"I can't fucking stand this!" A head with messy silver hair yelled out, before spitting dirt out of its mouth. Hidan, or rather Hidan's head, had been separated from his body and buried close to two and a half years ago.
"I don't have anyone to talk to but myself and I'm fucking BORED!" He continues to complain, violet eyes glaring at a worm that slowly digs through the dirt. "You want to hear a secret?" Hidan's head asks the worm. Clearly he must be desperate to talk to someone. Anyone. The loneliness is torture for even the most deadly of criminals. Then again, maybe his mental state wouldn't have been so bad had he not been able to feel his physical state as well. Though his head was separated from his other limbs, he could still 'sense' the rest of his body, as well as the dull ache that came with having so many open wounds. (Though as well all know, the pain wasn't the worst part for Hidan.) What was really bad was that he was close enough to his torso to feel all his organs. He felt his heart still pumping away, (slowly,) and he could feel his stomach, turning and knotting, hunger clawing desperately at its inside. Hidan groaned loudly.
"I really regret 'dying' how I did. I mean, not just because I was dismembered by a fucking kid, but…I just wasn't done in this life. I was expecting to still be on earth traveling around with Kakuzu right now, not eating dirt and talking to worms." He mumbles, averting his eyes and looking away from the worm that continued to slither past him.
"Man…what I'd do to get out of here…" He whispers. "I sure as hell wouldn't go back to Akatsuki…I mean if it wasn't for Akatsuki and that dumb-ass Leader of ours I would never have had to battle those Konoha nin. I mean, I never really gave a shit about those stupid 'tailed beasts' to begin with. I was happy the way things were! And it's Leader's fault that Kakuzu is…" Hidan's voice trailed off. Even two and a half years after the life changing battle with Shikamaru Nara, Hatake Kakashi, and the others, he was still finding it difficult to accept that Kakuzu had died.
"The fucking bastard lied to me. He told me he was immortal. Those fucking hearts should have kept him alive." Hidan complained bitterly, barely pausing before continuing on with his next rant.
"No, I wouldn't go back to Akatsuki…I'd continue to travel with Kakuzu and help him collect his bounties." He sighed, and closed his eyes. He was silent for a long time, which was unusual for such a loud mouth such as the deadly zealot. The silver haired man didn't have a lot of time to sulk however, as suddenly his eyes sprung open.
"What the…hell?" He gasped. He could have sworn he felt, or rather sensed that someone was moving his limbs, particularly his torso.
"WHAT THE FUCK? LEAVE ME ALONE YOU BASTARDS! LEAVE MY BODY PARTS WHERE THEY ARE! DAMN IT! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Hidan began to scream again, and the worm crawled away.
--
"Two and a half years…" The man sighed. "It took me two and a half years…" He muttered, lifting the torso of a certain Jashin-worshipping zealot from a deep hole in the ground and carefully, (Okay, not so carefully,) tossing it in a huge, bulging burlap sack next to him. After doing so, he paused, counting how many heartbeats he felt in his chest.
One…two…three…four…
Good…they're all healthy. I was afraid they wouldn't accept my body. He thought, before hoisting the sack onto his shoulders and continuing on.
Author's Note: Alrighty! Chapter two is out there right away! Thanks Florence Exander! Much luffs! Hope you guys are enjoying so far. I know the story isn't too exciting so far…but it will get better. And just so you know, I don't think this story is going to be a long, ongoing plot. It's probably going to be a story made up of mini-plots. I'm not quite sure yet, but I figured I should warn you guys now incase you were expecting something else. Thanks!