Author's Note: Here's part 2 of Mark's first day.

It will have angsty Mer/Der elements and they'll be the first to break the Quadrangle.

I can guarantee that.

Enjoy.

Disclaimer: NOT MINE. I WOULD'VE MADE IZZIE CRAZY AFTER SEASON 2, NOT NOW.

She walked down the corridor, still mulling over her bitch out with the She-Shepherd.

Meredith would never understand the Shepherds fully but she could get their M.O. They had a nasty tendency to internalize things and then lash out. It wasn't healthy. Not only would it lead to numerous physical maladies, it would make them sick in the head. The last thing she wanted was that. Not only because she still loved Derek but also because they have the power to fuck up the rest of her internship and derail her dream.

All she wanted to be was a neurosurgeon. She had known it since she was 7 and did a lobotomy on a stuffed fish her father had given her. The act of rage had become a catalyst. That night, when she lisped to her mom that she wanted to be a" brain fixer", she had scoffed and said she couldn't do it. That had sealed it for her. She would be a fucking brain fixer, if not just to prove her evil mommy wrong and she wanted to learn from the best.

Derek Shepherd was the best. She knew that long before she actually worked with him in the OR. She had absorbed his work like a Harry Potter nut when she was a teenager, even when she drank and partied. She had been determined to learn from him, which is why she picked Seattle Grace in the first place. She could've easily gone to any hospital in the area but she wanted to learn from her hero.

Unfortunately, he's taught me a lot more than I ever could've asked for.

As she passed a closet, she was suddenly yanked in and she yelped. She struck out with her foot, hitting her attacker in the kneecap.

"Ow! Goddamn it, Meredith!"

She sighed and whirled on Derek, noticing the look of rage was back. Meredith sighed and leaned against a rack, looking at him wearily.

"Okay. I guess 6 months has made me a little rusty of the eye reading. You're really not fine with anything Mark and I do. I'm still confused as to why. Last time I checked, you had a redheaded baby birthing glamazon for a wife, not me! You shouldn't give two shits about me!" she snapped.

"But, I do!" he insisted.

Her eyes widened and she got in his face.

"You have a fucking hilarious way of showing it, then! Lying and making me your mistress doesn't exactly scream undying love, Derek! She had to waltz up and practically call me a whore in front of everybody! "

"I was going to tell you about her that night!"

"Why didn't you do it, before?! Why did you lie to me?! Why the fuck did you make me fall for you if you KNEW YOU HAD A WIFE?!"

"I was afraid of losing you! I had fallen in love with you and I knew telling you would have made you leave!"

That broke her anger and she started crying. Derek was the only person that could really make her cry.

"No! I would've been pissed but I would not have left! Derek, you're the only person I have ever really loved! My mother wouldn't let anyone love her except the Chief and my father was a cowardly, spineless piece of shit! They taught me that I was unworthy of love and then you came along and changed all that! And then you abandoned me just like everybody else! So, excuse me, if I want some attention from someone who understands what I'm going through! You're not going to fuck me over anymore, Derek! I'm done being your doormat in this shitty situation! If you care about me, then show me! I can't take it on faith this time! I need solid proof!"

He deflated and asked," What do you want from me, Meredith?"

"You're a smart man, most of the time. Figure it out and until you do, for god's sake, leave me alone. I have enough to worry about without you adding to it. I'll be working with Dr. Heeley in any neuro cases because I cannot handle being around you. It hurts too damn much. Now, I have to go do my job. Pull yourself together and go do the same."

She opened the door but four soft words stopped her.

"I love you, Meredith."

She sighed but she didn't turn around.

"I love you, too. Right now, it's not enough. You're going to have to do more than say it and soon. I'm not going to wait forever."

He sighed but she could hear him nod.

"I understand."

With that, she kicked the door shut and wiped her tears away.

Regaining her composure, she checked her watch and saw that Mark's shift was over.

Maybe he'd want to get a drink after he was let loose.

God knows that she definitely needed one.