Summary:
Kuga Natsuki thought this is what she really wanted. She had told Fujino Shizuru about her feelings but never about how Shizuru's love for her scared her beyond anything she could ever know. But Natsuki will soon find out that there are worst things in life than Shizuru's love... And that's loosing her love.
Disclaimer:
I do not own Mai Hime or the characters. They are owned by Sunrise and various Companies, Productions and Corporations. I am only a fan who is writing for leisure. So please get your lawyers out of my house before I sick my dogs at them.. I am simply an insomniac anime amateur writer who can't find any decent sleep.
This story is slightly AU and may contain some OOC. This is my first time writing a Mai Hime fic so please be kind.
This story is beta-ed by zelene2004 and renny-chan. Thank you very much and I hope you did well in your exams.
I've only seen the Anime Subbed Mai HiME so my knowledge of Mai HiME is limited so please be kind with the criticisms.
Italics means thoughts
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The moment Nao had spotted Natsuki and Shizuru, she knew she just had to be there. She had paid her mother a short visit since they were still awkward around each other. Although, it was nice to finally get to know one another once again. She realized now why Shizuru pushed for her to spend some alone time with her mother, but it would take a little time to get used to.
She was eager to tell Shizuru all about it and searched for her, ready to scare off the fan girls that were surely be bugging her. Nao was sure that Shizuru would be so grateful for rescuing her, that she would let it slide that Nao was the one responsible for siccing her fan club onto her in the first place. Nao was certainly surprised to see Shizuru in the usual spot where her fan club prepared her their usual picnic lunch only to discover they were nowhere to be seen. Instead, she found Kuga alone with her Shizuru.
Nao couldn't help but growl as she approached their picnic site. They seemed to be too engrossed in their little conversation to be aware of her approach, which made her even more determined to let her presence be known.
"I care about you…" Kuga's words seemed to echo in her ears, but what made her even angrier was Shizuru's reply.
"I care about you too, Natsuki, so very much."
Burning coils of jealousy seemed to have wrapped around her, but Nao was far more perceptive than most people give her credit for. While she was angry at Kuga's response to Shizuru's answer, she couldn't help but smirk as well. There was bitterness and sadness laced around Shizuru's sweet reply, and Nao could already tell that judging from Kuga's reaction, she did not detect any of those negative feelings.
As much as this touching little scene amused her, she couldn't let Kuga get too close to her Shizuru. After all, Natsuki let Shizuru go.
"Well isn't this all quaint?" she said sarcastically making her presence known.
Nao smirked as she could hear Kuga growl at her direction, while Shizuru looked at her questioningly.
Not waiting to be invited, she plopped herself down next to Shizuru. Nao suddenly realized that Natsuki and Shizuru weren't the only ones there as she first thought when she noticed a black mop of hair snuggling peacefully on Shizuru's lap.
"Mikoto?" Nao asked in surprise and with a little hint of jealousy. She had to admire her peer for being able to be so close to Shizuru as Shizuru doted on her.
Nao leaned a little too close to Shizuru for Natsuki's liking, and to make it worse, Shizuru didn't seem to mind the redhead at all!
"She looks adorable," Nao smirked as she gazed at Mikoto's slumbering form, leaning closer to Shizuru to have a better view of the sleeping girl. She couldn't help but giggle as she saw Mikoto began to drool.
"Adorable indeed." Shizuru relied back exasperatedly, not really relishing having the younger girl's drool upon her person, though she couldn't help but agree with Nao.
Natsuki didn't like how easy it was for Nao to gain Shizuru's attention, or that both girls seemed to have ignored her presence. To make up for it, Natsuki grabbed a serviette and crawled over to them as she wiped Mikoto's drool.
"Problem solved!" She grinned at Shizuru, ignoring Nao's glare.
The two green-eyed girls then began to glare daggers at each other much to Shizuru's amusement. She was unaware of the true reason behind the two girl's animosity against each other. The real reason about their apathy against each other which only intensified at that particular moment. She was only aware of the more obvious reasons and remained oblivious to everything else.
