Title: Dysfunctional Camaraderie
Pairings: IchiHichi (Possible side pairings)
Rating: T+
Warnings: Hichigo's dirty mouth, shonen ai (Slash, Yaoi, whatever), violence, gore, innuendos, mediocre writing skillz.
Summary: IchiHichi. Their relationship was dysfunctional at best, but Zangetsu was going to make them work together even if it killed them.
Disclaimer: I no longer own a working computer. (Cries)
A/N: Hi ya'll! Just as I was going to post this up this morning, this crappy computer deleted it. Thank God Na just sent back the Beta'd version otherwise I would've cried…a lot. This chapter was Beta'd by Na (ShaShiSar221) so give round of applause people! Thanks, Na!
So Christmas has come ad gone, leaving me with a PS3 and an imploded computer (which sadly passed away few days before Christmas in a shower of sparks and smoke as the hard drive caught fire for one unexplainable reason…), hope ya'll got great presents and a nice dinner! New year tomorrow too…
Anywho, I've written up the fourth instalment of Dysfunctional Camaraderie, INTRINSIC: basic, built-in, central, congenital, essential, genuine, inborn, inbred, inherent, native, natural, real, true, etc. Just in case you were curious. Enjoy!
Chapter Summary: Byakuya is not a git and Hichigo apologises…WTF!?
I like to thank:
fendstrat.chick: Thankies! I appreciate it!
Daiymo no Tashio: Thanks!
Greg: Thanks!
Not a member: …Guess you're not a member then? (Gets clubbed) Owww…uhhh, thankies! Hichigo isn't a very good actor; I don't think he even cares though…
phantomschmerz: Don't worry, battle scenes will be longer and more detailed later on, when I get that laptop. Thankies!
From the Psyche Ward: Interesting penname, me like. And thanks for a wonderful review!
SharShiSar221: Thanks for betaing! I really appreciated it!
Drop Of Poison: Thankies!
judikickshiney: Sorry but Na took the position of Beta, thanks for offering though.
YaoiHeartless123: My Compooper is older than the Macintosh…which explains quite a lot. Thankies, I'll be looking forward to your reviews.
jayanx: Yeah, those type of battle scenes piss me off sometimes too and I end up skipping them and missing important points…and Hichigo and Ichigo are extremely volatile Chemistry…which means things heat up quickly yeah? (winks)
Stoic-Genius: That's why it's going to take fricken' forever for them to get together (five or so chapters people!) and to make it seem realistic. Though I'll spoil a bit, Rukia actually helps them get together…ufufufufufuu! And yes, Zangetsu will probably resort to tying them together with chains out of frustration and pumping them full of aphrodisiacs.
anon.: I know! An updates are going to be delayed for a while unfortunately…
xxkiokoxx: Yes. Yes he does. I love possessive Hichigo, ufufufufuuu, pushy seme Hichigo…hehehheh.
FireyFreedom: I love it too XP
Invader-Nehima: Hitsugaya-taichou is one of the best things since canned bread (It exists!), so I couldn't turn him all ebil and snitch like. Chem was easy peasy for moi, but ya know, my Law teacher is a dictator and well…I fear for my life. ; Hopefully I'll live long enough to finish this story or at least have my typing hand not broken.
Barranca: Yosh! Hollow-Ichigo is coolio! I was going to do something totally different then I thought, 'Nah! Let's stick Hollow-Ichigo there instead.' And so I did. XP The computers are conspiring against me and the toaster has been laughing at me . I KNOW IT'S TRUUUUEEEEE!!!
SoraXNamine: Hollow-Ichigo kicks ass.
Kougyoku: Yosh! Go go go! That means that you can't wait for Episode #8 then, ufufufufuuu (thinks perverse thoughts), now whether or not to make it T or M…?
I am happy, I have over 30-ish readers (that is if the anonymous reviews aren't all one person). Right then, let's go go go!
WORDS: 3,172
666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666
"It is because I wanted a toothpick…and also I can kill people I don't like."
"Uuuh, that didn't quite answer my question…"
"So you're the guy who out bid me on eBay! You sniped me at the last minute you ass."
"Ah hah! So you're IchigoLover123! How dare you spam my inbox! I knew you couldn't resist flaming me for outbidding you!"
--- Karin Bloopers, YouTube
66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666
"Hmm...Schizophrenia? Or perhaps MPD...?"
"Something happened to traumatize that poor child...his mother was found horribly disfigured..."
"Two personalities, King...or Ichigo the dominant personality and...the other..."
