Author's note: this comes from my Spilling the Charms notes; it was a self-indulgent rant that would have dragged down the story, so I couldn't use it. But I have spent too much time examining why I believe Bill and Sook belong together—and therefore, Eric and Sook don't—to keep this bit of thinking a secret. I hope it fuels your own thinking about our favorite vampires…

"Did you love him?" Rio asked softly. Without my vampire hearing, I wouldn't have heard her.

We were down on the beach, walking along the edge of the water, which was cold, but seemed to revive her. She had told me she tired easily since the battle. Being outside, in wild places, helped her restore her balance. Fed the holes his tearing had left in her. Damn him to hell!

Well, I could hope.

I knew this conversation would come. I had considered a thousand ways to have it. None felt right. There was so much—and so little—to say. I was grateful for lifetimes in which to say it all. Maybe I just wanted to say it all to myself.

That seemed like a good a place as any, so I said, "The truth is, I don't know."

As I was learning with my daughter, she didn't jump right in with a protest, as I might have. She left a lot of air hanging in between us for me to fill.

"There is a lot I could say." I was hiding behind my psychologist's hat, pulling that imaginary brim right down over my eyes. "Perhaps if you tell me why you're asking I could edit…"

"Ah, Mab," Rio turned to me, putting her long slim fingers against my face, "don't edit. I'm asking because I want to know. I want to know you. I want to know him. It isn't a need, a mandate, an edict. It's… exploring.

I'm trying to build a past for myself."

That made me angry still. I looked in her sea green eyes, feeling my own fill up hurt and sorrow. I knew so little about my daughter and she so little about me. Time for that to change.

I turned to look out to sea. The waves were dark and sparkling, like Bill's eyes. And then, I knew where to start.

"Before I can answer your question—or explore it—I want to tell you about Bill.

"I was 25. I'd never been in love. Never had sex. My telepathy prevented all that. I was so very proud. And so very scared. Those two are a spiteful mix, I can tell you. I was determinedly human, even as I knew I'd never fit in with what I so resolutely concluded were my own kind. Now, I think I knew that I was other. But until The Great Revelation, I didn't know there was any 'other' to be.

"Bill broke through all that, like smashing ice on the surface of a pond, trying to get to what was below. And boy, did he! I couldn't see it then, but being with him felt natural. From the moment I laid eyes on him, I wanted to be with him in every way possible."

Rio smiled at me, her sweet, sweet smile. "Got your wish, Mab." She emphasized her nickname for me, because Mab was a fairy renowned for wish fulfillment.

"To use the vernacular, I was broken. Bill saw every chip, crack, fracture, missing piece, and loved me anyway. Didn't even want to—as he so painfully told me once—but simply couldn't help it. Human or supe, seems we don't pick who we love.

"Bill and I had so much unfinished business between us. Until that got resolved, I could play at loving Eric—hope for it, even—but I didn't have all of myself to offer. And he deserved nothing less.

"Eric was—is—so perfect. He needs to be with someone who is his equal. Not someone he is teaching, being patient with."

"Are you saying you weren't good enough for him?"

"Well, that sounds harsh, but maybe. Actually, yes. He deserves you." Rio smiled again, and I could tell that idea pleased her. She lifted her chin with something akin to the family pride and said, "I think I was made for him, in some ways."

My vamp nature kicked in, and I snapped, "You were made when a great big gorgeous hunk of fairy magicked me into a fabulous fuck."

"Mmm," Rio responded, not irritated in the least. "I guess what I meant is that I was trained for Eric. Although our grandfather"—I flinched at the mention—"would not have seen it that way."

"What do you mean?" My curiosity got the better of me.

"A large part of my training was about everything other—actually, very little was about humans. I think our grandfather wanted me to know what the fae kingdom we would make together had to deal with…" She shook her head, as if she wanted to release some stale thoughts. "Grandfather admired Eric a great deal—he respected most those beings who could live such a long time in a rapidly changing world—he himself knew how very difficult that was.

"So he talked a lot about a this very old, very savvy vampire, not realizing how piqued my curiosity was. As I got older, and fulfilling my fate pressed in on me, I returned over and over again to those lessons about the great big vampire who could. I'd never met him, but he became my comfort. Eventually, he became my goal."

