Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect. (Wish i did though)

Disappointed with the lack of reviews for the last chapter. Oh well! Here's chapter 5. Enjoy!

Chapter 5:

Third Time is The Charm

With Shepard already off of the Normandy, Joker hobbled to the medical bay to get help changing from Dr. Chakwas. "So, Joker," said the doctor, pausing for dramatic effect. "Getting ready for your big date?"

Joker was not one to ask for help with his disease, but he was willing to sacrifice his ego for getting to spend more time with Shepard. "I don't know how big of a date it is, but yes, I do need help," he stated slowly peeling off his shirt. Even getting his shirt off was a problem for the crippled pilot. Without his arms in his crutches, Joker had to stay completely still to avoid damage. After getting the blue shirt halfway up but getting stuck, he sighed and pulled it back down, and sat on the examination table. This is why I don't change all the time. With help from Dr. Chakwas, Joker was had his pants halfway off when Liara walked in from the back room. Luckily Dr. Chakwas did not jump; otherwise, things good have gone poorly.

"Oh, excuse me," said the asari turning a deeper blue. "I was not aware that the two of you were engaging in the human mating process."

"Whoa, wait a minute. No offense Dr. Chakwas, but I have no interest in 'mating ' with you," said Joker defensively looking back and forth between the human and the asari nervously.

"I must have misinterpreted the situation," replied Liara turning even darker. "I'm so awkward around people, especially around humans. It's just that, usually when two beings disrobe each other, it leads to something…intimate."

"Actually, Joker needs help changing," stated the doctor rather bluntly.

"Oh? I was not aware he needed assistance," said the asari walking closer. "You seem to pilot the Normandy fine Joker."

"It goes like this," started Joker. Here we go. "I have Vrolik disease, brittle bones, my legs break and crack all the time. But of course, I don't need my feet to drive the Normandy."

"Is there no cure?" questioned Liara eyeing Dr. Chakwas.

"Not that the Alliance has," said Dr. Chakwas, resuming her assistance with Joker. "I have no idea about any of the other races."

"I am unsure if we asari have a cure for such a disease, but I will be sure to look into it."

Joker gratefully nodded his head and smirked at Liara. After another fifteen minutes, Joker was changed into fresh clothes and began climbing the stairs. In another fifteen minutes, I might be at that damn airlock. Finally out of the Normandy, Joker punched the descent button on the C-Sec elevator, when Ashley slipped in the door. "Here to warn me again?" asked Joker.

"Listen hotshot, you only get one warning. If a second warning were needed, your leg would still be in that brace. Besides," she said, softening her voice. "You seem to be hitting all the right buttons Joker. Just like you do on the Normandy."

"If only women were as easy to control as a ship," stated Joker, rubbing his face.

"But where would the fun be?" teased Ashley. "Half of the challenge is trying to figure us out," she finished with a wink. At that, the elevator door slid open and the bustle of C-Sec met the two's eyes and ears.

Letting out a whistle, Joker stepped out from the elevator. Apparently, Joker did not step quickly enough, and was promptly bumped into by a gruff looking turian. Luckily, the pilot was able to recover in time to catch himself with his crutches before tumbling to the ground. Another reason to avoid crowds. As if I didn't get enough stares from having crutches, now I get bumped into and people stare some more.

After safely getting to the rapid transport system, Joker once again punched the button for Flux. I get the feeling I've done this before. Let's hope that this time I don't have to fight some thugs. Once at Flux, Joker was pleasantly surprised to Laura waiting for him this time at the same able. With a smile, the pilot took a seat across from his Commander. "So here we are again Commander."

"Joker, you can call me Laura when we're off the Normandy," said Shepard, laying her hands on the table.

"Okay Laura, what is like to be a Spectre?" asked Joker, eyeing her.

"Daunting really. Before, the Alliance was depending on me for simple missions. Elysium came to me. Now, I got all the races to protect, and this is no run of the mill mission. We actually are saving the galaxy this time."

"I here ya Comm- uh, Laura. Does it ever freak you out?"

Laura sighed heavily, "At first it did. But now, I just try and do what I feel is right."

Joker leaned closer, "What if it isn't the right choice?"

"I can only hope that I've made the right choice, and if I didn't," the Commander let out a breath. "Then I guess we're stuck with that decision."

"Kinda makes you see things from Udina's point of view," chuckled Joker.

"Udina's an ass. He means well, but the way he goes about things makes humanity look like spoiled children," replied Laura pulling on her shirt. Complimentary drinks came, and Laura murmured her thanks.

Joker held up his glass to his date, "To you Commander. May you always follow rule number one, and kill the enemy before they kill you."

Laura shook her head as Joker took a swig, "No Joker, to you. May you always pilot the Normandy to victory," to this, Laura drank her glass.

And may I get the girl, thought Joker.

