel saw O'Neill sitting at his desk, his head tucked between his folded arms.
"Jaaack?"
"Go away Daniel," he finally bellowed out, head still tucked away in his arms on his desk.
"Do you know what time it is? It's late. Maybe you should eat som-"
O'Neill's head shot up. "You know, Daniel, what I really need right now is to be left alone. Can't you get that?"
Daniel stepped back, not anticipating such a heated reaction.
"I know this has been hard for you, Jack, but –"
Just then, O'Neill's hands swept across his desk, sending everything flying to the floor. "You know what is really hard? Living without meaning. Do you know that? You see all this stuff?" he barked, opening his desk drawers, "It's all pointless. It's of no consequence. Do you understand that, Daniel?"
Daniel stood confused while O'Neill continued to glare at him. Then the archeologist caught sight of Jack's hands and realized they were shaking uncontrollably at his sides.
O'Neill followed Daniel's eyes and realized his hands were trembling. He clenched his fists tightly to regain control. "Daniel, I'm warning you. I'm absolutely fine, so LEAVE ME ALONE!"
To emphasize his point, O'Neill began grabbing things out of his desk, throwing them at his office walls, nearly hitting Daniel with a box of staples.
Dodging out of the way, Daniel quickly left the office and found the nearest intercom.
"Uh, I need Dr. Fraiser, now!
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O'Neill leaned back into the wall. There was nothing else to throw and he was feeling exhausted and somewhat nauseous. And the air in the room was beginning to feel hot and humid. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on taking deep, slow breaths, since maybe that would help slow down the pounding in his chest.
But it didn't help.
He squeezed his eyes shut when he felt the pounding sound of footsteps approaching. Everything was so loud. Even the ticking clock on the wall seemed to be hooked up to an amplifier.
"Daniel," his voice warned, "I told you to GO AWAY."
"Colonel," Dr. Fraiser spoke very calmly, "I'm going to have to ask you to come with me."
"Oh you have GOT to be kidding me," O'Neill jeered, still leaning against the office wall with his eyes tightly shut. "Daniel, you irritating little-"
"Colonel, I just want you to come with us to the infirmary for some quick tests."
O'Neill shook his head in annoyance. Tests. There were always tests. That wasn't what he needed. He needed Carter. But now he couldn't have her. And that meant his world was irrevocably empty.
"I'm fine," he finally responded, "Just need to be left ALONE!"
When he opened his eyes to glare at her, the room started to spin and his head felt unusually light. His hands instinctively reached back to the wall behind him to steady himself.
"Colonel?" Fraiser questioned as she watched him lean his weight against the wall and lower himself to the floor.
He felt sick. Sick to his stomach. Sick of the world. Sick of having to live a lie again.
He felt his body tremble and wrapped his arms around his legs to stop the shaking… to comfort himself. He could feel sweat form along his hairline and drops of perspiration run down the side of his face.
"I told you I'm fine!" He wasn't fine. But that didn't matter. He didn't matter. Nothing mattered now.
"With all due respect, Sir, you are not yourself right now, and I need to find out why."
"I don't care anymore," he blurted out before he could catch himself. He tried to blink, but his eyelids seemed so heavy. He noticed the ground moving beneath him and realized that he must have been rocking himself back and forth.
Janet Fraiser looked at Daniel with concern on her face. She nodded her head at her assistant, who passed her a syringe, already prepared for her.
"Colonel," she spoke very softly as she carefully approached him, "We all care about you and want to help you."
He didn't respond and continued cradling himself with his head in his arms, his skin sweaty and pale. Daniel thought he could actually hear Jack cry.
"It's ok, Colonel. I'm just going to give you something that will help you right now."
Dr. Fraiser carefully placed herself at his side and rubbed his arm soothingly before she gave him the injection. In moments, he felt his body drift away…
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"Sam?" Daniel and Dr. Fraiser called in unison as they entered Carter's lab. A quick survey of the room indicated she had suffered the same fate. Files had been thrown all over the floor and lab equipment toppled over. A muffled cry caught their attention.
She was there, in the corner of the lab, curled up in a ball.
"Sam!" Daniel called, rushing to her side. "It's ok, Sam," he comforted, hugging her gently.
"No. No it's not!" she sobbed.
"It's going to be, Sam. We're going to help you. The both of you."
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Hammond peered into the small glass windows of both isolation rooms. "Status, Doctor," he questioned.
"They seem to be in withdrawal, Sir."
"What?"
"As far as I can tell, that device had an unusual effect on their brain's anatomy. It must have worked by triggering specific centers of their brain, allowing them to communicate on a level that I, quite frankly, am not qualified to explain, Sir."
"What can we do about it?"
"I'm not sure if there is anything we can do. It's as though they're addicted to each other. Reversing the effects of the crystal served to separate them, but has also resulted in their intense, and rather immediate withdrawal symptoms."
"How long will it last?"
"Frankly, I don't know. It is alien technology we know little about. What I do know is that if their symptoms keep escalating, we will have a bigger problem on our hands."
"What do you mean?"
"General, their bodies can only handle so much. They both have a rapid heart beat and elevated blood pressure, both of which are steadily on the rise. And they aren't responding to medication. If this continues, their blood pressure will reach dangerously high levels, Sir, and I don't need to tell you what can happen if that occurs."
"Thank you, Doctor. Keep me appraised."