Disclaimer: I don't own Inu-yasha, much as I'd like to. The poem 'Fear' is my own work, though, so please don't use it without asking and giving me a little credit. Also, the character 'Milan' is my own creation. So, same goes as the poem. "Quotes"talking; 'I don't know what these are called'thoughts; Dear Diaryentries from Kagome's diary

Attention: To all my loyal readers, this is a revised edition and I changed a couple of minor things. Mostly just slight details, spelling mistakes, and grammar mistakes. I hope you enjoy.

Fear

Chapter Three

"What the fuck did you do to her? She has no spunk whatsoever. If I had wanted someone that would do everything I wanted, whenever I wanted, then I would pay for a whore! I'm not mating her" Sesshoumaru looks at his brother coldly. "You will mate with Lady Kagome. I have molded her so that she won't say anything if you say, stay away for a week without telling her. You can have your fun, yet you will have her at home waiting for you when you finally decide to come home. You will mate with her, she will turn into a hanyou, and she will bare your pups, period. There will be no arguments. Now leave, I am busy." "No, I will not leave, Asshole. She doesn't have any spirit and I won't mate with her." "You will mate with her. You will marry her in the human tradition, then take her back to your room and mate with her. You will leave your Mark on her, because if you don't then I will know, and she will not leave her Mark on you. For the first two weeks, you won't be allowed out of this house. I expect her to be expecting pups and a hanyou by then." Inu-yasha growls, then stamps out of his brother's study.

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Dear diary,August 4, 1501

I am sorry that I haven't written for a while. I have been busy with preparations for the wedding. Both Rin and I are getting married, together, tomorrow. Maybe if I marry Inu-yasha, he can protect me from his brother. I am nervous though. I have a sense of foreboding, though and I don't understand why. It is probably jus nerves like mother says. This will mean that, hopefully, my mother will finally consider me an adult. I wish that Kikyo was here to share this moment with me. But of course, if she was, then she would be the one marrying Inu-yasha, not me. I miss her, but at the same time, I'm envious of the freedom she had before she was killed. I would rather die free, then live trapped for the rest of my life. But, again, I am too much of a coward to take my life. Milan is telling me that it is time for me to go to sleep, according to Sesshoumaru's orders. It is still light outside, but according to him, I'm going to need my sleep. Good-bye diary. I will write again as soon as I can.

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"I now pronounce you man and wife. The grooms may now kiss the brides." Sesshoumaru bends down and kisses Rin, while Inu-yasha goes to peck Kagome on the cheek. Sesshoumaru elbows him though, and Inu-yasha misses and his lips touch Kagome's. Everybody cheers and the four newlyweds walk out of the church. They climb into their respective carriages and sit down.

Kagome is smiling brightly, the first real smile that Inu-yasha has ever seen on her face. 'I don't wan to do this, but I have to. I have to try to get her to show her spirit again.' "Sit over there. I don't want you near me right now, wench." Kagome stops smiling and looks like she is about to cry, but does what he says and sits on the other bench. A few hours later they come to a stop in order to rest the horses and to eat lunch. The door to Kagome and Inu-yasha's carriage opens and Sesshoumaru and Rin come in. Rin is bright red and her hair is a bit messy. "Kagome, go sit next to your husband like you should. I want you to sit next to him all the time. He is your husband after all." Kagome gets up and transfers to the other seat next to Inu-yasha. Inu-yasha glares at Sesshoumaru, but Sesshoumaru just raises an eyebrow. "Would you like to stay in here for a while, Lord Sesshoumaru" "Sure, Kagome. And just call me Sesshoumaru. We're family now."

"As you wish, Lo...Sesshoumaru." 'Well, he has got her trained well, doesn't he. And he's already marked Lady Rin. That's not surprising. They still smell of musk. It's revolting.' All of a sudden Inu-yasha feels a weight leaning against him. Kagome has fallen asleep and is lying against him. 'She looks so peaceful when she's asleep, but I have to do this. I'm sorry Kagome.' "Get off me. If you're going to sleep, don't sleep on me. I'm thinking." He pushes her off of him and she almost falls off the seat. Rin looks at Sesshoumaru, but he's glaring daggers at Inu-yasha. "I am sorry. I hadn't realized that I had fallen asleep on you. I'll try not to do it again." She leans against the side of the carriage and falls back asleep. After a while Rin falls asleep too, only with one big difference, she's leaning against Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru looks disgusted. What he says, he says only loud enough for Inu-yasha to hear. "Inu-yasha. What do you think you are doing" "I'm trying to get some of her spirit back. I'm not going to mate with her until she can give me a good fight. She'd never survive and you know it. I'm not going to pamper her, no matter how weak she is." After Inu-yasha finishes saying this, he crosses his arms in front of him and gets a stubborn look on his face. They finish the trip in silence.

