Operation Red Champagne
Day One
"Sir… I think champagnes come only in one color. And they're supposed to be white, not red…"
"Shut up Havoc. You owe me big for getting my hands dirty with your work."
"But this entire thing was your idea…" Havoc said in a small voice that was completely inaudible to the Lt. Colonel's preoccupied sense of hearing.
"Sir, I think eavesdropping like this is not a very brilliant plan..." Fuery objected.
"Why not?"
"Well… if somebody opens the door…"
"Yes sir, I agree. We should formulate a better, safer plan." Breda said.
"And I suppose you have any suggestions?" Hughes diverted his attention to the stubby lieutenant.
"You can stay inside the office, sir. It won't look suspicious… compared to eavesdropping like this outside the Colonel's door."
Hughes sighed. "You're right. What was I thinking?! Well then, since you're very bright and promising I'm assigning you to spy on Hawkeye. I think you can handle it."
His eyes grew like huge saucers. "B-but sir…"
"Oh, I should get in there now. We all look suspicious lying around like this outside the Colonel's office…"
"But sir…"
Hughes winked. "I have a plan… the rest of you can just help Breda."
All color vanished from the officer's faces.
"Now get out of here… that's an order."
"Ah, Hughes! I didn't know you were here…" it was the Colonel and his unusual smile plastered on his face. Hughes knew what the man was up to. The poor guy hated paperwork, and right now there are about two piles of paper on top of his desk. His arrival would serve as a good excuse to skip the damn desk job.
"I can see you're a little busy I'll just come back later so…"
He couldn't understand how but for some superhuman ability the colonel managed to travel from his desk to the door within half of a second. "Why did you stop by Central Office, Lt. Col.?"
"Col. Mustang-sir, these papers should be signed before noon tomorrow." Hawkeye reminded him with an apparent sense of urgency in her tone.
"But Hughes and I have something very important to discuss…"
The lieutenant was looking at Hughes, waiting for his – possibly favorable – answer… but no, he's unfortunately not on her side his time. "Yes, we do have something important to… discuss…"
Mustang candidly puffed out in relief, earning another cold stare from his lady lieutenant. "Oh, look at the time!" he began shoving Hughes toward the door. "We should get going now…"
"But I'm supposed to say this to Hawkeye as well…"
"Say what?" Hawkeye asked.
The colonel froze.
"About the gossip that you and the colonel are romantically involved..." Hughes grinned before saying, "I think I have a solution."
"Sit down, sir." Hawkeye said, pointing her gaze toward the other end of the room where a wooden table with four empty chairs quietly sat. It was a silent order coming from a sharp-shooting lieutenant. Although both males were superior in rank, they meekly obeyed the subordinate's order like two frail puppies.
"I want the rumors to stop." Hawkeye said. "It will do damage on the colonel's reputation. It has to stop. Have you identified the source of all these lies?"
"Unfortunately, no." Hughes answered. "But we – I mean, you – should prove them wrong. That's the only thing you can do about it… well, short of killing the malicious source, that is."
"Prove them wrong?" Mustang asked. "How?"
"Our relationship remained strictly professional, Hughes, and yet people still believe in those rumors."
Mustang nodded in agreement.
Hawkeye eyed her superior officers and continued, "I will not resign or leave the service just because of this, and if you're still thinking about that 'vacation', I'm sorry but I don't think leaving would really solve anything. It will make me…" she diverted her gaze toward Mustang, "Us… look guilty. And that will definitely not look good on you, sir. Your reputation will be stained for life."
Hughes nearly laughed. The colonel's reputation had long been stained, his personal life is far from impressive and the number of women he had left behind is quite record-breaking. However, none of those flings ever involved someone from inside the corps… which made it acceptable. A relationship within the military is and will always be taboo.
"How about transferring to my office, lieutenant Hawkeye? The rumors might stop when you're separated from the colonel."
Mustang objected. "Doesn't that look like I punished the lieutenant or something? It would mean something to them, Hughes."
"It's okay with me, sir, if it's the only way to end this."
"No it's not okay. They've been dragging you into this controversy and I don't like it. It's not only my reputation being damaged, they're ruining yours too."
"But I'm not the one who needed the good reputation. I'm not in need of a promotion. They can say anything they want to say about me. I really don't care, and it won't affect me. But to you, sir, a promotion means everything!"
Silence.
"Perhaps you can assign a new right-hand man instead. Can you think of anyone, like Havoc perhaps?"
He frowned. "Havoc?"
"Yeah. He's a straight guy. No one will believe that you and Havoc are having an affair even if it's true."
Silence filled the office one again. It took a while for Hughes to realize how disgusting his previous statement was.
"I think that's a good idea." Hawkeye agreed. "There will be no need to transfer me to another office or to forcibly take a vacation."
The sudden gloom brought about by his disgusting idea vanished into thin air. Hughes was delighted that Hawkeye approved of his suggestion. With her on his side, convincing the colonel -- who obviously didn't like the idea -- would be a piece-of-cake.