Disclaimer- This is a fanfiction. I only own Holly and Haru. Everyone else is just here because I tell them to show up.
So one day, Zach decided to make sashimi and ramen noodles for everyone. Everyone looked down at the meal placed in front of them and thought the same thing.
" Is the sashimi supposed to be moving?"
But the ramen noodles were pretty good so it balanced out the universe.
" Ok folks" said Kato, " Today's topic is-"
Just then there was a knock at the door.
" Not it!" Kato shouted
Two other members were able to shout "Not it", leave Haru "It" to get the door.
Haru looked through the peephole to see a familiar man with silver hair and mako infused eyes.
Yes I am referring to Sephiroth. No were not familiar's with Sephiroth..it's just easy to recognize him...
Haru opened the door cautiously.
" Can I help you?" Haru asked.
" I'm looking for this man" Sephiroth said and held up a picture to Haru's eye level.
The picture was of Zach.
" Oh…hold on" Haru said then shouted to the kitchen, " KATO! SOME GUY IS LOOKING FOR ZACH!"
Everyone was sitting in the front room.
" So why do you need Zach?" Kato asked.
" A few hours ago your friend prayed for a quick and painless death" Sephiroth said, " I am here to carry out that prayer"
Everyone gasped, they were shocked to hear that Zach's life might end in the next few moments.
" YOU CAN'T!" Kato shouted, "…He's…he's Zach!!"
" Yeah man.." Ben said, " I own his soul."
Everyone looked over at Ben and Zach.
" It's true" Zach said to everyone, " I sold my soul to Ben back in '02 for a bag of chips."
" Oh..so desu ne?" Kato said.
Unfortunately during our absence, Kato has gotten into a habit of saying random things in Japanese. "So desu ne?" meant "Oh is that so?".
" I don't care who sold what" Sephiroth said, " Zach's going to die by my hands, today!"
A few moments of silence went by. Ben stood up and was about to go into a demonic mode (this hasn't been seen since O:PF…scary thought)
" Your going to have to get though me!" said Youkai-Niisan.
Everyone (minus Sephiroth) was moving away from Ben. In a flash, a sword was drawn and sheathed. Sephiroth gave Ben a warning…ano.. hair cut.
" Huh.. What the?!-" Ben looked around and noticed he got a hair cut, " WHAT THE HELL!? NOOOOOOOO!"
While Ben was busy sobbing in the corner, everyone else was trying to figure out some way to keep Zach from dying.
" Are you done saying goodbye? I do have other places to be" Sephiroth said, sounding agitated.
"…W-wait!" Kato said, " What if…what if I told you where Cloud was?"
It was a long shot.
" Go on.." Sephiroth said, sounding very interested.
Everyone looked over at Kato with the same look on their face. The type of look that said 'what the fuck Kato?'.
" Yes..Cloud is…at the…..edge of town" Kato said, pausing between every few words so she could keep her story straight, "..staying at…a…five and a half…seasons.."
Now, Sephiroth was a man of high intelligence. He was at least 85 positive that Kato Shingetsu was making up the whereabouts of Cloud Strife. However, it's also very possible that Kato Shingetsu had a speaking disability that made it difficult for her to form rational sentences.
" Alright then Shingetsu…take me to Cloud" Sephiroth demanded, " If your lying..I'll kill you"
So Sephiroth led Kato to the door. Zach gave a sigh of relief.
" Your coming too" Sephiroth said to Zach.
" God damnit" Zach mumbled and walked off with writer and megalomanic.
A few moments later, the door opposite front entrance opened. In walked Steven.
"…What I miss?" he asked.
After a few minutes of relaying the story to Steven, Ben pounded on the table.
" Damn it we have to do something!!" he said.
" And what do you suggest we do Aniki?" Holly said, " None of us are actually strong enough to take on Sephiroth"
" What if..we found Cloud.." Steven suggested, " think about it. If Sephiroth's is here in the area then Cloud could be as well"
It sounded crazy but it could work.
