Chapter Six

I couldn't resist holding Steph in my arms once we were in bed. We didn't make love, but the air between us was still full of love. A love tinged with sadness. The magic and the bloom of a new love had given way to something deeper, stronger. A love tempered by fire.

Steward's intervention in our lives in addition to our previous fight over the whole trust thing, had made me re-evaluate what I wanted. When Steph put her answer to my proposal on an indefinite hold, I'd thought I would be happy just living with her. Now I realized that wasn't going to be enough for me. I needed her like I needed food to eat and air to breathe. I had to know that she was committed to me and only to me. Ranger would always be part of her life, just like Morelli, I realized that. I was willing to accept that. But I needed to know that she loved me; that she needed me as much as I needed her.

Today had hurt me beyond anything I'd ever experienced. I knew it hadn't been their fault and they hadn't been in control of their emotions or actions, but it still hurt. I honestly believed that Steph was hurting as well and not just putting on a show for my benefit. I know she feels that she's betrayed herself as well as me. Now I had to speak to Ranger; we needed to work together so the air between us had to be cleared.

Steph was sleeping soundly as I slipped out of bed to use the phone in the kitchen. I dialed the number, and took a deep breath while I waited for the man to answer.

"Yo."

"Manoso. We need to talk."

"We do. My apartment?" Ranger was normally so controlled, but his voice was more clipped than usual, as if he were hiding a strong emotion.

"Yes. Five minutes." I disconnected and went to get dressed. I wrote a quick note and stuck it on the refrigerator, then popped to the building on Haywood. Ranger was sitting at the dining table with files and papers spread before him.

He looked up as I arrived. "I should do an upgrade on my security, something that'll keep out paranormals." He got up and walked over to the kitchen. When he returned to the sitting area, he was carrying two beers. Handing me one, he sat down on an armchair while I took the couch.

"Steph go home after leaving here?"

"Yes." I put my beer on the coffee table, untouched. "She told me what happened."

"All of it?"

"Yes." I narrowed my eyes at him. "Answer me this. Do you love her?"

"Yes."

"Do you love her enough to let her go?"

"If she wants you, then yes." He took a swig of his beer and leveled his gaze at me. "What about you? Do you love her enough to let her go?"

"Yes. But I will fight for her."

"At least you're honest." He leaned forward and put his beer on the table then clasped his hands between his knees. "You didn't come here to discuss our respective love lives did you?"

"No, I came to discuss Steward… and to clear the air enough so we might continue to work together. I discovered some minor information that I think we might utilize to entrap him."

"I'm listening."

"Our boy likes to play poker for high stakes and he likes his women slutty."

"Makes sense. With his mind control talent should be easy to win at poker. I think I could probably find a game with high enough stakes to interest him." Ranger picked up his beer again. "Are you thinking of asking Steph to do the distraction?"

"I know you could work with her and stay professional, so the answer is yes. We need to knock him out completely. We can't kill him. Can you get hold of a powerful stun gun with enough juice to knock out an elephant?"

"I might be able to." He stood up. That was my cue that the discussion was over. "I'll set things up and you'll hear from me."

I nodded. I didn't even bother to stand up before I teleported back home. I arrived back in our bedroom and looked down at Steph sleeping peacefully. I quickly undressed and climbed in next to her, gathering her slender body into my arms. Finally able to relax, I fell asleep to the sound of her quiet breathing.

oo000oo

I woke to the feeling of warmth against my back. I'd missed waking up with Diesel, and I luxuriated in the knowledge that he was back home... for all of about ten seconds. Then memories of the previous day came crashing back and I moved closer to the edge of the bed and away from him. I'd also remembered something else. I sat up and looked down at him to find his steady gaze on me.

Folding my hands in my lap to stop myself from reaching out and touching him, I cleared my throat. "Morning. I woke during the night and you were missing. Where'd you go?"

"I went to see Ranger." He started to get up and then stopped and turned to face me. "You have a decision to make." He swung his legs out of bed and got up to get his robe, giving me a great view of his ass. He'd slept in his briefs and I'd worn a tank top and panties. Usually neither of us wore anything in bed, but he, like me, had obviously felt the need for the nominal barrier, the protection that clothes would give us.

I got up and followed him into the kitchen. "What do you mean, I've 'got a decision to make'?" I watched him as he got the coffee started.

Diesel turned to face me, his expression serious. "Ranger or me. We both love you."

Where the Hell had that come from? One minute we were sharing a bed, and the next he was telling me I had a choice to make. And to top it all off, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He'd gotten Ranger to admit to feelings for me. I knew there was no decision to make; but would he believe me? As the silence stretched between us, he turned to face the counter and the coffee machine. His shoulders slumped as if he had the weight of the world on them.

I stepped towards him and put my arms around him, resting my head on his back. "I made my decision two months ago. I'm exactly where I want to be, and exactly with the man I want to be with." He covered my hand with his and I took comfort from the contact. "We've gone over a really big, actually enormous, bump in the road, but we're going in the right direction. And we're going there together."

He turned to face me and I moved my arms to encircle his waist. He brought his hands up to my cheeks, cradled my face and kissed me. I took a chance, opened my mouth and flicked his lips with my tongue. I felt an answering flick from his and then the kiss ended as he jerked back. I raised my eyebrows. "It'll take a while won't it?"

"Yeah Steph. Give me time."

I nodded and reached for the cups to pour the coffee.

"I have to meet with the Elders this morning. They want a progress report on Steward."

His hand brushed mine as I handed him his cup and the coffee slopped onto the floor. I wasn't sure if it had been my hand or his that jerked at the contact. "Have you any idea how to take him down?" I got some paper towels and wiped up the mess.

