A/N: I wasn't thinking about the similarity of Bee and Apoc's voice impediment when I was coming up with the fic. Honest. I wanted something 'imperfect' with Apoc from the onset of this and something he would have to fight with. You will notice though that his narration is extremely formal without any contractions…cookies to who figures out who I modeled the mode of speech from. Think outside Hasbro.
One final note, I wanted to apologize for my impatience in this, because of it I posted the first chapters when it was glaringly obvious they were not ready. I have revised them now and hopefully I won't let myself get too impatient in the future.
Warnings: Based on the G1 series but only until I take what is called 'artistic liberties' and smash the entire plotline to hell and back. Enjoy.
Rating: M
Summary: Warrior, scholar, lover, prisoner, and slave. I am this. Traitor, teacher, friend, and demon. I am this as well. To stop the nightmares I will write this and hope...
Disclaimers: Transformers is the property of Hasbro and concept licensed through Takara Co. All original characters however are created by ciscogirl/ciscogoldengirl and protected by copyright laws. This work was created only for enjoyment, not with the goals of credit or monetary gain in any fashion.
Lykurgos
Courage is of no value unless accompanied by justice; yet if all men became just, there would be no need for courage. -Agesilaus the Second (444/443 BC-359 BC): King of Sparta (400 BC-359 BC)
What can be said of the events following my choked words of loyalty to Megatron?
To be blunt it was a battle against my own body.
I was weak and had little way of communicating to those around me, moving even my head made me exhausted. I remained on the table, closely monitored by others who I never saw for I had too much trouble focusing on any one external system. During those few times when I was strong enough to remain awake, Megatron always seemed to appear at my side and continuously spoke to me about the glories of the Decepticon Empire. I suppose it was the taint of the program I had initially battled for no matter how tired, how angry I was, I would relax enough to listen to his words. Sometimes his words were easily understood and I would listen in wonder at the things he spoke of; glory, death, life immortalized by battle, the destruction of the beings known as the Autobots. Already I understood what battle was and more importantly, I understood that my purpose was to aid in battle and I hungered to prove my worth. The taint whispered to me always, wrapping itself as much as it could into my basic programming and instructing me that. yes, to fight was my purpose in life.
But there were far more times when his words were too difficult for my still-formatting processor. Not even the taint could inform me for it did not have a complete hold on me and as such it had information I could not access. In frustration I lashed out at myself, forcing my body and limbs in functioning even when it became clear they could not yet fully operate. I wanted my 'rebellious' body to bend to my will, as it should. Never did it occur to me that there was a reason for my body's poor reactions. Such times were never pleasant as my voice would stutter and short out from my screaming while my makers scrambled to piece me back together before I could do further damage. Following these tantrums would be a moment where I would be lost in darkness until I would awaken again to Megatron at my side, my body being repaired or modified by my still unseen makers.
I knew of them only by sight and sound; Soundwave, Hook, and Starscream. They detested my restlessness, as evident by their grumbling and pestering Megatron to simply shut me down until every system was at optimum efficiency; 'like the others'. But these requests were stoutly ignored in preference of allowing me to continue my war against my own inadequacies. Despite the anger I could feel from the others Megatron never seemed angry at my actions. In fact I think he was pleased with me every time I pushed myself.
"So impatient; I see rage in your optics Apocalypse." Megatron told me during one of these repair sessions. This time my right leg had become nothing more then a dead weight, the neural circuitry within have blown from the amount of commands I had put on it in trying to move and walk. The pain was still burning through diodes and part of the limb's structural framework, warning me of its instability though I personally did not care one bit about such things. All I knew was that the taint wanted me to become independent and I wanted to walk to rule over my body, the screaming warnings of my own body were meaningless.
It happened to be that this session stood out from the previous ones because it was during this particular session that I began to understand the meaning of colors, or, I began to notice colors, shapes, and sizes. While he spoke I watched not him, but the way the lights made his frame look darker or lighter, depending on the shadows. And beyond him I saw the dull shading of the ceiling and thus came the knowledge that Megatron was not as tall I had first thought.
"Apocalypse?"