Golden eyes narrowed at the whispering doctors. Pathetic. King wasn't sick. King was asleep, like Sleeping Beauty. The darker personality almost crooned softly to himself when he felt the Little King sob brokenly in his- their mind, rocking backwards and forwards as the white demons came with their little pointy needles.
He snarled; bristling like an angry cat as one roughly grabbed the nine year old. He hissed and lashed out with small child-like hands, doing nothing against the bulky /pathetic/ human. He spotted Little King's father looking at him with sadness in his peripheral vision.
"Release me, humans! How dare you touch King!" He was pinned down on the thin mattress as the white demon with the needle came forwards. Fire lit itself in his veins as he struggled more violently.
"WHEN I GET MY CLAWS ON YOU YOUR SOULS WILL BE RIPPED APART YOU FILTHY HUMANS!" He screeched in the high pitched voice of a child, golden eyes burning brighter and - unnoticed to the two bulky men - black staining his white sclera. He screamed when the needle plunged into his arm, feeling himself slip away from the world and from the crying Little King.
He himself cried, desperately grasping into the growing darkness in his vision to latch onto his Little King, the sobs making his mind break.
"Little King!" He cried, but too late, the sobs vanished and he was stuck in the darkness, cramped small darkness as he screamed and scrabbled at the invisible black walls for his Little King.
"KING!"
EPISODE #4: INTRINSIC
Zangetsu was going to impale himself with either his favourite perch or...well, himself. The strange conundrum of him existing the same time as himself in Zanpaktou form was something that he puzzled over during the more tediously boring days, but this was the icing on the cake.
Hichigo was sulking - though the albino Hollow vehemently denied that he was sulking merely thinking...but Zangetsu knew he was sulking - and Ichigo was confused and even more stressed thanks to the...INCIDENT.
It seemed that the INCIDENT had allowed the substitute Shinigami and Inner Hollow to become even more aware of each other - right down to minute shifts in reiatsu, and their loudest thoughts being broadcasted unknowingly to each other. Of course, when the Hollow projected – violent – thoughts too loudly, Ichigo came down like the God of Thunder and practically throttled the albino Hollow to 'SHUT THE FUCK UP!' Which the Hollow would then scream the same thing back at the redhead.
Zangetsu sighed despairingly, looking up in trepidation at the gathering clouds. It was like looking after psychotic children diagnosed with schizophrenia and armed with meat cleavers. He shuddered at the thought.
The Zanpaktou was jerked out of his suicidal contemplation by the familiar distorted voice of the other occupant of Ichigo's Inner World. Sending an almost irritated glare at the albino Hollow muttering to himself Zangetsu decided that he needed to light a fire under both of their asses to give him peace of mind. Insanity and suicide was not on his 'To-do List'.
"Why don't you talk to Ichigo?" Zangetsu sighed; he swore that he could see a grey streak in his dark brown hair...
The albino Hollow stared at the Zanpaktou as if he just proclaimed fruit juice caused cancer.
"Talk? As in, talkin' to King?"
Zangetsu couldn't stop his mouth twisting into a grimace. "Do you know any other Ichigo?" Hichigo sneered at the annoyed inflection but regardless, it stopped the Hollow's distracting mutterings.
"I highly doubt his; Highness-ness will even deign to talk to some lowly servant such as I." Hichigo drawled sarcastically. Zangetsu was mildly surprised that the albino Hollow knew what 'deign' was. "Really, I saved his skinny fool-ass from gettin' killed, and he goes all apeshit mad over it. Not even thankin' me..." Ah, the mutters had returned.
A rumble from the sideways sky made the Zanpaktou glance upwards again, the first drop of rain pelting his shades.
"And now he's bein' pathetic! Fuckin' shit on a stick! Can't he fuckin' pull himself together?!" The albino Hollow roared, startling the Zanpaktou slightly. "Whenever he feels fuckin' sad, I get fuckin' rained on and feel it too Goddammmit!" He did a strange dance of frustration, stomping and swooping around with his arms in the air. "I'm either gonna kill him or myself! And you too!"
Yep. Zangetsu was going to impale himself upon the Pole of Ennui to escape this.
Ichigo was now deemed worthy to stare at like an interesting science specimen.
Or...at least, that's what he felt like.
A few days after It, he had become more aware of his inner Hollow's presence - before he just knew it was there lurking about in his inner world doing whatever it is he does but now he could feel the Hollow's reiatsu dip and rise accordingly to his mood, along with some foreign emotions that he knew belonged to the Hollow and garbled faint thoughts.
