A/N: Jesus, it's been so long since I've updated this story. I've missed it. So just in case, anyone's missed it, here's the final chapter! A LOT of detail was omitted, and I dont care, I just finally wanted to finish it. So enjoy!

"Holy shit!" Snake screamed at the sight of the big mecho-monster. There weren't enough swear words for him to yell, but he sure did try to name them all.

Snake wasted ammo on it, firing as fast as he could. That's what she said.

Volgin's voice boomed over an intercom:

"Snake! I'm going to kill you! Everyone will praise me! Muahahahahahah!"

"How do we beat him, Snake!?" Eva yelled desperately.

"I dont know! Maybe he'll do some redundant but revealing manuever that will expose a weak area!"

"What!? That's stupid! Why would he do that!?" Eva said. She was now driving in circles, trying to buy time to think of a plan.

"I've got a plan! I'll get on the ground and try to blow him up!"

"How? i cant slow down or he'll run us over!"

"I'll jump!" Snake said, and as he went to leap out of the moving vehicle, he realized it was just that, a moving vehicle. He peed his pants a little. He turned to Eva, who must have sensed his fear, and proceeded to kick him in the ass, shoving him out. He landed on the ground, rifle in hand, and thought of something. He stood in the open, fist on chin, in deep thought. As Eva zoomed by, she yelled

"Thought of anything yet!?" and swerved away from Volgin, who seemed to have forgot about Snake. All Snake could think about was that goddamn starbucks commmercial! Damn them and that stupid catchy song!

But that was it! Starbucks meant coffee. Whenever Snake drank coffee, it felt like his mouth was exploding. He just cant sip it, he has to gulp his drinks! But RPG's make things explode!

"I want an rpg!" he yelled to some divine force. He dug into his handy dandy pocket and pulled out an RPG.

"Just my luck!" he exclaimed.

Then he stopped. "Now I want three really hot chicks!" In response, a bullet shot through his arm.

"Ow, ok!" he yelled in pain, shouldering the rpg. Volgin was still chasing Eva, and would occasionally stop to show his weak spot. Snake took aim and fired, blowing up the monstrosity. A ferocious explosion occured, and out of it came Eva, on her motorcycle.

"Good job, Snake!"

A/N: I'm too goddamn lazy to stage an actual boss battle and insert little jokes, so just make something up, and laugh at that.

Snake and Eva finally arrived back at Espionage Academy, after hours of driving, and an embarrasing ordeal where Snake fell asleep and his head fell on Eva's chest. She got mad, but he knew she liked it.

The Boss, Sigint, and Para-Medic greeted them. Para-Medic hugged Snake, earning a dissaproving glance from Eva, and Sigint did one of those really annoying, really long handshakes that made Snake just want to cut his hand off.

"Good job, you guys. You have succeeded, and very well, I might add." The Boss said, shaking their hands. "You four have shown extreme talent, and we are prepared to offer the ultimate promotion."

"No!" Snake interjected.

"What? Why not?" Sigint said, followed by similar comments from the other two

"I dont want a fucking sequel! I got shot twice, and it hurts!"

"Ok Snake, but no matter what you do, there will always be a sequel." said the Boss.

"What the hell does that mean?" Snake asked

"You'll see."

The others just shook off the encounter, and headed back to the dorm. Snake and Eva were hand in hand, and Snake was staring down her shirt.

"So, what'd we miss?" Snake asked, when they were all sitting in the living room.

"I was diagnosed with cancer." Para-Medic said.

"Ahahaha, yeah, I missed you too." Snake said, the other laughing.

"Anyway, what was the mission like?" Sigint asked.

Snake described all of his lame ass tricks, all of which impressed Sigint, and Eva told them how funny it was to shoot Snake in the leg. They all laughed, and all was right. After 30 or more minutes of catching up, they decided to turn in, and walked to their rooms. Snake and Eva walked to the one they shared, and Snake layed on the floor.

"Hey Snake?" Eva said quietly.

"Yeah?" Snake replied.

"Remember when I said you had to sleep on the ground because I didnt know you well enough?"

"Yeah..." Snake said, dirty thoughts flooding his mind.

"I think I do now."

Two weeks later, everything was back to normal. Snake and Eva were officially dating, and they were caught up on all of the work they missed. Snake dreaded the assignment of getting shot, and was forced to make it up. He had a bandage over his other arm. He was headed back to the dorm, when Eva caught up with him.

"So, this was a good story, huh?" Eva said.

"Yeah, it was. I think people should give it a lot more reviews, jackiechan is getting lonely." Snake replied.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. But you know what my favorite part about it is?" Snake said

"What's that?"

There will definately NOT be a sequel.

Eva's face changed.

"Right?" Snake said. There was a pause.

"I'm pregnant." She said.