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"We are here. Inu-yasha, your stuff has been moved to a different wing of the castle. Miroku will show you the way. "Hentai" They hear a crash as Sango hits the guy who has just groped her. "Sango, are you alright" "Yes, I'm fine. Just that pervert over there." She points to the guy who's lying unconscious on the ground in front of her. "Decided to ask me to bear his child, and after I had said no, he grabbed my arse. I think he introduced himself as Miroku." Sango then turns around and grabs hers and some of Kagome's stuff. Other people come out of the castle and start unloading the carriages. Everybody goes inside once Miroku is brought back around with smelling salts.

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Dear Diary, August 8, 1501

I am miserable, dear friend. I am restricted to the castle for two weeks. Inu-yasha hasn't even touched me. I am starting to believe that this will be a marriage in name only. And worst of all, Sesshoumaru hasn't stopped. Even though I have reminded him that I am married to his brother now, he still touches me every time he finds me alone. I wish that I had the courage to sneak out like I used to, but I am too much of a coward. I must go someone is coming in.

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Inu-yasha walks into Kagome's room and sees her hurriedly hide something. 'That must be the diary that Shippo was talking about.' "Hello Inu-yasha. Is something wrong? You almost never come into my room." "No nothings wrong. I just came to tell you that we're sneaking out and going for a ride." Her face brightens for a moment, but then she looks sad. "I am sorry, but I am not allowed out of the castle. Besides, you would be able to sneak out, but if I was with you, we would get caught. Your brother always knows when I try to sneak out." Inu-yasha looks annoyed, but walks out of the room. Kagome gets up and locks the doors, then goes back to her writing.

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It was Inu-yasha, Diary. He wanted me to sneak out with him and go riding, but it would have never worked. Sesshoumaru always knows where I am and what I am doing. I don't like it, but I accept it. I must accept it. Perhaps after a while he will tire of me. I hope that that day comes soon.

Kagome gets up and hides her diary, then unlocks the doors and walks downstairs. She meets Sesshoumaru on the stairs and immediately becomes frightened. He walks up to her and slowly brings his arms down her shoulders. "Please, I don't..." He pulls her to him and leads her to an empty room.

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"You say that you haven't seen my brother for a while and that you're worried about him? Well, I can help you there. Lets go find him. I can follow his scent." He sniffs the air and Rin and him walk up the stairs. Inu-yasha follows the scent to an empty room and they come upon Sesshoumaru and Kagome. Sesshoumaru is slowly kissing Kagome's neck, but she doesn't move. Inu-yasha can smell the fear coming off of her in waves. "You bastard" Rin has collapsed to the ground and is crying. Kagome faints when she hears Inu-yasha and Sesshoumaru is faced with a furious brother and a dead weight in his arms. Sesshoumaru can't get out of the way and Inu-yasha punches him, knocking him out. Kagome comes to and jumps out of the way before he can land on her and goes over to her sister. "Rin" "Get away from me! You're a slut! You were always getting more attention then me because of your escapades. And now, when I finally find someone that I love, you take him away! Get away from me. You aren't my sister anymore" Rin starts crying harder and Kagome runs out of the room crying. Inu-yasha wants to after her, but he can't because of Rin and his brother.

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"Kagome" Inu-yasha walks into her room and takes look around for her, but quickly realizes that she isn't there. 'Where is she?' A thought hits him and he looks around for her bows and arrows. They aren't in the room and the miko clothes that Kikyo had given Kagome as a gift are gone. "Oh no." He runs out of the castle and to the stable. "Have you seen Lady Kagome" "Yes m'lord. She left about an hour ago. She said that Lord Sesshoumaru had given her permission to ride in the forest on her horse Ginger. A very beautiful horse, Ginger is. Lady Kagome doesn't look like the type who would be able to handle a horse like that, but you shoulda seen her, m'lord. Didn't even need a saddle or a mounting block. Just jumped onto that horse and took off. It was a beautiful sight to see. I'm thinking that she might even be better at riding then you, m' lord." The stable master Myoga is still talking, but Inu-yasha is no longer listening. "What is tonight" Myoga furrows his brow, but answers. "It's the New Moon, m'lord. Would you like me to have one of your horses saddled" "No. I'm fine, but tell me when Lady Kagome comes back. She is supposed to be back by dark." "Yes, m' lord."