Shizuru knew where Nao stood with her dislike. Nao had always viewed Natsuki as her rival due to their similar circumstances. Nao disliked Natsuki for her underdog successes while Natsuki just disliked Nao for disliking her. At least that's how Shizuru saw it.
However, watching over the two, she couldn't help giggling as she began to imagine the two girls as a cat and dog. The cute image of Natsuki with doggy ears and tail while Nao sported a cat ears and tail was just too cute for her to imagine, eliciting a girlish giggle within her.
Nao and Natsuki ceased their evil glares when they noticed that the object of their dispute was giggling at them. Both girls now turned their attention towards the giggling kaichou, wondering, "What the hell was so damn funny?"
Shizuru sensed the two girls' attention upon her person and tried to compose herself, but the image of the two girls in their cute animal form just kept popping in her mind, making the two glare at her.
"What's so damn funny Shizuru?" Natsuki couldn't hold back her annoyance anymore, she could tell that Shizuru was up to her teasing tricks once again. She felt her cheeks grow warm, as Shizuru's giggles were always a sign of something embarrassing about her.
"Yeah Shizuru? What the hell is up with you giggling like a loon?" Nao couldn't help but agree with her rival. It was one thing for Shizuru to be amused, but this circumstance was different since she could feel she was involved somehow.
"You two," came Shizuru's amused reply as she struggled to keep her amusement at bay as another set of giggles threatened to disrupt her resolve.
"And what, pray tell is so funny?" Nao asked coolly, "I get why you'd be laughing at Kuga." Nao retorted as she pointed with her thumb to the azure headed girl for greater emphasis as though to prove her point.
"Hey! Why do you assume it's me?" Natsuki protested with a shriek of indignation.
"It's always you." Nao replied back as though it was only the most logical answer in the world.
"You two are really like cats and dogs," Shizuru couldn't help but giggle.
"SHIZURU!" both girls cried out in unison, as they both blushed crimson, eliciting another row of giggles from the Kyoto woman.
"SHUT UP!" both girls chorused once again.
"Ara?" Shizuru uttered, raising one delicately shaped eyebrow as a response. Their similarities were uncanny.
By now, the two quarrelling girls looked at one another questioningly. Their response to Shizuru was so eerily synchronized, that it was starting to freak both girls out.
Thankfully, an untimely groan from the sleeping brunette broke the awkward silence.
"Soft," Mikoto mewed as she snuggled impossibly closer to Shizuru's bosom much to the two girls' annoyance. Mikoto began to rub her face against Shizuru's ample chest, purring as she did so.
Mikoto's untimely distraction provided Shizuru a great time to steer the conversation to a more peaceful subject and cut the "envious?" glare they're currently directing at the ebony haired brunette.
"How did your visit to your mother go, Nao?" Shizuru asked, wondering how the mother and daughter were doing.
Nao ceased her glare at the sleeping Mikoto and turned her attention towards the Kyoto woman.
"It went well, She told me that the physio and counseling she was receiving was doing wonders for her anxiety." She happily answered Shizuru. Nao's mother had been going through physiotherapy (physical therapy) to help her regain and rebuild the use of her muscles. She had been in a coma for so long that It was recommended by the doctors that she undergo some exercises to regain use of her limbs and rebuild the muscles that have gone lax due to not being used for so long.
Natsuki watched how Nao and Shizuru interacted. She wondered how Nao could talk so cheerfully and carefree towards Shizuru, who was responsible for her defeat during the HiME carnival and making her temporarily loose her mother and Childe.
Natsuki had always viewed Nao as bitter and a bit of a loner. Ok, to be honest she had always viewed Nao as a bitch and a thorn on her side, but she understood where Nao was coming from, even just by a little bit. But seeing Shizuru and Nao be so close was a very disturbing sight for her. She didn't like this feeling one bit.
