Disclaimer: I don't own Inu-yasha, much as I'd like to. The poem 'Fear' is my own work, though, so please don't use it without asking and giving me a little credit. Also, the character 'Milan' is my own creation. So, same goes as the poem. "Quotes"talking; 'I don't know what these are called'thoughts; Dear Diaryentries from Kagome's diary

Attention: To all my loyal readers, this is a revised edition and I changed a couple of minor things. Mostly just slight details, spelling mistakes, and grammar mistakes. I hope you enjoy.

Fear

Chapter Two

Dear Diary,July 14, 1501

Momma has told me that I am to marry Lord Sesshoumaru's brother. I already know that he had a hand in that. I remember Momma telling me that I was too young to marry when I asked her last week. Yet now, I am to marry the brother of the man who has caused me to fear so much. I wish Kikyo was still alive. I could have told her and I wouldn't have to be suffering from this guilt. I cannot sleep. I cannot eat. I know only that if my Rin were ever to find out, it would hurt her. If I'm not careful, then Fluffy will notice my loss of weight. I cannot allow that. He would get suspicious. I must go now, for I have no time left. Milan is calling me. It's time for my lessons and as much as I'd like to, I cannot afford to sneak out.

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"Lady Kagome. You are to meet your betrothed, Lord Inu-yasha today. Surely your maid can find something more appropriate then that." Kagome's governess, Milan looks at Kagome sternly. "I suggest you go back up to your room and have your maid pick out something more suitable. No, I'll go with you. You can never trust the maids to know what to pick." Kagome sadly walks back up the stairs. She still wore black most of the time and was always getting yelled at for it. Milan follows Kagome up the stairs and they turn into Kagome's room. Milan starts going through Kagome's clothes as Kagome sits on her bed. Milan pulls out a beautiful blue dress and Kagome gets a stubborn look in her eyes. 'Much as she would look beautiful in it, she would never wear it.' She sadly puts the dress back and instead pulls out a very low cut black one. It has a low swoop neck and a matching corset.

She gives it to the maid, Sango and watches as the maid starts to undress Kagome, but Kagome pushes her hands away and undresses herself. She puts on the kirtle and Sango pulls the strings of her corset tight and starts to tie it. Milan pushes Sango out of the way and pulls the corset tighter. It tightens a few inches more and Milan glares at Sango, and ties it as tight as she can. Sango grabs the dress and puts it over Kagome's head. "Kagome? Have you lost weight?" Kagome sighs and has an annoyed expression on her face. "Yes, that is why Sango didn't tighten the corset as much as you did." "Hmp. You should be proud that you've lost weight. You were getting a bit too pudgy for a while there." She unties the corset and hands one string to a startled Sango. "Here Sango, pull. Let's see if we can get this any tighter." They both pull as hard as they can and the corset tightens about another couple of inches. They tie it and Kagome slips on her shoes. Sango puts up Kagome's hair as Milan watches and they walk back downstairs for dinner.

Inu-yasha gasps as he sees a replica of Kikyo come down the stairs. 'This must be Kagome. She looks exactly like Kikyo. Only thing is different though, she's skinnier then Kikyo ever was.' He looks confused for a moment when he realizes that she is wearing black. Nobody else was. 'Why is she wearing black? Is she still in mourning for Kikyo, even after all these years? She is quite pretty, but she'll never compare to Kikyo.' He walks up to her and gives her his arm. She takes and he leads her to her seat. He pulls out her chair and she gracefully sits down. "Thank you." He sits down beside her and the servants start to serve the first course.

"I don't mean to be rude, but why are you wearing black?" She looks up at him and he's startled when he sees all the pain and guilt hidden in her eyes. 'How can she hide everything so well from everyone else? Nobody has seemed to notice all the emotion that she hides in her eyes.' "It's because of my sister, my twin. She was killed. I made a promise that I would mourn for her for the rest of my life, until she was reincarnated. We were more then sisters, she was my friend and I loved her." He looks at her sad expression. "I knew your sister. She wouldn't have wanted you to mourn for her all your life." Kagome looks at him with surprise. "You knew Kikyo?" "Yes, I did. And I more then knew her; I loved her. Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to the garden?" He holds out his arms. She nods, places her arm on his, and he leads her out to the garden.

