Summary:

Kuga Natsuki thought this is what she really wanted. She had told Fujino Shizuru about her feelings but never about how Shizuru's love for her scared her beyond anything she could ever know. But Natsuki will soon find out that there are worst things in life than Shizuru's love... And that's loosing her love.

Disclaimer:

I do not own Mai Hime or the characters. They are owned by Sunrise and various Companies, Productions and Corporations. I am only a fan who is writing for leisure. So please get your lawyers out of my house before I sick my dogs at them.. I am simply an insomniac anime amateur writer who can't find any decent sleep.

This story is slightly AU and may contain some OOC. This is my first time writing a Mai Hime fic so please be kind.

This story is beta-ed by Hoppy-Chan. Thank you very much.

I've only seen the Anime Subbed Mai HiME so my knowledge of Mai HiME is limited so please be kind with the criticisms.

The Setting: This story takes place six months after the HiME Carnival but before the graduation. So AU and OOC is to be expected. You have been dutifully warned.

Italics means thoughts

Author's Pre-Notes:

Many thanks to the people who had reviewed, it was really appreciated. As mentioned in my previous author's note from the last chapter, this story was originally a oneshot story that diverges to other stories mainly featuring the character's point of view which I decided to just combine into one story.

The first chapter was Natsuki's as all of you guessed or have worked out, this chapter is now about her rival and a little look at Nao's character from my point of view. Please check out my author's notes at the very end for more explanation, other than this I hope you enjoy reading this update.

xxxxxxx

Nao enjoyed lazing about the Kyoto woman's bed as she read her magazine. She was currently at Fujino Shizuru's home away from home. Her apartment, more precisely her bedroom. Her bed was always comfortable and so soft. She had gotten Shizuru's consent and was free to drop by her place anytime she chose. At the moment, she decided to skip one of her more boring classes and seek refuge in Shizuru's room.

She was lying on her stomach and her feet were in the air swinging idly. She was engrossed with her reading one of the many magazines and pocket books that had accumulated in Shizuru's room after lending them to her when Shizuru displayed her curiosity about her reading preferences. At the moment, she was too engrossed reading one of Shizuru's collection of shoujo manga that she didn't realise Shizuru had come in.

"Ara?" The Kyoto woman uttered. Shizuru had been long used to Nao's presence and wasn't really surprised to find the red haired underclassman, rather just a little taken aback that she will be there when she distinctively knew that Nao was meant to be in class. "There seems to be a cute junior in my bed. What ever shall I, the naïve kaichou-sama to do in such a situation?"

Nao merely grinned at Shizuru's taunting and rolled onto her back. "You could always ravage poor little ol' me kaichou-sama." Nao replied back waiting for Shizuru's reaction.

"That does sound rather appealing." Shizuru replied as she slowly approached the bed and kept her eyes at her.

Nao couldn't help but feel a little excited as well as being a little nervous at Shizuru's response and tried to hide her reaction but wasn't really successful. She involuntarily shivered.

Shizuru grinned at Nao's reaction as she slowly approached her like a panther stalking its prey, when she saw that Nao had involuntarily closed her eyes, Shizuru sat beside her and lay down on the bed. Eyes closed with an impish smile adorning her beautiful face. "But I'd rather sleep for now."

Nao couldn't help but blush. She had thought Shizuru was going to kiss her, only to feel the bed shift and see the mischievous Kyoto woman lying down beside her. She was annoyed that Shizuru made her think those thoughts. She rolled to her side, eager to reprimand the other woman with a few choice words when her breath caught at the sight of her beautiful form.

Shizuru looked like an angel. There was no doubt about it. Her red lips, her smooth ivory skin and her chestnut hair sprawled on the bed made her look so enticing. It was such a crime for having a beauty such as hers be left alone unappreciated.

Nao could feel her heart beating wildly in her chest, her breathing becoming more erratic. The loud pounding in her ears were deafening. The urge to run her hands upon her hair and trail over her skin was making her stomach churn with both dread and anticipation.