I looked up from my study of his hand and shakily lifted my own, and took pleasure in seeing the digits curl even more then they normally did. I brought my hand next to his, taking note of the differences and the similarities, awed by being able to make sense of the idea of 'different'. Information became achingly clear, imprinting itself into my memory as I eyed him. Gray. Light. Dark. Shadow. Red. Purple.
I relaxed my hand before curling it again, tighter then before, eyeing the way it moved and shaped itself to my will, entranced by the way the light reflected off of the metal digits. His own hand was bulkier, his digits thicker and covered by thin, almost invisible minimal scratches. My own hands were thinner yet slightly larger then his own and were so much darker, so much blacker then Megatron's. I also noted that on top of everything already that was different, I had no tiny scratches on my hands, my hands were unblemished and as such I thought them strangely repulsive.
Why? I questioned inwardly. Why do I think of the absence of scratches displeasing?
"You're seeing something new today. Excellent. What is it that you see?" Megatron asked, disrupting my thoughts. Looking up into his optics I opened my mouth, filling my vocal components already protesting at being forced to respond.
"N…no..sa-a-ame." Despite every modification I had undergone, my attempts at speaking were choppy at best. The most I could do at times were the violent screams and wails during my tantrums, during the pain. "N-n-no." I made a frustrated noise that had no meaning in terms of words but nonetheless, Megatron understood.
He seemed to know everything but my victory over the program and the subsequent taint left behind, inhabiting most of my lesser systems. Even at such a young age I knew that I could not tell him about it, ever.
"Different. Yes. You and I are different. You're beginning to adapt to your programs now, soon you'll be able to grow even more and move yourself beyond the lab. You're learning much faster then predicted. You're noticing this because you deleted your trial programs, possibly unconsciously."
"Cognitive thinkers are so slow. Are you sure we had to make him cognitive Megatron?" From his voice I knew him as Hook. He was at times the most negative of the three voices. This time however I jerked my head to locate him and all I could think of was the fact that he was nothing like Megatron with his brilliant green form.
Green! Smaller then Megatron! The information nearly screamed, pointing out every difference, every spec that made Hook stand out. His frame work was bulkier and held strange edges, so different from Megatron with his almost simplistic shape. His right optic ridge appeared thicker then his left and his movements were smooth and quick though when he spoke with Megatron he almost curled on himself.
Submissive. Weaker than Megatron. And even stranger one followed those thoughts, one which gave me pause. Can I beat him? I felt my internal systems speed up at the thought.
"I want no mistakes with him. If that means keeping something of his previous state then so be it. And I find cognitive to be interesting. Look how he takes everything in, far more inquisitive then any normal sparkling."
Hook did as bid, looking at me and his optics narrowed, his mouth twisting as I looked straight back at him, my systems whirring. The tainted systems seemed even more on edge, urging me to see every possible weakness to be had in Hook.
"Far more inquisitive, perhaps. But also more reckless I would dare say." Hook drawled and suddenly I abruptly looked away. Where one moment I had been inspecting everything about him for a weakness, now I felt the irresistible urge to back off and submit…for the moment.
He is stronger.
A third voice, near my lower body spoke up and I lifted my head to see only a red and white edge just barely within my view. "You just like the fact the scrapling's all over you oh 'great' leader."
"I…sparkling…sp…wh…" I resorted to snarling viciously at the inability to communicate and looked back at Megatron. "V…voi…voi-ce!" I begged him. Give me the ability to make known my thoughts! If you are truly my leader than do this! I was so young; hateful of his power of me and yet enraptured by it at the same time. For a Decepticon there is no greater allure than power and no greater beauty than seeing those who are powerful. If any of them say differently then they are lying through their exhaust.
"In time. In time impatient one." Megatron replied, his grin widening. "I know you don't understand it but this is normal. The programs will catch up and reroute themselves within your network. Soon you'll be able to talk."
"So…o-o-n?"
"Indeed. Now keep your legs still." He grinned at my wince of embarrassment as I quickly stilled from my involuntary fidgeting, invoking sighs of relief from the others.