" Alright!" Haru said, " Lets go find Cloud"
Haru stood up with a fist raised in triumph. Everyone stared at the sabaku-kitsune with a raised eyebrow.
" Your not going Haru" Holly said dully.
" Yeah" Ben said, " This whole thing is your fault"
" W-what" Haru shouted, " I…I didn't do anything!!"
" Yes you did!" Steven said, " You opened the door."
" You weren't even here when Sephiroth abducted Kato and Zach" Haru complained.
" I was busy making a mod Guitar Hero" Steven said coolly.
" Yeah. See Haru, Steven actually does stuff around here" Holly commented.
So Holly, Ben and Steven left to try and find Cloud. Haru just sat there at home and decided to be emo about the situation.
" My life is just a black abyss…it's so dark.."
At this point you're probably wondering what happened to Kato and Zach. And it this time I realize that ABSOLUTLY no one reads this story. So if I were to…oh I don't know…make a yaoi on the spot right here right now-
We go back to the actual story because Zach was screaming his head off.
The three were on the city bus when this happened. People were moving away from Zach because they were fearing for their lives.
" What's wrong?!" Kato asked
" Someone said the word yaoi…THE HORROR!!" Zach shouted.
" Don't worry Zach" Kato said, " Where there's yaoi…yuri is not to far behind"
Zach paused for a moment…then grinned.
" I hope you two remember that if I find out your lying I'll kill you" Sephiroth said to break up the mood.
" Uh…Were both thinking about yuri right now" Kato said, " If we die, it'll be in our happy place"
Everyone on the bus turned and looked at Kato Shingetsu with wide eyes.
" That's right" Kato Shingetsu shouted, " I SAID IT! I SAID HAPPY PLACE!"
Anyway the bus made its final stop and the remaining passengers were forced out of the bus. Fortunately for us the only passengers left were Sephiroth, Kato and Zach. They were out in the middle of nowhere. The bus turned around and left.
" Ah Christ…" Kato mumbled, " That was the 237 bus…"
The two looked back at Kato.
" Yeah we were supposed to take the 235" Kato admitted, " While we were on the bus I had tat irking feeling that we were on the wrong bus….Sorry 'bout that"
"ENOUGH!" Sephiroth shouted and was about to go off on the whole, ' I knew you were lying' rant.
" Yes, yes, yes" Kato said, " Lying and Clouds and yuri. C'mon kill me already"
Zach had one of those wide-eyed anime faces. He went over to Kato.
" Are you out of your fucking mind?!" Zach asked.
" Yes…" Kato said, " Besides everyone knows what's ganna happen. Sephiroth's ganna try to impale me but then Cloud will magically appear out of no where and save our sorry asses."
Alas my dear audience, this did not happen. Sephiroth, irritated at Kato's predictions, decided to kill Kato right then and there by stabbing her in the stomach. There was a two second period where Kato was staring off into dead space.
"This…is…my…st" Kato managed to say.
The she keeled over and died.
Yay.
" HOLY F&!!" Zach shouted.
Now even though Kato had just died, her prediction did come to pass. Cloud DID end up magically appearing. He too unfortunately got on the 237 bus instead of the 235.
So really…Kato wasn't lying….it was all just bad timing.
If your all wondering how Cloud defeated Sephiroth, just watch the Advent Children fight sequence again.
Now here's the weirdest part of the story. Zach was busy watching Cloud fight Sephiroth. When he looked back to where Kato's body was…it was gone.
DUNDUNDUNTHISISAHORRIBLESTORYDUUUNNNNNNNNNN!!
Anyway Zach overreacted and went back to the house and began to gather supplies.
A few hours later, Steven, Holly and Ben came back home. They were amazed that Zach was still alive.
" Where's Kato?" Steven asked.
" She's dead" Zach said, " But…guys…we have a bigger problem! I think Kato's a zombie!!"
TO BE CONTINUED!!