"Didn't anybody tell Nao-san that it is rude to stare? Especially at a defenseless woman?" Shizuru commented as she lifted one eye open, smirking when she caught Nao fluster even more.

Nao abruptly sat up. "You, defenseless?" Nao scoffed. "As if."

Shizuru merely smiled. "I'd love to continue on with our little conversation but I am tired. There was a lot of work to be organised and done." Shizuru explained as she yawned. Not to mention Haruka's protest was the only thing that kept her awake during the meeting. She was glad that they managed to end the meeting early and had given her time to seek her much needed rest.

Nao merely continued to ignore the Kyoto woman. She had lost against her yet again, she had managed to make her fluster first. She felt the bed shift once more, indicating that Shizuru had moved.

Nao turned around only to witness Shizuru's angelic form now properly settled on the bed. Nao knew that this was her cue to leave and let Shizuru have her rest, but looking at her relaxed formed made her freeze.

A frown creased her forehead contemplating what to do when she heard her voice once more, as if she sensed her indecision.

"You don't have to go." Shizuru softly whispered not opening her eyes. "You can stay."

Nao merely frowned at Shizuru.

"I really don't mind." Shizuru sighed, still not opening her eyes.

Nao contemplated Shizuru's offer. She really didn't feel like going, but she didn't want to inconvenience the other girl if she wanted to rest. By the time she had made her decision, she realised that the other girl had already fallen asleep.

Nao watched as Shizuru's chest rose and fell with each deep breath. Her eyes began to wander to her beautiful face and once again found herself entranced by her graceful beauty.

Nao didn't know how it happened or perhaps she did, the day she found herself attracted to Fujino Shizuru.

It wasn't hard for anybody to admire the Kyoto woman. With her perfect visage and almost too perfect personality, it was hard not to feel a little bit entranced by her. But it wasn't any of those superficial things that attracted Nao to Shizuru. She knew better than the many fan girls and fan boys that stalked and continually pursues her.

She knew first hand that the woman lying beside her was far from perfect. She had stained her dainty hands with blood and succumbed into madness all for the sake of one person who was even more pathetic in not realising her feelings more.

Nao saw the madness and passion in her eyes as they fought against each other as she struggled to defeat her. The raw strength and power that Shizuru wielded and the grace she had executed all for the sake of that stupid Kuga, stirred something within her. She would never admit it but she respected the other woman in battle which only aroused her curiosity more.

Nao had never seen such dedication or passion in anyone's eyes before and she found herself entranced. She found herself wondering if she will ever find someone who would be as passionate and devoted to her the way Fujino Shizuru was to Kuga Natsuki.

Nao smiled bitterly. She knew why Shizuru was with her. Sought her companionship above Natsuki's. She knew they had a falling out. Natsuki had admitted to Shizuru about her feelings and Shizuru of course respected Natsuki's feelings and decided to distance herself away. Pathetic really. But what another person's loss is another person's gain and who was she to turn away such gifts? Especially one as beautifully packaged as the Kyoto woman?

Nao reached out and gently caressed Shizuru's cheek, tucking away any strands of her hair that will obstruct her view, smiling faintly as she did so.

She knew Shizuru regretted her actions during the Carnival and was trying to repent for her sins, and what better way than to seek for forgiveness by asking the very people she had wronged?

She knew the first apology she had received from Yukino wasn't as sincere as the second one. She knew that Shizuru still viewed herself in the right at that moment. They wanted to harm her most precious person, so it was only natural for her to retaliate. But given time, Shizuru did realise that she reacted a little too harshly and asked for forgiveness the second time.

Nao wasn't sure what Shizuru did to acquire Yukino's forgiveness since she was sure that Yukino was afraid of her, but it seemed that the shy girl did forgive her. The way the three (Shizuru, Haruka and Yukino) were able to get back to their normal social banter (mostly consisting of Haruka once again berating and chastising Shizuru but with less malice) was proof that they had put their past behind them.

