I own nothing, so sad... So thanks to all that have reviewed the past chapters. Once again, excuse any switched letters! Sorry!

Chapter 4:

Feros

In between checking on the crew and actually piloting the Normandy, Joker spent the remainder of his time learning as much as he could about Feros. Always better to know what you're getting yourself into. No use in getting killed as soon as we land. The plot learned that Feros was once a Prothean planet, and that many of the buildings still stood. Instead of rebuilding entirely, the new colony that was recently established just moved into the already established architecture. The colony was growing with the help of a company called Exo-Geni. Until the geth attacked. What do they want on Feros?

"Doing your homework Joker?" asked Laura as she settled into the pilot's chair. "Learn anything interesting?"

"Another test? I thought I graduated years ago."

Shepard snatched the files on Feros as Joker went back to his piloting. "Prothean city, new colony, Exo-Geni. I don't see what the geth would want here to launch such an offensive. "

"Maybe they just want to wipe out humanity, and the colonists put up a fight. It's not like Saren of the geth to give up," noted Joker.

"I guess we'll find out in…?"

"Ten minutes Commander. Who's going with you this time?"

"Decisions decisions. I think I'll take Alenko and Dr. T'Soni."

"Dr.? Oh, Liara? Got enough biotic power there Commander?" queried Joker as Shepard got up from the chair next to him.

"I'm proficient enough at hacking and electronics, but I lack biotic defenses and attacks. Those powers work extremely well against the geth, and Alenko also provides Alliance firepower," reasoned Laura.

"Sounds good Commander," said Joker as Laura went to leave. "And Commander?"

"Yes Joker?"

"Be careful."

"I always am."

"Wow, talk about cliché Commander," teased Joker.

"Was it that bad?" asked Shepard holding in a laugh.

"It was really bad."

"Just page Liara and Kaidan to the airlock," said Laura as she went to her locker to get her supplies.

Joker did as asked, and entered the atmosphere of Feros. He was not surprised when he received nothing on the COM channels and no orders for a particular dock. I would not be surprised if the geth knocked out communications or if the colony is on radio silence. Once docked, and the shore party gathered around the airlock, Joker punched the door button, and brought the HUD camera monitors online.

The pilot received static for his troubles, and he pressed the button to contact the Commander. "Ma'am? Can somebody bring their HUD online?" Five seconds passed, and Shepard's camera came up on screen. The party barely exited the Normandy when a person stopped them from getting any closer. Geth fighters that entered from the nearby staircase instantly killed him. Poor guy never had a chance. Joker hit the record button and went to visit Dr. Chakwas.

"Hello Jeffery," said the good doctor, turning away from her work. "Come for something in particular, or just a visit?"

Joker hobbled over to the nearby examination table, and sat. "How about a cure?" sighed the pilot, referring to his disease.

"Sorry, but no. I don't know if other races have a cure, but as of now, the Alliance and humans are still working to find cures to several diseases," replied Dr. Chakwas. "But seriously, are you here for something? Is there anything you need?"

"I would like to get this brace off my leg, if you don't mind," requested Joker pointing to his brace he received from his Flux incident.

"Certainly Jeffery, it should be fine now," she said, as she carefully removed the device. While this would have taken seconds for any normal patient, this process actually took roughly a half hour.

With the bothersome brace finally off, Joker began slowly making his way towards the steps. He was halfway to reaching the steps, when the elevator opened and Tali stepped out. "Hey Joker, visiting Dr. Chakwas?"

"Yep, and you?" he queried back.

"Just looking to explore. The Normandy is truly an amazing ship," said the quarian as she looked around some more.

"If you want I can give you a tour, but it'll be a little slow," said Joker, adjusting his crutches to prove his point.

"Sure."

Joker proceeded to give Tali the tour of the Normandy. Since they were already on the second floor, Joker started with the medical bay, the sleeper pods, and Shepard's quarters.

"Shepard actually sleeps?" inquired Tali.

"I know, amazing."

Continuing up the steps, Joker pointed out the navigation map and its complimenting computers. This was followed by the heat computers that made sure that the Normandy would not overheat and to dump the appropriate amount of heat in order to remain stealth. "And of course the all-important pilot's chair," said Joker. "Nothing could happen without an excellent pilot."

Tali's laugh was slightly mechanic, but still pleasant, "Of course Joker."

After being careful not to fall down the steps, Joker pushed the elevator button. After waiting several minutes, the pilot began to grow impatient. The best ship the Alliance has, with the slowest elevator ever. Let's hope that nothing hinges on getting to the third deck quickly. It finally opened, and the duo shuffled in and awaited the equally long trip back down. The third deck tour included the Mako, the drop off door, Ashley's table, and then they stopped at Wrex.

