I sniffle the last bits of sorrow for this round of tears. It had been a while since I cried this hard. And it was all the baby's fault.

Well, I'd like to blame it on the baby, but it can't help its parentage.

The morning started out pleasant… well, as pleasant as it gets around here. I sat my slightly swollen self at the kitchen table with a sigh, remembering last night's dream. Just as the remnants of the affect was wearing off, I heard Kikyo yell from the kitchen, "What are you craving today, Kags?"

Before I even realized it, my mouth moved.

"Ramen… and scrambled eggs. And put some-"

I choked up in absolute horror and found myself running to my room again to bawl my eyes out.

You'd think I'd figure that any child of Inuyasha's would cause me to crave something so outrageous but it caught me entirely off guard. I couldn't handle the flashbacks that streamed into my mind and I began to feel nauseous and dizzy while I cried. I ran to the bathroom dry heaved into the toilet, crying all the way.

When I was done I looked in the mirror at the reflection I usually saw after another crying bout. That same woman, filled with sorrow and pain, only plumb in the face because of a forced diet for the being growing inside.

It was then that I realized something: it had been five months. Five months. And I hadn't stopped crying. Yes, he was the love of my life. And yes, he meant everything in the world to me. But, he was also my inspiration. And, there I was with the nerve to sit there and do nothing with myself? Cry myself into oblivion and sleep and eat all day? Watch sad lifetime movies and wallow in my sorrow? What would he say if he so me like that?

"Get off the damn couch, Kagome!"

He was always so full of life and energy. He was the one that inspired me to be all I could be while all I wanted was to be with him. I should have been ashamed. I was ashamed.

That's how I found myself standing in the kitchen again with a determined disposition.

"Um… you okay, Kags?"

"I want to work."

Her eyes went wide as she placed the warm pan back on the counter and walked toward me.

"What?" she asked dumbly.

I forced myself not to roll my eyes. "I want to work. At the bakery. I'm going to ask Yumi today."

Kikyo looked at me strangely for a while, then sighed and smiled. "Kagome… you need to rest. Why don't you get in the bed and I'll bring you-"

"No!" I exclaimed. I couldn't believe that she wouldn't see how serious I was.

"Kagome you are in no place to work!" she exclaimed, seemingly mortified. "You're pregnant. You shouldn't be taking on any… job that could cause you stress!"

"I'm only five months!" I protested.

"Only five months?! Kagome you don't even go to your check-ups or take your prenatal pills all the time. What makes you think you can handle… did the baby just kick?"

I had tried to hide my grimace when I felt the little monster kick me in the ribs, but it seems I'm not great at hiding how I feel. Especially not these days.

I held my head high. "I'm fine and will be fine, Kikyo. Mom never took her pills when she was pregnant with me, and I turned out fine."

I watched as she tried to hold in the remark that I saw swimming in her eyes and I glared at her, daring her to let it come out of her mouth.

"Look, Kags… you don't even know what sex the baby is."

"Why does that even matter right now?"

"Because if you were going to your check-ups like you should be, you would know! You don't take care of yourself enough to get a job, much less your baby!"

I was appalled. I was doing the best I could, right? I didn't even think I could see the gender right now. I never had an ultrasound because I was grieving. Mourning. What did she expect from me?

'She expects me to take care of my child…'

I sighed. Had I been neglecting my baby? Yes… I had.

"Fine…" I sat down in my chair and placed my head in my hands. "But… when the baby is born and I can find a baby-sitter, I'm going to get that job. I need to do something in my life… I don't want to be an old lady with no job…"

Kikyo rolled her eyes, "For the last time, Kagome, you're… not… old. You're only 26 for goodness sake! You're young for a…"

I looked up at her then, knowing what her words were going to be. She seemed to be choking on them and her face was turning pink. I wanted to slap her for what she was about to say, but I refrained. She was still slightly unaffected by this change in my life, and her innocence was something she was trying to hold on to. I wasn't going to deny her something that was no longer mine.

"Say it. A widow."

She sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm still not over the fact that… never mind. What kind of position do you even want at the bakery? Are you actually going to… bake?"

The anger I felt was suddenly replaced by an amusement that never quite reached my face.

"What?" I replied. "Are you implying that I can't bake?"

A small smile graced my younger sister's lips. "I'm not implying anything. I'm telling you, Kagome, that unless you want to place to run to the ground, you should be a cashier."

Sorry it took so long to update. I've been extremely busy with school and now I'm sick. I built up enough strength to post this.