It was different in her case. She didn't even know that Shizuru paid for all her mother's medical expenses until it was time for her to pay for the hospital bills. At first Nao was furious and outraged. How dare this woman undermine her? She was perfectly capable of taking care of her mother. She didn't need Fujino's help.

She had confronted Shizuru then. So blinded with rage that she completely forgot that the very person she was yelling at was the same person that defeated her not only once but twice!

She remembered Shizuru merely watched her in mild amusement as she sipped her tea calmly which only fuelled her anger a lot more.

Flashback…

"Did anyone ever tell you Nao-san that you look adorable when mad?" She replied back.

That made Nao stop from her anger induced rants of expletives. "WHAT?!!"

"You look so cute when you're all rattled up."

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Shizuru merely giggled.

"Idiot."

"You remind me a lot like her you know." She finally said in a soft whisper. Nao was sure Shizuru was not meant to state that thought aloud, especially to her.

"I'M NOT ANYTHING LIKE HER!" Nao protested as she narrowed her eyes against her. Quite insulted to be compared with her supposed-to-be rival but a little intrigued as to why she would even bring it up.

"Yes I know. I told her the same thing too." Shizuru said sadly as she averted her eyes and paid attention to the cup of tea she was nursing.

This made Nao stop speaking to observe her more. It was common knowledge that the two were no longer hanging out with one another. She didn't care either way, as long as they were miserable that was fine by her. She really didn't hold any candle for either of them and why would she?

During the whole carnival, she was attacked by that bull headed Kuga for no reason at all, it was only when the whole event was finished that Sister Yukariko had confessed about her part of the HiME Fiasco and cleared Nao's name. But by then it was already too late, a seed of resentment had already been planted deep within her. She would never admit how hurt she was that the HiME sentai that were named by Midori who prided themselves as a team and family would automatically blame her for that little incident. It only proved her theory that the students of Fuuka don't look past a person's reputation to see the real them.

Nao lowered her head slightly, trying to calm herself down as more images of the past began to assail her, sending her emotions into chaos. Her red hair began to frame her face effectively shielding her from the other woman's scrutiny.

Did anyone bother to ask her how she felt about the whole misunderstanding? No. So why should she be concerned about the two who made her lose control of her tightly reigned emotions?

"In any case, I do apologise if I made you feel angry. I only did what I did to repent for the sin that I have done to you."

"I don't need you help." Nao replied tersely. She was fine on her own. She didn't want to owe anyone anything, especially the woman who was sitting before her drinking her damned tea.

"I know that." she replied, not even bothered by her terse reply.

"Then why?" Now Nao had to admit being curious. Fujino Shizuru was a cunning woman, what devious plans were running through that pretty little head of hers? Was she playing with her since she no longer has Kuga to play with?

"I know that you still go out during the dark hours of the night to pay for your mother's expenses." Shizuru said casually as she sipped her tea.

Nao couldn't speak nor deny the truth. Shizuru continued.

"It's only a matter of time now before you get caught. You no longer have your HiME powers. Tell me, how long will you be able to rely on pure luck when handling the guys you rob or be caught by the police or even worse?" Shizuru asked her straight in the eyes.

Nao knew she was right. It was only a matter of time until she got caught. Or even worse, the last victim she had actually managed to land a hit on her, she was lucky that she managed to get away.

"This is none of your concern." Nao replied as she looked away. She had continued her nightly ritual even without her HiME powers. She knew it was risky since she can no longer effectively defend herself if her victim was to retaliate, but she needed to pay for the hospital bills as well as her daily needs.

Being by yourself wasn't cheap. While Mashiro had her accommodations and studies covered, she still had to deal with other bills such as food, clothing etc. She hated to admit the reason why she wasn't close to her roommate Aoi was because she was jealous of her, of all the students as a matter of fact. Most especially Kuga Natsuki.

