so,
i'm sorry that i haven't been on like,
at all.
but i had to post this
:D
thank you to lemon-of-the-tent for writing this entire chapter
(i didn't even change the spelling)
:D
-theenvylover
Then next chapter should be about how Bella runs off with Jacob the rapist
(he tells her that he has Edward trapped in a box which holds him in there by
his perfectness) and then there is some sort of heroic feat to save her, while
she sits around doing nothing. In fact, she's dead. Anyway, Edward comes at
the last minute, making her NOT dead, in fact, and then Alice and Emmett beat
up Jacob (because they are like a team and very close and really together, and
their loving partners do not matter because Alice and Emmett are way cooler),
but dont kill him, because Stephenie Meyer loves Jacob too much to kill him
and she's being a tad selfish about it. (It's like when someone has a pet dog
that goes around killing people, but the owner wont get it put down or sent to
the ponud because they like it a bit too much.) Anyway, Jacob gets beat up,
but he's still in love with Bella anyway. Bella and Edward have a
semi-romantic, yet not sexually satisfying reunion, and then someone spills
some soda (there is soda) and Esme flips out and loses control. Also, Jasper
is really there the whole time but he's just sitting in the corner, saying
really intelligent things but no one is listening because it's Jasper and not
someone who isn't Jasper, therefore he will not be payed attention to. Then,
finally, they will all go back to the Cullen's house and eat pie, because
vampires can really only eat blood AND pie. Bella will be there, because she
doesn't go home anymore (Charlie is a child abuser) and Rosalie will say
something rude to her and everyone will go "That Rose!" in an endearing manner
and she'll sneer as she goes upstairs to her evil chambers.
Then Jacob will be there at the end and he'll die anyway.
Regards
Lemon