:::She follows me:::
She follows me everywhere,
There is no escape.
Her eyes burn through my flesh.
Like cigarettes end.
I've been going out with Sesshoumaru for a couple of months now. And with each day that passes something in me snaps. I feel like something's after me. And the girl in the mirror is not in the mirror anymore. She's everywhere.
I'm never alone anymore. I know deep down that she's going to win. There is nothing in the world that I can do to stop her from hurting me. She can do what ever she wants to me and I can't stop her. That's the reason why my skin is burned and me to behold.
The pain is to strong,
Shall I let her win?
Shall I take her place?
I thought that the girl in the mirror was my friend. But friend don't do those kinds of things. Not even a person that hates someone would do those things. Something change, something she didn't like. But the only thing that changed in my life was that I was now happy, and that I had Sesshoumaru.
She follows me everywhere,
There is no escape.
My mirror is locked
Yet she finds a way.
I know this is impossible! Since the girl in the mirror is me. But since the day I hid the mirror I can't shake the feeling that she's there waiting for me. Waiting to hurt me. Wanting for me to have my guard down.
I don't know what to do, I tried stopping her once, and what did I get? I got a broken jaw. I don't even know where she got all this strength from. I don't understand why she's so strong. I don't understand how she can hurt me. After all she's in the mirror.
I'm never alone.
She goes where I go.
a window a puddle,
The mirror who knows?
A big part of me I believes that the girl In the mirror is acting out its because of Sesshoumaru. Since Sesshoumaru became my boyfriend I stopped using mirrors and that's when everything started. I also believe that a big part was that she didn't like me being happy.
I stopped using mirrors because the person I saw in the mirror wasn't me any more, she looked evil. She didn't look human any more. She wasn't the girl in the mirror that I had grown to care for.
She wasn't me. Her appearance change so much it was crazy! She looked crazy! She looked like a demon. Her eyes and smile looked sinister. They hunted me in my sleep.
She follows me everywhere.
There is no escape.
All that she wants,
Is to take my place
I get up from my bed and walk into the bathroom. The only place in the whole house with a mirror. I walk in there with the lights off. I know that's if I turn them on she'll be there staring. Smiling at me with her sinister smile.
Wanting to brake me. Wanting to take my place. I know that's what the girl in the mirror wants. She wants to live on this side. On the real side of the mirror.
I can't tell her 'no'
Or she'll slice my throat.
I can't tell her 'yes'
Ill be dead as well.
I know that I can't live like this any longer. I need to get away from all this pain. From all the fears that this world brings to me. That she brings to me.
That's why I carry a blade. A blade that will take all of my pain away. A blade that will put me to sleep for ever. A blade that will erase all my nightmares, and her.
As I drew the blade to my skin I began to wonder what would happen to my body and who would find it. What would Souta think? Will he do the same as me? Will he kill himself to not be alone in the world? Will he try to follow behind?
But most important. If he decides to live who will take care of him? Who will love him? Who will look after him? I'm everything he has, but I cant keep on leaving like this.
She follows me everywhere
There is no escape.
Like a shadow that follows
Behind every step.
The blood was a glorious red as dripped over my pale skin. I smiled to myself but my smile faded when I heard on coming footsteps. But after a while they faded away. My smile returned. It would be over in a matter of seconds.
All the pain that the girl in the mirror gave would be forgotten. I would be dead. I would be in a place where she could never find me. I would be in hell. Because of my sin.
Everywhere I go she follows,
Everywhere I am, she at.
Only because she is
The darkness in my mind.
I thought my happiness with Sesshoumaru would last longer than a couple of months but I guess I was wrong. Sure Sesshoumaru and I where in love but sometimes love is not good enough to stop her from doing damages to my body.
Day after day a new cut appeared on my skin. He always blamed it on me. He always told me to stop. But how could I stop her! When she wasn't even real? When she wasn't even here?
She follows me everywhere
There is no escape.
Shall I let her kill me?
Shall I let her stay?
I get up with my bleeding arm and turn the light of the bathroom on. The first thing I notice is the mirror. The Wall to wall mirror. That smile. That evil cunning smile.
I don't know when I started to hear her speaking to me. But for some reason she could talk. But she could only talk through the mirror. She could only talk when I was in front of her. When I could see her.
"You know, that's not going to make me stop?" she asked as her smile got wider. And just like that my finger started bleeding. "Oops!" she said looking at my finger.
She smiles at me. I didn't want to look at her anymore. I didn't want to look at her smile any longer.
The girl in the mirror
Only wants to take my place.
Before I know it I'm back on the ground. I touch my lip to find it bleeding. The girl in the mirror has the power. The girl in the mirror has the control. I'm just a puppet that she uses for fun. I'm the only thing that makes her smile.
"Oops! I'm sorry" she said looking down at me. "I thought you looked better on the ground"
I'm still holding the knife. The sooner I get this done with, the better. I make a slice down my other arm my blood spills fast. I'm staring to get light headed. I'm losing my strength.
"Why do you hate me?" I ask her. As my arm falls next to me. My arm had lost its strength. I look down at the ground. I'm sitting in a puddle of blood.
"I don't hate you! I just want your life" she said smiling "I want Sesshoumaru"
She follows me everywhere
There is no escape
With a knife in each hand.
Ready, to cut my wrist.
Ready, to cut myself
I feel my life draining. This time I'm going to die. And no one is going to be able to stop it. No one can stop death.
I know that Sesshoumaru is going to be devastated when he finds out, but at least he would not have to come home to find new cuts in my body every night. He will be able to find someone worthy. Someone normal. Someone that deserves him. Maybe he can go back to Kagura.
I take my last breath. As my chest becomes tighter and tighter by the second. I can't breath. My vision goes blurry until all that I see is darkness... emptiness… Death…
Can't anyone stop her?
Can't anyone please?
Because all my scars
Are starting to bleed
"There's no beauty in bleeding lips," I snap my eyes open when I heard Sesshoumaru speaking.
"Come on" he said holding my hand. I couldn't feel anything I was numb. I couldn't talk I couldn't do anything. Something was wrong. I wasn't dead! And I couldn't speak.
"Hold on a sec." I heard myself say as my lips moved with out making a single sound. "Let me fix my lip" just like hat Sesshoumaru left.
I look at the girl in the mirror. She smiles at me. "Well I'll make him happy" she said cleaning her bleeding lip. I smiles. A sinister smile.
Because the girl in the mirror
The girl in the mirror, is now me
The light turn off and I'm left alone. The darkness takes over. She won. She took my place. And now I'm her reflection. I'm the girl in the mirror.