An: As always thank you so much for the kind reviews, sorry it took me so long to get up a new chapter, I think you'll really enjoy this one!
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Why wasn't she good enough? What did she not have, that every other girl in Manhatten did have? Looking in the mirror, Blair couldn't help but scowl at herself, she was simply a blimp, no wonder Chuck had done the things he'd done, she might have been a Waldorf, but she held none of the beauty traits. Running her hand over what most would call a flat stomache, she cringed. She was fat, no matter what she did, it just wouldn't go away. She wasn't good enough for him, it was plain and simple, he wanted a thin girl, not someone as beastily as herself. Clenching her jaw, her swallowed hard, tempted to rush into the bathroom and lose any contents that existed in her stomach, if there was anything that is.
Serena hadn't left her side in 3days, she'd been forced to sneak down to the guest bedroom, when she was out cold to lose the contents of her stomach, or steal some of her mothers numerous pills. It didn't matter, Eleanore was out in California, by the time she'd get back she'd have forgotten the amount of pills that where in each of the orange plastic containers.
Closing her door, she quickly pinned her hair up and walked into her bathroom, closing the door behind her as she turned on the shower. No longer was she using the facuet to hide her problems, it never seemed to drown out the pain she was in, the shower however did all the work. Kneeling against the cold tiled floor, she quickly shoved a finger down her throat and let all the contents of her stomach out multiple times, hot tears welling up in her eyes, as the acid burned at her throat, the images of Chuck and the skinny blond, running rapid through her mind.
After she could no longer take the ache, she pulled herself up and walked over to the sink immedietely rinsing her mouth out, getting rid of the sourer taste that resided within each crevice. After downing to Laxpro, she turned off the shower water and quickly washed her face, hoping that once the pills kicked in she could sleep, and forget, though for Blair, there would be no such luck. Slowly opening the door she felt the sudden yet familiar dull ache as she saw none other then Serena sitting on the bed, arms crossed and a more then pissed off look on her face. Refusing to make eye contact, she stammed over to the other side of the bed and laid down, turning towards the opposite side, she could already feel the hot tears in the corners of her eyes starting to form, she wasn't ready for another lecture, she was already hurting far to much.
"This needs to stop" Serena muttered out of the blue, after a good minute and a half of silence, her normal soft and subduded voice now rigid and stiffened. "Blair...he's just not worth it...he's Chuck Bass for god sakes...Chuck fucking Bass!...he's an asshole, always has been, and always will be. Why the hell can't you just see that?!"
"For the same reason, that you can't see Dan is nothing but a low life, from Brooklyn" Blair replied calmly, not even bothering to turn around, she was stubborn as mule. She wouldn't give in to Serena, she couldn't. She had to put up her barriers and refuse to let them all see her cry again. "...except Dan...probably wouldn't do this to you...nor would Nate" She said the sadness becoming evident in her voice "I had to pick the one guy who would...because I fell in love."
--
He'd hadn't been sober in days, nor had he left the pent house. His favorite scotch was heavy on his breath, it was his fault that he was in this situation, he just had to listen to Bart...if he hadn't...then he and Blair would be laying in bed, in Tuscany right now. Not avoiding one another like the plague, then again he really didn't know how to handle it, but knowing Blair she was either doing of one of two things, holding it in, pretending as though nothing happened, the way she'd done when Serena had returned or was doing the same thing he was doing, and drinking away her sorrows, it was the things that he wasn't sure if she was doing or not that was worrying him. Blair had this nack about her, and most times she hid when she hurting the most, doing stupid things to take away her pain without anyone knowing it. It was only when she truly hurt that her problems would start to surface and their 'gang' knew they needed to intervine, though now he knew if there was a problem, he'd be the absolute last person to know about it.
A sudden knock pulled him out of his thoughts, downing the rest of the contents from the glass, he got got up straggling to the door surprised to see none other then Nate and Serena, the last two people on earth he wanted to see, the last two people that he knew that wanted to see him. Leaning against the door, he could feel the effects of a hangover starting to come onto him, but he had to play it cool, if he didn't chances were he'd ball like a baby, and Chuck Bass, didn't ball. Not for anyone except...her.
"Nathanial...Sis" He mustered out in one of his best fake voices, a slick grin across his face
"You bast-" Nate yelled as he went to punch Chuck, Serena quickly intervinging and stopping him in time. "Do you have any fucking idea!?" He spat "Do you?!"
