Notes on an Aftermath
Chapter Eight: Impasse
Against his own better judgment, and against the advice of Fin to give Casey a few days to cool off, Chester is going up the steps to Casey's porch. The lights are on in her living room, so he knows that she is still up. He takes in a deep breath and then lets it out before he rings the doorbell. He waits for a few moments, then the door is opened forcefully and she steps outside.
"I don't want to see you," she hisses. "You leave me alone."
"Casey please just calm down-"
"You want me to calm down!?" She yells tearfully. " That's all you can say after all that you've put me through, you tell me to calm down!? What the hell is wrong with you!?"
Chester sighs. "I just want to talk to you."
"Now you want to talk?" She asks angrily. "How can I possibly believe anything that comes out of your mouth now, huh? I begged you to talk to me, to help yourself, but lucky for you, the evidence bailed you out. What's happening between us now? It's your fault because you wouldn't tell me the truth. You're a liar, Chester, and I don't want to be in a relationship with someone I can't trust."
"Okay, you want to talk trust?" He asks, getting irritated. "Fine. When were you going to tell me that you're pregnant? Or were you ever going to tell me?"
She looks at him incredulously. "How did you know?"
"Olivia told me when she and Fin came to visit me at Riker's," he explains.
"Olivia told you," Casey says, shaking her head. "I can't believe she went behind my back."
"It's a damn good thing she did," Chester huffs. "How can you not tell me? How can you lie to me?"
"My pregnancy has nothing to do with this!" She yells. "Even if I didn't tell you before, I would never lie to you! I have never lied to you, ever! I don't deserve what you're doing to me, Chester! I don't deserve this!"
She covers her face with her hands as she cries.
He sighs, feeling like a complete asshole.
"Sweetie," he says softly, putting his hand on her shoulder, but she pulls away.
"Don't you touch me!" She screams. "Get the hell away from me!"
"Case, please," he says. "I'm sorry."
Casey wipes her tears and shakes her head. "And what? I'm just supposed to forgive you? I mean, is that your way of telling me to let you off the hook and pick up where we left off?"
"I want to work this out with you," he says sincerely.
"But I don't want to work it out with you," she says, her voice quivering. "Not right now because you've broken my heart, you've hurt me so much, you've hurt me in ways I didn't think you were capable of. I'm not ready to let you back in, Chester."
"What about the baby?" He asks.
"Oh, that's not going to work either," she says harshly. "If you think that bringing the baby into this is going to make me change my mind on how I feel, then you better think again."
"Don't you think we should try?" He argues. "For the baby's sake?"
"Absolutely not!" She yells. "No! You should be in my life because you want to be, not out of obligation. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself and this baby!"
"I don't want you to have to raise our child alone," he says. "I want to be in your life, I want to be involved in our baby's life."
"Really?" She asks, crossing her arms over her chest. "Tell me, how do you really feel about this baby, Chester?"
Chester runs his hand over his face and he sighs. "I-I'm not sure…I mean, I'm scared, Casey. I'm scared because we didn't plan this baby and we never talked about having kids. I just don't know what kind of father I'd be or if…"
He trails off and she steps closer to him.
"If what?"
"If…I'd be able to be there," he confesses. "Really be there the way a father should."
Casey looks away. "So you're not even sure if you'd stick around…that's just great…"
"That's not what I'm saying," he huffs, irritated with her stubbornness at the moment.
"No, I know exactly what you're saying," she says. "I've put my heart and soul into our relationship, into loving you, and after a year and a half, it obviously wasn't worth a damn to you."
"You know that isn't true, Casey," he says firmly.
She pushes her hair behind her ears.
"Things aren't going to be easy…for either of us, Chester. This whole thing is nothing compared to what's ahead. I'm going to lose my job, your career is on the line now, I'm pregnant…our baby will be here in December. Things are going to change and we're going to need each other now more than ever. How can you possibly expect me to work this out with you when you're not even sure you're going to stay? How do I know that you'll be by my side and help me through this when you were so willing to leave me now?"
