The Cry of Cicadas

Part Three: A man with a lying face

I spent the rest of the day in a holding cell. Matsuda explained to my father and myself that the next morning, he would take me out to the rehabilitation center. Dad left that afternoon. His last words to me were, "Don't mess this up, Raito. You've got the perfect chance to make things right again."

Sitting in a dank cell with nothing to entertain myself, I started thinking about a lot of things. Even if I went through the Drug Court, would I be one of the thirty percent who didn't get clean? In some ways, I wanted to get help and go back to being normal but in others, I wanted things to keep going the way they were. Taking steps to fight off an addiction seemed like a difficult task to me. Despite the fact that it was a little intimidating, I had never been one to back down from a challenge.

But the question now was did I really want to be helped?

This was all up to me now, just as it had been. If I made the wrong choice, my life would continue to spiral downward. If I made the right choice, who knew what would happen. I knew I wanted to do something with my life and dying of a drug overdose really was not that something. Because of that, the conclusion I kept coming to was that I needed to do everything I was told in the program. Dying early in life was not something I had on my agenda, but if cocaine did still play a part in my life after my release, that would be fine with me. My parents had been ignorant of it for two years so I doubted it would be hard to keep it secret again.

That night was the longest night of my life. I knew I was about to hit a major turning point but I wasn't sure what would happen once I got passed that point. The only thing I could do was take my chances. I'd been in risky situations before so this would probably be no different. All I could do was wait for the morning to come.

I didn't know what time it was when Matsuda unlocked the door to my cell and told me to follow him. He said little to me as he led me out the back entrance to the police office. I was a little surprised he had not put me in handcuffs but in my weakened state, he probably knew I was not much of a danger. When he held open the door to the back of the police car for me, I looked over at him, trying to see if I could get a hint of what he must have thought of me. Unlike my father, though, Matsuda's expression was unreadable. He just waited patiently for me to get into the car, which I did after discovering that he couldn't be read so easily.

The back of the car smelled like some sort of pine air-freshener. Matsuda readjusted his rear view mirror and started the car. As the car backed out of the parking lot and entered the street, I found myself watching Matsuda again. He kept glancing at me, through the mirror, as if there was something that he wanted to say. I could imagine there were a number of things, since he had known me for a while. As a cop, he was probably ashamed of himself for not picking up on the hints about my addiction sooner. After all, every addict has his or her own little quirk, whether it's "the junkie shake" or constantly pinching their noses, there is always something that makes it easy to notice that something is not right.

It was an uneventful, silent ride to the rehabilitation center. I was surprised to see that it was not in Tokyo, but I supposed that was done for a reason. Most of the patients were from Tokyo, I assumed, so if they were kept in the city where they'd been introduced to drugs, it might make it easier for them to gain access to them again. This town, Yokosuka, was twenty minutes away from Tokyo. I had been there a few times with my friends but I rarely had any desire to go there on my own.

The center itself was a large, two story complex. It was pretty much how I'd pictured it in my head—only three buildings, surrounded by trees. Everything about it screamed mental asylum. I wondered if that was what it had been before it was turned into a rehabilitation center. On the inside, I was sure it was just as clean cut. In a way, this was like being sent to prison, but it was not going to be as harsh.

I could already tell this was going to be a joke.

We went through the automatic doors, immediately coming up on a lobby. To the right of the reception desk was a bulletin board with pictures of patients who came out of the program clean. Off to the left was a set of doors that led to the rest of the center. A young woman sat behind the desk, tapping away on a computer. It took her a moment to notice us, but when she did, she fixed Matsuda with a big smile and then turned to me. "Can you please go wait in the room to the left, Yagami-kun?" she asked me. She must have had something to discuss with Matsuda that they did not want me to hear.

Matsuda looked at me, uncertainty apparent in his eyes. "Raito, you be careful, ok?" he said, "Don't do anything to get sent to jail…"

"I'll be careful…" What did Matsuda take me for? I wasn't stupid enough to get sent to prison and even if I was, I wanted to get out of this place so badly that I was going to follow the orders I was given with the utmost certainty anyway. I opened the door and went inside. It was a typical waiting room, complete with the uncomfortable plastic chairs and a television showing the news on an inaudible volume. To my surprise, some of the patients were in there. Most of them were sitting together, playing a game of cards. They were laughing and joking with one another. It seemed like they were having a good time.

One was off by himself, watching the television with wide eyes. His knees were up against his chest and he kept his hands planted on top of his knees as if he was waiting for something to jump on. I noticed he wasn't wearing any shoes. His toes were wiggling almost nonstop. To say the least, he was very strange.

I sat down as far away from him as I could manage, which was unfortunately, the chair right under the television. It was unnerving to be in there, but to know that there was some crazy patient staring definitely did not help the matter. Still, I did my best and tried to ignore his gaze, telling myself that he was still watching the news. I had more important matters to think about. Matsuda was probably hitting on the receptionist, delaying any possibility there might have been for me to move on and get out of the waiting room.

As I imagined what Matsuda was talking about, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the shoe-less patient climb off of the chair he'd been crouching in. He stood up, although he was still hunched over, and shuffled toward me. I sighed. This guy was probably still doped up from his last hit, judging by his odd behavior. I didn't look at him directly, but I saw him give me a once over. He climbed onto the chair next to me and stared right at me. There were dark bags under his odd, buggy eyes.

"You must be Yagami Raito," he said. His voice was quiet and had a spacey quality to it, as if he was not aware of where he was.

I did not like the fact that he knew my name; it made me think that Matsuda had contacted the center earlier and then the workers had gone on to inform all the patients that I'd be coming there. "Yeah, that's me," I said, "How do you know my name?" Something told me that this guy was not going to give me a direct answer.

