From the journal of Rosto the Piper,
King of the Rogue, Corus

December 17, 247

Obscenely Early in the Morning

This is absolutely wonderful. My head is throbbing, my leg aches, and I haven't been able to sleep yet. It's still at least an hour or two before dawn, but sleep won't come to me. I don't really know why, but it's extremely irritating. As if it hasn't been enough trouble with the nightmares, this just tops it all off.

After I finished writing in my journal last night, I changed and went to bed, thinking that I would just talk to Beka in the morning if she didn't come and wake me up. I still feel totally drained from the duel and the healing. It didn't help that Lorena showed up. That just added to the problem really, even if she did save my life.

I heard Beka's footsteps on the stairs while I was writing, but she continued up to her own room and didn't come back down. The others followed not too much later, when I was mostly done. Obviously, Beka did not come back down after she went up. I get this feeling that she's extremely upset with me, and I don't blame her, to be perfectly honest.

The fact that I have kept silent about my past irks her, I know, and I can't help but feel guilty about how much I've kept from her. I'm wondering, at this point, if it's because I can't sleep that is causing all of the guilt to suddenly come crashing down. Suddenly, I feel like I've been deceiving Beka, even though I haven't. And honestly, I wish my past would stay that way – in my past. I thought I left all of this behind when I left Scanra. It seems that I didn't. Everything I thought was behind me has come back to bite me. Breno, Kashana, Lorena...just thinking about all of this is making my head hurt even more.

At this point, I know that I have to tell Beka. She'll never forgive me if I don't. I know she's probably furious with me. I heard something hard hit the wall (it was loud enough that I could hear it through the floor, obviously) after she'd gone upstairs. If I were in her position, I know I would be as mad as she is. Admittedly, I can honestly say that I'm as shocked as she is. If this boy…if he was my son, Lorena would have told me, wouldn't she? It just isn't making sense to me. Lorena and I were close once, and I still trust her. If it wasn't for her, I would be dead ten times over, or stuck in some igloo back north with a dozen children and a quiet, submissive woman that I probably couldn't stand as my wife.

If it wasn't for Lorena, I would never have left Scanra, and I wouldn't be here with Beka. I'd never have met Aniki or Kora, or become the King of the Rogue. I'd never have gotten away from those infernally irritating mothers who pestered me to marry one of their daughters. I shudder just to think of those mots. I don't know how Rikki put up with it, and he dealt with it longer than I did. Then again, Rikki's as straight as Beka or Angelina, whereas I'm not. I've always been crooked at heart.

But, in all honesty, if Beka doesn't forgive me, I don't know what I'll do. I hate the idea of living without her – I love her more than anything else in my life.

I wonder what my Court would say if they knew that I, Rosto the Piper, King of the Court of the Rogue, was (am, I should say) in love with Rebakah Cooper, the Terrier and Bloodhound of the Provost's Guard. I wonder what they would think if they knew that I would even give up my throne for her if she honestly asked me to chose between her and my throne. I wonder what would happen if they knew that there is no other mot in the world that I love more, and that I want her, and only her to be mine, to be the mother of my children.

But if she were to leave me…I don't know how, or even if, I would be able to deal with that. I told Beka back when we were alone at Port Caynn that she is what keeps me human. She's the reason I can still fight this monster my mind has created, the Rogue. If she left me, I think that would be the end of the person known as Rosto the Piper. I have fought so hard against my monster, but that would be the end of that fight. The Rogue would win, because Rosto would have nothing left to fight for.

I'm just so frustrated and tired right now. Between my nightmares and this sleepless night, I feel like I'm never going to get a decent night's sleep. At this point, the smartest thing for me to do would be to take a few days off from Court so that I can actually get some sleep.

I suppose I'm just going to have to wait it out before I decide anything. Come what may, this is certainly going to be an interesting day. I'm going back to bed to see if I can get some sleep tonight.

Before Court

It's already been a long day, and I've still got Court tonight. Beka seems to have clearly forgiven me. I still think I'm in trouble, though. And I can't even tell if she's going to make me sleep (or trying to, since I didn't get any sleep whatsoever last night) alone again tonight. From earlier, I think I might have gotten lucky.

By the time the sun was up, being as I hadn't gotten to sleep, I was already in a foul mood. Is it too much to ask for a decent night's sleep here?