"How long did you know her for? Was she happy?" They sit down on a bench and he looks at her. "I knew her for about a year. She was happy, but she always missed her family, especially you. She was always talking about you. I remember her saying once that you and Kaede were the only people she had ever loved before I came along. I loved her, and she loved me." Kagome smiles sadly. "So you are the one that she was always talking about in letters. We used to write letters to each other and give them to our friend Shippo. He would always deliver them, no matter what happened." He grins. "I remember a young kitsune who would always bring Kikyo letters. Whenever I'd ask what they were, she'd just say that they were a memory from home." "That sounds exactly like something that she would say. I miss her so much." He smells salt water and he starts to panic. "Don't cry! Please, don't cry" She hasn't shed any tears, but he can see them in her eyes.

"Don't worry. I don't cry. I come close at times, but I never actually break down and cry." She looks at her waist and blushes slightly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be telling you this. It's impolite. By the way, I don't mean to be rude, but how did you know that I had tears in my eyes" He looks a bit startled at her question, but decides to tell her the truth. "I could smell your tears. I'm an inu-hanyou. My half-brother, Sesshoumaru, can do it too." She looks a little sad and a coldness enters her eyes. "Oh. Thank you for your concern." He looks a little confused at her sudden coldness.

"It's okay. Would you like to go riding with me tomorrow? Or even better, would you like to have an archery contest? I remember Kikyo saying that you were fond of the sport. I admit that I'm not very good, but there are others in my castle who are." She looks at him coolly. "A ride would be fine, but archery is unlady-like and I'm forbidden from practicing it." "Okay. I will pick you up right after lunch then." She curtsies. "Thank you. That would be fine." She walks back inside leaving a very bewildered hanyou standing in the garden alone.

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"Hello. You must be Lady Kagome's betrothed, Lord Inu-yasha." The young, familiar-looking kitsune is waiting for him to reply. "Yes. I am Inu-yasha. You look familiar. Have I seen you before" The kitsune looks a bit panicked when Inu-yasha asks this, but quickly hides it. "I don't think so, my lord, but if it helps, my name is Shippo." 'That name… Where I have I heard it before...' "I've heard that name before and I know that I've seen you...I remember now. You're the one who used to carry the letters for Kimmf mnf." Inu-yasha bites Shippo's hand. "What the fuck? Get off me." "I don't know why Kagome told you, but nobody else is to know, idiot. It would get Kagome into more trouble then she is already always in." We're going to have to talk, after Kagome and I take our ride." He glares at the kit, then walks inside, Shippo trailing behind him. A maid sees him and run upstairs.

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"Kagome! Lord Inu-yasha is...Oh" "Can't this thing get any tighter? Lord Sesshoumaru says that she is too fat and that her corset needs to be tighter." The petite maid bows to Kagome's mother. "I am sorry, Madame, but the corset is too big. She needs a smaller one, if you want it any tighter." The tiny, black haired maid says all of this with a cute French accent. "Get one of her corsets from when she was younger and put that on her. She must have a tiny waist. Right now she just looks like a cow. And tell Lord Inu-yasha that she won't be coming down for a while. Offer him some tea." The French maid bows and runs out of the room.

"Pardon moi. But are you Monsieur Inu-yasha" Inu-yasha looks up at the French maid. He nods. "I'm sorry to interrupt you, but Mademoiselle Kagome will not be down for a while. I am to offer you some tea while you wait." He sighs. "It's okay. I'm fine." She bows. "Very good, now I must go find one of Mademoiselle Kagome's corsets from when she was younger." She says the last part more to herself then to him as she turns and heads up the stairs. 'Fuck. How long does it take for her to get ready? Wait, that maid said that she had to go find one of Kagome's corsets from when she was younger. Does that mean that she's even skinnier then she looked last night?' He looks at the clock and waits.

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"Finally! What took you so long? Never mind. Just get her into it, now. She has kept her betrothed waiting too long already." The maids and Milan squeeze Kagome into the corset. Her breasts barely fit, but her waist is tiny. They put the riding habit over her corset and she faints. Everybody waits while Sango goes and gets the smelling salts. She sticks them under Kagome's nose and she slowly wakes up. Sango helps her up and she sways, but then walks downstairs.

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'Finally. She sure can take a long time...' his jaw drops when he realizes how small her waist really is. If he wanted to, he could span it with one hand. She looks a bit pale and he wonders what is wrong with her. She slowly walks down the stairs as her mother watches coldly. She trips slightly, but catches herself. "Hello, Lord Inu-yasha. I am ready to go now. I am sorry I took so long. I fainted and the maids had to find the smelling salts." She's wearing a dark green riding habit and he almost hadn't noticed that it wasn't black. He smiles at her and holds out his arm. She takes it and they walk out the door. A stable boy brings their horses.

