Chapter Ten
I played with my hair as I watched Celeste pace around the kitchen.
"Mom, I know that, but--" She turned to me and rolled her eyes. They'd been on the phone arguing for nearly an hour now. "Okay, okay. I'll talk to her." I didn't like the sound of that. She hung up the portable phone and set it down on the counter. She took a deep breath as she walked towards the table and sat beside me.
"What's going on?" I asked. She licked her lips and grabbed my hands in hers. "Celeste?"
"Mom wants you to move back to Virginia." My jaw dropped.
"What? No way!" I jumped up from the table and moved around the kitchen so that the island was in between Celeste and I.
"Karli, she's not doing well. She needs you."
"Celeste, no. You need me and I need you. And then there's the Sons and--" I stopped. Her eyes met mine but she said nothing. She'd never say it out loud, she'd never hurt me like that, but she didn't really have to; it was in her eyes. It wasn't going to be the same after the night of my ascension. I hadn't gone to school the rest of that week. In fact, I hadn't left the mansion. "Cel, no, I won't go back."
"I won't force you to, but at least promise you'll give it some thought?" I sighed and blinked back tears that formed out of nowhere. "Karli Sue?"
"I'll think about it."
: x : x : x :
My phone rang and I rolled my eyes to see Reid's name displayed. He'd called more than Tyler and Pogue put together, but I wasn't answering any of their phone calls. The only one I wanted to answer was the only one that I wasn't going to get: Caleb's. With that thought I pressed the silence button and tossed the phone across the room. I turned my attention back to the book I was reading until I heard the intercom buzz. I pressed the button on my room phone to be greeted by Celeste's voice.
"Karli?"
"Yeah?"
"Phone, line one," she said.
"Who is it?"
"Mom." I froze. It was hard to believe, but I still hadn't talked to my mother. Not even once since I'd moved, and I didn't really have the urge to do so. Where she wouldn't make Celeste feel guilty for leaving her, she'd pour on the guilt with me. She'd always done that. Celeste had always been the favorite and up until the move to Marion, I hadn't cared. I wasn't even sure if I really did now.
I picked up the phone with a 'hello' that came out as more of a whisper.
"Karlissa?" Her voice was quiet and weak sounding. It shocked the hell out of me, to say the least. I was expecting the clear, confident voice that I'd heard since birth.
"Mom?"
"Hello, honey." Her voice broke.
"Hi."
"How are you?" I rolled my eyes.
"I'm fine, Mom."
"How was your ascension?"
"I'm alive, aren't I?" That come out bitchier than I had meant it to.
"Well, yes, but that doesn't explain anything to me."
"There's nothing to explain. I made it through." There, that was nicer.
"Tell me what it was like."
"Why?"
"Because it's a huge part of your life and I want to know about it."
"It was painful but I made it through because I'm strong, okay, Mom?"
"Karli, please--"
"Please what, Mom? You want to all of a sudden act like you care? No, the only reason you're even talking to me is to try and convince me to come back to Marion."
"Is that such a bad thing that I miss my baby?"
"Mom, please. Don't."
"Don't what, Karlissa? I'm sick, damn it. I'm sick and I need your help. Why is that so much to ask?"
"No, you're an alcoholic and you need rehab."
"What have I done to make you resent me so?"
"Nothing, Mom." I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and folded my legs under myself on the bed.
"Karli, I need you. I know you don't want to come back here. I know that. But I have no one else. Celeste has Travis and the baby."
"What about my feelings? Did you ever stop to think that maybe I'm happier here?"
"Damn you, Karli, your happiness is all I think about."
"Really? Because every time you make a decision that involves me, it always seems like you choose the wrong answer."
"So, what? I'm a bad mother. There, happy?" See? She was turning the whole thing around to make me feel bad.
"I didn't say that, Mom."
"You didn't have to." We were silent for a few moments. "I'm sorry, Karli. For everything: every wrong decision, for loving you too much, for pushing you too hard, for whatever. I'm sorry." I think she expected me to apologize, too, but I didn't feel like I'd done anything wrong.
"Okay."
"Okay? That's all you can say is okay?"
"What do you want me to say, Mom?"
"That you still love me."
"I do still love you. My love for you was never in question here."
"Then how come you won't come home?"
"Because am home! God! I'm sorry that you can't cope with life, Mom, but that's not my fault or my problem. I'm happy here, god damn it! Why should I have to drop my entire life, again, for you? It's not fair. It wasn't fair the first time, and it won't be fair this time, either. So, no, I'm not coming back to you!" I slammed the phone down on the receiver and burst into tears, burying my head in my pillows.