"He's a bit too much like Starscream Megatron. Sparklings are supposed to be curious but he's beyond curious. Perhaps the Seeker planted a virus into the sparkling to cause it to self-destruct." Hook suddenly said. Starscream snarled something unintelligible but Megatron only chortled, his optics darkening slightly as he kept his gaze fixed on me.
"No. Our little traitor wouldn't dare tamper with the project. And Apocalypse is a flyer to begin with; it's natural for him to be inquisitive." A hand reached out and fingers glided down the side of my face, touching my optic ridges and forehead. I shivered from the dark, twisted emotions of fear and comfort created by that touch. It did not help that Megatron took note and his smile turned into something downright wicked.
"Still so young aren't you? Oh the Autobots will tremble with fear when you rain an Inferno on their heads."
"There's no point in messing with the scrapling, oh great leader. He's destroying himself without any outside help from me. He's nothing more than another failure in your record oh Mighty Megatron." Starscream said.
Megatron tensed but within the next instant he relaxed again, his optics however retained a cold edge of anger.
"Starscream if you want failures look to your own records and the times when I've actually let you lead." His hand touched my forehead again. "Face it Starscream, you're just upset because you're no longer the focus of my attentions."
"How will I ever survive?" was the immediate response but again Megatron ignored him in favor of gazing down at me. Oh how I wanted that stare directed elsewhere, that smile no longer aimed at me. I fought the urge to close my optics and it took everything I had to stare up at him, wondering why I both hated and loved him as I did.
Soon it was deemed possible to move me safely and my world expanded to include a small chamber with a berth and a single light panel, and the short hallway connecting the two. My graduation from being stationary on the table was punctuated by Megatron's words before he left me.
"I want him to be perfect. You have enough time to make sure of that. No mistakes or it'll be your heads." Megatron snarled at them as he lifted his right arm to show off the strange protrusion attached to it. Despite the oddness of it I at least realized that when he pointed it at someone, it was a threat. Obviously it did something horrible though I had yet to witness what it could do.
Still though, despite the threat, it was all meaningless to me. All I cared about was the realization that I was leaving the lab which I had thought was everything. Imagine my innocent shock when Megatron had walked towards a wall and it had suddenly hissed, making an opening for the tall being! I gapped and tried to lurch after but was held back by Hook. His face was a relief of sharp, jagged edges and I came to the conclusion then that he was ugly.
"Grovel after Megatron some other time." He snapped but I only gazed at the opening before it hissed shut and I jumped, shocked. How powerful Megatron was to force walls to bend and become openings for him! Hook smirked at me then, waving a hand in my face to snap my attention back to him. "So it's the door you were interested in; all brawns and not a spare processor for thinking then."
"What else did you expect, Megatron designed him after all. Wouldn't want him to be too smart now would we?" Starscream's voice cut in as a set of hands settled themselves on my shoulders, steadying me as Hook prodded me to stand. My balance was slow in coming but with the aid of Starscream behind and Hook before me, I managed. My thoughts jumbled together in shock at the realization that I was actually taller then the others and Hook was forced to look up at me.
"Negative assumption Hook. His processors are different then our own." I moved my head towards Soundwave. In all the repair sessions in the lab I had never seen him and aside from perhaps one or two words to Megatron he rarely talked. I caught sight of a large dark form on right side but Hook grunted and prodded me to pay attention to my feet instead.
"Focus. Your gyroscope is still out of sync. I don't know why, I've worked on the stupid algorithms for at least three joors. Focus on standing and keeping your head up! By the pit you're stupid." He looked upwards in irritation. "Why me? His designs were far too flawed and the materials used…disgusting."
"Incorrect."
"Primus Soundwave, look at him! He can't even walk on his own! His gyroscope should have compensated for the change in gravity the moment he moved! Even the Stunticons had no troubles and they're far from being perfect."
Starscream gave a shrill cackle. "I'll remember to tell them you said that when this is all over. Come on scrapling, move your feet before I start rusting." I moved on foot, feeling exhilarated by the fact that my limbs followed my orders, however jerky it was. Compared to the times in the lab those jerky motions were beyond my expectations.
"Enough. Apocalypse has been created under different circumstances then the Stunticons. His learning is cognitive, not instantaneous upload. Understood?" Soundwave rumbled in that strange, cold voice of his.