After changing into a plain dark blue shirt and pulling my hair back into a horsetail, I made my way down the stairs. I felt thoroughly horrible between my leg, my head, and the tired ache behind my eyes that told me that I needed to sleep, even though I couldn't seem to get any. Beka was sitting at one of the tables with Corcoran, sipping that Copper Isles tea that she loves so much. All I managed was an unintelligible grunt when she looked at me as I flopped down in a chair across from her.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," she muttered, her ghost-eyes resting on my face. I could see the annoyance in her blue eyes. Of course I had woken up on the wrong side of the bed! I hadn't gotten a wink of sleep, and I had been lonely all night!

"Someone wasn't there to keep me company," I retorted, narrowing my eyes slightly. She sent me a warning look.

"Don't take your crankiness out on me," she said. Corcoran stood up just then, looking like he was getting away from a battle zone. He's seen me and Beka fight in similar ways before.

"Two year olds are cranky," I told her, already thoroughly annoyed. I saw a glint in her eyes when I said that.

"Get used to it. You just found yourself stuck with a two year old," she snapped, taking a jab at me about last night. I glared at her until a voice forced my attention elsewhere.

"He's four," Lorena said as she appeared from the hallway. "And keep your voices down while he sleeps, please," she continued, like nothing was happening right in front of her. She always was like that. She turned to me, greeting me in Scanran.

"Dobrijo jutro, Rikkisram," she said.

"Dobrijo jutro, Lorena," I replied, looking down at the table for a moment in search of something to eat. I speared a couple of sausages and a roll, glancing up between her and Beka while I was at it. Beka looked less than pleased as she glared at the wall two feet away from my shoulder. I violently speared a piece of the sausage, just as displeased about the situation as Beka was. I don't like fighting with her any more than she likes fighting with me.

Lorena sat down at the counter instead of at the table with me and Beka. She made no move to join us for breakfast. It wasn't that long before Kora, Ersken, Aniki, and Phelan joined us downstairs. I wanted to formally introduce them to Lorena since there hadn't been time for that last night before she had disappeared. Not to mention, that was in front of my Court. That wouldn't have been particularly intelligent on my part. I spoke in Scanran, addressing Kora and Aniki, and introduced them. We chatted for a few minutes in Scanran before we were interrupted.

"Dosta!" I turned in my seat to see that it had been Beka who had spoken. She was on her feet and glaring at Lorena. Beka had spoken Scanran. My Beka had spoken Scanran! I stared at her for a moment, honestly surprised, while she continued to shoot daggers at Lorena with her icy-eyed gaze. "Enough with the Scanran already," She continued, her tone angry. Now, Beka doesn't lose her temper often, so for her to have lost it with Lorena…she had to have been pretty mad.

"You," she hissed, her eyes fixed only on the cause of her irritation. "You come here, toting that child, but you very rudely do not introduce yourself or the boy, or say why you are here. For a Patsovlieri, you are most extremely rude," she said, mixing some Tortallan with Scanran for a very interesting result. Lorena stared at her, looking quiet affronted.

"No need to shout," she told Beka, using a tone I'd only heard a few times, like when I had said something I shouldn't have.

"No," Beka growled, "you are absolutely right. There is no need to shout. But do this entire household a favor and tell us what we're all dying to hear. That boy," she paused for just a moment. "You will tell us exactly who he is, and how he is related to Rosto," she said. "Right now, I have a splitting headache, and if you skip around the subject, I will personally escort you from here to the city gates and you can go back to whatever snowdrift you came out of."

I have to admit, the snowdrift comment was pretty clever. And the fact that she figured out that Lorena was a Patsovlieri so fast was brilliant.

Comprehension dawned in Lorena's eyes. They flicked between me and Beka in a split second. She nodded, the understanding showing on her face. She looked Beka in the eyes again.

"I am sorry," she said softly. I don't think I've ever heard Lorena apologize to anyone before this. She always seemed untouchable in that aspect. "The two of you keep your relationship so well hidden, I hadn't heard about it," she continued. That was a relief to me. Often, I wonder if anyone has figured it out and spread it, but for it not to have gotten to Lorena, who keeps tabs everywhere, is a good sign. "My apologies to you. If I'd known Rosto had a lover, I wouldn't have kept silent. I would have handled it differently. The boy is not his son," she said softly.

