Author's Note: The McAbby wedding shall be in the next chapter. This one is the bachelor/bachelorette party. You'll see why they're combined in a second.
After this, I'm going to focus on TIVA and their families.
And a certain bastard will get a well deserved ass kicking.
As for my next fic, I'm going to do angsty love quadrangle fic for Grey's.
It's going to be AU after Yesterday with no MerGe sex and plenty of jealous! McDreamy.
Yeah, I know it's been done before but I couldn't resist.
Anyway, back to the story.
Disclaimer: NOT MINE. I'D SETTLE FOR 20 BUCKS AND A NIGHT WITH TONY, THOUGH.
"I can't believe you're getting hitched man! I thought you were gay!"
Tim glared at his old college roommate but downed a beer instead of shooting him.
Harry Morison was a neurosurgeon at Johns Hopkins and they were still close enough for him to be an usher.
"Why does everyone keep saying that?! I don't have any homosexual tendencies!" he yelled over the loud music.
"Yeah, Probie but you've never been in a serious relationship with a chick that we knew about! Except for Abs, of course! The idea is actually pretty solid!"
"Up yours, Tony!"
He didn't want to be here. Tony and Harry had dragged him to a strip club in Georgetown.
It was loud, dark, and full of naked (or nearly naked) women, all eager to grind on him for a couple of bucks and a good time.
A normal man would be all over them like a dog in heat.
Tim was not a normal man.
He was perfectly content at home, working on another novel. He had plenty of material now, especially with all the changes that had happened amongst the team. Yes, he did get his Thom E. Gemcity ideas from his real life but in the interest of self preservation, he wouldn't be admitting it anytime soon.
Besides, writing soothed him, something his needed at this time.
After all, getting married was a serious, life changing endeavor, one that deserved sufficient mental preparation.
Tim was pretty sure that getting toasted and having a fake breasted blonde grind on him was not his idea of mental preparation.
Besides, the only naked woman he wanted all over him was his Abby.
After he politely turned away yet another stripper, Harry snapped.
"Come on, man! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Harry asked indignantly.
"What do you mean?!"
"Dude, we're in a strip club, it's your bachelor party, and you've done absolutely nothing cool! It's like college all over again!" he complained.
Harry had always been the partier in college.
With his spiky black hair and motorcycle, he got more ass than a toilet seat.
Tim had stuck to the books and had only slept with one girl the whole time.
"I don't want to be here!"
"You know what; I think you really are gay and are using this chick as a cover!" Harry barked.
Enough. No one was going to sit here and demean what he felt for Abby, even if the jackass was drunk.
"Now, you listen to me, you son of a ...!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, it is amateur night and we've a hot bride to be in the house tonight! She's getting up on stage so let's give her our support! Give it up for Abigail!" the emcee called from the stage.
Tim's jaw dropped as he saw Abby strut onto the stage like she owned it to the cheers of the crowd.
Under her black leather trench coat, he could see his favorite red lingerie on her.
A pair of red fuck me heels finished the look and he was achingly hard for her, his indignant rage forgotten.
Tony was grinning and it hit him.
"You knew about this!"
"It was Ziva's idea! She said that Abby didn't want to be away from you because she thinks the not seeing the bride thing's bullshit! Go on over there, man!" he urged.
He got up and sat near the stage, making sure she saw him.
A brilliant smile lit up her face and she climbed down, straddling him.
"Surprise.", she purred.
////////////
Abby was giggling at the dumbfounded look on his face.
When Ziva had brought up the idea of doing this, she jumped at it.
Not only would she get to see her Timmy, she'd get to show off her moves.
Jenny had found pole dancing lessons at a local gym and signed them up.
For the last 4 months, she had learned the fine art of seduction.
She carried herself better and was more eager sexually.
In fact, that's how she ended up pregnant.
"Well, I heard that a hot techno genius was having his stag party here. Are you him?" she cooed, licking his earlobe gently.
He growled and thrust his hips up into hers.
"So, that's a yes? "
"Yeah. What are you going to do to me, Abigail?"
His voice was liquid sex and she quivered.
He had such power over her.
50 cent's Ayo Technology began to play and she began to grind on him, dancing for him.
She shrugged off her trench coat and pinned his wrists down.
"I'm going to make you crazy. I hope your fiancée isn't the jealous type."
"She is, but it's hot."
Both of them laughed, losing themselves to their heat and chemistry.
////////////
He found her sitting on a table, swaying to the music.
A skin tight black t-shirt that said "Shut Up and Dance" clinged to her luscious breasts and a pair of low riders showed her hipbones. Even under the brim of her black newsboy cap, he could see big sepia eyes.
"Hey."
"Well, hello. Come here often?" she purred, leaning forward.
Tony grinned at her playfulness and shook his head, going along with it.
"No, it's my first time."
"Ah, a virgin. I like those." she cooed with cougar grace.
"Really?"
"Oh, yes. They're so eager to please and quite creative."
He came closer and she bit her lower lip.
"Sometimes an experienced man can be good too."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. They know exactly how to touch a woman. In fact, they can make women scream."
Her breath hitched as he stroked up her sides and he whispered into her ear.
"I can make you scream."
Ziva exhaled shakily and let out a light laugh.
"No wonder you were such a man whore. Women must have been throwing their panties at you."
"Nah. So, Probie's AWOL."
"So is Abby. Mission accomplished?"
"I'd say so. Man, I didn't know he could punch that hard. He damn near knocked Harry's teeth out."
She laughed and let him sit next to her, scanning the room with him.
He could see Gibbs and Jenny just going at in a corner and Sarah straddling a football player with a can of whipped cream and a sultry smile.
"Damn. I guess this place reeks of pheromones." he said with a shrug.
"I guess so.", she replied.
They sat in silence for a while before he turned to her.
"Want to make out?"
"I was wondering when you were going to ask. Not here. Come on."
He obediently followed her outside and he pinned her to a wall.
"This seems familiar." she quipped, referencing their fuse lighting night.
"Mmm... Come here, you."
She kissed him desperately, letting her hands slide under his black t-shirt.
A siren made them lurch apart and he looked at a smirking old police officer.
"You kids take that elsewhere."
"Yes, officer. I will take him home and tie him to our bed. Good night."
A good night, indeed, Tony thought as she dragged him by the belt towards the parking lot.