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Chapter Seventeen
I stared out of the window of the airplane seat, feeling the tension between myself and Reid. He wanted so badly to ask me about what was going on, but I could tell that he didn't want to set me off. I glanced at him and he was staring at me with a thoughtful expression.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing." He wanted to know.
"Reid, I can't tell you."
"I don't expect you to, Karli. I just don't like that Caleb knows and I don't." I sent him a look. "No, it's not like that. I just hate being left out of the loop."
"Well, right now, the loop isn't such a hot place to be."
We didn't talk for the rest of the ride. He fell asleep and I mostly just cried to myself. I wanted to tell him but I didn't. I wanted him to know, but I wasn't going to dig my grave any further if I could help it. This information could cost me my life if it hadn't already.
I was surprised when we reached the gate and Caleb pulled me into a tight hug. He kissed the top of my head and pulled me along with Reid on my other side. I noticed that Pogue and Tyler came out of nowhere and walked behind us. We were all completely silent until we reached the Hummer. I sat in the middle backseat sandwiched between Caleb and Reid. Believe me, it was an awkward place. Especially when Caleb grabbed my hand and Reid put his arm around me. I knew that Caleb was just worried about me, but Reid saw it as a power struggle. To comfort him, I put my other hand on his leg and gave him a reassuring look. His face softened and he almost smiled.
We got out at the colony house, but when Pogue, Reid, and Tyler went to the basement, Caleb directed me upstairs.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"I didn't tell Ty and Pogue what's happening. Just that you were in trouble and I'd explain later if I could."
"Caleb--"
"No, don't, Karli. Sarah shouldn't have told me. God, she shouldn't have."
"I understand why she did. I can't promise that I wouldn't have if I'd have noticed the aging, too." His expression changed and for the first time I noticed the fireplace was lit. I also realized that I was cold. I moved to stand in front of it and he moved with me.
"Karli, I need some answers here. I need to know what I'm dealing with. If the Elders come, I've got to know what the situation is and if I can fix it." I looked at him and it dawned on me.
"How do you know about the Elders, Caleb?" He gave me an owlish stare.
"What?"
"The Elders. When I talked to you earlier, you acted like you knew exactly who I was speaking of. They aren't in the book. Hell, they aren't even in the prologue. How do you know them?" He pulled up a chair and sat down heavily. "Cay?"
He was silent for a long moment before he finally spoke with a harsh tone. "They visited when I killed Chase." His eyes flicked to my face but I didn't allow my expression to change.
"And?" Wiping his hands down his face, he slouched in the chair. He looked model perfect in that position, shadows dancing on his tanned skin from the fire. I immediately stopped that train of thought and waited for him to continue.
"I didn't have plans to kill Chase, Karli. I only wanted to stop him from hurting Sarah. I guess that I had this crazy notion in my head that I could just show him the evil of his ways and that maybe he'd just reform."
"You can't change people like that."
"Yeah, I learned that the hard way. Anyways, I fought him until I nearly had nothing left. I just about took everything out of me. I was trying so hard to not kill him and I finally just had to. I did it for Pogue and Kate, and us. I did it for you, Karlissa. I was scared that if I didn't just finish him that he'd somehow find out about you. I was scared that he'd try to kill you for your power." He paused and I saw his composure break down. He gritted his teeth, trying to hold it together but I saw the tear fall from his eyes. I sat in his lap and hugged him to me.
"Caleb, you did the right thing. If you hadn't have done it he may have killed the others or me, or even you."
"Yeah, but I still killed someone, Karli. You don't know what that feels like. I'm a murderer."
"No. Listen to me," I grabbed his face so that I could look into his eyes. "You did the right thing and you are punishing yourself for it. Caleb, I'm just glad that you had the strength to do what you did. If Chase would have gotten through you, you know that he would have challenged Pogue, Reid, and then Tyler. And what if he had found out about me? I'm still alive because of you. I owe you my life."
"No you don't, Karli. Even though it may be on the line for me."
"Well, if it saves your life, then it is worth it." He stared at me for a moment before ever so softly kissing me. I let him, too. I felt my heart stop beating and suddenly I was just so warm. I sighed into his mouth and he quickly pulled away from me.
"God, I'm sorry, Karli." I touched my fingers to my lips, but I could still feel his on them. I moved from his lap into the other chair. He was waiting for me to respond but I just couldn't. I mean, I was kind of sort of dating Reid but damn! Caleb knew what he was doing with those lips. Those swollen, soft, delicious lips. If he wouldn't have pulled back when he did…
"We shouldn't tell Reid about this." He nodded and looked away from me. "Are you going to tell Sarah?"