"Ara? Natsuki?" Shizuru tried to get Natsuki's attention.
"Huh?" Natsuki replied back, unaware that Shizuru has just asked her a question.
"I asked Natsuki if she is doing well with her classes, but I guess Natsuki's mind is elsewhere." In truth, Shizuru already knew that Natsuki's grades had improved, but she wanted to hear Natsuki tell her.
Natsuki's face became animated as she began to tell Shizuru how her grades had improved, not too greatly of course, but better than what she had received last semester. Of course, Nao also began to tell Shizuru about her own studies and pretty soon both girls were now competing at how well they were now doing to impress the Kyoto woman.
"I am so proud of both of you!" Shizuru clapped appreciatively as she placed her hands on the side of her face, the one that made her look so adoringly cute and happy, making the two girls blush at her response.
"It's not that much," Natsuki sheepishly commented.
"It's not that hard," Nao also commented almost at the same time.
"I think both efforts should be rewarded," Shizuru continued her praise, "I know, why don't I take you both to the amusement park?"
Both girls frowned, while secretly delighted at the prospect, but they had to put up a protest so they didn't seem too eager.
"What am I seven?"
"Do I look like a kid to you?"
Shizuru pretended to sigh. "Well, I was looking forward to going to the amusement park, but if you two ladies wouldn't want to come I understand. I am sure I could find someone who would willingly come and escort me."
Both girls looked at each, as the same thought seemed to pass through their minds. Images of Shizuru's fan club all vying for her attention was enough to make them cringe, not to mention the amusement park was a prime location for any number of unattached males to pick-up unassuming girls, not that Fujino Shizuru was anyone to be messed around with, but she would definitely have her hands full if she were to go alone.
"FINE!" both girls griped as they glared at each other once again. They would not let the other be alone with Shizuru no matter what. Their rivalry seemed to have intensified with one little subject.
They were interrupted, however, when one of the members from Shizuru's fanclub approached them.
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The girl sighed in relief, before glaring at the girls that was with her beloved Kaichou-sama. They didn't deserve to be around her beloved kaichou. She knew Yuuki Nao and Kuga Natsuki's reputations and looked at them in disdain. Their idol was far too nice and far too kind to even spend time with these rebellious girls.
"Perhaps kaichou was trying to counsel them and make them better and more refined young women?" The thought almost made the girl squeal at Shizuru's awesomeness.
But that didn't mean she liked them hanging around her precious kaichou. She certainly didn't like the brazen brunette who was openly using her idol's bosom as a substitute pillow. She cursed herself internally for having abandoned their kaichou when the brunette showed up from out of nowhere and scared the living daylights out of her and the rest of the fan club. She had assumed that their kaichou had run away like the rest of them, but she smiled looking at the Kyoto woman. She watched while their kaichou peacefully stroked the wild girl's unruly hair like some sort of cat. She remembering an old saying about beauty taming the beast which made her smile, for Fujino Shizuru was more than merely beautiful, she was a goddess.
"May I help you Kaori-san?" Shizuru asked as she wondered why one of the members of her fan club had returned, probably to see if she got away and retrieved her belongings. It also didn't escape Shizuru's notice, that the girl had been scrutinizing the girls around her and sizing them all up which made her want to chuckle in amusement. If the girl knew that girls before her were all proficient fighters, with or without their HiME powers, she would think twice about thinking of trying to challenge the green-eyed beauties.
Kaori flushed at her idol's attention and the mention of her name. It just meant that she was special enough to make her idol remember her name, unaware that Shizuru just took a lucky guess at her name.
"Suzushiro-san has sent message that the meeting is ready to resume if you are still willing," she politely and sweetly informed the Kyoto woman, even though Suzushiro Haruka didn't really send the message as politely and sweetly as she had delivered it. If she could recall correctly it was more of:
"WHERE IS THAT DAMN BUBUZUKE WOMAN? DOESN'T SHE KNOW LAUNCH HAS FINISHED HOURS AGO!"
