REWVIEW!! Please!!

Soul of the Sun

Ch.5 Screaming

When I arrived back at the Cullen's Elena was sleeping in Edwards arms and I was so mad at how good they looked together. I didn't bother to speak to Edward as I walked in I just couldn't bring myself to do it for fear that I would end up sobbing. I just went looking for Elizabeth; she was in the kitchen with Esme. I went up behind Elizabeth and put my arms around her shoulder.

"I know you're sorry Bella it's ok really you were upset." Elizabeth knowing exactly how I was feeling.

"No it's not ok. I love you and just cause you're his mother doesn't mean I should take out my issues with him on you." I should take them out on him.

"Bella I understand you were upset just forget it, please." Elizabeth said.

"Fine but I really am sorry. I think I'm going to head home now you and Elena can stay. I'll leave the keys and you can take the car when you come." I said.

"Oh Bella dear please don't go we really should catch up." Esme said sweetly sometimes I really wondered if she was coated in white chocolate she was so sweet and nice.

"Um well the truth is that it feels kind of awkward being here it's not my place." Again with me and the truth they didn't even have to torture it out of me I gave it far too willingly.

"Why is that dear? This is your home as much as anyone's." Although I knew Esme meant well I couldn't help but laugh at the ludicrousness of what she had just said this was not my home because home is where your family is and your family doesn't leave you ever.

"No its not." I said coldly as I walked away. I was almost to the door when I was cornered by a small pixie like creature aka Alice.

"Alice please move." I said dryly.

"No this is your home and we are your family despite what you may think." She said.

"Alice we both know what I'm going to say do we really have to have this argument?" I asked frustrated.

"Yes we do you are my sister, my best friend. I don't want to lose you, let Edward tell you the truth let, me tell you the truth, let any of us tell you the truth but don't leave here before you have heard the whole story." She half yelled half sobbed at me.

"Alice if you love me then let me leave don't make me hurt any more, let me go find a safe place to crawl up and just sob I cannot do this anymore. I am broken and fragile my heart is not impermeable. The outside does not always reflect what is within. I might have been somewhat ok yesterday but seeing you guys again . . . has really opened my wounds up again and I just want them to close up again." I begged her.

"Bella I do love you that's why you have got to listen to us. We really just want you to be happy really we do. So let us help you stop the pain by knowing that we do love you, we have always loved you and always will. Help us stop the pain we all feel from not having you." Alice said coming closer to me.

"I'm not as strong as you think I am or as dumb . . . not anymore. Fool me once shave on you fool me twice shame on me I have an enough shame to deal with thank you very much. I don't need to trick myself into believing that any of you love me. Now let me leave Alice." I said sharply.

"WE DO LOVE YOU! Edward is just an idiot beyond anyone else on the planet. Now just let him explain that to you ok please, please. I'm begging you don't hate the rest of us because my brother is as dumb as anyone could ever possible be ok." Alice was now channeling her anger at Edward which I was really enjoying.

"Bella please talk to me. I just want to try and explain how much I really do love you." I heard Edward wispier from behind me. His voice sent an unwanted shiver of hope through my body.

"Fine but only because it's the only way I'm going to get the hell out of here." I said in a huff. Alice moved out of the door way and I exited followed by Edward. "Let's get this little 'let's torture Bella fest' over with shall we."

"No one wants to torture you Bella. We all love you." He said seriously.

"Whatever."

"Alice was telling the truth I am an idiot and there is no other in the world that could possible compare. I only left you because I was afraid th-that something like what happened on your birthday or James would happen again I could not risk your life any longer. It's too precious . . .you're too precious. I would never allow harm to come upon you especially not by my own hand and I was truly the greatest threat to your life." Edward said trying to explain his actions I did not interrupt him I was far too interested in seeing what he had to say. Oh how I wished it was true.

"I never cared about my own life because you are my life even now. Life never mattered to me physically only emotionally so technically you killed me that day." I said holding back sobs.

"I never meant for that I only wanted to protect you. I thought you would get over me and move on be happy. I honestly never believed you could love me." And those should have been his dying words.

"SO WHAT MY PATHETIC HUMAN LOVE WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH?" I screamed at him as lowed as I possibly could. I was really, really tempted to bolt but I didn't think I could out run him I was fast but I knew he was faster so I would just fight it out.

"No never Bella yours is the only love I have ever truly wanted or craved but I was never really able to see how an angel like you could love a monster like me. You're pure and good I'm nothing but evil. I'm a 

murderer and the day I left you is the day I truly became evil because I destroyed the only thing worth anything . . . your love and trust. And I would do anything to go back and change what happened but I can't I just have to hope that you can someday look into my eyes and honestly forgive me and not hate me." Every word was sincere, they made me want to run into his arms but I was scared I couldn't stand to be hurt again I would never survive again.

"You have no idea how badly I want to believe you but I don't know if I can do it." I whispered.

"I understand Bella if you don't love me anymore. What I did was unforgivable." He thought I didn't love him.

"Edward don't you ever say that I don't love you, I love you with every ounce of life in me." It was then that I realized that he didn't need my forgiveness because I have never stopped trusting him or loving him. So I ran into Edwards arms and wrapped my legs around his waist then kissing him. He was confused but not unresponsive.

"I love you Bella and I will spend the rest of my life trying to prove that to you because you are everything to me. You will never doubt my love again." Edward said looking deeply into my eyes.

"Never doubt my love either it is pure, unyielding and everlasting." I whispered in his ear as he held me closer to his marble chest where I fit like a puzzle piece that had been missing for far too long.

"How did you know that I wasn't lying before what was it that made you understand me?" Edward asked as I sat in his arms later that night.

"Honestly I was just too dumb before to realize that leaving is something that only you would do for me. I think that the biggest problem in our relationship is our inability to believe that the other loves us. I 

probably should have realized it a year ago because Elena is our love in human form I just could not see how you loved me." I said to him.

"I do love you; I have always and will always love you and no other is as pure or meaningful. I will also never leave you again not even for your own good." Edward whispered into my hair before kissing it.

"Good that's all I needed to know."

THE END!

A/N Now I need all of you to go to my profile and vote on whether you want a sequel to Soul of the Sun or Upon the Horizon because I'm starting high school and won't have time to write sequels to both! Honestly I don't know what would happen in either sequel so they are both blank slates in need of suggestions.