The other students have little to no idea how hard it was to fend for yourself, to only have yourself to rely on. They go on with their merry lives oblivious to the hardships she had endured. She hated Kuga Natsuki most of all for she was in the same boat as her.

Natsuki was basically an orphan, much like herself but Natsuki had her inheritance to live off with. She had a living relative, an estranged father or so she heard from the gossip grapevine while she had no one. Only a comatose mother. Why should Kuga be so privileged while she was left on her own?

"I know it doesn't. I am simply repaying my debt." Shizuru's smooth Kyoto accent snapped her from her depressing reverie.

Nao looked at the woman before her, trying to gauge out her real intention and motives but Shizuru had too much experience and was well rehearsed in keeping her features neutral. Those beautiful and haunting amethyst eyes of hers revealed nothing from their owner. With nothing left to say, Nao decided to simply walk away, but something made her stop.

There was something tangible in the way the Kyoto woman expressed her words. As though this woman was showing care for her, but it couldn't be could it? It was only her guilty conscience that urged her to help her right? Yet Nao couldn't make another step further away from the woman that was causing her system to go hay-wire.

Before Nao could actually give any coherent thought about the subject, her mouth moved on its own accord. "Would you like to see her?" She half whispered.

"I'm sorry?" Shizuru asked. Not sure she heard the feisty red head right.

"Would you like to visit my mother with me?" Nao asked, her voice soft. She was still unsure what prompted her to blurt out such a ridiculous notion. There was an odd determination in her voice, daring Shizuru to accept. She rationalised that If Shizuru was serious about helping her mother then perhaps introducing them to one another would be a good idea.

Shizuru would see first hand what type of damage she had caused her when she had destroyed her child Julia as well as give her a taste of her own little payback. If Shizuru thought she was feeling guilty now, wait till Shizuru met her mother.

Nao bit her lower lip at her last thought. Using her own mother's condition as a means of revenge for this woman made her feel so low. Lower than dirt. Her mother has always been kind and gentle, she never harmed a living soul and was always thoughtful about other people's feelings. That's why it was so hard for Nao to accept how the people her mother helped could just turn their backs from them when they needed their support the most. Her mother's kind gestures were not returned, instead she lay in that cold hospital room all alone with her as her only company.

Nao couldn't do something like this no matter how jaded, resentful and callous she had become over time. She would not use her mother, but it was already too late to take back her offer, her only hope was that the other woman would refuse.

Shizuru stayed quiet for some time, contemplating Nao's offer. Probably wondering exactly the same question that urged Nao to make such an offer.

After a brief silence between them that seemed like an eternity to Nao, Shizuru finally spoke.

"I would like that, thank you."

Nao didn't even turn around as she left the council room. Wondering why in the world she even asked the Kyoto woman, who at one time didn't even care even the slightest bit about her.

Back at the present…

Nao smiled as she remembered more of the events that followed and how the woman before her had changed her life, more than she could possibly understand.

Return to Flashback…

Nao had to keep her nervousness to herself as she looked at her companion. She had never brought anyone to visit her mother before and was trying to gauge out the stoic Kyoto woman's reaction with little success.

She was used to the hospital's cold atmosphere. She was long immune to the white walls, aseptic smell of disinfectants and melancholy feeling of walking through the quiet corridors that led to her mother's room. She could tentatively feel that her companion was feeling a bit uncomfortable which made her feel amused and a little better at her reaction.

Not far from her mother's room she had bumped into one of the nurses who was in charge of her mother's care and decided to make idle chit-chat about her mother's progress. She was aware that Shizuru was uncomfortable but ignored her. She did however notice that the nurse gave her a warm smile when she had caught sight of her companion and even encouraged Nao to bring her friends along to visit her mother.

Nao knew that the nurses and doctors were concerned about her. Every time she had time to spare she was in the hospital and watching over her mother, sometimes even sleeping there, and only went back when she was sent home. She smiled at the nurses and proceeded to her mother's room.