"Whatever." Hook replied while Starscream only grunted, using one of his own feet into prodding my other foot to move. I was forced to again concentrate on my limbs though it was difficult to as I had just realized then that I was taller than Starscream.
"Wouldn't it be easier though if we just did an upload or two? We could all be done in less the..." Hook tried again but he did not get very far.
"Negative. The subject is forbidden now around Apocalypse. He imprints."
"Drone sees. Drone does." Starscream quipped and with that the conversation turned to keeping me from falling over while walking.
It was irritating to have them speak about so many things I had little knowledge of. Uploading? Gyroscope? Cognitive? Drone? Primus? What did these words mean? At the moment I could not do anything but continue forcing myself to move in the direction they wished, opposite the wall Megatron had walked out of.
Door. I corrected myself. I tensed as we came to the wall and I took note that it was similar to the door from the other side and just as before, it too hissed and opened, sliding away. I longed to figure out how it did that but with Starscream and Hook prodding me I could not. Fortunately when I looked up beyond Hook' helm I no longer cared about the doors.
"What…what is tha-t?" I asked, transfixed by the sight. It was Starscream who answered.
"It's a hallway and porthole scrapling. Nothing more, now will you focus on moving those feet?"
"No! N-o-o! In…po…rthole! What…wh…what is th..at?" I pointed again. Or tried to point to the porthole I should say. I almost hit Hook with my shaking hand and I turned to look over my shoulder at Starscream. He raised an optic ridge at me in slight aggravation but followed my erratic gesture. Instantly the sour look on his face lightened imperceptibly and he cocked his head.
"His vocal components are completely glitched! I told you he shouldn't have been moved with his systems still adapting." Hook complained as I heard Soundwave following behind us.
"He is curious. A normal reaction given his CPU design." Soundwave replied but Hook only sighed—a curious process created through a slightly large exhalation of air from one's vents or nasal cavity—a sound I was learning could be used for many different meanings. One them being annoyance.
"Of course the little glitch is going to be curious but still...this is why my way is so much cleaner then cognitive."
"Final warning. Do not bring up that subject around..."
Starscream ignored them, as did I, so enraptured by the sight of a strange sphere looking back at me from beyond the porthole.
"That is a whale." Starscream finally answered his tone noticeably softer. Jerking my feet into going closer I tested the word, scowling at how my vocal components skipped slightly over the strangeness of it. Hook gave a huff before letting go completely, moving away and forcing me to lean against Starscream for balance. His hands tightened on my shoulders as he kept me from falling.
I reached out and touched the glass, gasping a little at how cold it felt but I did not back away, staring back at the spherical orb. The orb was lodged in a strange background of dull gray covered in wrinkles. A fold of the strange gray matter suddenly shifted slowly, closing over the orb for a moment before retreating again to its previous position. Strange black protrusions over this lid gave the entire process a graceful, almost tired look.
"Op-tic…is…optic of…of…wh..ale?"
"Eye. Not an optic. A whale is an organic being. An eye functions just like an optic though." Starscream gestured to the orb's…eye's surrounding matter. "That's flesh, an organic construction similar to plating, wiring, and framework. The eye is an enhanced creation of liquid which uses light to reflect pictures. Not nearly as good as an optic, but still impressive for it being made of liquid."
Slowly the eye moved to the right, out of the porthole's sight and for the longest moment there was nothing but more of the whale's gray flesh. It was bigger then even Megatron! I gapped in astonishment at the amount of flesh passing by the window.
Something rumbled deep in my chassis and I looked around in confusion. Starscream noticed it and sniggered, his smirk returning. "Whales emit a long sub-frequency pulsing. It's singing."
"Sing…ing. Sing…hear…audi…aud…" Finally the mass of flesh ended with an odd protrusion of two sweeping form. The entire thing moving slowly up and down, propelling it forward through…through…
"Wat-t-r!"
"Okay! That's enough bonding with the fleshy, get him in the chamber already Starscream, I'm not going to have Megatron slag me into bits for causing a complete systems-wide crash on the first orn of activation. And since when do you know anything about the fleshies?"
