We're back! Thank you to you lovely types who reviewed, and to Helen for beating for us again. Also, we forgot last time to do a disclaimer, so here it is: We don't own the Boosh. Obviously. Roxi and Tara belong to us though so get your grubby paws off them you beasts! Hope you enjoy this one.
Bollo snatched the record from his hands, but was nice enough not to throw it across the room as usual.
"Come on Bollo!"
"No, they all say to Bollo, no let Howard play jazz."
"But maybe-"
Bollo suddenly stood more upright, hand across his chest as he repeated what was told to him. "'Bollo, don't let Howard put his jazz on for when we get back, we don't want Roxi hot-footing it out of here in terror before she's even halfway through the door.'"
"But Bollo," whined Howard as he followed the ape around the sitting room, tidying up a few final things (mostly Vince's rainforests of magazines, paperclips, and oddities such as buttons, paintbrushes and five Jenga blocks belonging to Tara), "Jazz has been shown to be the most welcoming type of music! Places that play jazz have twice as many return customers as those who play any other type of music!"
"This flat in Dalston, not branch of Starbucks. Put it away, Bollo put on Teenage Kicks cd."
Howard sighed, but agreed, as he did rather like the cd too. He flopped onto the sofa, then jumped up again at the sound of van doors slamming outside.
Roxi got out and looked around her; this was the type of place she could get used to! Despite travelling so much she was definitely a city girl at heart. Her eyes caught on the sign of a shop in front of them - the Nabootique - and she grinned.
"That has got to be the coolest name for a shop in the history of shops!" she said in awe, wondering exactly what sort of stuff it sold. She bet whatever it was, it was quirky.
"Welcome home!" Smiled Tara. "It's a bit crowded, well, even more so now, and you will have to fight for a place in the bathroom queue in the morning, but apart from that…"
"Home huh? I haven't had an actual home in ages!" She looked around smiling again. "But this definitely looks a good place to start, crowded just means cosy, and the bathroom thing shouldn't be too much of a problem."
"Bribery or weapons?" Asked Naboo.
"Midday lie-ins. I doubt there'll be much of a queue then."
"You'd be surprised."
Roxi smiled and shrugged then nudged Tara "Come on then! I want the full tour! I don't wanna end up getting lost...or worse, losing my shoes or something!" she laughed linking her arm through the smaller girl's.
"Just a tic then." As Roxi seemed disinclined to disengage from the arm-link, Tara dragged her around the van as she locked the doors, mindful of her possessions being stolen as soon as she turned her back. They then bounded towards the front door, stopping at the stairs.
"Can't we go in through the shop?" Asked Roxi.
"Calm yourself girl! You'll have plenty of time to look around there, I thought you wanted to meet Howard and Bollo?"
"Oh yeah! Fine Shop later.....Jazz dude and Gorilla now!" she agreed, keeping up with Tara in little lithe leaps, thinking that she must look somewhat like a deer on acid.
Tara reached the top of the stairs just before her friend, and was trying to introduce her with 'Howard, Bollo, this is-' but was cut short when Roxi leapt up behind with "Hello! I'm Roxi!" and thrust a hand out towards them.
Bollo was the first to take her hand and shake it. She was a very pretty girl, just like Tara, which led him to get bad feelings - there were two single men under this roof, and one single pretty girl...he didn't think he'd like the outcome but decided not to saying anything for now. "Hello. Nice to meet you Roxi."
Howard overcame his stunned silence with a little too much enthusiasm as he thrust his own hand towards Roxi. 'Hi, hello, Howard Moon, nicetomeetyou."
Roxi giggled. Bollo's hand was so warm, and soft like an expensive leather handbag! And Howard seemed like a happy, bouncy sorta guy...or a nervous one; She wasn't sure which. "Nice to meet you both too! And thank you so much for letting me stay here for a while! It looks like a lovely flat you've got!"
She stepped off the top share and properly into the room, then shivered "Hey guys, how old is this flat?" she tensed up, not liking the feeling that was coming from the little room to her right. "You know...you might wanna check out it's history, it might be haunted! Sure feels like someone died in here before..." In fact it really was starting to creep her out a little, she hoped she was just imagining things.
Still looking with interest around the living room, Roxi missed the quick glances the others exchanged. "Nah don't be silly Rox..." said Tara. "There's nothing like that here, we'd have felt it."
"Hmm yeah I suppose...but sometimes I just get a sense for these sorta things." She shrugged, deciding for once to ignore her gut instinct. "Anyways, you need to finish this tour missus!" she gave Tara a gentle dig in the ribs.