'Maybe Kagome left something that would tell me where she went. He walks back to the castle and goes up to her room. He starts looking around, but doesn't find anything. 'Her diary! Why didn't I think of it before? I'll just look for her scent mixed in with the scent of magic. He follows his nose and comes to the wall. He touches the wall and his hand goes through it. He walks through the wall. "I thought that her room seemed smaller. She is more powerful then I thought." He looks around the small room and sees a small box on a table. He goes to the box and opens it. He has a hard time at first, but as his youkai blood starts to wane, it opens. He takes out the book inside, opens it, and starts to read:

Dear Diary,May 1, 1497

I finally got Kikyo to sneak down to the village today. We held on to the bottom of a cart that was going to the village. Nobody even noticed we were missing. It's May Day so we had a lot of fun. We danced with all the other girls and we hid in the forest. None of the boys found us, but Sango did. We laughed for most of the day and had a lot of fun. Kikyo said that she wants to become a Miko, but I don't understand why. I guess that I'll figure it out eventually.

Kikyo helped me make a barrier so that no demon or human can find you, diary. Only Kikyo and me can get into the secret room that we made. I love my sister and she loves me. I just wish that I was liked as much as my sisters are. I'm always getting yelled at for sneaking out, or for working at my archery. According to Momma, it's unlady-like and I shouldn't be doing it. I don't get it. She never says anything about Kikyo practicing archery. Probably because she thinks that Kikyo doesn't like it and isn't very good. Momma is so easy to fool sometimes. Kikyo loves archery as much as I do and she's really good at it. She practices all the time. Especially when we go riding in the forest. She's not a very good rider, but she's getting better. I'll help her practice her Miko powers and I help her with her riding. If she wants to be a Miko, then I'll help her.

Inu-yasha skips a few pages and starts to read again. This page has a few teardrops on it.

Dear Diary,February 22, 1498

Diary, I miss Kikyo already. It's only been about an hour since I helped her run away. She didn't want to marry either that disgusting Onigumo, or that evil Naraku. We could sense their auras. Onigumo was a pervert. He was so old and he wanted Kikyo so that he could fuck her, I think that's the word that Sango used. And Naraku, he was just pure evil. He wasn't Onigumo's cousin like he claimed. He was like a hanyou reincarnation of him. He somehow was Onigumo, for all that he was no longer human. I miss her so much, but I know that she will be happy. Wherever she decides to go. Besides, Shippo has promised to take letters between the two of us so that we can keep in touch. I'll see her again one day. I know it.

He flips through a few drawings and spells that she's written down. He flips through another few pages and comes to a page that he can barely read because of the tearstains.

Dear Diary,April 2, 1499

This is Kikyo's favorite month, but it doesn't matter anymore. Shippo went to deliver a letter to Kikyo about a week ago. He came back yesterday to tell me that Kikyo had been killed by a youkai. The hanyou that Kikyo told me so much about wasn't there to protect her, but I bear him no ill will. It was not his fault that she went after a youkai the one night that he couldn't protect her. Her last message to me was that if I ever needed help, I was to go to the village that she was at when she died. I doubt that I will ever need help, but if I do, I will go there. I am going to be in mourning until Kikyo is reincarnated. I miss her and I will never stop missing her.

Inu-yasha's eyes widen a bit. 'So I know where she is at now. But why?' He flips a few more pages and starts to read again.

Dear Diary,May 22, 1499

Rin has brought home someone she met at a party. His name is Lord Sesshoumaru, but I like Fluffy better. Momma likes him a lot. I'm pretty sure that Rin and Fluffy will eventually marry. I called him 'Fluffy' to his face and he looked shocked. I'm surprised that no one has stood up to him before. He's such a cold fish. I don't get what Rin sees in him, but I might as well just ignore it like I normally do. I'm going to sneak out again. I've been digging a hole under the wall and I just finished yesterday. I'll dress like a boy and wiggle under the wall. I've never tried it before.

Dear Diary,May 31, 1499

Momma somehow found out about my dime novels. I'm not allowed to read them anymore, but I can hide them and keep reading them. The one that I'm reading right now is really interesting. It's a mystery in which an actress is traveling on a coach and gets robbed. She finds out later that the cousin she was going to meet was murdered and she has to team up with the outlaw who robbed her in the first place to solve her cousin's murder and to find her missing necklace. I'm getting even better with my archery, but I don't like Fluffy. Whenever shows up he corners me. He touches me and I don't like it, but nobody would believe me if I told. Momma likes him too much and he's really charmed my sister.

Dear Diary,June 1, 1499

I am really mad. I'm never going to find out what happens in my novel because Momma had my rooms searched. I wish that I had thought to hide them with you. But I didn't really think that Momma would have my rooms searched. I'm such an idiot sometimes. I have to go. Sango is knocking on my door. She's saying that its time for me to start getting ready for dinner. Lord Sesshoumaru's here and I have to wear a corset. I hate those stupid things. Whoever the idiot who invented them was, should be drawn, quartered, and shot. Momma thinks that I'm getting to be too chubby and has put me on a diet.