-----------

The blinds were half-closed and the room itself was encased in dim lighting. Lying still on the bed was Nao's mother. Her deep breathing could be heard, supported by various machines attached to her to monitor her progress. There were bandages that covered more than half of her body, a sight that Nao had eventually become used to.

Shizuru tried to pry her eyes away at the pitiful form of Nao's mother. Nao could see the guilt written on her face. Nao thought that seeing the other girl suffer would make her feel better, instead it made her feel worst though she didn't know why.

Nao decided to just dismiss her feelings and decided to act what she always does when visiting her mother. Her entire demeanor changed as she brightly spoke to her unconscious mother.

"Hi mama. I hope you don't mind but I brought someone with me today." Nao announced as she looked at Shizuru's direction. She didn't care what Fujino thought of her at that moment. She will act like she normally does no matter how silly it looked to her companion. She had often heard that coma patients could still hear what goes on around them, and Nao would like to think it's true. That is why she needed to be strong for her mother and herself.

She saw Shizuru frown a little as though she was struggling internally about something, but finally changed her demeanor as well.

"Hello Mrs. Yuuki. I hope I'm not disturbing you." Shizuru bowed at the prone woman. An action that caused Nao's surprise but hid it well.

"Mama doesn't mind. I think she would actually like more people to come and visit her." Nao answered for her as she took a seat next to her mother and held her hand. "Mama, Nurse Joy was just talking to me just then and she told me that your doing quite well, You remember nurse Joy right? The one with the brunette hair? She's getting married by the end of the year. Isn't it great?" Nao asked her prone mother as she squeezed her hand slightly. She now ignored Shizuru's presence. For all she knew the Kyoto woman was merely humouring her or perhaps mocking her. Something that she really didn't need right now.

She watched her mother's form and couldn't help but let depression take over her. The many hardships she'd endured until that moment always plagued her whenever she came to visit. Anger, resentment and hate always ate at her mind thinking of the men that caused her mother to become like this. She had unconsciously begun to shake. She was going to break down and cry again.

She was surprised, however, when she felt a reassuring squeeze upon her shoulder. She turned around and was even more surprised to see Shizuru behind her, her eyes full of honest concern that made her feel warm and began to take all those negative thoughts she was having just now go away.

She gazed up at her, their eyes locking against each other. Their eyes communicating with not a single word exchanged, but it was enough to simply comfort Nao.

"You'll be so proud of your daughter Mrs. Yuuki. Nao-san has helped many of our students deal with many problems at school giving them sage advice." Shizuru informed the unconscious woman as she began to tell Nao's mother about Nao's progress in school with so much pride, making Nao feel that for once she was not alone.

Shizuru continued informing her mother how she admired Nao for her resilience and independence.

The gesture Shizuru was doing was making Nao's feeling soar, that Shizuru was making Nao's mother proud of her despite the many undesirable things she had done.

Nao fought the tears that welled in her eyes. She didn't want to look weak in front of Fujino, yet Shizuru's gesture touched her. No one has genuinely been nice to her before, other than Minagi Mikoto. It was at that moment that Nao unconsciously put a grain of trust in Shizuru.

End Flashback…

As the weeks passed, Shizuru's continuous support broke down the invisible wall that Nao had built around herself. The woman was just too nice to be sent away. All her previous fears about Shizuru slowly vanished as Shizuru continued to support her in little ways without trying to do so.

At first she just wanted to get even with Shizuru and Natsuki but over time, she couldn't even think of any ill will towards Shizuru. Her resentment towards her slowly vanished as Shizuru continued to spend time with her and helped her, slowly gaining her trust and her friendship.

It was the little things she did, like lending her some of her old notes, helping her out with her homework, inviting her to eat out and most of all accompanying her to the hospital, made her grow fonder of Shizuru. Nao soon felt that the whole HiME carnival fiasco was just a horrible nightmare, as though it didn't even happen. Everything just felt a little brighter now that she had Fujino Shizuru.

