-1She noticed the change the second that he said they needed to get something to eat. Still, she agreed. She nodded and stood up, going into her small kitchen. "What do you want?" she asked him.

He followed slowly behind her, trying to justify why he did that. He should have kissed her, he should have done something, but it wasn't going to happen. They were Sara and Grissom, after all. One step forward and they would move two backwards. "How about I cook? I have tasted your food Miss. Sidle, and I don't want to do that again."

His comment earned him a glare but she agreed and moved out of the kitchen. They settled together on a vegetarian omelet.

When it was done, he placed it in front of her. They sat at the table, both of their heads at works.

She wanted to know why he didn't kiss her. It wasn't morning breath, she brushed her teeth. Normally a kiss came before love, right? Why was everything with them so backwards?

He wanted to know the same thing, but he had a basic answer. He had cold feet. Sure, he knew that he needed to grow up, get some balls, and then kiss her, but that meant that letting her in even more. He told her everything emotionally, but nothing physically. He held her and that was it. Nothing more, he told himself. They needed time. They needed to make everything okay.

He wasn't stupid. He knew that if he kissed her, something else was going to happen. They had years of foreplay. The brushes, the everything and now the other knew everything that the other kept inside. A kiss would be…it would be so much more than a kiss.

"What are you thinking about? I have been saying you name for a few minutes," stated Sara, twirling her fork between her thumb and index finger.

"Oh, sorry, I was thinking, obviously." I am such a geek, he thought, shaking his head which gave earned him a look from Sara. "Oh, sorry," he said again. Shit, why couldn't he talk? "I was just thinking about nothing and then again everything," he said. He wasn't going to say he was thinking about kissing her. "What about you? You seemed quiet for a while, as well."

"Oh. I was thinking about why you hadn't kissed me yet," she said with a small smile. She was blunt. She wasn't going to keep it in. "Why haven't you?"

Did she know that was on his mind? No, she couldn't. Well, maybe he could. She seemed to know him better than anyone and that was just from watching. They never really did anything and they didn't talk, not anymore. She just watched, never touching. Close but never touching. Hmm, that seemed to be how they were. Close but never allowed to touch..

"Grissom? Are you going to answer me?" Sara's annoyed voice entered his thoughts making him smile a little.

"Yeah, I am, sorry." That was the third time that he had said he was sorry. "Erm. Well. I don't really know if it is a good idea, Sara." She gave him another look meaning that he needed to explain himself. "I mean, I don't know if it is a good idea because that means so much more. That means physically as well an there is not telling where that could lead and I don't know. I don't want to rush things, Sara; I don't want to hurt you again."

"Well, I want you to kiss me, Gil." She use his first name on purpose, as an advantage, she hoped. The word felt foreign on her tongue, but familiar at the same time. "If something happens, it happens. I mean, we are two adults, Gil, and you said that you love me, so it shouldn't matter."

The look on his face was clear, though. It mattered. He didn't want to risk it. He didn't want to start something that he couldn't finish. He was so…so old and it was times like his that he wished he was younger.

"Oh," she said simply before standing up, bringing her dishes to the sink.

A/N: I know that it took me forever to update! Well, life took hold and I had my birthday and all that good stuff. I had a hard time writing his chapter, so I am thinking of closing this fanfic soon, I will admit. I have a cute ending for it, I believe. I don't want to add any cases because I am no that creative.

But, anyways, I am looking, at the moment, someone to co-write a story with. It would help if you are good with grammar and ideas. Also, not afraid to push me 'cause I get lazy and I know. Also, a beta. I don't have one and I have a lot of mistakes, I know, and they need to be fixed. So, send me a message, please. (:

Hugs and love,

PORSHA !