Right now, frustration and anger was what Ichigo could sense from the albino Hollow and low buzzing of incoherent growls in the back of his head sorely reminding him like a swarm of angry wasps. Obviously the Hollow was suffering the same thing as he was.
Plus, everyone was now spying on him.
He could understand why, really. After all, the second strongest Shinigami suddenly transformed into a Hollow - or rather, that's what he gathered from Rukia as he had no real clue as to what actually happened - and killed off a Vasto Lorde in one shot then turned back into a Shinigami. He was surprised the 12th Division Captain hadn't lunged out from behind a group of trashcans and chloroformed him to drag him off to be vivisected.
Mentally roaring in his mind to the Hollow to be quiet he tried to focus his tired eyes on the paper before him. Of course he couldn't laze around recovering from his near fatal wound without his teachers and family flipping out - since they didn't know of his...occupation - so he had to make an appearance, tired or not.
Blissfully, the angry buzzing stopped and the Hollow's reiatsu dipped lower into calmer levels. He mentally thanked the Hollow and tried to accomplish the homework from the mathematics class that morning.
He stifled a yawn. He hadn't had a good night rest in a while, before and after the little deal that he and the Hollow made, though thankfully the amount of Hollow attacks had dropped drastically within the few days. It made him a little suspicious but his weary mind couldn't be bothered to try and work it out or work himself into a suspicious mood.
He rubbed his eyes. It was hard to concentrate, especially since the buzzing in the back of his head had renewed with vengeance. Casting it off as a lost cause he left the half done - and probably incorrect - mathematical equations on his desk and lethargically threw himself out of his chair and onto the bed next to him.
Pressing his face into the rumpled quilt, he released a harsh exhale of air and tugged at his attention seeking orange hair, wincing when his fingers snagged on a few knots.
He remained in a dazed stupor for a few minutes, listening absently to the incoherent garbles hissing in the back of his mind and the rising and falling levels of the Hollow's reiatsu as it fluctuated with the volume of the growls.
Until he was snapped out of it when a certain plush toy pounced on his head.
A muscle spasmed violently near his left eyebrow as he slowly rose, the gikongan falling forward to meet fiery bronze eyes aiming a splintered glare at the plush toy's beady black eyes.
If looks could kill...
"I'm not in the mood, Kon." Ichigo snarled out, unknowing of the hint of gold flickering in his eyes as his inner Hollow's presence pushed to the forefront of his mind questioningly at his King's anger.
The gikongan released a strangled whimper but crawled forwards. "Ya gotta help me, Ichigo!" The lion plush toy wailed. "Your sister! She's gonna put me in a bikini!"
The substitute Shinigami ruthlessly squashed the mental image before that particular part of his brain suffered intense psychological trauma. "...Why're you telling me this, Kon?" He growled. He was tired, stressed, cranky and the high pitched deranged laughter of his inner Hollow was making his headache throb painfully with each second. "I. Don't. Care. Go hide in the closet or something and leave me alone"
With a yelp the lion plush toy scurried away hastily, terrified by the gleaming molten gold eyes that stabbed him painfully with their intensity, and fled to find another Shinigami to hide behind. He had a high sense of self-preservation and he didn't want to deal with the redhead's insane inner Hollow.
Once the gikongan had fled, Ichigo raised a hand and rubbed at his stinging eyes, the gold ebbing back to bronze, and released another harsh exhale of breath. "Damn. Why'd I become a Shinigami?" He muttered to no one in particular.
Which was why he was suitably startled when he received a response. "To save yer family, King." The mocking lilt of laughter tainting the answer made the substitute Shinigami snarl viciously at nothing in particular.
"You again? Haven't you caused me enough grief?"
"Nope. Not until ya accept that I'm yer partner, aibou." His mocking drawl carried an overtone of a growl, from frustration or something else, Ichigo wasn't sure but the redhead scowled and flopped back onto the bed, facing his ceiling.
"We're not partners." The Shinigami voiced aloud. "More like parasite and unwilling host."
"That hurt, ow."
"Shut it." This lacked his usual venom and instead was steeped in weary defeat. "I'm too fucking tired to deal with you." He flung an arm over his closed bronze eyes. "Too tired to deal with any of this."
The Hollow was silent for a pleasant moment before his distorted voice broke the quiet. "...I guess..." The Hollow paused, the uncertainty in his tone making Ichigo open his eyes in confusion. "That it's my...fault, King." He felt the Hollow retreat deeper into his mind briefly before returning to the forefront, reiatsu pulsing nervously. "I'll take care of any bastard Hollows for ya, King."
