25 reasons Itchweeed should be Prime Minister of Canada!
AN - This Blurb, for lack of a better word, was NOT authered by me, but by the great Shardinian, she has given full permission for me to post it. THS or The Hardy does belong to THE Matt Hardy, I am just a member there, Itchweeed belongs to himself and to Jeff Hardy..lol.
1) Official launch of thehardyshow.CA... which takes twice as long to load everything in both english and french, and boasts almost half the content of the original site!
2) Wrestlemania main event Itchweed vs Don Cherry in a one-fall "My Suit is Louder than Your Suit" match (I'd pay 40 to see that.)
3) Trans-Canada trail finally finished... but paved entirely with tin-foil.
4) Peace Tower One helluva volcano.
5) Snowplow joyriding on Parliament Hill!
6) Finally, an excuse to bring a weedeater to your local tulip festival. (Admit it, you've thought about it.)
7) Five minutes into all cabinet meetings, the PM's got his pants off.
8) Standing in front of Parliament and waving and screaming "Oh my God it's Jeffro! JEFF! JEEEEEFFFFFFF!" counts as a vote.
9) What the hell's the damn TV doing on the damn toilet?"
10) Canadian students can actually study someone other than Margaret Atwood in poetry class.
11) Tom Green won't be the only idiot scuba-diving for pennies in the St Laurent shopping centre.
12) RCMP musical ride now encorporates tables, ladders and chairs.
13) Peroxwhy?gen remix of "The Hockey Song".
14) One more official language can't hurt... "Hello, how are you?" "Bonjour, comment ca va?" "Wassup, muthafcka?".
15) Torontonians have something to cheer for that ISN'T the Maple Leafs.
16) There's still no 16.
17) Someone might actually watch CPAC... Maybe.
18) THS finally gives people under 65 a reason to watch the CBC.
19) Any international conflicts between the USA and Canada can be settled by President Matt and PM Itchweed standing on opposite sides of the border and pelting each other with eggs (until someone is forced to concede due to nipple-related injury. Score one for us! lol)
20) Swanton off the Washington monument not NEARLY as spectacular as the Swanton off the CN Tower.
21) If someone sneaks past the RCMP and makes it all the way to the PM's bedroom (...again), citizens can be secure in the knowledge that the intruder will be on the recieving end of a swift chair-to-the-face.
22) WWE + NHL Greatest Sport Ever.
23) Nobody will mind a 5 coin, as long as it's 9 different colours, glows under a black light, has the Hardy symbol on one side and a still-shot of a swanton on the other.
24) Tim Horton's replaces their 'Smile' cookies with 'Nero' donuts - vanilla donut, purple icing, rainbow sprinkes, not so much served on a plate as they are whipped full-tilt across the counter by a cashier clinging to the top of a ladder who's screaming 'SWANTON, MUTHAFCKA!"
25) When people think back and say "You know, I never had any idea what the hell that PM was saying", they WON'T be talking about Chretien. (Ba-Zing!)