"Where is Ginger" "I am sorry m' lady, but you are no longer allowed to ride your mare. Ye are to ride Meadow instead. It's an outrage. Ye can ride better then anyone here, yet ye have to ride Meadow, the one horse in thee entire stable that won't go faster then a quick walk and even that isn't very fast. I'm really sorry, m' lady." Inu-yasha helps a very disappointed Kagome into the sidesaddle on the gelding, Meadow. He mounts his horse and they walk their horses down the path.

"By whose order are you not allowed to ride your mare" "I really shouldn't say, but it was most likely your brother, Lord Sesshoumaru. That is where most of the orders come from." "By what right does he have to order you around" "None, except that he is a man and will be the head of my family once he marries my sister, Lady Rin." He glares angrily and growls slightly. "You said 'orders'. There has been more then one" "Of course. He's the one who forbid me from archery. The one who's decided that I was too learned, the one who decided that I was getting too chubby and is making me wear tighter corsets and go on a diet, the one who...Never mind. I believe that you understand." 'Damn! I almost told him. I have to watch what I say.' Inu-yasha looks at her and watches the play of emotions across her face. "Can't you just tell your mother what he is doing and have her make him stop" She laughs, but it's not a cheerful laugh. "Have my mother tell him to stop? Ha! She's the one that most of his orders come through. She agrees with him, she's as close to worshiping at his feet that she can get."

She looks at him sadly, then continues. "Besides, I've found it best just to accept it and do what I'm told. He's a man, and I'm a woman. I must do what I'm told and not question it." An uneasy silence evolves and they don't talk during the rest of the ride except to ask the other which path the other wants to take. They head back and reach Kagome's home. Inu-yasha dismounts, then helps Kagome down. "That was very enjoyable. Thank you." She curtsies. "Yes. It was fun. I have some business to take care of, but perhaps we can do this again sometime." She blushes slightly and nods. "Of course we can do this again. We will be married soon and all you would have to do would be to tell me and we could go riding again." She curtsies again and watches as he mounts his horse again. "Good bye Lord Inu-yasha." "Good bye, Lady Kagome." He waves and she goes inside while he gallops off.

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'I'm going to kill Sesshoumaru! How could he. He broke her spirit so good that you can't even tell that it's broken unless you know her. Oh, yeah, I almost forgot about Shippo. He probably will know something about what is going on.' He turns his horse around and makes his way back. When he gets there, he knocks on the door and Shippo answers. Inu-yasha grabs him by the tail, closes the door, and stomps back to his horse. "Okay. Talk. What has my fricken brother done to her? A what kind of trouble is she in" Shippo gets a stubborn look on his face, tightens his lips together, and shakes his head. Inu-yasha grabs him by his tail and starts shaking him. "Tell. Me. Now." "Aaalllrrright. Jjjjuuussst sssstttooopppp ssshhhhaking me." Inu-yasha has set Shippo on his horse, but keeps a good grip on the kitsune's tail as a warning.

"Okay. Your 'fricken brother' as you called him has broken her spirit. She was really cool when she was younger, but then Sesshoumaru met Rin about a year and a half ago. It started slowly at first. Little things. Like a book that she was no longer allowed to read here, and to not being allowed to go into the forest alone there. The things were so tiny that she didn't even notice her restricted freedom until he took away her archery. She fought at that. He told her that it was unlady like and that she was no longer allowed to practice it. Ever since your brother met Rin and started coming around, Kagome has had shadows in her eyes. Recently she has started to lose weight rapidly. She's lost about twenty-five pounds since three months ago. Now she's back into the corsets that she used to use when she was my age, until her mother has a chance to go with her to get new ones. It was pressing on her chest too hard and that's why she fainted earlier. It was too small on the top part of her chest."

At this, Inu-yasha blushes slightly, but Shippo doesn't notice and continues. "I don't know what kind of trouble she's in, but she almost always has a lingering trace of fear on her. She keeps a diary, but no human or youkai can open it. It's linked to her self. The only other person who has ever been able to open it was her twin, Kikyo. Nobody else can. You might be able to though. You're not human, or demon; you're both, and I doubt that Kagome thought to seal it against hanyous. Sango, her maid, would probably know where it is hidden. They are best friends, or at least I thought that they were. Kagome hasn't told Sango about the trouble that she's in. Please, don't hurt her, 'kay? She's like a second mother to me." Inu-yasha glares at the kit, then lets go of the tail. Shippo scampers off and Inu-yasha heads back to his home.