I looked at her, almost not believing her (despite the fact that I desperately did want to believe her). She had to be telling the truth, though. I could see the sincerity on her face. Then a wave of relief washed over me.

"He's not?" Beka asked as she sat down again. I echoed her question, staring at my old friend.

"No, he's not. The boy is Rosto's nephew. Risaph is the son of Rosto's sister, Angelina," she replied softly. Everything went silent when she said that. Kora and Aniki glanced at me in disbelief as I gaped at Lorena. I had neglected to tell either of them much about Angelina or most of what happened before I met them. In truth, Beka's the only one I've ever told that much about my past, really. No one else really cared enough about it to ask.

I leaned back in my chair, balancing it on the back two legs, completely and utterly relieved that he – Risaph, as Lorena had called him – wasn't my son. Then a thought struck me, and a wave of worry washed over me. I sat forward, letting the chair drop to all fours again.

"Lorena, what's happened to my sister? Has something happened to Angelina?" I asked, meeting her lake-blue eyes. Lorena watched me for a moment, tilting her head slightly.

"Not that I know of, Rikkisram. She was fine when I left, but that was weeks ago," Lorena said. I was only slightly relieved. Why had she sent her son to me, of all people? Angelina knows that I went crooked not too long after arranging her marriage. I was just sick of being pestered all the time, and I'd always known that I wasn't meant to stay straight. The Court of the Rogue had always called to me.

My head gave a painful throb just then, as I was thinking. I groaned softly and put my head in my hands, leaning on the table. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to make it stop hurting. Not that that worked at all.

"What's wrong, Rosto?" Aniki asked. I put my hands down and looked at her.

"What do you think? My leg still hurts from what happened last night, and on top of that, not only did I not get any sleep, but I have a bloody awful headache," I said. I pushed my plate out of the way, leaning just a little to rest my forehead on the smooth wood.

The room was silent as my headache throbbed behind my eyes. I could literally hear my brain pounding. There were footsteps and the sound of chairs moving against the hardwood floor before I felt a cool hand on my neck.

"My mother used to get these when the stress became too much for her," I heard Beka's voice say, clearly very close. I lifted my head just a little to peak at her over my arm, which was in the way.

"How does it go away?" I asked her, sounding admittedly cranky.

"Sleep is a start," she said, sitting down next to me, and putting a hand on my cheek. She looked so tender in that moment, whatever anger I may have had this morning evaporated. She pulled me toward her, holding my head close to hers. Whispering ever so quietly so as to not compound my headache, "I'll sing you to sleep, Rosto. Then put Pounce on the door. Please. You're in too much pain to think."

I let her lead me upstairs, and I went back into my bed-clothes. She sat on the bed and in a few moments I found myself with my head in her lap, as she ran her fingers through my hair, murmuring and crooing that we'd talk more about our unusual blond house-guests as soon as I was feeling better.

"I'm sorry," I told her, looking up. My Rogue brain was saying I was too vulnerable, she could kill me a dozen different ways when I had my head in her lap like this. I told my Rogue self to beat it, he was the reason I had this blasted headache. "I never thought I'd see Lorena again. She was supposed to stay in Scanra. I never thought I'd have to mention all of my previous partners to you. Nor did I expect any of the like from you. It's just....." I paused, unsure how to finish.

"It's just that Lorena is your past, and you'd rather she stayed there," she finished for me. I couldn't help but smile at that. Beka knows me so well. That was one of the times I can say that I'm thankful for it. In this case, she knew what I was trying to say when I couldn't think of the words to use.

"Exactly, Beka. I don't want to have to keep reliving my past," I told her. "I just want to be able to live the present, to be with you." There was a soft smile on her face when I said that. She looked down at me, her blue-grey eyes so warm and caring. I lost myself in those eyes for several moments while she continued to run her fingers through my hair, brushing it back from my face and wrapping it around each finger in turn.

I love those moments where the two of us are alone and at peace like that. It doesn't happen often, but when it does…those are my favorite moments. Then we're just Rosto and Beka, no worries, no cares, just each other.

It was then, ever so softly, that she began to sing. Her voice was soft and sweet, so soothing to my aching head that I could feel myself relax bit by bit. I don't remember what she was singing, but it was beautiful, whatever it was. The throbbing came to a stop as I dropped off to sleep with my head still in her lap.