"Haha, alright alright, patience. Get the kettle on would you Naboo?" The tiny shaman obliged as Tara offered her arm to Roxi. "This, fair lady, as I'm sure you can see, is the living room, we have all the mod cons- somewhere to sit, windows, an old tellybox, and a fully functional table."
"It's very homely, I like it!" she grinned "And you know patience is hardly my strong point!"
"Well, quite." Agreed Tara. "There's your kitchen, complete with tea-making shaman, he also specialises in chillies."
Roxi followed along quite happily, the foreboding feeling she first felt slipping away as she chatted with Tara "Hmm tea and chilli? You really did find the perfect guy for you didn't you?" she laughed. Bless her little pixie friend.
"And up through here..." Tara led Roxi away along the corridor to the bedrooms, leaving the guys alone.
Naboo looked over his shoulder. "Tea Vince?"
Vince nodded "Yeah alright sounds good to me" he stopped in front of the hallway mirror making sure his hair was still perfect after the shopping and luggage lifting, which of course it was - Root Boost was clearly a gift from god to the hair-conscious.
Naboo glanced at him preening himself and smirked a little. "Bollo, How- where's Howard gone?"
Vince looked around and shrugged. "Dunno... Lester's?"
"He didn't say anything."
Vince looked around as he heard a heavy puffing sound to see Howard coming up the stairs with the first load of suitcases. "Oh I found him Naboo!" he said happy and proud, like when a child finds their friend in a game of hide and seek.
Naboo raised an eyebrow. "I'm outta gold stars Vince. Tea Howard?"
Howard nodded, panting, and disappeared back downstairs for the other suitcases.
"I think someone's trying to make a good impression..." Vince said raising his eyebrows and giving Naboo a look that clearly said 'here we go again.'
Naboo smiled mysteriously. "Yeah, I think they are."
"What d'you-" Began Vince, but was interrupted again as Tara and Roxi came back.
"Wow you guys, your bedrooms are amazing!" She grinned.
Vince grinned, back forgetting Naboo's mysterious revelation "Thanks! I'll give you a proper tour of my room in a minute, I bet Tara's to show you the coolest things, did you see my wardrobe?"
"I didn't want all the clothes falling on me again, I was trapped for two hours last time. Oh hi Howard." Tara added, as he arrived back at the top of the stairs, completely puffed out and bright red. He handed the keys to Tara's van back, then stumbled over to the sofa.
"That's cos you didn't listen to me! There's a way of doing -" Vince was cut off mid-sentence by a squealing Roxi pouncing a surprised Howard.
"You got my suitcases for me!! You absolute darling! Thank you!!" she hugged him tight "I can't believe you did that for me! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she kissed his cheek enthusiastically -she always did have a problem with over-exaggeration.
The others watched, eyebrows raised, as poor Howard looked stunned at the attention suddenly being lavished upon him by someone so attractive.
"Rox for goodness' sake, unhand the poor man!" Laughed Tara.
"Oh...sorry!" she blushed giving him on last squeeze then jumping up to let him breathe. She laughed and shrugged, then looked at a slightly pouty Vince. "So what were you saying about that wardrobe?"
"Yeah, you wanna see?" Asked Vince. "We can bring your stuff in too, did Tara say you'd be sleeping in my room? Get the suitcases Howard."
Howard turned his head to them, looking crestfallen at the prospect of having to get up again.
"No, we can't do that to poor Howard after he carried them all the way up the stairs for me without being asked! C'mon, we can drag them in if we're careful."
"Bollo help with suitcases. Bollo strong gorilla who doesn't pass out after hug like stupid Jazz Maverick" come the grunting voice of the primate, who'd be pretty quiet.
"I.. but... they!" Howard tried to protest, but Bollo was gone, following Vince and Roxi.
Tara sat down next to him. "Don't listen to him Howard, you did great, thanks for getting the cases, I completely forgot!"
Naboo handed them their cups of tea. "Roxi seemed pretty pleased with you too Howard."
"She did didn't she?" Said Howard, perking up. "Where is Roxi from anyway?"
"Ahh that's the thing...no one's quite sure, I don't even know if she knows - she travels a lot, like I used to" Tara looked to Naboo softly with a secret smile.
"Where was she coming from then, when you picked her up from the airport?"
"I dunno actually, she just said to be there at a certain time to pick her up. She was on holiday somewhere."
"Hmm very mysterious...I wonder if she likes jazz" Howard said more to himself than anyone else.
Tara and Naboo glanced at each other, smirking, as Vince and Roxi burst out of his bedroom, giggling like tickle-me Elmo and covered in feathers and bits of tinsel.
"Arrrrggghhhh! Vince noooo! Stop it!" Roxi squealed as he grabbed her waist tickling her mercilessly, she wriggled and started running again. "I'll set Bollo on you!"
