"Jethro, have you spoken to Ziva yet?" Asked Ducky.
Gibbs stopped the elevator mid-shaft between floors.
"We've had this conversation, Duck" He replied "I'm not going to see DiNozzo, I'm not welcome there"
"He would want you there" Said Ducky.
He had said this all before to Gibbs but had feeling that if he said it enough maybe something would get through to him.
"Ziva doesn't want me there"
Ducky said nothing, trying to pry more information from Gibbs. The two men stood in silence for a moment.
"He's the second agent I've lost because of my obsession to catch some dirtbag, Kate died because I let Ari consume me" He said "Thorn got away, just like Ari did and I got consumed by a desire to catch him. At Tony's expense"
"He's not dead Jethro, you could see that for yourself, Ziva needs your support more than you realise"
"He's as good as dead, I should never have left him alone" Said Gibbs venomously.
It was Ducky who flicked the switch allowing the elevator to continue.
"You surprise me, Jethro" He said angrily "I never imagined you ever giving up and wallowing in your own self pity"
Ducky put his hat on and walked out of the elevator leaving Gibbs alone with his thoughts, he went into the dark squad room and saw Ziva sitting at her desk finishing a report.
"I did not want to do it in the morning" She said.
He sat down at his own desk and took a swig of coffee from the paper cup he had.
"You should go, Ziva" He said
"I will see you in the morning" She turned off her desk lamp and tried to stand up.
When she got to her feet everything around her started to spin and her head was swimming. Gibbs looked up and saw he grab out for something to support her. He jumped up and caught her before her knees buckled and she passed out completely. He steadily sat her down.
Kate had spoken to him, given him guidance and kept him grounded. Although at the moment they seemed to have run out of things to say. He stood over Abby who had arrived about an hour ago, she had been there alone until Ducky had also wandered in about ten minutes ago.
"Why doesn't Gibbs ever come here?" He asked Kate "I get treated to Ducky's unending stories about Edinburgh Medical Collage, Abby and Ziva constantly beg me to come back to them...but I can't...I can't"
Kate stood in front of him and firmly grabbed his shoulders, she tried to draw his panicing, aggitated eyes towards hers.
"Stop filpping out, it's not like you" She said "We've been in some situations together Tony, but I've never seen you like this, it's not doing you any good.
He turned his back on her and looked at Abby's tired face.
"They all come and sit in that chair, why doesn't Gibbs?" He asked "Even McGee does"
"Gibbs has his own set of issues, Tony, you remember how losing me screwed him up" She said.
Tony remembered his boss's strange behaviour after Kate was killed and figured she had a point.
"I suppose he'll only come in his time, no one could ever force him to do anything" He smiled.
He looked around at Abby again, she was still there but Ducky had gone. He looked at her and at first thought she had stopped talking to him, but he could see her lips moving. She was talking to him but it was just that he could no longer hear her. He turned to Kate but she seemed to be drifting away from him, he reached out for her outstretched hand. He was terrified, Kate's face seemed as peaceful as it had been since she had first appeared to him. It was like being in a dream, Kate's hand was getting far away, the world around him seemed to become stretched and distorted. Then everything disappeared, the room around him, Kate even the light had gone. He was surrounded by darkness and could feel nothing but the tremendous pain eminating from the wound.
Gibbs put a glass of water on Ziva's desk and commanded her to drink it.
"I've had some experience with women, Ziva" He said after a few minutes of silence "Women don't just go from being healthy to passing out for no reason, you need to level with me"
Ziva heaved a sigh and put her head in her hands.
"Do you remember the surprise I had for Tony the day he was stabbed, well this is it, Gibbs"
Gibbs knew what she meant but wanted to hear her say it, he wanted to hear her confide in him once again. Just as they had done since they first met. She had saved his life by killing her own flesh and blood, all he wanted was for them to go back to that level of trust before this huge mess beagn.
"I'm pregnant" She said "But you guessed it, didn't you?"
"No, not until a minute ago" He admitted
"I don't blame you Gibbs, I sorry I yelled at you in the hospital, but I was scared" She had tears in her eyes.
He pulled her close to him and she sobbed into his shoulder.
"I don't want my child to be fatherless" She sobbed.
In true Gibbs fashion it was what he didn't say that reaffirmed the bond between them. They remained that way for a long while until Ziva's desk phone rang...