"I never wanted to leave you," he says quietly. "But I'm here now, Case."
"Yeah, after everything's gotten so bad that it's broken us," she huffs, beginning to cry.
"Casey-"
"I want you to leave," she sniffles. "Please just go, Chester. I-I need some time to think."
With that, she goes back into her house and she closes the door.
She goes and sits on the steps and cries. She isn't sure if she'd officially broken up with Chester, but she sure as hell knows this is definitely going to be a separation period…for a long while coming. She knows that Chester loves her, and she understands that he's scared. She is scared too, but she's concerned about the fact that he's not sure if he has the emotional readiness to be a constant and active presence in their child's life. She knows what it's like to have an emotionally distant father; as a child, she'd learned to deal with it, but accepting it doesn't make it hurt less. She doesn't want that for their child.
Casey wipes her tears and she combs her fingers through her hair.
/\/\/\/\/\/\
Mia walks over to Ham's desk and she grimaces, seeing what a pig sty it is.
"You're a slob, Ham," she huffs. "How does your wife put up with you?"
"She doesn't," Ham says, chowing down on some potato chips. "What have you got?"
"Well, it took some convincing, but I've got Janssen's jacket," Mila sighs as she sits in the chair next to Ham's desk. "He's got dozens of excessive force complaints, insubordination, sexual harassment complaints lodged by other female officers…"
"So he's a ladies' man," Ham shrugs. "It's quite a big freakin' leap from joking about female anatomy to raping two fourteen year old girls."
"There's no obvious MO," Mila shrugs. " And I can't even find one in the database."
"Well there's not much we can do now," Ham says. "The statute of limitations has passed. We can't even charge the son of a bitch."
Mila closes the file. "I-I have a bad feeling about this whole thing…I mean, what if Janssen has gotten wise to what's happening? I'm curious to know why Thomas Crane went on trial for rape and murder…why didn't the trail lead to Janssen?"
"You got me there," Ham says.
Mila shakes her head, getting up. "Okay…Crane didn't have any scorned girlfriends, Lake's girlfriend has an alibi…so now I guess we have to look for women who are close to Janssen who might do his dirty work for him. That's just wonderful."
"Why would Janssen put a hit on Crane?" Ham asks. "I mean, if Janssen's the doer, but Crane took his place and got cleared, why murder the guy? That doesn't make any sense."
"It does if Janssen can't help himself," Mila shrugs. "Maybe he's got an itch to scratch, and with Crane dead and people thinking that it was him, he's got a new lease on life. But every victim hereafter he's going to have to kill."
"I think we should check into who was in charge of the case at the crime lab," Ham says. "Someone obviously switched the DNA…"
"You're right," Mila agrees. "And who knows if it was by mistake, or deliberate."
Ham gets up, brushing his hands off. "Well you know that they say…you don't want an investigator on his first day or his last."
/\/\/\/\/\/\
After spending a couple of hours stewing in her own angry energy, Casey decided to confront Olivia. She just needs to release all of the pent up anger on someone else because she's already let it loose on herself and Chester and now that she's made sure to reduce herself to a complete emotional wreck, she needs another outlet for her anger.
She stalks into the squad room and Elliot sees her as he finishes putting some things into his locker. He sees her cheeks are bright red and her eyes are scanning the squad room. After five years of working with her, Elliot knows when Casey's truly furious, and furious is rare, even for the tempestuous woman.
"Case," he says, approaching her. "What's up?"
"Where the hell is Olivia?" She asks angrily.
"She's in Cragen's office," he says hesitantly. "Why?"
"Tell her that I need to talk to her," Casey says. "Now."
Wary of her volatile mood, Elliot goes and knocks on the door to Cragen's office. Casey watches as he informs them of just how pissed off she looks, which matches how much she is. She sees Olivia exhale heavily.
Olivia walks out of the office and she approaches Casey.
"Case, just-"
"No!" Casey hisses.
"Casey, you need to calm down," Olivia says firmly.
"Stop telling me what I need to do!" Casey yells.
