of Love and Despair

The story takes place kind of after Advent Children. I didn't play Dirge of Cerberus so there could be some inconsistencies, possibly setting this story in an alternate universe.

The Guilt of Love and Despair

The bright lights were as numerous in the black sky as the stars in the heavens. It was a glowing city of lights that some people had never seen. Even for those of who have been here before, it was still a sight of wonderment and excitement, a seemingly floating city in the sky. All it takes is a short cable car ride up into the sky and you're there above it all. Above the troubles, above the worries, above the world below. Now more than ever, it city is packed to its max capacity with people trying to escape their problems. It is a wonder how the whole thing was able to stay in the sky without toppling over and falling back down into reality. As the cable car neared Gold Saucer everyone could hear the screams, laughs and obnoxious music. The music was so loud because the people were so loud because the music was so loud

Tifa leaned in closer to Reno to be able to say anything audibly to him. "Where shall we go next?"

Reno thought for a moment as he could feel her soft skin rub up against his cheek. Even though it was ever so slight a touch. He tried to think about something else so he wouldn't think about it. But he only ended up hoping that the lights were dark enough to hide his flush cheeks. "How about the Battle Square?"

"We just came from the Chocobo Races," replied Tifa. She gave a tug on his arm as they passed by the line to the roller coaster. "Lets go here."

"Alright," groaned Reno which Tifa couldn't hear over the screams of the crowd. He let himself get pulled into line by Tifa and almost running over a young woman in the process. "Sorry."

The woman watched the two get into line before getting into line herself a few places after. She tried to look around the other people in line to get a better look at the two.

"Hey cutie," called out a man behind the woman. "You here all by yourself?" The woman ignored the man and continued to try look at the head of the line. The man turned to the others behind him and grinned. "You know this is a scary ride and I don't think that you should be going all by your lonesome." The man put a arm around the woman's shoulders and pulled her into his chest. The woman retaliated and pushed him away. "Hey!" yelled the man who then forcefully grabbed the woman by the wrist.

"Why don't you leave the little lady alone," interrupted Reno. The man began to size him up but snorted and walked away from them. "Are you okay?" asked Reno to the woman who nodded her head but never looked up at him in the face.

"Thank you," murmured the woman before walking away from him as well. Reno scratched his head in bewilderment.

The woman hid behind one of the nearby buildings and took off her wig. "Why did I agree to wear this thing again..." moaned Cloud before putting the wig back onto his head and stepping back out into the crowd. Just as he stepped out from behind the building a young girl walked right into him.

"Oh, I'm sorry miss," apologized the young girl who was bowing low. When she looked back up, Cloud nearly jumped out of his dress in shock of seeing her here.

"Yuffie," called out Cloud absently. But she couldn't hear him as she was busily looking through the crowds for someone. "You didn't happen to have seen a tall scary looking guy in a red cape, did you?" she asked. But before Cloud could say another word she spotted the person she was looking for. "Hey you! Tall, brooding, and scary!" cried out Yuffie at the top of her lungs. She ran off pushing herself through the curious crowd trying to catch up to someone who could only be Vincent Valentine.

Cloud watched them disappear into the mass of people. He watched them long after they had left before Reno and Tifa walked into his line of sight. Cloud followed them from a safe distance making sure that they couldn't see him following them.

Guilt

Tifa and Reno shared a gondola ride together which took them above all the whole park, giving them spectacular views and time to be alone and away from all the commotion down below. Tifa smiled as she looked out the window as some breath taking views while Reno sat across from her and glanced out as well, trying to make like he wasn't all that impressed. Tifa's smile quickly faded into a frown as she remembered that night. The night that she was going to ask Cloud on a late night gondola ride, but he wasn't in his room that night. Someone had already beaten her to the punch and she could only imagine the two of them together, probably doing the same things, maybe riding in this very same gondola. Tifa looked down at her feet which caught Reno's attention away from the fireworks show outside.

"You're not having a good time," said Reno finally.

Tifa snapped back to reality and put on a smile for him. "No, I am. It's just..."

"Cloud."

She let out a heavy sigh. "Is it that obvious?"

"It's written all over your face. You care about him. He's your boyfriend."

She shook her head at him. "There's nothing between us. He's just a childhood friend. That's all."

"You've been saying that for forever."

"Because it's true." But even she didn't believe the words that had come out of her own mouth. It was more than just a lie now. It was something that she so desperately tried to believe, but knew it was never true.

"Tifa, he's more to you than just a friend. There's got to be something more between you than that. I mean, think about all that you've been through together. From little brat days to nearly dieing at-. Well pretty much all the time. You've been by his side and he's by yours. You've been through heaven and hell and back. You've been started a family together with him."

"If you could call it that," muttered Tifa.

"If you can't call that a family then I don't know what is." Even though he was hiding his face in the shadows of the gondola, she could see the pain on his face as he told her this.

Tifa looked out at a group of chocobos with jockeys astride racing along a brilliantly lit track set in space. She didn't care about anything going on outside but she looked out anyway because she couldn't bare looking at Reno like this. They sat in silence for a moment before Tifa spoke again. "Before he was so different. Back then he was so confident in himself. He use to do all of these things before. Like when we were kids a group of friends and I dared each other to go up the mountain. We didn't know that Cloud was not far behind keeping a watchful eye on us. Well as we were climbing up the mountain... I got hurt. Everyone had left me behind but he was there." Tifa clenched her fists. "He got into a whole lot of trouble because everyone blamed him for what happened to me and he didn't even say a word. He just stood there and took it... Or like that time in the slums when I went to Don Corneo to get some information and he came to rescue me, in a dress. He actually dressed up as a woman, wig, dress, and all, and came to rescue me. No one had ever gone through such lengths to rescue me before."

Tifa fell silent again and looked out the window. As they neared the end of the ride, the passed low over the heads of a large crowd ambling about. She noticed someone in the crowd, a blonde haired woman. She tried to get a better look but the gondola had already passed.

Guilt

"Hurry people, hurry!" shouted a little mechanical cat astride a large stuffed pink moggle. "The show is about to start!"

"Cait Sith?" asked Tifa as she walked up to him.

"Hey Tifa!" called out Cait Sith.

"What are you doing here?"

"I owe a friend of mine a little favor. Hey, are you here to see the show?"

Tifa looked over to Reno who didn't look like he wanted to go. "We'd love to go," replied Tifa dragging him into the theater.

Cloud poked his head out from behind his hiding spot and made his way into the theater, but was stopped by a large moggle.

"Excuse us ma'am, but we need an extra actor to preform in our play. It is really simple and you just have to follow the other actor's cues. So how about it?"

Cloud shook his head. "No thank you."

"Come on," pleeded Cait Sith. "Do it for an old buddy. Please Cloud?"

"What!?"

"What? You didn't think I'd recognize you in that disguise? Cute dress by the way," purred Caith Sith.

"No I'm sorry," replied Cloud. "I'm going to have to decline the offer."

"If you say so," said Cait Sith. He watched Cloud poke his head inside before Mog hit him in the back of the head, knocking him unconscious. Mog scooped up Cloud in his furry arms. "Sorry Cloud, nothing personal. Like they say in showbiz, the show must go on."

First of all, I have to say that I am sorry. I was trying for a chapter a week deal, but somethings have come up, I know I don't have to, but I feel like I have to apologize for a late update. I will go back and make adjustments to the prior chapters when i have the time. This next chapter is what's been killing me, so it might be another late update. And again feedback will be much appreciated.

Many thanks to you guys for reading and following my story. And a special thanks goes out to you guys who reviewed my story.