I found this idea very… Eric. I told my daughter so. I asked her why then she didn't head straight for Louisiana.

"Ha," Rio made a bitter sound. "Doesn't work like that. I can read fundamental forces and to a certain extent control them. It's different from reading—and finding—individuals. From reading thoughts and emotions.

"That's your job."

It was my turn to "ha." My daughter was giving me a lot to consider about my own nature as fae, as human, and as vamp. But I wanted to honor her original question, so I reluctantly pulled myself back on track.

"Did Eric tell you he called me soon after you two got to Louisiana?"

"He said he was calling you. Asked if I wanted to say anything."

"I think he thought he was calling to thank me for sending his sword and to let me know it got to him okay.

"But he actually called to rub it in."

"Rub what in?"

"How happy he was. Is. How happy you make him."

"Well, Mab, I don't have to tell you that I don't make him anything."

"Perhaps, But he is happy. I can hear it in his voice. I saw it in him when you were here together."

"As sappy as it sounds, we complete each other."

"I think you two have a different form of what Bill and I have."

"Oh, Mab," Rio sighed, "I hope so. I want to be his forever."

That word made me raise my eyebrows in surprise. "You want him to turn you?"

"Oh." Rio actually looked confused, but it only lasted a split second. "I was thinking more that I would live a very long time, even without being entirely fae."

"I guess we'll find out," I mused.

"So what did he say?"

I looked at her, puzzled. Rio clarified, "You said he called to tell you how happy he is."

"Well, you probably picked up on how we get under each other's skins? So you need to understand that he loves irritating me almost as much as he loves loving you." Rio snorted, but I forged on; I wanted her to know. "Rio, when he came to Cornwall—hoping, but not knowing if you'd show up here—he was fairly certain he'd lost you. You had told him you intended to bond with him, but then you ran from him." Rio opened her mouth to object, but I held up my hand to stop her.

"Someone as smart as you are should instantly see his situation clearly: he thought he loved me—or maybe he did love me, or maybe he thought he should love me. We were blood-bonded and yet I had spent a long time running from him, rejecting him. Looking back, I was so mean to him. I had no idea what I was pushing away—he had always tried to take care of me, in his way, and I had no true appreciation for it. I simply lacked the life experiences and maturity to understand.

"And I had been so very badly hurt by another vampire; I didn't think I'd ever get over it. I wanted to love Eric, but I simply couldn't give myself over to him. I didn't think I could risk the pain of any more rejections. And back then, he was a manipulative rat bastard"—now it was Rio's turn to flinch—"I'm sorry, but it's so true! Vamps had only been recognized in human circles for a few short years, and he was making his way through a tricky, dangerous thicket of politics and business. The only time he showed me any consistent tenderness was when the witches spelled him into amnesia and he didn't remember his life.

"So I ran from him, hated the blood bond, fought against him in so many ways. And then I asked Bill to turn me. Over time, it overpowered the blood bond with Eric and he knew we were lost to each other. It was the ultimate running away. So when you, my daughter, ran too, he was devastated. He thought silly Sookie was happening to him all over again.

"When he called me to say the sword was safe, he also called to say that he was glad I had never let him back in my life, because he understood now that I was not the Stackhouse woman he was destined for."

"That must have hurt," Rio observed without a trace of pity.

"There is a time it would have. But I thank god every day for Bill. I love him more than I ever loved the sun or food or coffee or the beating of my heart. If Eric believes you were destined for him, so I know without any doubts that I was destined for Bill.

"Bill and I have lots of flaws—and we have an eternity to work those through. It keeps us busy. It keeps us in love.

"I can't even find words to tell you how relieved I am that Eric has a chance to be so happy. Like I keep saying: he deserves it. And I did not deserve him."

Rio hugged me then; the chilly waves lapped at our ankles.

"Thanks, Mab."

"What for?"

She gave me a big grin. "For making me for Eric."

I shuddered just a bit and said, "For that we should likely thank Niall." And lost in our thoughts, arms around each other's waists, we crossed the beach to go home.