Olivia sighs. "Let's go up to the crib."
The women go upstairs to the crib, and Elliot and John look at each other.
"Damn, I was hoping for a catfight," John grouses. "That would have been very-"
"Shut up John," Elliot huffs.
Once they are up in the crib, Olivia closes the door and faces Casey, who is fuming.
"You told Chester that I'm pregnant when it was none of your business to do so!"
"Case-"
"No," Casey interrupts. "Don't. You went behind my back, you got in the middle of my relationship…"
"I was just trying to help you," Olivia says. "The baby was the last card we had to play in order to get him to wake up and tell the truth."
"This baby is not a bargaining chip!" Casey says tearfully. "There is a life inside me…I would never use this baby to convince anyone to do anything!"
"You were making it sound as if you were never going to tell him," Olivia huffs. "You were so angry."
"That is a pathetic excuse for what you did," Casey cries. "You went behind my back. You told Chester about the baby when I never asked you to. This was all between me and him. You had no right…you ruined everything, Olivia."
"He had a right to know, Case," Olivia says, standing her ground. "And you're my best friend…I didn't want you going through something that you didn't have to go through."
"If you were my friend then you would've come to me first," Casey huffs. "I would never betray you like you've done me, Olivia. Never. And I certainly wouldn't insert myself into your relationship and try and play mediator."
"I'm sorry," Olivia says softly.
"Yeah," Casey says shortly, wiping her tears. "Thanks."
"Case-"
"Don't," Casey says harshly. "I never should have told you a damn thing…just leave me alone and stay out of my business, Olivia."
With that, Casey walks out of the crib and heads downstairs.
/\/\/\/\/\
Chester walks into his apartment and he sighs, thinking that Casey has every right to be angry at him. He's made a stupid decision, and he never thought that she'd be paying the price for it too. He's never seen her so emotional before, and he much as he would like to blame her moods and her crying on her pregnancy, he knows that he is the cause, although he wishes that she would have listened to him.
She now thinks that his first instinct will be to run when things get hard, but he won't. Even though he's scared about becoming a father for the first time, that doesn't mean that he's just going to leave her. He wants to be a father, and he wants to provide for his family. He wants to ensure that Casey will be taken care of and that this child and any other children they have will be secure and taken care of physically, mentally, and emotionally. He's got to convince her that he is with her to stay.
He goes over and sits on the couch. He picks up the phone, wanting to call her, but he figures that will only serve to further piss her off because the last time he called, she answered, said nothing, and hung up. He knows when he's not wanted, so he decides that he will heed Fin's advice and leave Casey alone for a bit.
He wonders how far along she is. She's got to be at least eight weeks along, considering the fact that while they'd been together in Philly, she developed a sudden aversion to jam. So, she'd been pregnant at that point.
He hopes that she's pregnant with a boy. It would be great to have a firstborn son.
Chester grins at the thought.
He's going to do whatever he has to do to repair the damage he's caused in his relationship with Casey. He's got to do all he can to prepare for their child, and make Casey comfortable as she progresses in her pregnancy.
He knows that their lives will change significantly, what with Casey's license on the line, his career compromised, and of course, the baby in Casey's belly. She's risked everything for him, and he wishes that there is some way to take it all back for her. She loves being a lawyer, and he feels so guilty for playing a part in taking that away from her. He doesn't know if she'll ever forgive him, but he certainly know that he will spend his life trying to make it up to her.
/\/\/\/\/\
Mila and Ham both crowd up on Francis Tramer, who is getting more nervous by the minute as she shifts once again in her chair.
Mila slams the file in front of her.
"Ten years ago, you were the primary on the Hernandez case," Ham says in a low voice. "It didn't take us long to figure out that one of your subordinates was doin' the nasty with Bill Janssen…a one Brea McKenna. Since she died in a car accident five years ago, you're next up on the food chain of suspects."
Francis Tramer, a seasoned forensic specialist, knew that the biggest secret-and mistake-would come back to bite her in her ass. She knows that the only way to untangle herself is to just tell the truth.
