Disclaimer: Am I J.K. Rowling? Obviously not.
I am Mary's clenching stomach. I will not vomit. I will not vomit. I will not vomit. That basic feeling slime that coats your teeth and tongue and gums has crawled up into my mouth. I can feel the bile rising in my throat. And yet there is no cause.
There is always a cause, and then an effect. Not an effect without a cause. No. That is improbable. It can not exist. Everything has a cause. A house catches on fire. It could be because you left a candle burning near a curtain. It could be because the house was struck by lightning. A house does not spontaneously catch on fire. Therefore, there must be a cause as to why I have the sudden urge to reveal the entire contents of my lunch on the floor of my flat.
Of course, I do, in fact, know the cause. I do not want to admit the cause, because I feel that the cause is not strong enough to warrant this feeling in my gut, however, I shall, to you. I am nervous. Nervous about the date with the cute guy.
Why am I nervous? That, I can not tell you. It's not because I don't want to tell you, it's because I just don't know. I'm never nervous. I am one of those freakishly calm type-B people that don't react to anything. Or at least, that's how I've been lately; and by lately I mean the past four years.
Maybe it's because this is first date I've been on in months? Maybe it's because this might just be a joke between James and his friend. Maybe, just maybe, I'm not nervous at all and I just had something that upset my stomach for lunch. But that can't be the answer because I had a power bar and an organic apple for lunch. Damn, it must be the nerves.
It doesn't really matter though. I haven't vomited in years. I've gotten that feeling where it could come up at any moment, but the actual vomit has never come up. And I wouldn't let myself vomit anyway. I'd just choke it back down.
I can't vomit on a new dress now can I? It's blue and pretty. Wouldn't want apple chunks and chewed up protein to ruin it now. If I keep moving maybe the vomit will go down.
So I apparate in an alley near the restaurant, unseen of course, you never know when muggles are watching. I've decided to walk the last six blocks to the restaurant. Like I would let James pick me up. Not with the sex freaks roaming around my apartment. It's like they never leave. All the do is have sex and eat and then take a shit and then have more sex.
I have to be out of the apartment 98 of the time because it makes me seem like a creeper if I stay there. I bet they're doing it right now. I bet they're doing it on my bed. And I'm the one that seems like a pervert. I wonder if they have done it on my bed. I should change the sheets more often. Tomorrow, I'll change them tomorrow.
I nod my head with my decision. I must look strange. Walking along in high heels nodding to myself. I wonder if Eric's right and that I do look like I'm about to be carted off to the asylum.
I'm here for a date, but I'm not sure what name the reservation is under, I tell the hostess. This place is classy, the type of classy that will stop onlookers in their tracks to stare through the window at all the people in their classy clothes. I'm suddenly feeling a tad under dressed. Fantastic.
I am Mary's sense of unease. I'm going to be an awkward freak. I can feel it. No matter how hard I try I'm still going to look like an idiot. Fantastic.
"Are you Lily?" The hostess leaned in conspiratorially. What is this a crime show? I tell her that yes, my name is Lily. "Your date is already here," she leans away and motions for me to follow her. The floor is made of marble, it seems, and her high heels clack loudly down the hallway. This place is ritzy. I don't belong in a place like this. I belong in sweats hiding under my bed.
I follow her into a private room, it's dimly lit and the faint sounds of piano music fill the air. James smiles and stands when he sees me. He waves.
I am Mary's calm smile. I smile back. The bile seems to slither back down my throat. My mouth is no longer full of basic slime. He holds my chair out for me, and I sit. The hostess must've left; she's no where in sight.
"You look very pretty tonight," James tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear.
You're not so bad yourself, I say. He chuckles and asks me if Champaign is okay. I tell him it's fantastic. I don't know what's with me and that word today. "Good," He smiles that charming smile again. "Because I already ordered it," as he says this, a waiter, I'm assuming ours, presents a bottle that James checks.
"Cheers," I say. He grins. He holds his own flute up and we clink and then I sip. I laugh. He asks me why I'm laughing, so I tell him.
"You like the bubbles," James shakes his head, chortling. The night passes by quickly. James tells me stories. I tell him stories. I think I made him laugh more than he made me laugh. It's late. I want a jelly wand.
"I want a jelly wand," I tell James as we leave the restaurant. He laughs, his laughter is magical; it always puts a smile on my face.
I am Mary's aching cheeks. "You want a jelly wand?" He repeats me. Yes, I tell him, I'm craving one. "Do you have jelly wands at home?" he asks. I don't want to bring James home to the sex maniacs.
I tell him no, James says cool and tells me we're going to go to his flat. "You have jelly wands at your flat?"
"Yes. I hope you don't mind sharing though?"
"With you?"
"And with Sirius. We live together," I nod and tell him sharing is fine. In fact, I'm a super share-er, I say. "Oh yeah?" there's that laugh again. Oh yes, I nod emphatically, I share all the time, in fact, I'm so good at sharing, that when I share, you wouldn't even realize I was sharing until after I shared with you. "That is super sharing," Oh yes indeed.
I enjoy the fact that I make this boy laugh. I don't think I've been flirty and making boys laugh since a long time ago. Since, Paul, I think, I don't remember. Paul was last year sometime. God, has it really been that long since I've been on a date?
James knocks on the door, "Sirius!" He calls, "Are you decent?" I don't hear a reply. The door swings open. Sirius is folding socks. "Hello," He says to me. His eyes crinkle when he smiles.
"Hello," I smile and wave. He drops the socks he was folding on the floor. James goes to the cabinet, Sirius asks him what's he's doing. James tells him. "Jelly wands?" Sirius laughs and asks. His laugh is like a tinkle of bells. James asks if he wants some. "Hell yes! Of course I want some." Sirius sits down next to me. In five minutes flat I'm playing patty cake with him.
The jelly wands come, we eat them, and James brought chocolate frogs also. So we eat them as well. James says they're having a party tomorrow night and asks me if I want to come. I say I would love to, so Sirius decides he's bored and gets fire whisky.
I am Mary's new attitude towards life.
A/N: Okay, the "I am Mary's…" thing is a reference from the book and movie Fight Club. The body part represents how she is feeling. Also, this isn't exactly going to follow J.K.'s protocol. James and Lily will end up together and stuff but I'm not sure if I want to go further than them getting together. If I do they will join the order and all the jazz but their back stories will be different. Review?