When I woke again hours later, Beka was gone, as I expected she would be. I sat up in my bed, pushing the covers off and blinked at the room groggily. I let out a sigh and let myself fall back on the pillow, closing my eyes again for a minute. For that moment, time passed slowly, as I just let myself be calm and peaceful.

With another sigh, I hauled myself out of bed, changing back into the day-clothes I'd put on earlier. I opened my door to find Pounce curled up against it, just as Beka had said. He lifted his head, looking at me with those piercing violet glims.

Pounce moved, getting to his paws and stretching in front of my door before disappearing up the stairs to the second floor without so much as a word. I shook my head as I made my way back down the stairs, wondering where Beka was. My stomach growled when I was halfway down the stairs, which made me wonder what time it was.

Aniki and Phelan were sitting at the counter talking to Corcoran when I got down there. There was no sign of Beka or Lorena. For that matter, there was no sign of anyone else. Aniki glanced at me, a slightly wary look in her eyes when I seated myself at the counter. I frowned at her. I hadn't acted that bad this morning had I?

"Are you feeling better, Rosto?" She asked. I nodded.

"Much," I responded, turning on the stool. "Where're Kora, Ersken, and Beka?" I asked. Aniki glanced at Phelan, a grin on her face.

"Told you that's the first thing he'd ask," she said to him. Phelan rolled his eyes. "Kora is out shopping, and dragged Ersken with her," she continued. "Don't know about Beka, though. Phelan and I were with Kora and Ersken until a little while ago."

"Rosto." A voice from behind me almost made me jump. I turned to see Lorena standing in the hallway to the Dove's guest rooms. She nodded her head towards the doorway to the room she was staying in. For a moment, I hesitated. Lorena seemed to see my reluctance and pursed her lips. I sighed and got up, making my way over to where she stood. "I want to talk to you in private, Rikkisram," she said. I nodded in consent. I wasn't sure that it was a conversation I wanted to have. She led me back to her room and sat down, closing the door behind us.

"Alright, Lorena, will you please tell me what's going on?" I asked, switching to Scanran to make it easier for both of us, even though I speak mostly Tortallan – Common – now.

"I already told you a good half of it this morning," she replied, taking the change in stride. "Angelina was doing fine as far as I know when I last saw her. She sent Risaph to you to protect him," she said. I frowned and cut her off before she could go on.

"To protect him? Why would she need me to protect him?" I asked. Lorena gave me a dirty look for cutting her off. She always hated it when I did that.

"You chose a good man for Angelina to marry, but his father isn't so nice. You probably remember that both your sister and her husband are dark; and you can plainly see that Risaph is certainly not. He – her father-in-law – thinks that Angelina was disloyal to her husband and that Risaph isn't legitimate. He wants to kill the poor lad, Rikkisram. It's not safe for him there anymore," she said, sitting down on the bed. There was a silence between us for a moment. "Angelina trusts you more than anyone else in the world, Rosto. You know that. She knows that you'll take good care of her son."

"How am I supposed to do that, Lorena? I'm the Patsov here, anyone with any connection to me is in danger just by that," I said. "I don't know a thing about children, much less how I'm going to make him safe when his blood relationship to me is enough to get him kidnapped or killed on my account," I told her. She watched me calmly with her bright blue eyes, her face expressionless. "Why do you think Beka and I have worked so hard to keep our relationship a secret?" She was silent for a few moments, as if she was waiting for me to be finished.

"It's not up to me, Rikkisram. Even if I do have a number of problems with the way you run your Court, this is up to you." Lorena stood up, moving closer to me again. "Now, we need to have a talk about that." Her whole demeanor changed just then. "What were you thinking, fighting that duel like that?!" She demanded, pointing her finger at me, and jabbing me in the chest with it to mark every word. I opened my mouth to answer but she gave me a look that shut me up. "You can fight better than that, and you know it!" She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at me. "I taught you to fight better than that!" I drew myself up to my full height, which was several inches taller than her.

"I am the King of the Rogue and I will not be chastised about the way I want to run things," I said loftily. Lorena reached up and grabbed my ear, dragging me down to her level. "Ow! Let go!" I yelped. Lorena looked at me, appearing very displeased.