"Brea and I were best friends," Francis begins, rubbing her temples. "She…had mental problems for a long time and she was finally on medication and things were looking up. She was excited about her new boyfriend, Bill Janssen. They were about to move in together, until she got depressed again. When the Hernandez case got dropped in my lap, things were going like normal until she came to me, completely freaked."
"What did she say to you?" Mila asked.
"She said that she needed help," Francis explains. "She was so upset…I got three different DNA samples from the officers…I hadn't logged them in yet when Brea asked me to switch the names. I told her I didn't want to do it, that I could lose my job…I had two babies then, I could barely afford my house, I couldn't afford to lose my job. She begged me and begged me and finally because she was my best friend, I gave in."
Mila nods. "So you switched the DNA. Who's?"
"Um…I switched out Thomas Crane and Bill Janssen," Francis sighs. "God…did I cause all this?"
Ham sighs. "No…what'd you get out of it?"
Francis swallows thickly. "About a week after the DNA was switched…I get a call from my financier…my bills and house note were paid up two years. I didn't have to worry about anything. I could do my job, raise my babies and save my money. It was a blessing."
"And now it's a curse," Ham says. "We're going to need a sworn statement from you and you might have to testify."
Francis nods.
Ham hands Francis a legal pad and a pen before he walks out of the interrogation room with Mila.
"This is perfect," Mila sighs. "We have enough to arrest Janssen, but we can't because the statute of limitations has past."
"Look, the guy's a rapist," Ham says. "There's gotta be unsolved rapes out there that link him."
Mila nods.
"But not tonight, Fischer," Ham says. "Go home. You're exhausted."
"Ham, I can't stop now I-"
"Go home, Mila," Ham instructs again.
She puts her hands on her hips. "I'll go if you go."
Ham rolls his eyes. "Fine. Although, my home sweet home ain't so sweet."
/\/\/\/\/\
A couple of mornings later, after getting a restful sleep, Casey lies awake in her bed, just thinking.
She supposes that she should be thankful that she and Chester still have a chance to be together and be a family; it's a blessing considering all that is going on around them. She's just so angry, she feels betrayed, and she feels as if nothing she does is good enough anymore. The reality of it all has just hit her, and she begins to cry.
She's going to lose her license, she's going to lose the one thing that allows her to do what she worked so hard for. She's going to be forced to leave SVU after probably the best five years of her career. She's going to be a mother very soon and she's scared because her life and relationship are in disarray.
She's disappointed so many people, herself most of all. If she could take it all back, she would because she never wanted things to turn out this way. So many consequences have stemmed from a mistake that she thought in the long run, would be worth while. Chester had nearly been killed over a ten year old case, and she jumped at the opportunity to end it and to make the men involved responsible and put them away, out of his life, out of their life together.
She will take responsibility for what she did. The lawyer in her knows that what she did wasn't right at all; she infringed on another man's right to a defense. But in her heart, she often feels that scum don't deserve a defense. In her heart she feels that if one commits a crime against another that they should pay for it. But then, she'd be out of a job if justice moved that swiftly, but there was a time when it did.
Casey sniffles and puts her hands on her abdomen.
She's got to pull herself together and dust off for her baby. Even though everything is happening so fast and her life is spinning out of control, she has faith that she'll find enough strength within herself to make things better and find some closure on this part of her life. She's ready for the end of this phase of her life.
She caresses over her abdomen and she feels a slight bump in it, but it's not noticeable to anyone else but herself. She sits up in bed, resting against the pillows and she rubs her hands over her abdomen. The newness of it is probably what is most astonishing. She's never been pregnant before, so she's savoring every moment that she feels or sees something different about her body.
Casey is nauseous, but it's not as bad as it has been lately.
She misses Chester now. This is a moment where she wishes that he was right beside her, holding her.
They've spent lazy mornings in bed together before, and he always holds her close. It's intimate and she feels safe, warm, and wanted.
Her cell phone rings, and she picks it up off of her bedside table. She sees that it is O'Halloran and she answers.