He sighed and rocked back and forth for a moment. "People talk, Raito-kun, and I listen," he replied, "It's not hard to realize that you're who I said you were. The receptionist works with us and I heard her last night talking on the phone, probably to the cop who brought you here. She has a habit of repeating what she's told. That's how I knew your name. 'Oh, all right, Yagami Raito, check in at nine thirty AM.'" When he repeated to me what she'd said, his voice raised an octave.

"Oh…" What was I supposed to say to that? I certainly had not been expecting that kind of an answer. Maybe if I ignored him, he would go away and bother someone else. I just wanted to be left alone.

"By the way," he said, leaning even closer to me, as if he was cautious of someone overhearing him, "My name's Ryuga Hideki." What was this guy thinking? I knew that Ryuga Hideki was a famous singer. He was pulling my leg. The very thought that he would share that name was stupid. Did he honestly think I'd fall for such a joke?

I frowned and looked straight at him, our noses practically hitting one another. "Yeah right," I said as I backed up a little, "Ryuga's a singer. What's your real name?" I didn't understand why this guy was telling me a fake name. Then again, I doubted I'd be able to figure out most of the people in this place. I wondered if all of the patients were going to be like this. If they were, then I almost thought prison might be better.

"It's L," he immediately replied. L. Of all the letters to choose, he chose that one. Not surprisingly, he pronounced it 'e-ru,' the sign of someone who was not very familiar with the English language. This also could not be his real name. I didn't understand why he kept giving me all of these terrible aliases.

I decided not to push it any further. It was up to him whether he told me his real name or not. "Ok, L," I said with a shrug. As far as I was concerned, that was the end of our conversation. I had nothing more to say to him and I hoped he felt the same way.

L frowned and tapped his index finger against his lip. "It's not my real name, you know," he said, as if he wanted me to guess what his name actually was.

"I figured as much." It really did not bother me that he didn't tell me what it was. Why should I let something so insignificant get to me? I had bigger issues to deal with and guessing some junkie's real name was not one of them.

"You don't want to know what it is?" L asked, tilting his head so he could look at me from a different angle. I wondered how long L had been in the program. This was probably only his second day, since he'd said that he overheard the receptionist talking about me. I doubted he had been here for long because of his incredibly odd behavior. Even if that was the case, I knew I was not going to be that crazy by tomorrow. That was not something that happened over night.

I shook my head. "It's your business whether you tell me or not," I said. I began regretting even saying anything to him. L just seemed way too out of whack to be the regular, run-of-the-mill junkie. There was something different about him…but that was probably just because of the fact that he was being such an idiot.

"Suit yourself," L said with a shrug, "How long do you think you'll be in here for?" It was not surprising that he wanted to keep our conversation going. He was probably desperate for someone to talk to. It was obvious that the people playing cards did not want him around them. It was kind of sad, but not sad enough to get me to feel sorry for him and try to make friends with him.

"Probably a few weeks," I replied. There was no way I could know for sure. How long could something like rehab take though? Certainly not more than two months, I figured.

"I've been here for a year."

Whether L was telling the truth or not, it was still a bit of a shock. People who stayed that long were probably never going to get better, so there was no point in keeping them around. I knew that the doctors, therapists, and judges were not willing to give up on someone who was determined to get better. If it was true, then L must have been very determined but very addicted at the same time. There was no telling how much damage he'd done to himself with whatever drug or drugs he'd been using. Judging by the way he acted, he'd abused himself much more than I did.

"You're lying, aren't you?" I asked, hoping he'd say yes. It was weird to think that there were people who'd been here for a year, possibly even longer.

L gave me a confused look. "Why would I lie, Raito-kun?" he countered, "Does this look like a lying face to you?" He seemed genuine, which was disturbing. Another thing that bothered me was the way he looked at me. His eyes were practically round, as if he'd just seen someone killed right in front of him. It was almost like he was desperate to get me to believe him.

I wanted to smack myself in the face. L was really starting to get on my nerves. "You lied about your name," I said, trying not to react. I assumed that was what he wanted. People acted in strange ways so for L to want to agitate me really would not be strange.

"I just wanted to see how you'd react," L said simply. He was talking to me as if he was some sort of therapist, which I knew he was not. It was irritating to hear those words. So he was not trying to find someone to just talk to—he wanted someone to observe and make conclusions about.

The idea that I was being the observed one was enough to make me want to get up and move. Despite that urge, I didn't want to just get up and go somewhere else because something told me that even if I did, L would just follow me and keep spouting off about how Ryuga Hideki was his twin brother or something equally as unrealistic.

L looked up at the ceiling, a somewhat thoughtful look on his mostly vacant face. "I don't think you'll be here for a few weeks," he said, pausing to let me wonder what he was going to predict, "I bet you'll be here for months, at least." Even if his prediction turned out to be true, I hoped that those months would not be spent around him. The center was not very big though, so I would probably be running into him often.

"What makes you say that?" I asked, humoring him.

"Cocaine addicts always have trouble. Don't be surprised if you get really itchy," L said. That much I already knew. I tried to ignore it, but sometimes I couldn't stop scratching my arms or anywhere else for no reason at all. It was because of the drug, that much I knew, but I did not understand why L thought it was necessary to tell me that. "Still…" he went on, "You're lucky. You're not as messed up as most of the people here so maybe you're right. Maybe you will get out in a few weeks, but I doubt it…and I'm usually right when I've got a hunch."

I smirked. In a few weeks, when I'm out of here, I thought, we'll see who's right.

(Author's Note: L is finally here! Whoo! Anyway, this didn't take long at all to write. :3; Once again, thanks to all the lovely people reading and leaving comments/reviews! You guys rock:D Please stay tuned for the next chapter.)