Thanks to all who read Chapter 1. Here's 2
Chapter 2:
Brace Yourself
Joker awoke in the medical bay of the Normandy feeling thoroughly embarrassed, and in extreme pain. Jesus Joker, what did you get yourself into? He was not awake long when Dr. Chakwas, Commander Shepard, and the same krogan were looking over him. "What the hell Commander?" asked Joker struggling to scramble away.
"Easy Joker, you've already injured yourself tonight," said the doctor.
"Pretty good shot, for a pilot," stated the krogan.
"Joker, this is Wrex. He'll be helping us stop Saren, no need to be shooting him," explained Laura.
"So I've pretty much embarrassed myself in front of several different races, and of course the people I'll be spending the next couple of months with," said Joker, shaking his head.
"I need to know exactly what is going on Joker, especially with all that's happened," said Shepard crossing her arms.
"All that's happened? Commander, either I've been out for way too long, or you've been busy in the last couple of hours."
After being filled in on the new crewmembers, Saren's evil plot, the commander's promotion to a Spectre, and Captain Anderson's relinquishing of the Normandy, Joker's head was spinning. "Now I need to know everything about my crew Joker. So what is your story?"
"I get it, you read my file, let me tell you something Commander. Those medals? I've earned them, along with my first class rank in flight school. I didn't get any pity grades because of my disease," responded the pilot, getting agitated.
"What are you talking about Joker? What disease?" queried Shepard spreading her arms out defensively.
"Don't act like you don't know. It's why I'm here now," when his commanding officer raised an eyebrow and looked at Dr. Chakwas, Joker realized his mistake. "You mean you don't know? Make that embarrassment two, Joker zero. I have Vrolik disease, brittle bones. My legs were shattering in the womb. There's no cure, but with my crutches, I've been deemed a 'functioning member of society'. My ass. Regardless, I'm the best damn pilot the Alliance has, and I don't need my legs to drive the Normandy. I could make this ship tap dance for you. Just don't ask me to dance, unless you enjoy the sound of snapping shinbones."
His mini rant finished, Joker let out a deep sigh, and gathered his crutches in order to get to the cockpit. Before he could get up the stairs, the pilot felt Shepard's hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry Joker, I didn't mean to offend you. I appreciate what you tried to do though."
"Hey, somebody has to watch your back instead of your butt Commander," teased Joker, nodding over to Alenko's post.
"Very inappropriate Jeff Moreau," Shepard jabbed back. "How did that become Joker?"
Continuing up the stairs in order to save time Joker replied, "Well, it's a hell of a lot shorter, and plus an instructor called me that one day in class, and it just kind of stuck. Something about my lack of smiles."
"Aw, and why couldn't the soon to be master pilot smile?"
"Hey, you don't get to be the best pilot by smiling like a jackass. I worked my ass off in flight school. One guess who was smiling at graduation," Joker noted.
Finally at the pilot's seat, Joker tucked his crutches under the console, and sat heavily. The pilot readjusted his new brace on his left leg, and frowned at his new accessory. Well, not my first brace, and it probably won't be my last. "So where can this dashing pilot take you Commander?"
"Artemus Tau cluster if you would Joker. Not exactly the most romantic location for a dashing pilot, but it's our destination nonetheless."
"Aye aye ma'am."
As Joker piloted the course to the appropriate relay, the Commander was busy checking on her crew one on one. The luxuries of being in the cockpit was that all conversation made their way to the pilot's ears via radio channel. Normally, the channel is used to locate a crewmember so that the pilot can contact them in the appropriate room. Joker ticked off the conversations one by one in his head. Alenko is an L2 and gets migraines, the krogan species is dying out, Vakarian hated C-Sec, Ashley wishes we had gotten to Eden Prime sooner, Tali loves the Normandy.
Eventually, Laura came to the cockpit. "Joker, can you page Wrex and Garrus for me?"
"What's the matter Commander? Your legs broken too?"
"No, that elevator is slower than evolution," replied the Commander.