"Hey," she says.
"Hey Casey," Ryan greets her. "I know it's pretty early, but…I've got the evidence for you. I emailed the photos to you so you can look at them."
"Thanks Ryan," she says. "I promise this won't come back round to you."
"No worries," he says. "I'm good, Case. Just don't go off and do anything stupid. Olivia's already got the title of Superwoman."
Casey chuckles. "I won't. Bye."
"Bye."
She hangs up and sighs.
She gets out of bed and she picks up her laptop. She turns it on before she goes to the bathroom. Once she is finished using the bathroom and brushing her teeth, she signs in to her internet then she opens up her email from Ryan.
The crime scene photos appear after she opens up the attachment and she examines them closely.
Once she confirms her suspicions, she combs her fingers through her hair and shakes her head.
/\/\/\/\/\
Casey walks into the building where Marion Kralik lives. Her cell phone rings again, but she ignores it, knowing that it is Chester trying to call her. Sometimes his persistence is annoying. It is evening now, and she waited because for one, she was too exhausted and a little sick from the baby, and two, she knew that Marion Kralik would be home. Marion is a secretary, and she gets off at about six. Casey knows this because she briefly interviewed Marion before the trial.
She takes the elevator up to the fourth floor, then she heads down the hallway to the third door on her right.
She takes in a deep breath and then lets it out before she knocks on the door.
After a few moments, the door opens up, and Marion Kralik looks at her.
"Ms. Novak. What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to talk to you about Thomas Crane. May I come in?"
Marion looked down at her feet. "Um…I don't know."
The woman seemed a bit antsy and nervous.
"Please, Mrs. Kralik," Casey says. "This is really important."
"Okay," Marion nods and she opens the door up wider and Casey steps in. "Have a seat. Would you like something to drink?"
"Um no thanks," Casey says as she sits on the couch.
Marion sits down in the loveseat. "What about Thomas?"
Casey sighs and pushes her hair behind her ears.
"Mrs. Kralik-"
"Marion, please."
"Marion, some new evidence has come to light," Casey begins. "About the murder…"
"I thought that detective shot Thomas?" Marion asks.
"Detective Lake didn't kill Thomas Crane," Casey says.
Marion runs her fingers through her hair. "Then who did?"
Casey looks at Marion knowingly. "I think you know, Marion."
Marion becomes angry and she stands up.
"Get out."
"Marion, things will go so much smoother if you just admit what you did," Casey says. "You killed Thomas Crane."
"Stop it!" Marion yells tearfully. "You have no idea what you're talking about!"
"I know this is hard to deal with," Casey says. "But this has got to end, Marion. I understand why you did it. Thomas Crane killed your husband."
Marion covers her face with her hands.
"You don't know what you're talking about," Marion cries, looking at Casey again.
"I looked at the evidence," Casey explains. "There was blood on the underside of the barrel, and a piece of cotton fiber was stuck in it…the blood was found to belong to a female, and there were no prints on the gun because the shooter was wearing gloves."
Marion shakes her head.
Casey sees the cut in the space between her thumb and index finger.
"It wasn't me," Marion says, turning away. "Now leave."
Casey bites her bottom lip.
"Why'd you take the cuff links?"
Marion turns back to her. "What?"
"In addition to the slick back you've got," Casey says. "The cuff links on Thomas Crane's shirt were missing. The last time I was here, I noticed that you displayed some of your husband's things…one of those was a pair of cuff links. You told me that you bought them for Christmas. During the trial, Thomas Crane wore them everyday. Why'd you take them?"
Marion sniffles and she looks at Casey.
"I thought that he was innocent at first," Marion confesses. "But when I found out the truth about that night…about what he and Edward did to that poor girl all those years ago…it was just too much. Even though Edward did wrong, I still loved him."
"I know you did," Casey says softly, approaching the older woman. "And Crane had no right to take him away from you."
"I just didn't know what to do," Marion cries. "I didn't mean to kill Thomas because he was our friend…I-I didn't want to kill him, but when I asked him why, he wouldn't say anything! I just got so mad that I shot him! Oh God!"