Ichigo's lips curved upwards into a sardonic smile. Not quite an apology but it was as close as he was going to get. "Thanks. I didn't expect that from you." Amusement reeled through his mind and violently struck the Hollow over the head as he continued. "Are you sick?" He inquired with mirth.
The Hollow's reiatsu bristled angrily. "No! Ya- fine, see if I try to cheer ya up again!" The albino Hollow huffed, returning once more to his sulky mutterings, Ichigo catching 'ungrateful' and 'bastard' occasionally.
The redhead sighed and grudgingly reached out in his mind to the sulking Hollow.
"Ah...sorry, Hollow..." He mentally mumbled with a grimace. "I'm just a little...stressed...I appreciate it, honestly." He simply received a disbelieving scoff for his efforts but the Hollow was no longer muttering or sulking.
"Hn. Whatever, King. Don't strain yourself." Came the usual venomous retort, though it lacked its usual razor sharp bite to it. "I don't really care anyway." Though by the pleased vibe his reiatsu was emitting belied that statement.
Ichigo smothered a smirk. "Sure, whatever, Hollow."
Rukia bit her lip nervously, wringing her hands together in a rare show of agitation.
Everyone was extremely tense thanks to one, Ichigo Kurosaki. Hitsugaya-taichou had taken it in stride, muttering something about not attacking comrades in this type of situation. Thankfully the rest of Hitsugaya-taichou's Division was in perfect agreement so no torches and pitchforks had been raised within the Gotei 13 screaming for Ichigo's blood (though perhaps it would only be Divisions 11 and 12 that would be raising the torches and pitchforks, 11 for a good fight and 12 for a new specimen to vivisect).
That is why staring at her stoic brother with a tensed Hitsugaya-taichou at her side, Rukia was ready to bolt and let the young prodigal captain deal with it.
"The intelligence squad had witnessed a strange occurrence three days ago concerning Kurosaki." Byakuya murmured in his usual monotone, grey eyes boring into her own eyes with such intensity it was almost as if the dark haired Shinigami was trying to pluck the answers from her brain.
She wouldn't be surprised if he could.
"Is that so?" Hitsugaya-taichou stated with equal blandness. The white haired captain's muscles were tense. Rukia hoped that no punches would need to be thrown.
"Yes." Byakuya's expression twisted oddly into an unexplainable smirk. "Which is why I told them to disregard it entirely and not to inform Division 12's captain."
Wait...WHAT!?
The completely shocked and bewildered look on Rukia's face was comical as she stared disbelieving at her elder brother. He actually protected Ichigo!? The one who carved him up!? (Granted Byakuya tried to do the same but...)
Rukia was glad she wasn't drinking anything around that time otherwise the sixth Division captain would probably have had an impromptu spit shower.
Hitsugaya-taichou weathered it the best, only blinking slightly before regaining his composure and nodding. "It would be best to not turn a powerful ally to Aizen, regardless of...what he is."
Rukia shook her head. This was just too damn confusing.
Rustic eyes glittered malevolently as the male landed without a sound on the cool tarmac. Unnoticed by the passing humans, the gaping black gargantua's maw closed with a sickening smack and the white haired male nimbly evaded a passing car, the masquerade-esque bone white mask glinting eerily in the twilight.
"Ichigo...Kurosaki..." The soft rich murmur disappeared and vanished amidst the cacophony of car engines and human conversation.
The hole over the male's heart was brushed over by crimson nailed fingers.
"I'm coming for you."
6666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666
THINKING CORNER
Phew! That's one chapter done, now to do the next! I realised that Chad hasn't appeared yet, or Tatsuki, and this is the only chapter that Kon appears in…hmmm…I need to add more members of BLEACH™ in…
Who is this mysterious Arrancar? Will Ichigo be able to defeat him? Why am I asking you? Guesses are welcome, bwuahahahahahahhhaaaa! (Will not admit she had lost planning sheet for next chapter.) Wha? Shut up you! I have not! (She has.) Dammit! Shut up!
PREVIEW: EPISODE #5: RUMBAIchigo: Who the Hell is this guy? And where are the others!?
Sorry, Kurosaki, but they're a bit busy with some Hollows…now then, take this!
Ichigo: What the-!? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER OF DYSFUNCTIONAL CAMARADERIE!
KIVAEMBER! OUT!