When I woke up, I almost didn't know where I was. Then I blinked and recognized the spacious, luxurious room. Edward's room. The pillow, when I pressed my cheek against it, was cool and clean smelling, like laundry detergent. Not like him, the way it should have. My brain was all too happy to supply a perfect replica of the scent. I sighed and sat up on the makeshift bed, recognizing the awful reminiscent feelings.

Sometimes, when I was caught off guard and not surrounded by all the other Cullens determined to make me feel better, I remembered what it was like being with Edward. I'd been in a dream for those past few months. I knew now that it wasn't healthy the way we'd been obsessed over each other. I'd honestly thought that without him I couldn't live. Well, I'd proven that wrong now, hadn't I?

There was a soft sound from downstairs. A rhythmic thump that must have woken me up. Groggily, having to grasp the towering bookshelf for balance, I got up and left the room. I tried to keep my footsteps soft; the carpet was so thick beneath my bare feet that it swallowed most of the sound anyway.

For some reason, my heart beat faster as I got closer to the kitchen. The thumping got louder, just the tiniest millisecond slower than the sound of my heart, and far louder. It was almost a crack now.

I bounded into the kitchen, fumbled for the light, and my foot caught on the edge of the carpet, sending me sprawling to the floor. I absorbed the impact and awkwardly pulled my hand from where it had landed crumpled under my prone body. Color flooding my cheeks, and I looked up to see Jasper doubled over in laughter.

"You actually scared me for a moment there," he choked out. "My God, Bella, are you hurt?" Then he saw the expression on my face and began laughing again.

"You know I'm not," I grumbled. "Nice chivalry, by the way."

He stopped laughing and in one motion, lifted me up by the armpits into a standing position. "Didn't think for a moment you were really hurt or I'd pull more of an Edward," he said. "I'm not much for the shameless melodramatics."

"What were you doing?" I asked, leaning against the counter and wincing as I felt yet another set of bruises coming up.

"Ah, just kicking the fridge," he said. He fiddled with a piece of his gold blonde hair absentmindedly and moved to stand next to me. When I met his gaze, his eyes were speculative. "It wasn't working properly. But I did actually have something to talk about with you, Bella."

"Oh," I said, curiously. What could he want to talk to me about?

"You're fascinating, for a human," he said, voice still perfectly calm. For the first time, I noticed just how calming it was, low and slightly gravelly, quiet as if he was telling a secret. "Surprisingly resilient."

"That's good?"

He laughed. "Yes. I haven't really talked to you, since the party."

I had forgotten that Jasper was dangerous. He looked almost comically innocuous here in the flourescently lighted, beautiful white kitchen, and with that pleasant smile on his face. The memory of that party, the expression on Jasper's face as he'd come so close to attacking me, all seemed distant now.

"That's just it," he said, suddenly. "You're so comfortable with us I can feel it whenever I'm near you. It's obviously dangerous being with us, as we've proven time and time again. But you seem to thrive on it. We all like having you here, of course, and I know I want you to stay, but why?"
"Why?" I blinked.

"Why are you letting yourself be put in all this danger when you have no motivation? Unless you think Edward's going to come back." His eyes were surprisingly hard.

"He's not," I said. "I know. I just-I like it here, okay? I feel like I should be here."

"Maybe you should," he said. "You're so different from the other humans. Maybe you wouldn't be happy any other way."

"I have a question," I said. It was weird how I could look at Jasper straight on, know he was watching me, without blushing or wanting to look away.

"Shoot."

"How can you be this close to me and not attack me?" Our arms were nearly touching; I could actually feel the cold radiating from him. "I thought-"

"It's not so hard if there isn't blood," he said. "Besides, you're around so much that after a while it gets easier. My guess is it's not anywhere near what Edward had to go through. Just normal thirst." He said it so casually, but I thought I saw him grimace.

"I should go back to sleep," I said suddenly. This was strange, a little too strange for me to take. When did I ever talk to Jasper one on one? We were so different, he and I, or so I'd thought. "Where's everyone else? They can't be sleeping...?"
"No," Jasper said. There was a tiny white line of a scar from his temple to his eye that I'd never noticed. Poor Jasper. It was so hard for me to grasp that he was a fighter. I couldn't begin to think of what he'd gone through before he became a Cullen. "They're out hunting now. Usually they just do what they normally do while you sleep but quieter. It's become a game for them to try and have whole conversations without talking."

"Oh," I said. "But--" How could I have neglected to think about how my staying here would affect everyone else? If only I was like them, I wouldn't have to be the one straggler who everyone had to make exceptions for. But that seemed like a dim possibility now.

"Sleep, Bella," he said, gently. "And, honestly, this family would do anything for you. You have to accept that you are one of us." Then, as I was hovering at the doorway to the kitchen and getting ready to retreat to my warm bed, he was in front of me in a split second.

Then, before I could react, he was tugging on my wrists, pulling me to him. He leaned down and pressed a quick, cool kiss to the forehead. When I blinked, he was across the kitchen, leaning casually against the opposite counter.

"That was very easy," he said. "So maybe Edward wasn't a miracle worker after all." Then he'd disappeared into the shadows and I went back to Edward's room, trying not to mull over what had just happened and search it for meanings.