"Don't you talk to me like that, Rosto. I taught you everything you know about the Rogue, and other things besides. You will respect me, or I will teach you why I am what I am again," she hissed in my ear. "Do you understand me?" I nodded, not at all pleased.

"Yes, I understand, now will you please let go of my ear? I don't want it to be red when I have Court, Lorena." She let go, still giving me that look again. I slipped out of the room, rubbing my ear. That was the Lorena I remembered. A cove can't get away with being cheeky around her at all…

I walked back to the counter and sat down again, still rubbing my ear. Why do they always go for my ear? I can't help but wonder that. I begged some lunch off of Corcoran before Beka reappeared. She smiled when I looked up as she entered the Dove. I couldn't help but grin back at her over the leftover goose from last night that had become my lunch. I stuck the last bit in my mouth as she walked over to me. She looked me straight in the eyes, still smiling slightly.

"Did sleeping help?" She asked. I could tell that she wanted to talk about something. I nodded.

"Yes, it did. Thank you, love," I said softly. I turned, thanking Corcoran, and led her up the stairs. I drew her into my room and closed the door behind us before pulling her to me. I just needed to feel her in my arms. I just wanted to hold her close and never let her go. We stood there embracing for several minutes before I let her go. "Forgive me, Beka?" I asked. I tried to convey how sorry I was for scaring her last night, for taking my crankiness out on her this morning, and for everything that I had done that had made her upset in the last few days.

"I already did," she said simply, that faint smile on her face again. I pulled her close again for a short moment.

"Thank you," I said softly, planting a soft kiss on her cheek. "Anything you want to know, just ask. I'll answer what I can," I continued. An understanding flashed in her eyes.

"I can't help but wonder, why does she – Lorena – call you 'Rikkisram,' Rosto?" She asked. I chuckled softly.

"There's explanation for that one," I told her. "'Rikkisram' is a variant of the Gallan way that a child is named. Take Kora, for example. Her surname is Ingensra. It's the Gallan way of saying she's Ingen's daughter," I said. Beka frowned, probably thinking about what I've told her before.

"Rikkisram? But…" I put my finger up, making it clear that I had more to say.

"My own father died when I was five. I barely even remember him at all. Angelina was only a year old when he died. We were poor and my mother couldn't support us very well. Often, I would give her my dinner when I saw that she had no food, and I knew how hard she was trying," I paused for just a moment there, those memories flashing through my mind.

"As soon as the acceptable mourning period was over, she married again. She married a cove by the name of Rikki, who had two sons of his own and had lost his wife several years before. The older of the two was called Calyn, and the younger, who was just a few years older than me, was named after his father, Rikki. My step-father was a good man. He treated me and Angelina as if we were his own. He taught me how to hunt, to track, to ride a horse, everything. To him, I was his youngest son, and Angelina was his daughter. I can remember him telling my ma' that it didn't matter to him who had actually fathered us, we were his just as much as Cal or Rikki was. He's the only father I really remember, the only one I bothered to remember, because he was there," I said. Beka stared at me without a word for a moment. "That's why Lorena calls me 'Rikkisram' – 'Rikki's son.' Because in all but actuality, he was my father. She's the only one who calls me that, though. It's a personal sort of nickname, really."

"So that's your last name? Rikkisram. Rosto Rikkisram. I don't know if I like it. I think you look like a Rosto the Piper," Beka said, examining me with a funny look on her face. She kissed me quickly. "You taste like a song."

"So do you, love," I told her, kissing her back just as quickly.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about that part my past before. At that, I've never told Aniki or Kora about most of it. I suppose that it's just because I try to avoid telling people about my past at all. But with Beka…well, I trust Beka. I trust her in more ways than it's reasonable for me to. She nodded, thinking for an instant before she asked another question.

"Rosto, why did you trust her when you were dying?" She looked straight into my eyes when she said that. I didn't tear my gaze away until I answered.

"I trusted Lorena because we were close once. Rikki and I were both still unmarried when he was twenty-two and I was eighteen, and every mot in town wanted her daughter to marry one of the handsome brothers. They pestered both of us, like matchmaking mothers tend to do. I wasn't ready to settle down with anyone at the time, and most of them were quiet, meek little things that couldn't hold my interest," I paused, unable to stop myself from grinning at her. If anything, Beka was far from quiet and meek once you got past her shy exterior.