Inu-yasha flips to some of the newer entries and starts to read, but stops when he feels his transformation coming over him. He closes the diary and takes it with him. He walks out the wall and goes to his room and changes into the clothes that he had always worn whenever he went to visit Kikyo. Then he leaves.

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"Lady Kikyo? But I thought that you..." "No, I'm Lady Kagome, Kikyo's twin sister. Can you please show me to the Miko of this village" The villager looks a bit confused, but nods his head and shows her the way to a small hut on the edge of the village. "Lady! Someone is here to see you." Kikyo comes out and Kagome goes pale. "Kikyo" Kagome faints and Kikyo runs up to her sister. She brushes a hand over Kagome and she wakes up. "My sister." "Kikyo, but Shippo...He said that you were dead. Are you a ghost" "No. Come inside and I will tell you everything." She helps Kagome up and they walk into the hut.

They sit down and Kikyo begins to talk. "I went after a youkai, as you know. My arrow missed and before I could shoot another one I was almost killed. I was hurt so badly that when the hanyou that I told you about found me...Well, I was barely breathing and my heart was really slow. He thought that I was dead. The villagers picked me up and brought me back to the village while the hanyou went after the youkai and killed it." "Inu-yasha you mean." Kikyo looks a little bit surprised. "You know him" Kagome looks at her sister sadly. "I married him and Rin married his brother." Kikyo looks a bit surprised, but continues. "You are going to have to tell me what I've missed. Well, like I was saying. Inu-yasha killed the youkai, but never came back to the village. My sensei realized that I was still alive, but she didn't trust Inu-yasha, so didn't tell him that I was still alive. Once I was better, I finished my training as a Miko and I now serve this village. Now, tell me what has happened."

Kagome starts talking and she tells Kikyo everything that has happened, from when Sesshoumaru first showed up, to the touching, to him taking away her archery. Kagome told Kikyo everything. "Oh Kagome." Kikyo hugs Kagome and for the first time in a long time, Kagome starts to cry. She hugs her sister back. Suddenly they hear a commotion outside. They walk out of the hut and they see Inu-yasha. A few villagers are trying to shoot him with bows and arrows, but they aren't working.

"Where is she? Where is Kagome" He sniffs the air and looks a bit confused. He looks at the hut and sees the two sisters, but his eyes are focused on only one of them. "Kikyo" He starts to run up to her, but stops when he sees the arrow pointed at his chest. "Kikyo? What is going on." "You're an idiot, Inu-yasha. I loved you, I still do, but you and your brother hurt my sister, my twin." She glares at him and he has a betrayed expression on his face. "It's okay Kikyo." Kagome puts a hand on Kikyo's bow and pushes on it so that it's pointed to the ground, then steps in front of her. "Hello, Inu-yasha. How is Rin doing? Is she still mad at me? Are you still mad at me" He doesn't answer, but tosses a book to her. She catches it and realizes that it's her diary. "Where did you get this? How did you get this" Her aura turns bright red and starts to reach for Inu-yasha.

He takes an involuntary step backwards and shrugs his shoulders. "I'm a hanyou. Your barrier didn't stop me. I got stuck in that little room that you had made for the night." "I hadn't realized that I had forgotten it until I was already half-way here. Did you read it" She hugs her diary to her chest and her aura turns slightly less red and stops reaching for him. "Yes. I did read it. I know what happened, but nobody else does. Both my brother and Rin are locked up. Rin wanted to kill you and fledgling demon powers would have made that quite easy. They're locked in their room with ofudas around all the doors and windows."

"Oh, I guess that means that she hasn't forgiven me." She turns around and walks back into the hut. Kikyo steps forward and raises her bow again. "Get out of here Inu-yasha. I don't want you near my sister." "But Kikyo...The marriage was never consummated. I could get it annulled and we could finally get married." "Leave. Do you even realize how much stress Kagome has been under? You saw how she looked. She wasn't wearing a corset. They couldn't find one that was small enough. Mother was going to get some specially made. What you want...It would kill her. I still love you Inu-yasha, but I cannot allow you to hurt my sister anymore. She loves you and her spirit is so close to shattering...Now please, just leave already." "Okay, I'll leave, but I'm not going far." He runs out of the village and into the forest. Kikyo sighs, turns around, and walks back into the hut. "Kagome? He's gone." She looks around for her and sees her laying on a futon asleep, tears on her face. Kikyo sits down and waits for Kagome to wake up.