DISCLAIMER: SAME AS LAST CHAPTER.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Uber randomness awaits you…BEWARE.

Chapter 2

"Director, I have a boyfriend already, so can we not do the porno scenes?" shouted Misa, who was nude on top of Orlando Bloom.

"You're telling me this now…? But what is your BF compared to Bloom? Just close you eyes, moan, and it'll be over in a few seconds!" cried the director, shouting into his megaphone as usual. Suddenly a random cast person got extremely horny, jumped on the bed, and hot sauce raped Misa.

Orlando Bloom put his clothes back on. "If you can't make a decent scene for a week, I QUIT." Orlando said, and then proceeded to the airport.

"MISA, YOU JUST DROVE AWAY OUR GUEST STAR FOR HAPPY, HAPPY PORN!" cried the director, who was still shouting into his megaphone, and promptly blew off the cast member who was currently licking hot sauce off Misa's body.

"But Orlando is so ROUGH…" scoffed Amane, then suddenly her phone rang in the pile of clothes beside the bed. She picked it up. "Hey Light!"

"Yeah, when are you going to be done filming?" asked Light, "We need to go over our plan again!"

"Yes! I hate our brick of a director anyway."

"HEY!"

Meanwhile Light observed the eight Yotsuba employees on the big screen. Each employee profile seemed to be rather…unusual.

HIGUCHI: A PERVERTED BASTARD THAT IS NOT KIRA. (Please note the emphasis on NOT KIRA…Seriously, I am not Kira. You cannot suspect me)

MIDO: A GUY THAT LOOKS LIKE LIGHT, BUT IS REALLY OLD.

NAMIKAWA: A PORNO STAR THAT HAS RAPED OVER 20 MILLION HOT BITCHES

SHIMURA: GUY WITH WANNABE AFRO. FUCK YOU AND YOUR BIG FLUFFY EYES.

OOI: BLACK GUY WANNABE JAPANESE. HE'S BLACK I TELL YOU BITCH!

HATORI: UM…HE'S DEAD, SO NOT THAT IT REALLY MATTERS ANYMORE.

KIDA: GUY WHO COLLECTS GLASSES. YEAH.

TAKAHASHI: THE DUMB GUY. YAYZ HIM HAHAHAHA.

"What kind of lame-ass profiles are these…?" said L, raising his eyebrows as he spooned a mouthful of ice cream and ate it.

"Yeah…it's going to be hard figuring out which of them is Kira…none of them actually have anything on their profiles that would make them stand out…" Light rubbed his forehead.

Suddenly Brian barged into the base. "SUP MAH HOMEY BITCHES!" Brian yelled, taking a swig from his tequila bottle.

"Brian…it's still Wednesday…how the hell did you get in?" Light turned and frowned.

"Easy. I hacked into the computer system, downgraded and shut down the main defensive molecular identification, killed out power from the out alert quadrant machine, and pressed the internal combustion activation sequence button…or was it explosion, I forget which." Brian finished.

"So…basically the entire upper floors are going to blow up around now?"

"YEP," said Brian, "Oh, wait, that's a bad thing…, shit."

A loud sequence of explosions, crashing, and loud flatulence suddenly sounded from above. L and Light looked at Brian.

Brian shrugged. "Sorry."