She didn't notice that she had begun seeking out the Kyoto woman's company. She was just easy going and a lot of fun to begin with. Their teases and taunts never failed to make her smile or laugh since both of them were determined to make the other blush first.

The gentle smile that Shizuru always bestowed on her or the massive grin Shizuru gave her when she accomplished her work and received a good mark made Nao's feelings soar. No one had really showed any concern about her wellbeing, nor showed how proud they were about her. Only the nurses at the hospital who took care of her mother bestowed the attention she craved from her incapacitated mother.

She knew her mother would be proud of her accomplishments, but hearing words of appreciation and gesture were different. She felt happy whenever she was around the Kyoto woman. It wasn't long until she found herself outside her doorstep one night when she felt her world was falling apart or when her depression hit her. She had no one to turn to and was surprised that she had found herself seeking her comfort.

Shizuru welcomed her in. Welcomed her with open arms, and it filled her with warmth and comfort she needed. She now understood why Mikoto constantly hung out with Mai now, to think that the naïve and innocent Mikoto would actually teach her something for a change gave her a completely different perspective on life. Not that she would act anything like Mikoto anytime soon, though the idea was quite tempting.

It surprised her that it had already been six months since the carnival incident. She wouldn't have ever thought that she would be on such good terms with Shizuru, she had expected to get along with Kuga more since she was sure they were quite similar.

They both didn't trust people too easily since they grew up alone and had relied on no one else but themselves. They both felt the harsh reality of the world at an early age and had had to fend for themselves. They both harboured deep seeded resentment towards the people who had wronged them. And yet there was Fujino Shizuru.

Shizuru had the capacity of making you feel like you're the most special person in the whole world, and Nao couldn't help but think how stupid Natsuki was for ever letting go of someone so precious.

But she wasn't oblivious to Shizuru's feelings. She knew deep down the Kyoto woman still missed the azure headed-girl's company. If there was something that Nao hated, it was to admit that Natsuki had been right about one thing. They were the same.

It was probably those very same similarities that drew the Kyoto woman to her, and now plagued her with doubts. Was she a substitute for Natsuki's absence? Was she a substitute for Natsuki's company?

Nao couldn't help but hear Natsuki's words echo in her mind. The words she had said long ago to defend her from Shizuru's blade and imminent demise.

"Nao and I are similar…"

"Indeed we are…" Nao had to admit to herself, for she too had fallen to the Kyoto woman's charms. She continued to watch over the angel before her, whom she had at one time thought was the very devil herself.

"We might be similar Kuga but unlike you, I would never let Shizuru go..." Nao whispered to herself.

TBC

Author's Notes:

Well I hope you liked the latest update so far. Like I said in the last chapter, this chapter is quite longer since I want to explore Nao's character more and explain why she's attracted to our favourite Kyoto woman.

To be honest, I don't view Nao's nightly activities shown in the Anime as just a hobby or something she does to amuse herself. The little flashback of her mother's comatose form in episode 24 gave me the idea that perhaps the reason for her nightly activities was so that she could take care of herself and her mother. It would certainly explain alot about the reason behind all those cellphones she acquired as well as explaining her aloof personality.

Thanks to Lone Wolf Biker and m anonymous for pointing out that Nao's mother is revived and awake. I did rewatch episode 26 and was shocked to find out that she is indeed awake. But the scene was too short, that's probably why I didn't notice her.

But for the sake of this story, let's all assume she didn't get better until well after? ; (or else I have to re-write this chapter, please I beg of you, don't make me re-write this chapter!!!)

Well I hope you liked it so far. I will now edit Shizuru's point of view to fit in the plot and how she views Natsuki and Nao.

Also, I won't be around for awhile since I have to prepare for my upcoming exams.

So please review. Your reviews to me are like what Mayonaise are for Natsuki.

Ja Ne