After a light dinner, zero alcohol after the toast, and more shameless flirting, the two were ready to return to the Normandy. Let's hope our return to the Normandy is easier this time around. Normally I would complain about walking, but she's worth it. No sooner had Joker thought these thoughts, when the same two thugs that attacked them last time, emerged from the shadows. This time however, they wielded Tsunami X assault rifles. Crap, I don't think my crutches are going to cut it this time.

"Well, well, well, looks like the same pilot who thinks he's a tough guy still hangs around Flux," said the shorter one.

"And it looks like the high and mighty Commander Shepard has taken pity on him, and gave him another date," sneered the other.

"Hey baby," said the first, taking a step towards Laura. "Why don't you date real man like me, or my friend here?"

The second started to laugh louder and more dramatically than necessary. Taking advantage, Joker used his right crutch to knock the deadly assault rifle away, followed by the left to the man's gut. Unfortunately, this was not enough to disable the thug. Smirking, the delinquent grabbed the crutch, and snapped it in half. Joker was forced to balance on one leg before the other thug drove his assault rifle into his skull. Joker crumpled to the floor, several bones crunching on the way down.

The degree of pain caused Joker's body to slip into unconsciousness. As he was blacked out, Laura went to work. As the two thugs laughed over the crippled man's situation, Shepard took her pistol she had hidden and knocked the taller one out cold. As his companion crumpled, the other turned, and received a high kick to his face. The thug's head hit the wall and he slumped to the ground.

Joker awoke in the medical bay in the Normandy. Not again. I have got to stop going to Flux. When Laura's face popped into view, Joker's mood lightened considerably. "I thought I had him."

Laura chuckled and shook her head, "Yeah, you had him, but there were two."

"You couldn't at least hold the other guy back?" queried Joker, feeling strangely happy despite his situation.

"I thought you had them too, considering your track record," Laura egged on.

"I don't think they were drunk this time."

"Definitely not."

"Now Commander," said Joker.

"Yes?"

"Why am I so happy? I know my legs are broken," Joker asked, pointing to his legs for emphasis.

Dr. Chakwas chimed in, "Morphine is an excellent drug."

"Indeed it is good doctor. In fact, it is a very familiar friend."

"I think I made it worse," admitted Laura sheepishly. "The thugs I disabled kind of fell on your legs."

"Peachy," groaned Joker. "So Dr. Chakwas, how long am I out? There aren't braces strong enough to hold me up now, and the Normandy is not exactly wheelchair friendly."

"I believe I have a solution," said Liara sheepishly from the door to the other room.

"Oh yes," said Dr. Chakwas. "Liara believes that she has found a solution."

"A solution?" asked Laura.

"As in a medical solution?" queried Joker excitedly. "A cure? For Vrolik disease?"

Liara did not respond, but timidly stepped towards the pilot looking at the floor. When she was close enough to Joker, the asari finally spoke, "This may not work. The steps that I researched were for similar cases. I will first mend your bones, and then attempt to permanently strengthen the bones. This will either only mend your bones similar to a cast, or mend your bones and make them normal."

The three humans in the room raised an eyebrow, and looked to each other in disbelief. They were waiting for something specific to happen, or preparations to be made, but Liara simply closed her eyes and gently placed her hands on Joker's legs. The asari leaned her head back, and shouted, "Embrace eternity!" Liara's eyes snapped open, and turned black.

Joker grimaced as he felt his bones slowly move back into place. The pilot was not sure that he knew exactly what was going on, but he could have sworn, that his bones were growing to meet each other in their proper place. What would have taken months, took minutes. Towards the end, Joker felt his bones become heavier than he was used to, and he took this as a sign that things were working. Liara's head snapped back down, and her eyes slowly closed. When they opened once more, they were the normal shade of blue once more.

"Well?" asked Dr. Chakwas and Laura together.

Joker shrugged, and slowly shimmied to the edge of the examination table as the asari moved. Joker tentatively placed both feet on the ground, and stood slowly. Joker looked around to see if everybody was in safe catching distance should the worse happen. And for the first time, Joker took steps without his crutches. The tem miniscule steps brought applause from the occupants in the room.

"Very nice," rumbled Wrex from the door to the mess hall. "Now if we can teach him how to actually shoot, maybe he could be more useful in the field."

Ashley pushed the krogan from the door, "You're an ass Wrex. Congratulations Joker, you deserve it."

"Yeah Joker," chimed in Alenko, his face coming into view. "Good job Liara," he said flashing a thumbs up, to which the asari blushed.

Next in the doorway were Garrus and Tali. "A nice resourceful technique," commented Garrus.

"Given more time, I'm sure I could have constructed something for you Joker, but I guess that's not necessary now."

"Were you all really pulling for me?" asked Joker incredulously, shaking his head.

"You may be an ass Joker," said Laura, stepping closer. "But you're a lovable ass."

"Commander?" asked the pilot.

"Yes Joker?"

"You're standing on my foot."

Please review now that you have read this far. Should I continue? Yes? No? A hint would be nice.