"Yeah, well I'll set Tara on you!"
Vince feigned to the left, but then tried to make his escape in front of the sofa. Tara rolled her eyes and tripped him, careful to make sure he missed the table. Already half-doubled over, Vince collapsed fully onto Howard's knees and then the floor. "Oi!" He kicked Tara back.
"Hey!"
"Oi stop it you two, we don't need you having a wrestling match again, it's been done." Said Naboo.
"Yeah, I suppose you're right." Said Tara, reaching down to help her brother up.
"So Rox, Howard was just asking, where've you flown in from this time?"
"Oh I flew from New York, I just finished a stint on Broadway playing Debbie Harry as a bunny girl in a new musical all about Hugh Hefner's life, but I finished my contract now so thought I'd come back to my home land for a bit!" she said, as if such things were normal of everyone's life.
"Oh right, so that's why you've got five suitcases?"
Roxi looked puzzled. "No... I sent all my normal stuff somewhere else, this is just my clothes and stuff for here."
Vince had perched on the arm of the sofa and was staring at the redhead, trying to work out whether he was more impressed with having a girl who had not only portrayed a bunny girl but also one of the greatest, sexiest women in music living in the same flat as him, or by the fact that the number of suitcases she appeared to own might even rival his collection.
"Hmm, I should really unpack..." Roxi said frowning at the thought "C'mon sweetie, you can help me find space in Vince's wardrobe" she held out her hand to Tara.
"I think you'll need Naboo for that." Said Tara, but took the proffered hand and followed her friend nonetheless.
"Hey we'll manage..." she suddenly raised her voice as the walked away "Even if we have to throw out and burn some of his clothes..."
As Vince's eyebrows shot up in alarm, Tara looked around at the suitcases with a twang of jealousy. Having all these clothes would be totally impractical for her, she just wouldn't have the space, but she did often wish she dressed better. Tara had plenty of nice things, but for the most part she was a jeans-and-t-shirt girl, and although she knew Naboo loved her she sometimes wished she could be more glamorous for him.
As if reading her thoughts, Roxi flipped open a suitcase. "I forgot, I saw this when I was in New York and had to buy it for you!"
Roxi pulled out a turquoise corduroy skirt with sequins and handkerchief point cut at the bottom hem "Well this is number one....." she said handing it to Tara then diving back into her suitcase.
"Oh wow Roxi that's gorgeous!" Tara fawned over it. "I really don't have enough skirts, this is great!"
Roxi turned her head from the suitcase and towards Tara "I'm glad you like it chickpea...just wait 'til you see what else I've got you!"
"More? Bloody hell, I hardly got you anything..." She said guiltily.
"Yeah you did! You gave me a new temporary home, complete with a Shaman who makes great tea, a cuddly friendly gorilla, a guy who carries suitcases for me and the best shopping buddy ever! Not to mention your lovely company!" she grinned, perfectly happy.
Tara smiled and shrugged modestly. She never felt that whatever she did for her friends was enough. "Yeah well... we'll go shopping tomorrow maybe, if Vince doesn't drag you out with him instead!"
"No we won't! You've already done far too much for me, I'll feel guilty!" she pouted, trying her 'I'm so cute, you can't disagree with me' look for the first time on another female.
"Don't give me that you tart." Laughed Tara.
"Damn it! I hate you for not being of the male gender!" Roxi giggled back.
"And whaddya mean no? Am I to have no time with you at all this little visit?"
"You may have all the time you want, and we may go shopping but you are not to buy a thing for me...I know what you're like..." she narrowed her eyes in a mock glare. "If anything, you may buy me a muffin for being absent so damn long. I thought I was supposed to come down to see you earlier this year?"
Again, the guilt. A plan had indeed been half-formulated for Roxi to visit Tara at the flat on her way to... wherever she was jetting off to that week, but unfortunately Tara's death had thrown a rather large spanner in the works, as it had with so many things.
She still couldn't quite get used to it. It wasn't what had actually happened to her as such that was upsetting, she didn't mind having been dead for a bit at all, but she felt weird about having missed out on so much with her friends in those months. Having Vince and Naboo and everyone telling them how much they missed her was bad enough, but if everyone she knew started doing it she may have had to contact the Fates and ask for a little more time out, just to give herself a rest. It was better this way, even if everyone she loved felt neglected, and she had to deal with the difficulty of lying to them further. She hated having to do it but how would they ever understand?
"Yeah, I'm sorry about that Rox I really am, everything just got a little crazy... but you're here now at least, and to celebrate my engagement too! Now, I seem to recall you saying you'd bought me something else?"