"It's Lunch, Haruka-chan,"
"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID! SHE'S DALLYING THE MEETING!"
"Delaying, Haruka-chan."
Kaori was lucky enough to be passing by the student council room in the hopes of catching a glimpse of their beloved student council and made sure she was all right. As soon as she heard the self-appointed executive council representative's rants, she made herself readily available and volunteered to search for her idol. After all, if she found the council president that would mean Fujino-kaichou would be walking back with her. The mere idea was enough to make her swoon in delight. And now it seems her wish will be coming true. She would be walking with the school idol. Just the two of them!
Kaori's eyes began to glaze as she fought the urge to swoon as such magnificent possibility as well as potential for more possibilities.
Shizuru sighed. She didn't want this moment to end. She loved being able to be close to Natsuki once again, able to laugh freely and be herself around them.
Natsuki, sensing Shizuru's distress decided to take her leave, though she really didn't want to.
"Well I guess you better go, Shizuru. I'll take Mikoto back to my dorm." Natsuki reluctantly said as she tried not to show any bitterness in her voice. Thinking of how unfair it was that their time was cut short once more.
As Natsuki reached out to wake the sleeping brunette from Shizuru's lap, Shizuru turned her attention towards Kaori and gave her reply. "I'm sorry Kaori-san, but could you please inform the council to call it a day, and that we will convene again at a later day?"
"Kaichou?" Kaori wanted to protest, but she was cut off by Shizuru's reply.
"They have all been working so hard all of today, so they might as well just enjoy the rest of the day." Shizuru answered sweetly.
Kaori looked like a fish out of water as she stared at her idol in shock. Gone was her little fantasy of walking back to the student council with spring flowers falling at the background behind them. It was now replaced with her all alone by herself with a gloomy background. Add the fact that she would also have to face an already annoyed blonde executive representative with no kaichou in tow who, would in no doubt will scream and screech her lungs out, and you have yourself in one very unpleasant situation.
Putting aside the little fantasy that's now been snatched away or the unpleasant consequences in the nearby future caused by her ear drums being shattered by the blonde executive, Kaori couldn't be bothered by all of these for the stronger sense of shock at the out of character response from her beloved kaichou basically killed most of all her other concerns.
Never before had she witnessed her beloved idol forego her responsibilities. A strange sense of disillusionment washed over her as she tried to rationalize her beloved idol's response. As the rest of Shizuru's words began to sink in, she realized that her idol was again being too kind to her peers. Her idol was just too soft hearted to make everyone continue the meeting on a weekend when everyone should be having fun. Still, the girls that accompanied her beloved idol would need to be monitored. It just wouldn't do for their beloved kaichou to be hanging around troublemakers.
Kaori bowed respectfully to Shizuru, "As you wish Kaichou-sama," giving Natsuki and Nao one last glare before taking her leave.
Nao snorted in disdain while Natsuki growled in annoyance.
Once they were alone, Shizuru and her companions continued their conversation. Even Mikoto woke up and joined them enthusiastically, but much to both girls' dismay Mikoto didn't leave Shizuru's side. It seemed the brunette had found herself a substitute for Mai as she literally latched herself on to Shizuru much as she would if Mai was with them. Time seemed to pass by and sooner than both green-eyed girls realized it, it was already getting quite late.
Shizuru and Nao walked Natsuki and Mikoto back to her their dorm since Mikoto was reluctant in letting go of Shizuru or her bosom, which left Nao to walk with Natsuki. The atmosphere seemed to be amicable enough, but there was still a palpable tension between Nao and Natsuki.
Natsuki didn't want the day to end, and she rather preferred to have spent the day with Shizuru without minor annoyances like Nao and Mikoto; nevertheless, she couldn't help but feel happy to finally breach the invisible gap between her and Shizuru and to finally spend time with her as always.