"Nate!" Serena yelled, her normal blue cheery eyes, turning into an icy glaze. "This is not going to help, it'll only make things worse."
Good old Serena Van der Woodsen, Chuck thought. She'd deffenitly changed her ways over the years, ever since coming back from boarding school, she'd been a completely different person in Blairs time of need for once the 'mature' one. Then again he supposed that's what best friends did for one another, him and Nate, yes they where friends, at one point best friend..but after Blair, they'd never be able to go back to the way they were, never.
"How...how is she?" He asked cautiously, as the two walked in.
"How the hell do you think she is?!" Nate once again spat at him, not even thinking about backing down. Blair...he loved Blair, and for him to just do this to her without any thought..it wasn't exceptable, it just wasn't.
"Nate...I think it'd be best if you...go make yourself a drink...or go get some air...please, your really not helping." Serena said calmly, as she sat down on the couch, crossing her legs in a posied sort of way "Please."
Reluctantly, Nate quickly left the penthouse, knowing very well that Serena was right. If he stayed any longer, chances are he wouldn't have been able to hold himself back, and one if not both of them would either wind up in the emergency room or down at the pricinct.
"...how could you do this Chuck?" Serena asked coldly, once she knew Nate was far away from hearing range "...do you have any idea...of what this is doing to her?" She questioned "I've never seen her like this, never...she's..she's so distraught, do you have any idea, do you!?"
"...I don't know what happened...Bart...he started telling me how everything would be different after this summer...we'd be different...the next thing I knew..."
"Blair was walking in on you two?...Chuck, do you have any idea how deeply in love with you that girl is? She destroyed her room, she's destroying herself. It's only a matter of time before she does something even stupider, and they'll be nothing we can do then, she's heartbroken Chuck, plain and simple."
"I never meant to hurt her Serena, you have to understand that!"
"But you did Chuck...but you did" She shook her head "Not even Nate could do what you did to her, she's never been like this before, I want my best friend back Chuck, I want my best friend back!"
"What am I suppose to do? Huh, huh?!" He spat standing up as he walked over to the liqour cabinent, that he was sure was near empty by now "I fucking love her! That girl is the best fucking thing that ever happened to me!"
"Then show her that!...You claim you love her...but yet you stay in here and get drunk, wasted and god only knows what else. You have a problem you need to fix it! You need to fix it, or something stupid will happen, and it'll only be your fault" She yelled getting up "It'll be all your damn fault, getting wasted isn't going to help anything, and if it is...then your just the guy we warned her about." She said simply as she quickly left, slamming the door behind her.
--
Her heart was racing a mile a minute, and she couldn't stop shaking, she'd tried to vomit up the heaping amount of pills she'd taken, but it'd seem to do no good, strugging to catch her breath she eased herself down on her bed as she laid back. She missed him so badly, just plain and simple, she missed his touch and his kiss, his ora in general. The solid week they'd spent together had been amazing, the talked about everything and anything, just laid in one anothers arms. They'd done nothing big, just muttered simple I love you's, taking it slow, thats what they where doing, thats what they had to do. They had to make it work this time, they had nothing going against them, or making them go faster, taking it slow worked, but truthfully she thought it must not have, if he was able to spree so fast to another girl, she must have done something wrong.
Standing outside Serena and Nate stood, listening to their best friends sobs. It was just so incredibly rare to see Blair like this, Nate had remembered the last time he'd seen her like this was when her father had left, espically after how incredibly close they'd been. Glancing up at Serena he gave a small nod, as she gripped onto the doorknob, allowing the door to open. Blair didn't even flinch, just stayed in the heap on the bed that she was. Slowly the pair walked over to the bed, each taking a side of the bed as they crawled in with her, wrapping their arms around her, simply holding her.
They could feel the heat radiating off of her, and knew something wasn't alright. Her body was shaking and she clung to them like a frightned child. It was then they knew something truly wasn't right.
"Blair?" Nate mustered as he pulled back a little, looking closely at her. She wasn't ok, health wise, something wasn't right. A sudden reality sunk in when she started to uncontrolably shake, in seizure form, her eyes rolling back in her head the whites of her eyes starting to show. "Call 911, Serena, now!" He yelled as the small brunette continously flapped in his arms "It's ok, Blair..." He whispere into her ear "We're gonna get you help, it's gonna be alright."