"Marion, you should go to the police," Casey advises.
At that, Marion looks up. "No…"
"You can't go on like this," Casey says.
"No, nobody has to know," Marion says, shaking her head. "Please just leave me alone."
"Marion, you can't do that," Casey says softly.
"You have no idea what it's like to know that the person you've shared the better part of thirty years with is gone," Marion says harshly. "It's incredibly lonely, without Edward. My bed is empty, my heart is empty. All the places where I know he should be aren't filled with his presence. When Edward died, my heart died too. It's hard enough grieving, but it's even harder to realize that the man you loved was a rapist."
Casey crosses her arms over her chest. "You were a victim too, Marion. Edward lied to you."
Marion nods.
"Please tell the police what you did," Casey insists. "I'll go with you right now and-"
"Just go away, please," Marion sniffles. "Leave me be."
"Marion, you can't go on like this," Casey says.
"Yes I can," Marion cries.
"Too many people have suffered already," Casey says. "It's time to put an end to all of this, Marion."
"Just go," Marion sniffles. "Please leave me be."
"Marion-"
"Go please!" Marion cries.
Casey nods and then she exits the apartment.
She heads downstairs and out of the building then over to her car. She gets in and sighs.
Her phone rings again, and she rolls her eyes.
"Leave me alone," she growls to her phone before tossing it back into her purse.
She starts the car and begins to head home, not noticing the car following her.
/\/\/\/\/\
Olivia is sitting at her desk, sipping a cup of coffee when her cell phone rings. She looks at the number and she answers.
"Chester?"
"Hey Liv," he sighs.
"What's wrong?" Olivia asks. "Is everything okay? Is Casey alright?"
"I don't know," he says. "She's pissed at me, and I thought that she might have talked to you. I tried calling her but I keep getting her answering machine and her voicemail on her cell. She's stressed out and I'm worried about her and the baby."
"I got chewed out by her too," Olivia chuckles slightly. "She got mad at me because I told you about her pregnancy without asking her. Just let her calm down. If something was wrong, she'd tell you, Chester. She maybe pissed but she still loves you very much and she needs you."
"I know," he says.
"Good luck, Chester," she says.
"Thanks, Liv."
Olivia hangs up.
/\/\/\/\/\
Casey spent the better part of her evening poring over the crime scene photos, thinking that everything was not what it seemed. She managed to eat a salad and drink some tea before she settled in upstairs in her bedroom. She took a shower before getting into bed and watching television for a bit. Before she knew it, she was in a deep sleep.
She wakes up with a start, and she sits up in bed, rubbing her hands over her face.
She sighs and looks at the clock. It is a little after two in the morning, and she combs her fingers through her hair before she gets out of bed. She first goes to the bathroom then she goes downstairs, feeling thirsty and a bit hungry.
She turns on the light in her kitchen and she opens up her fridge. She grabs a bottle of water and she picks a few grapes and eats them before she takes a long drink of water. She turns the light off then she goes back upstairs to her bedroom. She drinks down a little more water before she places the bottle onto her nightstand and gets back into bed.
She bundles up in her covers and stares up at the ceiling. After a while, she dozes off, turning onto her back.
About ten minutes later, she is awakened by a large hand clamping over her mouth. Her eyes snap open and she screams, but it is muffled and she is shaking her head frantically, trying to get free. She kicks her legs but she is dragged out of bed and onto the floor. She ends up kicking someone because she hears a grunt.
The hand is removed and she screams, trying to get up, but she is pulled back.
"LET ME GO! HELP!" Casey screams.
"C'mere bitch."
She elbows her attacker in his stomach and she is freed and she runs out of her room towards the stairs but she yelps when her hair is yanked and she is pulled back but both she and her assailant struggle and tumble down the steps. At the landing, Casey gets up and bolts for the front door. She tries to open the door but the weight of the man closes it and presses up against her body.
He yanks her hair and a gun is pointed at her head.
"NO!"