As Natsuki closed her apartment door, she couldn't help looking forward to going to the amusement park with Shizuru, even if she had to put up with Nao. She needed to keep a close eye on the redhead for she didn't trust Nao anywhere near Shizuru.
Shizuru walked silently back to her apartment with Nao in tow. It seemed the red head wanted to spend the night. Shizuru didn't really mind the company, for her thoughts were too preoccupied with the picnic. Shizuru couldn't believe how normal and happy she felt to be surrounded by people who really cared about her even though Natsuki didn't care for her as much as she wanted to.
Nao, on the other hand, was also preoccupied with her own thoughts. She watched her companion with veiled eyes. She couldn't help but feel happy that Shizuru seemed to be in a happy mood, she could see it in her crimson eyes, but at the same time she felt threatened by what that implied.
"Are you sleeping over tonight?" Shizuru asked as they reached her place.
Nao gave her a sly grin. "Do you want me to?"
Shizuru merely gave her a playful shrug as she took of her shoes and left the door opened leaving the decision entirely up to the red head.
Nao followed Shizuru in and closed the door.
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That night, Nao sneaked into Shizuru's room. She watched Shizuru quietly dream as the moon's rays from her open window cast an ethereal glow upon her slumbering form. She was painstakingly and breathlessly beautiful. So beautiful that it was making her chest constrict, making it harder for her to breathe.
Ever so slowly she approached Shizuru as though there was an invisible force drawing her to her.
Her footsteps were light and noiseless, but somehow it managed to rouse Shizuru from her slumber.
"Nao?" Shizuru groggily whispered as her eyes adjusted in the darkness to focus on the shape before her, wondering why the redhead was in her room.
Nao managed to keep down her surprise and tried to find an excuse as to why she would be in Fujino Shizuru's room.
"I couldn't sleep," which was true and wasn't a complete lie anyway.
There were too many questions that filled her mind, keeping her awake. The only thing that seemed to console her was the thought that perhaps if she could only see Shizuru, the one that plagued her mind with questions, she would feel at ease and walk straight back to bed. She didn't really intend to be caught by her; now, she probably looked like some weirdo watching her sleep.
To Nao's surprise, Shizuru began to make room for her as she lifted the blanket, indicating that she should get in.
Shizuru, even though clouded by sleep, was still too kind and remembered the many nights Natsuki also did this, looking for comfort from the nightmares she had about her mother. It had become routine for her almost.
Nao didn't speak another word as she climbed in and laid down beside Shizuru who wrapped her in her warm embrace as she once again fell asleep.
Nao listened to the steady beat of Shizuru's heart as she tried hard to make her own heartbeat match Shizuru's. She unconsciously held onto Shizuru tighter, not wanting to let go, trying to find comfort in her warm embrace but found more questions instead. She cursed Kuga Natsuki mentally once again.
"I won't let you have her," Nao murmured before finally letting sleep claim her.
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Author's Notes:
Sorry about the late update. My computer has finally been fixed unfortunately I wasn't fast enough to catch my rapidly running inspiration. Maybe if I had a net?
I hope you enjoyed reading this and thanks again to zelene2004 and renny-chan for pre-reading this for me and I hope you both did well in your exams and papers.
A little note though,
kikyo4ever had written a very thought provoking review which was shared by a couple of readers which makes me want to reply here in my notes. Don't worry I am not upset, I just thought a review with so much passion deserves a reply (winks).
I am not trying to take Shizuru's love for Natsuki lightly. Shizuru's love as seen in anime is too intense, too powerful that in the end it both burned her and Natsuki. I'm trying to write/show that Shizuru is trying to improve and better herself to be more deserving of Natsuki. I really can't say anything more because I might reveal my intended plotline here and ruin it for the other readers so I'll leave this as it is. I know, I know I'm being cruel and my reply isn't an actual answer but thats the most anyone will get out of me. ; p
Well thats all for now really.
Please review, your reviews to me are like what mayonnaise are for Natsuki.
Ja Ne