"Ah I can't even begin to understand the first throws of love, I guess it's just one of those things that happens when you find the one - but you've found him, so don't let it happen again! Other than that I forgive you!" she beamed. "I think your patience is becoming worse than mine dear...just a sec while I find it..."
Tara eyed the other suitcases, and decided to make a start on helping her friend unpack them while she searched for whatever it was.
She'd got as far as removing all the tops from one suitcase and putting most of them on the hangers supplied, when Roxi finally cried "Found it!"
She pulled out a box, black with silver swirls, which contained a deep scarlet corset and French knickers, both trimmed with black lace. Roxi had picked it up as soon as she discovered Tara was in love - love deserved sexy underwear. She placed the pretty box in Tara's hands "Think you might enjoy this dear"
"Ooh!" Squealed Tara, excited by the box. She opened the lid, her face a picture of admiration. "Oh Roxi that's gorgeous!"
She held them up and admired them for a moment longer, then carefully replaced them in the box and crawled over to hug her friend. "Thank youuuu!" She let go and sat next to Roxi. "Although I think Naboo might enjoy them a little more...."
"Haha, thought he would." She laughed. "But speaking of Naboo,... this shaman thing, would you say he has uh... magic fingers?"
"Oooooooh Rox.." Purred Tara "You've no idea."
Roxi hugged her back laughing more "Hey when you buy me that muffin...blueberry muffin that is...I won't complain if you stretch to a pair of ear plugs..."
"Haha don't you worry about that, don't you think we've taken that precaution sharing a flat with three other people, one of them my brother? Soundproofed walls darling, soundproofed walls." She tapped her nose conspiratorially. "But actually, on the subject of Naboo, keep him being a shaman to yourself yeah? Supposedly people aren't supposed to know, but I figured it'd be pretty difficult to hide from you if you were gonna be sharing the flat."
"Thank god for that! I'm not sure who I'm more grateful to - Howard for bringing the suitcases up, or the walls." she grinned devilishly "Ah, no problem, people would think I was some crazy glittery lunatic if I did say anything, but I'm good with secrets anyways!"
"Yes, don't I know it." She said in a slightly accusing manner.
Roxi looked down at Tara, silent for once. She knew she shouldn't have stayed quiet about the events of a couple of years previously, but, however clichéd it may be, it was her burden to bear.
Because of the quiet, they could hear the voices from the next room drifting through the open door. 'Don't slate my clothes, just because all you ever wear is corduroy! Ask Roxi, she knows fashion too you know, I don't see you slagging off her clothes." Said an annoyed-sounding Vince.
"I wasn't slating them Vince, I simply said they weren't practical for starting up an indie male cheerleader team! I know I shouldn't have let you watch Bring It On last night." Came the equally annoyed voice of Mr Moon.
Tara and Roxi looked at each other, bemused. "I'm glad we're safe in here, the last fight they had got rather out of hand… the sofa still smells of pineapple juice."
Vince continued as they carried on unpacking Roxi's clothes. "Look, I'm telling you Howard, if I wanted to do the splits these jeans wouldn't stop me! It'd never happen if I was wearing corduroy, I wouldn't even think about it, doing the splits would just bring to much attention to me wearing something as embarrassing as that!"
The sound of chunky heels thudding on floorboards grew slightly louder as Vince stomped towards hi- no, at the moment it was Roxi's – room.
"Roxi! Can we go shopping now?" He asked, sounding like a sulky teenager.
"Hang about Vince, the poor girl hasn't even finished unpacking yet." Said Tara. "Besides, she's here to see me remember, not go flouncing off to the shops with you!"
Vince's eyes flashed a little, and he folded his arms. "Oi, don't you start yelling at me as well!"
"Be a bit reasonable then will you?"
"Me? I'm not-"
But Roxi chose to interrupt him then. "Right, shut up everyone! Come on, into the front room." She grabbed Tara by the elbow and herded Vince out on the way, sitting them down on the sofa with the others, and stood in front of them.
"Howard, it is possible to do the splits in skinny jeans, but it is rather hard." She demonstrated, and continued from her position on the floor. "Vince, corduroy can be perfectly fashionable, it depends how you wear it, I've got a pair of black cord skinnies in one of my cases in there. And Tara sweetie I'm sure Vince isn't trying to steal me away, he just wants to go shopping. Now please all of you stop shouting, or… or… or I won't make chocolate cookies!"
Howard looked impressed at Roxi's sudden command of the situation. Vince and Tara both perked up at the mention of chocolate cookies, and Naboo and Bollo raised their eyebrows (or whatever it is gorillas have where eyebrows should be) at each other, smiling.
"Think Bollo gonna like having her around."
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