Starscream's voice lost whatever softness it had possessed just moments before as he shifted slightly away from me though I felt his hand still on my shoulder. "What's the matter Hook? You're not afraid of the 'mighty' Megatron are you? Afraid we might harm his new pet project?"
I was far more interested in that dark realm just beyond my shaking reach. I wanted to see the whale again. I was having difficulty trying to understand how liquid could allow something to 'see' like an optic.
Soundwave finally spoke up again. "Hook is correct, Starscream. Apocalypse should not be exposed at this time. It is far too early to show him such things. Already his processor is at five percent above the safety limit."
"Give the scrapling a break; he wanted to see the whale. What should it matter to Megatron if he sees a whale or not?"
Soundwave's voice was much closer before a large, cold hand gently, but firmly, steered me away from the porthole. "His core training has not begun. There is still a sixty-three percent risk of overall failure."
Starscream groaned. "Oh yes, can't let the project fail. Megatron wouldn't be happy, and we can't let that happen, Primus forbid."
"Let's commune with fleshies when the kid's base programs are actually functioning normally!" Hook snapped. Another door swished open and I peered in, curious but still rather hesitant. It was much smaller then the lab and a bit dimmer with a single berth against a wall. There was also no one in it.
"Apocalypse. You will begin training as Megatron has instructed. Understood?" At his voice I turned around a bit to stare at him, unable to do anything more than nod. In truth though I wanted to ask more about the whale and how it was so large and how it lived without wiring.
"Soundwave he won't understand anything. He can't even say his own name without going into a vocal loop!" Hook peered around Soundwave's bulk to stare at me, or rather, glare at me for my inadequacies. Starscream was still keeping a grip on my other shoulder.
I mimicked his facial features to some extent, angered that he obviously hated me so. Everything about this ugly, sharp-edged being set me off from the moment he insulted me. "Wh…wha Megat-ron…ant?" I asked. To say my words stopped Hook and Starscream from their bickering would have been an understatement. Gone was Hook' glare as his optics widened in shock.
"Perhaps I was wrong about him being too stupid." Hook murmured before narrowing his optics and then moving away, back to the lab. "Let me know when this 'conditioning' begins."
"He will be taught. Not conditioned." I would learn that while each of these beings could be pushed or manipulated to varying degrees, Soundwave would always have the last word, even with Megatron on rare instances.
With a shove from both Starscream and Soundwave that was actually quite gentle I fell over, catching the edge of the berth before landing on the floor and turned around just in time to see the door slid shut with a quiet hiss. Through the thick metal I could hear Hook talking to Soundwave but it was in subdued tones and a strange beeping noise was coming from the door before I heard their steps moving away.
Gazing at the four walls I dragged myself onto the berth before lying heavily on it, my internal systems humming in agitation. It was the only noise in that hole and it gave me little comfort, being alone for the first time in my short existence. I reverted to counting the tiles in an effort to ignore the increasing thoughts that the walls were closing around me and that I would never be found.
Such were my first memories of leaving the lab.
What can be said about the three who oversaw to my every need? Hook was by far the vainest of my teachers. He always looked down at me yet he strangely fussed over me the most. I will not say he coddled me; for nothing could be further from the truth. But it seemed as if I was of personal interest to him, a project of his own that he had to complete to the best of his abilities. From him I learned that he hated just about everyone, save himself and his brothers. I also learned the stabilities of mathematics, algorithms, shapes, and angles. With his bright green coloring he would impress upon me the importance of perfection. If even a degree was out of alignment then the entire algorithm was worthless. Unless schooling me he rarely came to me of his own will but even as young and simple as I was I realized it was better for my own security.
Starscream was the one who taught me science, the theorizing that lay behind a scientific process. Of the entire group I knew then, he was the most colorful and the most exuberant with his constant barrage of insults to Megatron. I never questioned why he hated Megatron so and to be honest it never occurred of me to ask. At that time I was too busy trying to keep up with Starscream's lessons for despite his tantrums and cowardliness, he was perhaps the best teacher among the Decepticons. I realize this only now, so far from him and his lectures and problems and now surrounded by my own students. Back then I only dreaded his questions for they always seemed to short out my new processor and he always ignored the time allotted for his lessons. Both Hook and Soundwave detested this but in the end neither stepped in to stop Starscream's methods for he did in fact gain results, no matter how his pupil disliked it.
