I don't own Supernatural, not one bit of it, so if you are planning on suing, please, please don't. I'm a recent college grad with negative money (I owe money) so please just let me use the brilliant characters.
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Ch. 6 – Penance
"It's what I deserve, Dean." Sam whispered.
Dean leaned forward to catch the words. "What is?"
Sam gestured towards his chest and the bruises around his neck.
Dean caught his younger brother's hand. "You're wrong. You don't deserve any of this."
He looked up at Dean. "If I hadn't-"
"Sam. You'd do anything for them, and you have. You didn't deserve to get the shit kicked out of you by some jacked up spirit, you didn't deserve to grow up like you did and you don't deserve to blame yourself for it all."
He nodded slightly. "Kinda tired." He slurred.
"Yeah, well. You have enough pain meds in you to knock you out for a week."
"Sounds good." He sighed. "Not leaving?"
"Never."
With the help of the medication, Sam slipped back into sleep. Dean eased him back onto the bed and moved to a chair.
Bobby passed Dean a cup of coffee and pulled up a chair. Dean wrapped his hands around the mug and felt the warmth seep into his hands.
"That's the first rational thing I've seen him do in a while." Bobby looked over at Dean. "Though, beating the shit out of something is usually your course of action."
"Yeah, I've been known to do that, not with broken ribs though." Dean shook his head slightly. "I wish I could get into his head."
"You do more for him than you know."
Dean turned to him. "Not getting soft on me, are you, Bobby?"
Bobby smiled. "Not a chance." He looked down at the floor between his feet. "You know, sometimes I think the only reason I keep those cars out there is so that you boys have someplace to figure out who you are again."
"You might be right."
Sam shifted in his sleep and he winced. He slipped his hand out of Dean's and curled on his side. Dean pulled the blanket up and leaned back in the chair. It wasn't the first time, and probably wasn't the last time that Dean wished that just once, Sam could get a break. That they both could get a break. To drive someplace not to hunt down something that was killing people, but to drive for the hell of it. That Sam could have been what he wanted to be in college, that he could have grown up in one house with a dad, mom and brother, like everyone else.
"Everything always seems to be fucked up, doesn't it Sammy." Dean muttered to himself.
Sam woke up alone in the room. The house was silent around him. He sat up, felt the pain in his ribs and slowly stood.
"Dean? Bobby?" His voice wasn't strong enough to be heard out of the room.
Slowly he walked into the hall. Something was wrong, the house was too quiet. Especially after his encounter with the car, they wouldn't be too far away. It took him a while to check the house, but it was as empty as he feared.
He stood in the back door, saw the impala and Bobby's van. "Dean? Bobby?"
"Hey, Sam." The voice sent ice in his veins.
He slowly turned. Jess stood a few feet away, pale and the blood bright across her white dress. She smiled at him, but there was something cold and dangerous in her smile. He backed against the doorway and felt his breath tighten in his lungs.
"Aren't you glad to see me?" She smiled.
He nodded slightly.
She took a step forward and was suddenly inches from him. He could smell her blood under the smell of smoke. Her eyes were too dark and too hollow to be hers. It was all wrong. He swallowed the nausea that rose out of fear.
"You don't seem happy to see me, Sam."
"Just didn't expect you." He whispered.
She cupped his face with an icy hand and he shuddered. She brought her lips close to his and looked into his eyes.
"I came back for you." She pressed her dead lips to his.
He tried to pull away, but she pushed his head against the wall. He wanted to get away but her surprising strength and his fear held him where he was. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and kissed him harder. She pulled back and smiled.
"Jess." He half sobbed.
She bit her bottom lip and held his face between her hands. "I'm never going to let you go." It was a threat and they both knew that.
She leaned in to kiss him again, her icy skin pressed against his, so cold it almost hurt. She wanted to hurt him.
Sam jolted awake. His heart pounded and his stomach churned from the images of the dream that he couldn't shake. The room was empty and he didn't want to be alone. He held his breath and faintly made out Dean's and Bobby's voices as they drifted in from the kitchen. He relaxed slightly. He felt sick and the room shifted slightly as he sat on the edge of the bed.
He shakily stood and went into the bathroom. He caught his reflection in the mirror and saw the paleness in his face and the fear in his eyes. His stomach clenched and he vomited into the sink in front of him. He reached up and turned on the water as he vomited again.
Dean ran to the doorway and saw Sam hunched over and shaking. He went to his brother's side and gripped Sam's shoulders.
"You're all right, Sammy."
Sam sunk to his knees and still kept a grip on the edge of his sink.
Dean knelt next to him. "Everything's going to be okay."
Sam rested his forehead on the edge of the counter and tried to straighten everything out. He felt dizzy and detached, lost. He reached up and grabbed Dean's hand.
"What happened, Sammy" Dean's voice was calm, quiet.
"Sorry." He whispered.
"Are you okay?"
He nodded slightly and closed his eyes. "I thought she was here, but it was all wrong. And she was cold, and I could feel her, but it wasn't right." He muttered.
"Jess?" He hated to ask.
Sam nodded again. He relaxed as fatigue set in and tried to pull him into sleep again.
"Get some rest, Sammy."
"Don't wanna sleep." He whispered.
"I'll stay right next to you, I won't let anything happen."
"Okay." He was exhausted enough to believe him.
Bobby was close by and he helped Dean get Sam up and back to bed. Sam collapsed onto the bed and pulled his knees in towards his chest. Dean gripped his younger brother's hand as Sam fought and lost to the sleep that pulled at his exhausted body.
"What happened, Dean?" Bobby whispered in case Sam wasn't quiet asleep yet.
"Nightmare." Dean glanced back at him. "About Jess."
"He's starting that again?"
"I don't think it ever really stopped, they're just worse now." He looked at Sam and watched him sleep.
Dean was true to his word, like everything else he promised Sam, and stayed through the evening and into the night. Bobby brought in a sandwich for Dean and sat a few feet away. Sam slept without knowing anything but the blackness of unconsciousness. He shifted painfully under the blanket.
"Is he all right?" Bobby leaned forward.
"Don't know if I should wake him to take his pills or let him sleep." Dean muttered.
"If he's sleeping, I'd let him be."
Dean nodded and leaned back in the chair.
"Why don't you get some sleep, I know that you haven't gotten more than a handful of hours in the last few days."
He shook his head. "I said I'd stay here."
"I'll stay up with him and you'll be just across the room."
Dean stood and went to bed. He didn't sleep, he just lay there and watched Sam sleep. Sam woke a few times, from pain rather than dreams, and Dean was at his side in a second. Dean helped Sam take more medication, or eat a little something if he was able, before he drifted back asleep. It was the first real sleep that Sam had gotten in more days than either cared to count.