"And here my friend is Wrex, a krogan. Notice his giant hump, the scaly skin, and of course the impressive but unseen four testicles!" Here, Tali could not decide if Joker was hilarious or disgusting, and so let out a mix of laughter and gagging.

Wrex pushed off of his leaning post and eyed the pilot. "I might seem weird to you humans, but to my people, the humans are the freaks."

Sobered by the scathing comment, Joker escorted Tali to the engine room. "I hope you enjoyed your tour of the Normandy provided by Joker's Guided Tour. Not to be confused with Guided Tours by Joker." The pilot left to the snickers of Adams and Tali and hobbled up the steps after enduring yet another elevator ride. As he settled into his chair, Joker was about to raise his console out of sleep mode, when there was clawing and pounding on the Normandy's hull. Clicking an exterior camera, the pilot saw that colonists were the culprits.

Remaining calm, Joker contacted the Commander and informed her of the current situation. "Joker, be sure not to harm the colonists no matter what. Just keep them away if you can."

"Aye ma'am," he responded, and flicked on the shields. With the HUD cameras visible once more, Joker watched as Laura employed a grenade that released a gas that seemed to snap the colonists out of some sort of stupor. After watching the leader of the colony kill himself, Joker gasped as he saw what the mission log noted as the Thorian. The bulbous creature kept cloning an asari that utterly disgusted Liara. The party was able to find the creature's weak spot, and began attacking the nodes that attached the behemoth to the giant chamber. With the last node detached, the creature plummeted to its death.

What came next absolutely baffled Joker. The asari was actually a prisoner given by Saren to the Thorian, and apparently the turian and the geth wanted to eliminate the creature to cover their tracks. The green asari then wanted to give Laura what was called the Cipher in order to understand her vision from the Eden Prime beacon. The HUD camera shook violently as the asari shouted, "Embrace eternity!" Joker tensed in his seat until Shepard ceased shaking and kept talking.

Letting out his held breath, Joker wiped his brow and waited until the shore party arrived back on the Normandy. The crew once again gathered in the conference room to review the mission. Joker watched, as Liara shouted the same thing the Thorian's servant had said with the same effect. Shepard began shaking, and her eyes started to roll to the back of head. It was over quickly after it started and Liara looked exhausted. It seemed that it depicted the Reapers destroying the Protheans.

With the crew dismissed, Joker connected his Commander to the Council. To Joker, each member of the Council seemed to be on varying degrees of the good vs. evil spectrum. The salarian councilor seemed to hold the view that nothing mattered but the mission. He held the opinion that the Thorian needed to be exterminated. Meanwhile, the turian member wanted her to save the Thorian in order to study it. Is he crazy? Look what happened to Exo-Geni. The asari member seemed to want to stay neutral. I guess that having different opinions helps to make sure that nothing is too easily agreed upon.

After ending the communication and filing the mission logs, Joker waited until Laura came up and took her usual post mission seat in the seat next to him. "Now that was an interesting mission," noted Joker.

"Oh? I was under the assumption that you were busy giving a tour," teased Laura.

"Hey, I had my communicator with me in case of emergencies," reasoned Joker.

"Well now you can have Tali do the tour. If we needed to leave in a hurry we would have had problems," replied Laura turning serious.

"Understood Commander. It won't happen again."

Laura's expression softened and she put her hands behind her head. "I think we should go back o the Citadel, and get some rest. Just for a day, you know, to recharge."

"As you wish Commander, but I was under the impression that we were pressed for time," replied the pilot, giving her a look with a raised eyebrow. "I think you want another date with your dashing pilot."

Laura laughed heartily, "First, Saren's plans have stalled because we are on to him, and his Spectre status was revoked. Second, what if I do?"

"I'm just making sure, because I'll need about an hour to change."

"Come as you are Joker, I will too. Get us to the Citadel mister dashing pilot."

Joker gave a smirk and began the lift off procedures. Despite his lack of serious alone time with Laura, the pilot appreciated that she took the time to personally request their next location.

I guess I'm more entertaining than the navigational map.

Come on, she digs you.

What about all the regs?

Hey stupid, she's a Spectre now.

Do I really have a shot?

Hey, none of that. Be yourself and things will be fine.

Really think so?

I am your inner thoughts smart one.

Right.

Chapter 4 has arrived. Tell me what you liked, disliked, and of course any corrections.