"I'm not telling Sarah much of anything right now."
"What does that mean?"
"We're done."
"Oh." I considered that for a moment. "Because of the secret?"
"Yeah."
"I can't believe I'm about to say this." He looked back at me. "You can't be mad at her for trying to save you."
"Why?"
"Because she loves you? She doesn't want you to die."
"It doesn't matter. She's endangered your life, Karli. If you die because of me, I really don't know what I'll do with myself."
"Don't say that. Caleb, if I had seen you aging or showing signs of addiction, I hope and pray like hell that I would have the courage to tell you the truth."
"Yeah, but that should have been your call, Karli. Not Sarah's."
"So, you broke up with her because she's trying to save your life?"
"No, I broke up with her because she's compromising yours." We didn't speak for a few moments, only listening to the sounds of the crackling fireplace.
"So, where do we go from here, Caleb?"
"I want you to explain the prologue to me. Everything about it."
"The prologue explains my existence."
"Which is?"
"I'm actually a descendant to the third child, the only girl. John Putnam didn't want people to know he'd had a female so he hid her away. Back then they thought the sex of the child was the mother's fault, and so he killed the mother."
"Why didn't he just kill the daughter instead of hiding her away?"
"I don't know. I guess he didn't have the heart to. If he would have known that she'd inherit the powers when she turned 13, I'm sure he would have."
"He didn't believe she would?"
"No. He didn't think the female was 'worthy' of the power. Which is why if the female who is to ascend it's just as strong as a male, she'll die. Supposedly, that is. It's never actually happened."
"The mistresses are who wrote the book, right?"
"Yeah. They started with the prologue but didn't get any farther while John was still alive. He found out what they were doing and he ripped it out and threw it into the fire, but it wouldn't burn. He also told them that if they ever wrote of the female child again that he'd come back from the dead and kill them. He didn't notice that it wasn't burning, and that's about the time the village burst in and took him."
"The mistresses rescued it from the fire?"
"Yeah."
"And the addiction and the aging?"
"There had to be some sort of system of checks and balances, so the mistresses came together and created one. They were angry about John threatening them and about him hiding away the female child, so they decided to punish the male descendants by limiting their power usage."
"So how does it work?"
"It's a psychological thing. You four and every generation before you were brought up really and truly believing that using the powers caused you to become addicted to them while aging you. The more addicted you are, the faster and more that you use, thereby aging you faster."
"Wow."
"Caleb, I really don't think you realize just how much power you possess. You've never really tested it out because of fear of the consequences."
"But you have because you don't have consequences."
"We could take over the world, Cay. God, we can fucking fly! Walk through walls, transform ourselves, cast spells."
"Anything we can't do?"
I shrugged. "Can't time travel. We can't go back and fix things we screwed up." I let my eyes say a little more than my mouth.
"So, wait, if these pages were passed down your bloodline, your dad knew about them?"
"Yeah."
"He didn't age?"
"No."
"How'd he die, then?" I hadn't really expected him to ask that question. I'd never thought it would actually come up.
"He killed himself." Caleb sat up quickly.
"He what?"
"He willed his power to me as a way of killing himself." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "That's why my mom drinks so badly. She blames herself. They were fighting a lot right there at the end. I think it was actually over me. I think he was worried that I wouldn't make it through the ascension."
"That was two years ago, Karli." I shrugged. "You just ascended."
"My daddy loved me, Caleb. What can I say? Maybe I was just an excuse for him."
"So, did you get ascension-like powers before you actually ascended?" I nodded.
"Yeah, I just didn't get the ascending experience. It was just like all of a sudden my power was amped up by a million. Now, it's a completely different story since I now have my own powers. I feel limitless."
"Why didn't you tell me any of this?"
"I couldn't. It was just easier to let everyone think that my dad just aged overnight and died. It made it easier for my mom, too. Cay, we had to leave this town because everything reminded her of it." He nodded.
"Yeah, I know. You just left so abruptly."
"That wasn't my choice. How come you guys never called or wrote me?"
"I wrote you hundreds of times, Karli. I just never sent them."
"Why not?" He smiled at me.
"They were love letters."
"No they weren't!"
"Yeah, lame, huh?"
"No, you should have sent them."
He shrugged. "It was like you left us, abandoned us here. You were the central piece that tied us all together. You were my girl, Pogue's best friend, Tyler's confident, and Reid's--" He looked at me.
"Fuck buddy?" I finished for him.
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry about that."
"That's another subject for another night." I smiled at him as he got up from his chair. "We should go downstairs and talk to those idiots."
"What are we going to tell them?"
"I have no idea." He held my hand as he walked me down the stairs to the basement.
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