A LITTLE NOTE HERE IF YOU CAN FIND IT LISTEN TO THE SONG BLOOD ON MY HANDS FROM THE DARK KNIGHT SOUND TRACK WHILE READING THIS.
Blood on my own hands…his and mine…
He had not meant for it to become this fucked up…he thought, stupidly, that he had everything under control. Every tie that lead back to his former life to ICA, had been severed, easily, willingly, without a second thought, or a fleeting glance. He had cast aside his bloody past, and walked the treacherous path in an uncertain present which twisted its way into an even bloodier future.
He had made mistakes before, but those had been different, he only had to guard his own ass from being riddled with bullets if he fucked up then he was the one who paid the price. Back then his blood had been spilled on many occasions because he had been foolish, arrogant, or impatient. But as time had passed he had been able to free himself from the restraints of idiotic oversight. He had learned to become a silent assassin, to watch his victims, to know their weaknesses, and finally determine how to lethally annihilate them without spattering their brains across the walls in a hail of hot brass.
His life had not mattered to him then and still didn't matter now, his life was worthless to him, if he made a fatal flaw and was slain for it then so be it. This was why he almost gave his life for Ed, because Ed's life mattered, would always be held to higher esteem then his would ever be.
This was why, as he had lain dying in a tepid pool of blood, and shattered glass that he almost lost himself to the abyss of death, gladly paying the toll for Ed's life with his own. But just as he was about to be swallowed by that welcoming blackness, he had been hauled back into a world full of bright lights and vivid, agonizing pain. For the briefest of moments he had thought that he had been cast into the Inferno by a vengeful archangel for not holding true to his promise on guarding Ed.
He had tried to speak, to repent for his sin, but the face peering down at him was not that of a sneering demon, but rather it was a face swathed in white. A burning glare of a flashlight seared across his vision, and he had tried to open his mouth only to find that he couldn't, panic began to pitch through him and he arched his back. But he was strapped down, unable to move, he fought his restraints, almost screaming, choking on the tube that had been shoved down his throat.
The doctor drew away from him and he felt a sharp sting in his arm
…then nothing.
When he opened his eyes again he was in a hospital room, the steady beeps and whirs of monitors spinning their mechanical song against his ears. On the bedside table next to him was a cell phone so slim that he at first he didn't notice it until it started to vibrate. With agonizing slowness he reached for the device already knowing whose voice he was going to hear on the other side.
Now, he sat beside lover's hospital bed his fingers entwined with Ed's, who had not woken since he had been brought in, half dead and barley breathing. He was lucky paramedics had come when they did, during the chaos of the explosion's Ed had been shot twice in the chest. And while Gin had been guarding his body the redhead's lungs had been slowly filling with blood.
There had been long, intense hours that had seemed to have stretched into eternity as Ed repeatedly crashed and was revived. The surgeons had decided to induce a coma, so that his whole body could heal properly, so he didn't have to deal with the pain.
That had been four days ago.
The blond bowed his head and gently kissed the heirs long fingers. Tightly clasped in his other hand were Ed's dog tags,
"I know you wont…understand this Ed…,"
He swallowed thickly opening his mouth then closing it as grief tightened its vicious hold around his throat. He ran his thumb along Ed's index finger fighting to find the right words,
"Remember when I said...I said…that…that I jus…couldn't risk you?
Unshed tears, that were too proud to fall, glistened in his eyes and he fought to keep his voice steady,
"Well...that's what I've been doin...I've been riskin you…lyin and cheatin…and it…I…almos…got you killed,"
He closed his eyes tight, shaking in his despair, and drew in a deep breath
"Neva should have…let us get this far…I was fuckin stupid for thinkin that I could have escaped what I had become…what I am,"
He untangled his hand from Ed's and pulled something out of the inner pocket of his suit. A pair of dog tags glimmered in the dim lights of the hospital room; Gin unclasped the chain and slid one of the pieces of metal off, then did the same to Ed's. The ethereal tinkling sound metal mingled with machine's keeping Ed alive.
He gently placed Ed's dog tags back onto the table.
Then he grasped Ed's hand in own again and leaned forward whispering in the redheads ear,
"I love you Eddie baby…remember that…I love you until the day I am taken from this earth, and cast into the next"
He leaned forward and softly kissed his lover, and for a few moments thought that his soul was going to shatter. He trailed a gentle line of kisses from the corner of Ed's mouth, past his jaw, and stopped at his neck. He stayed close to Ed for as long as he could stand, inhaling a scent that drove him wild and that enthralled him. It was amusing that even the sterile smell of the hospital could not choke out the under tones of expensive cologne and money that seemed to have permeated into Ed's being. Tears did fall this time, and he choked on his own breath, he pressed a gentle kiss to Ed's throat one last time then pulled back, and silently left the room.
As he slid out into the hallway he tucked the dog tag that he had taken from Ed's chain into his pocket. And began making his way down the long corridor, the cold night air welcomed him as he strode out of the hospital. In his pocket the new cell phone chimed to life, the ICA logo flashed once then died. He flicked the device open,
"Good evening forty-six Glad to see your back with us"
End of Unknown Unknowns.