"Yeah, I have. That was the other topic I discussed with Ranger last night."

"You going for the distraction? Because if you are, he's seen me, I don't think I could work it."

"Yeah you could. With a good disguise, he wouldn't recognize you. And you're our best bet, anyone else would succumb to his will far too easily.

"Just like I did yesterday." I really didn't want another encounter with Steward. "I would snap like a twig the minute he looked at me."

"No. I think you could resist his mind this time. You'll know what to expect and I think I may know how to block him. I have to check with the Elders first, but if my idea pans out, it might just work."

After Diesel left for his meeting with the Elders, I poured myself yet another cup of coffee and gave some serious thought to my future. What did I want? I wanted to be happy, that much I knew for sure. Until this case, Diesel had made me happy. He still did, really. He had been hurt and disappointed by the consequences of Steward's mind machinations. But he hadn't yelled, he hadn't been violent.

How would Morelli or Ranger have reacted in the same situation? Joe would have yelled, walked away from me and possibly gotten drunk. Ranger would have gone quiet. He would have retreated into himself and shut me out. Diesel, at least, was talking.

I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I had to make things right with Diesel. And I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I loved him.

However, there was someone else I had to talk to first. Staring at the phone, I knew I had to call him. I couldn't do this face to face; I was too much of a coward. I picked up the receiver and dialed his number.

Someone answered but they didn't say anything. I guess Ranger had checked his caller i.d. and knew it was me.

"Ranger?"

"Babe." How he could put so much feeling into that one word still defies imagination.

"I'm sorry."

"You weren't at fault. Steward was. We'll get the bastard, and I promise you he will pay." He sounded so tired.

"But we... Oh God, this is so difficult."

"Babe, the only difference between yesterday and any other time, is Diesel. And you found out who you cared about more when you couldn't go through with it." He hesitated, as if he was going to say something else and then changed his mind. "We can deal with it. It's over." What he thought was 'over' wasn't up for discussion but instinct told me it was his pursuit of me.

"Goodbye, Ranger." This time I hung up before he could say goodbye. Somehow, I didn't want to hear that word from him.

oo000oo

It was late into the evening before Diesel came home. I'd spent the day scrubbing and cleaning anything that wasn't bolted down, and even some things that were. I couldn't bring myself to socialize with anyone. I'd screened my calls, in case Diesel phoned, but chose not to call anyone else back.

I felt like my life was on hold and I was waiting for the next bomb to drop. The phone conversation with Ranger had shaken me to the core. I knew I didn't want Ranger any more but I still felt the loss of that possibility deeply.

The skin on the nape of my neck started to tingle as I was rinsing dishes. Grabbing a dishcloth to wipe my hands, I turned and Diesel was standing in the doorway.

"How long have you been there?"

"A minute or two."

I stood there wringing the dishcloth between my hands. "This is ridiculous. I feel like a teenager about to be dumped by her boyfriend." Why the Hell did I just say that? "You're not, are you? I mean, you're not going to dump me, are you?"

He shook his head slowly. "Not a chance. I'm not saying we don't need to work on this…on us, we do, but we can't while Steward is still out there."

"Okay. But that doesn't make the butterflies settle." I leaned back against the counter. "What did the Elders have to say?"

"That my idea on how to block Steward's mind control might work, but only on the two of us. Everyone else will still be susceptible."

"Won't that be dangerous? The Normals might act unpredictably."

"I don't think so. I've also spoken to Ranger again; he'll have three of his men there, all strong-minded men experienced in interrogation techniques. They should be able to withstand Steward for short periods at a time." There was the tiniest of hesitation in his voice as he mentioned Ranger. "He's setting up a private poker game in the back room of a bar down by the river. One of his men, Hector I think he said, is using his gang connections to get the information to Steward and at the same time discouraging anyone else from trying to join the game."

"And us? How will we block him?" I really didn't want Steward in my mind again. Apart from the mind control, it was the evil I'd felt that I feared.

"We join our minds, like when we..." His cheeks flushed.

"Oh. Oh! You mean we...?" I wasn't sure if either of us were ready for that.

"It's the only possible way, Steph. Two minds are stronger than one."

Would we be able to do that? I wasn't so sure. The only time we'd done that was when we were making love and we hadn't had sex in what seemed like ages. Even if we managed a connection, would we be able to stay connected, given our present situation? I knew I would do anything to connect with Diesel again, with my mind and my body, but I decided to stay quiet about my worries. Clothes, however, were a different matter, that I could talk about.

"What about my outfit? He's seen me twice now, I can't just dress the way I normally do for a distraction." I was sure Steward would see through any disguise I wore.

He cleared his throat and had the grace to look sheepish. "I thought Lula might be able to help. We need you to look like a street corner ho. She would know how to dress you, even though she's no longer in that business."

"I'll ask, but I won't put it to her like that." I stalked out of the kitchen shaking my head and muttering "men".

I was about to go to bed and had been walking towards the bedroom when a sudden thought hit me. "D?" He'd gone over to the couch and picked up the paper, but looked up when I called him. "Are you staying? Er... I mean... are you going to sleep with me?"

"I stayed last night didn't I? And there is only one bed, Steph. We shared it even before we became a couple."

"Are we still a couple?"

"My clothes are in your closet. My gun is up on the shelf. So yeah, we're still a couple."

I nodded, still unsure of our exact situation. "So, I'll see you in bed?"

"I'll be along soon."

I nodded again and continued into the bedroom to slip under the covers. I tried to stay awake and wait for him, but when I finally fell asleep, he still hadn't joined me.