"Think scrapling. Use what you have!" the seeker would often tell me. He loved saying that just as much as he loved calling me 'scrapling'. There was no such thing as not knowing enough in Starscream's opinion. For a creature who would act impulsively for power without knowing all of the facts, such a habit is odd to have.
It was Soundwave though who my favorite of all my teachers. He was a cold, terrible being to look upon, sometimes even worse then Megatron for at least there were emotions to be read on a face. Soundwave only had an almost crude optic-band and a large mask which covered his olfactory sensors and external vocalizer. He taught to me time's passing for I began to dread it whenever he left. Starscream for all his vibrant colors was impatient in nearly all things and Hook was cruel and never seemed satisfied with the results, insulting me indirectly for my short comings. But Soundwave never narrowed his optics when I stuttered or simply even refused to speak out of shame. It was a trial still to communicate despite the work they put forth to correct the problem.
"Wh…y?" I asked him once, just before the lesson was to begin. His optic-band glowed slightly but he showed no irritation.
"You are still a sparkling Apocalypse. It is not uncommon for such 'disturbances' to show themselves."
"Su…pp-osed. Per…fect."
"Negative. Hook' use of the word is detrimental to your teaching. Perfection is a lie for nothing can be perfect." Now he looked irritated, a heavy sigh coming from his side vents as he peered at me. For others it might have been difficult to see his different emotions but I learned his subtle body language and the way his optic-band would glow or fade if he focused on something.
I shook my head at him before pointing to the now-familiar symbol on his chassis and again he sighed, this time from realization. "Megatron also uses the word but it is in a better context. He sees you as a success."
"N…ot. Suc..Suc…tha..t!" I glared at nothing particular, angry I could not say the words that rattled around in my thoughts, begging to be released. A large, navy blue hand rested on my shoulder, making me jerk in surprise. Touch was used little save during manual check-ups or the one time Megatron had touched my face.
"Apocalypse stop. You try too hard and your systems are trying to catch up. Give it time and soon all of your systems will align themselves. And who told you that you were not a success?"
I pointed at my chassis angrily and then at my mouth and throat where my internal vocal components were situated.
"Your processor is adapting itself faster then the rest of your systems. That is all. It is normal."
"No..mal."
"Affirmative. You overwork yourself into performing at capabilities and at levels you are not yet ready for. Give it time."
Time. Time. Time. It was a phenomenon I was growing to hate even in my short exposure to the living world. Seeing my glower Soudwave's hand squeezed my shoulder lightly, comforting. "Our lessons will be changed slightly. In order to practice your literacy, all conversations shall be written. Understood?"
Soundwave for many reasons was my favorite, but I believe he was my favorite for that reason above all else. He gave me the ability to speak without fault. From that point on he and I spoke through datapads and through these datapads I learned about Decepticons. I learned more of my purpose and more of Megatron himself.
But that came later. First and foremost, I learned how to be a Decepticon. This is where my tale truly begins.
Every Decepticon is under Megatron, every single one. Even in his words, Soundwave retained a strict, formal tone that all but demanded one to show respect. With the increased usage of written words, my vocabulary had expanded. Or rather I should say; my understanding of languages expanded. It was a simple matter of learning the written language for I knew and understood with relative ease. It was the syntax, the double meanings of words and phrases which gave me troubles. In the privacy of my room I had supposed that it was due in part to not having enough experience to better categorize each word and meaning appropriately.
Further explanation is needed. How does one rule many? And how many are there who are Decepticon? I typed quickly into the datapad. Both of us were sitting on the floor of the hallway as I had requested for I found relaxing and almost secluded from the rest of my simple world. None of my teachers would enter my tiny compartment (I was expected to rise and wake and meet with them at the precise time allotted for their lessons and/or their checkups on my body) and I detested the lab.