"No Alenko? I'm shocked that you aren't taking your biggest fan," pushed the pilot.
"I like to rotate my crew. And as much as I would like to take you, your accuracy could use some work."
"In my defense Commander, I never really used my pistol, and I was falling," Joker reminded her.
"Excuses, excuses. How long do we have?"
"Pick a system, then a planet, and I'll let you know. Scans indicate a marked Prothean ruin on Therum in the Knossos system, so I'll suggest there."
"Sounds good, page the two, and prepare to drop the Mako on Therum. Stupid elevator."
Chuckling at Shepard's dismay, Joker returned to his console and selected Therum. Volcanic planet, high heat danger, and an asari that could be dangerous. Perfect. Once everybody and everything was in position, Joker dropped the Mako on what looked like a trail for machinery through the lava to the ruins. Perhaps a little too convenient, but it's as close as I can get them under the drop guidelines. It was once again time for Joker to orbit the planet while conducting scans so that there were no surprises for the Commander. As the Normandy scanned, Joker looked back on his conversations with Shepard.
Does she feel the same way about you as you feel about her?
Be reasonable, she has to be professional.
That flirting was not very professional right?
Just play it cool and don't embarrass yourself.
Too late for that genius.
Shut up.
Joker's musings were interrupted as his console marked several high readings around the ruins and dig site. The pilot checked on the Commander's progressed and noted that she ran into an impasse with the Mako and was disembarking. Joker clicked on the COM, "Commander, I'm getting some high readings here, watch yourself. And that debris is a little too well placed."
The radio crackled to life, "I agree. Pick up the Mako, and stay close."
"Aye Commander," he responded, and began landing the Normandy.
With the Mako back in the Normandy, Joker continued his orbiting procedures and kept up with Shepard's progress. After defeating the geth that landed at the dig site, she had entered the ruins, and continued steadily downward. It was not long when several alarms echoed throughout the cockpit from the scanners. Some sort of explosion rocked the planet underground and began shifting several of the planet's the tectonic plates.
Lava planet plus shifting plates equals eruption. Not good.
As if on cue, the radio once again crackled in on the pilot's ears. "Joker, lock in on my signal and prepare for e-vac, on the double mister."
"Yes ma'am, give me ten minutes," he replied, bracing for the worse.
"Make it five, and I'll buy you dinner."
"No dinner required Commander, see you in five." Joker wiped his brow, and began furiously deactivating the autopilot, and locking on the Shepard's signal. The Normandy arrived just as four beings exited the dig site. Everybody scrambled onboard just in time as lava began to flood the planet's surface.
In a post mission debriefing, everybody gathered in the conference room to be updated. Before the meeting could begin Joker felt the need to voice take on the mission. "For future reference Commander, try to avoid planets with lava and explosions. They tend to melt our hulls and fry our systems." The pilot waited as the rest of the crew became aquainted with Liara, the asari they had rescued. Our ship is like a peace treaty to almost every race. Except for maybe the batarians, but they're pirates and thugs. After everybody was dismissed, Joker patched Laura to the Council for a mission report, and braced for any arguments. But none came. He was amazed at how calm and cool his superior remained under the criticism of the turian councilor.
Finished with the Council, Shepard made her way over to the pilot, who was, as always, busy with his console. "So Commander, when do I get my medal? I like gold, but silver ain't bad."
"Medal?"
"Yeah, for pulling your boots out of the fire, literally."
"First of all, 'pulling my boots out of the fire' is your job," she said with a smirk. "And two, you wouldn't like getting a medal. It's a bunch of bureacrats giving speeches as you sit there."
"Yeah, and they would probably make me shave. I've been working on this baby for six months," said Joker, rubbing his beard.
"Not the beard! That would be a travesty, you look too good with one."
"Thanks Commander. Where to now?"
"Back to the Citadel, I need supplies."
"Maybe even some dinner?" queried the pilot with a wink.
"Perhaps," replied Shepard with a matching wink and smirk.
So two chapter in two days. Hoping to keep delivering good chapters. Let me know.