20 minutes ago

He was standing in his kitchen, a glass of scotch in his hand; it looked like he, too, took up drinking to get rid of everything. He didn't like hurting her, but he didn't know what to do. His job was his life; it was one of the few things that he had let himself get attached to over the years. And now, it was causing all of these problems for him, and for her. Then again, he never would have met her without the lab….

A knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts and he placed the cup on the counter, heading towards it. It was almost eleven at night and, for once, he didn't have to go into work; tonight was when he needed to catch up on sleep, and there was someone here? When he looked in the peephole, he found Brass, a worried expression on his face. Please, no extra cases tonight. He sighed and opened his door, not saying anything, but letting him come in.

"DUI," Brass said as he closed the door, getting a confused look from Grissom. "Sara. Sara she got a DUI tonight, so you might want to stop drinking," he said as Gil picked up the glass of Scotch. "She needs you, Grissom, and you need her, even if you don't want to admit it. Either way, you need to go to her. It's either you or Ecklie, and I think you'd be a lot easier on her, and I don't really want him to use this as a reason to fire her." Okay, so maybe he just wanted Grissom to see the mess that he made, but what he was saying was true. Conrad Ecklie would use anything to get Sara fired.

"Sara got a DUI? Who in the hell was letting her drive, anyways?" He could act like he didn't care later, but this was something important, he figured, as he grabbed his keys, stopping at Brass. "Why was she drinking?"

"Yeah, she did and I think that the guys were with her, but they left long before she lost it." He shook his head, knowing that they'd all pay for it later; he knew Grissom. "And why do you think, genius? I mean, same reason you're drinking, I suppose. Broken heart, confused, hurt…"

Whatever else he said, he didn't hear—he was already out of the door, heading for his car. How the hell did this happen? Why didn't she talk to him? He stopped that thought before it even finished; he knew why and it was because he wouldn't talk to her. He used all of his effort and avoided her, just so he didn't have to talk to her. He couldn't loose his job over her, even if she was everything to him.

He drove with no music, no talking, only his thoughts going on and on about this. What they hell was he going to say? 'Oh, hey, Sara; don't get yourself drunk over me. We are never going to be anything, my lab is everything.' Yeah, that would so make her quit drinking.

When he arrived at her apartment, he just sat there for a moment, not knowing what to say or do. He knew he had to go soon or she'd be asleep, or drunk. He knew her too well. Brass telling her to stop drinking wasn't going to stop her if it was what she was going to do.

When he finally got up the stairs and knocked on her door, all he heard was 'I hate you,' and then crying. Oh, shit; was that directed at him, or…Yeah, there was no one else that it could be directed to. He knocked on the door, waiting for an answer. "Sara, open up, please." No answer. "Sara?"

He waited a few moments before opening up the door himself, finding only a spilt beer. He was quiet when he heard running water and crying from her bathroom. He sighed and headed towards the bathroom, finding that the door was already open. "Sara?" he asked, hearing her cries stifle, but they didn't stop.

Slowly, and carefully, he grabbed a towel and opened the shower to find her crumbled in the corner, the cold water running on her face. He tried to move fast since her lips were purple and her teeth were chattering, but he found himself staring at her. God, she was beautiful,and she was completely off limits—that was just his luck!

The shampoo was still in her hair and he moved the water so that it hit her head for just a few seconds, washing away the rest of the soap. It made her teeth chatter and him cringe. "I am sorry, Sara," he whispered, turning off the water and wrapping a towel around her and picking her up. He knew that she was light, but never this light. She wasn't eating again.

Sara, even in his arms, was still crying. It hurt. It hurt too bad to deal with all of this now; she couldn't do this at the moment. He was just taking her out of the water so that she didn't get sick. If she was sick, she couldn't work for them. Still, as he went to put her down, she clung to him, not wanting him to leave. Even if he didn't want her, she still wanting him, and she didn't want to let go. When she did, he'd just leave and blow it off tomorrow, punishing her by paperwork. He was too blind to see that this was all about him.

Grissom didn't know what to do as she clung to him. He wanted to hold her but it was all too tempting. But, if he didn't talk to her and fix this, they'd bring in Ecklie and then they'd both be screwed. So, he sat on the bed, holding onto her, rocking her back and forth gently. "Sara, please don't cry," was all he managed to say. He could have said that he was sorry, he could have kissed her, asked something, but he had to ask her not to cry, and that just made her cry harder. "I'm sorry," he said and that just made it worse for him. He was saying sorry for the wrong reasons.

He was saying sorry asking her not to cry and, in turn, making her cry again. That didn't cut it, though. He needed to say sorry for making her cry in the first place. He needed to tell her how much he wanted her, how much he needed her, and how sorry he was for neglecting her. He needed to tell her his fears of loosing the lab, and his greatest fear of loosing her forever, but he didn't. After all, he was Gilbert Grissom, and he didn't tell anyone anything.

After a while, her tears stopped, but she still clung to him. When she let go, he'd leave her again. She knew that she was hurting herself more by holding onto him, but she couldn't help it. She'd been chasing him for years and this seemed to be the closest they'd ever been. But this was the only time and the last time she was going to let this happen. She couldn't handle heart break anymore.

He kept a hold on her, wanting him in her arms, but not knowing how to say it. He was careful not to think anything, fearing that he would act on it.

He held her for a few moments before pushing her hair behind her ear and making her look up at him, her brown eyes wide from the simple but intimate gesture. "Why, Sara?" he asked her. He needed an answer. Brass was wrong, he wasn't him. It had to be something else. "And why were you just sitting there in the shower? You could have drowned," he said, real emotion hitting his voice—fear.

"Because it hurts, Grissom, and I don't want to hurt anymore. Loving you fucking hurts and love's not supposed to hurt!" She wasn't going to cry again. She was stronger than that. "And I am sick of feeling like this; I am sick of you not caring about me! I gave up everything for you and you don't even care!" She was trying to pull away now and only succeeding in making her towel fall, and he didn't even bother to cover her up, but held her close as she tried to get away from him.

"Who said I don't?"

"No one needs to, Grissom; it shows."

please review and thanks for the ones i have already gotten.