Recall previous lessons Apocalypse. An Empire refers to many and a single individual can lead many. Soundwave sent back. For the most part all that was heard during these lessons was the sound of our vents releasing warm air, and the clicking of metal digits against keys.
I was still confused, I knew only of my teachers and occasionally Megatron but that was all. I do not understand. Forgive. The idea of many is difficult to assimilate.
To be expected. It is only natural that you cannot comprehend the numbers at this time.
How can that change?
With experience. Moving on. Repeat knowledge given on Megatron.
I sighed through my side vents, having learned from Starscream what the expulsion of air could signify in such a context of a conversation. Within what boundaries? I asked.
There was a low rumble of static and internal systems powering in agitation. I winced before typing quickly into the datapad on my lap. What word was not proper? If there was one thing Soundwave did not like, it was poor speech.
Boundaries; incorrect usage. Parameters. Continue.
I filed the change away before doing as instructed. Within what parameters?
Better. What did he do to lead the Decepticon Empire?
He battled for the sport of those who had originally built the Transformers. With each win he coerced more to his side, proving he could win…
"You are thinking about actions. Think about emotional programming instead Apocalypse." Soundwave interrupted. His voice startled me and I eyed him somewhat nervously before trying again.
He won. That is an action. An emotion would be…Soundwave I do not know.
"He showed no fear to those who had forced him to fight." Soundwave again spoke aloud before he began typing in the datapad again. It is one thing to be afraid, as you are afraid of Megatron, but never reveal your fear. Even to him.
I shifted, looking anywhere but Soundwave. It bothered me that Soundwave knew my fear so easily but then I should have known better. Whenever Megatron was near me I felt my internal processes speed up while my motor functions would become forced and cause me to short out at times. It was an irritation to Hook and Starscream because they would spend precious time recalibrating my systems but to me it was an embarrassment.
He does not approve of me then? I asked cautiously.
No.
I gapped first at the datapad and then at Soundwave. Perhaps then Soundwave pitied my idiotic look for his digits flew across the datapad again and I looked at my own screen.
He does not think that of you Apocalypse but you must not show your fear to anyone, myself included. It is dangerous; Decepticons have a basic core program to find and control power, and finding another's weakness is a power. Survival depends on hiding your weaknesses; even those that are merely perceived by yourself are to be kept hidden.
I eyed his words and memorized them as I did with all of his other lectures, written or spoken. But this time it was different for Soundwave was not simply teaching me how to succeed to Megatron's expectations. He was teaching me how to survive amongst those I would call brethren. These words entrenched themselves into my entire outlook on life.
Perhaps if I had been raised under different circumstances then I might have felt uneasy about this new knowledge. Perhaps I would have realized that I was being taught in a roundabout way that my own brethren would seek out my weaknesses to use and even kill me. But I knew only of my teachers and Megatron; I relied on them completely for my every need. To me, what Soundwave had just written was the simple truth; I did not question the ethics behind it. I merely agreed to hide my weaknesses and Soundwave continued in questioning my knowledge on Megatron's rise to power in the initial years.
In my room though, away from the lessons I made a vow to myself. I would make Megatron proud of me; I would become a true Decepticon, one who would have no weaknesses to speak of. Why hide my weaknesses if I can be rid of them completely?
I began to say the lessons of my day out loud in the safety of my room, forcing myself to start over every time I failed to say a word perfectly. I ignored the warnings which flashed over my visions, instead I learned to reroute power to my vocal components and I learned to speak extremely slowly to better say the words.
And at the end, before slipping into recharge, I would repeat Soundwave's words, holding them close to my spark.
"Sur…vi…vaaal de…pennnds on hi-ding yourrr weaknesses…"
A/N: Lykurgos was the very reason why ancient Sparta became a military power in ancient Greece. He created unwritten laws and while some rebelled against his strict, almost brutal laws, the majority agreed to them out of a need for stability.
In order to keep the laws untouched, Lykurgos made the Spartans vow that they could not change the laws until Lykurgos returned to Sparta from a trip. Lykurgos never did return to Sparta though and at his death he ordered that his body be cremated and spread to the winds rather then brought to Sparta for proper burial. If one thinks about it, Lykurgos was probably the Teacher of all Spartan soldiers.