"I had been poking around the Rogue for a while – I was drawn to it as you were to the Dogs, and it just got to the point that I had to get rid of that 'good husband material' credibility. I started running messages for the district Rogue, Lorena. She is to the Scanran Rogue as Lockhorn is to me. Though, she had control of the Rogues within about a twenty mile radius compared to just a city. The real destruction of that credibility came when I stayed overnight at the building she held Court in. I had run three messages to her sector chief – which, in this case, is an example of my district chiefs – about ten miles away in the course of the day. Someone saw me leaving the building that morning, and word spread like wildfire: 'Rosto had gone crooked.' At that point, I hadn't even gotten as far as becoming a rusher, and it wasn't until a few weeks later that I asked Lorena to teach me." I stopped again, pausing for a moment to sit down on my bed. Beka joined me an instant later.

"Lorena taught me how to fight. She made me stronger, faster, and taught me the wiles of the Patsov's Court. By the time she was done training me, she had dubbed me the perfect rusher. The only person in the whole area that I couldn't beat was her. I was her right hand. I did everything for her, and in turn, I was rewarded by her affections. Yes, we were involved," I said when Beka opened her mouth to ask something. She closed it again when I said that.

"But we broke it off just before I was sent to the Patsov with her reports. That was when I met Kassie. Between the time when I joined her Court, and then, though, Lorena saved my life a number of times, even if she was the reason I was in danger half the time. You know the basic story of what happened with Kashana. After that relationship failed, Lorena was there when I needed a friend. She was the one who told me that there were opportunities in the South, in Tortall. I went back to the Patsov's Court, where I eventually met Kora and Aniki. You can guess the rest of the story. That's the most basic version of what's happened and why I trust her as I do. It ain't the greatest version, but I'm too tired to thrill you with my storytelling abilities," I told her with a grin.

"You know, that would make an interesting song. The Crooked Tale, the thief's ballad, the true Song of Rosto the Piper." She leaned into my side, thinking about the possibilities. "You could write it. Write everything to music, from then to now. People would listen, but no one would know if it was real or not. Sorry, I interrupted you. Continue."

"And I trust her because she made me who I am now, in more ways than one. She helped me become the best rusher I could be, and many other things besides. Lorena also taught me, when I was hurting, that only the truest of loves endure time and distance. That's what helped me get over Kassie when after we had fought and her father sent her to Galla, and then again when I saw her later on. Lorena also encouraged me that I would find someone someday, someone I loved more than anyone else in the world, who would love me in the same way. She was right in so many ways, Beka," I said. Carefully, I leaned towards her, placing a soft, sweet kiss on her lips. "I love you, Beka, and you alone. I don't think I can live without you anymore," I said softly as I pulled away. She didn't resist either action.

There were so many emotions on her face and in her eyes. There was a little bit of confusion mixed in with amazement, among the myriad of emotion in her eyes. Then, suddenly, she moved forward, pulling my face close to hers. A rush of adrenaline surged through my body as a jolt of unreasonable fear hit my heart. I relaxed, though, when she kissed me. I pulled her close, deepening the kiss.

Her arms were around my neck and mine around her waist within seconds. Slowly, she shifted her weight and was pushing me back. I chuckled without breaking the kiss. In a smooth motion, I shifted our positions, so that I was on top of her, instead of the other way around. She squeaked when I did that, not expecting it.

Within a few seconds of that, there was a knock on my door. We broke apart, and I glared at the door before getting up. Beka shifted to her feet as I went over and opened it. Lorena stood there. She glanced between me and Beka, taking note of our slightly disarrayed clothing. I raised my eyebrows at her, questioning her without a word. She gave me a slightly sheepish look, obviously knowing that she had interrupted something.

"Yes, Lorena?" I asked, since she didn't speak up.

"Your friends downstairs told me that you and Cooper were up here talking. I wanted to talk to her in private, if you don't mind." I glanced over my shoulder.

"Beka? Do you want to talk to her?" I asked. Beka bit her lip, watching Lorena for a moment before nodding.

"I'll talk to her," she said.

"Do you mind, Rosto?" Lorena asked as she moved over to the side of the doorway. I frowned at her, confused. Was she trying to kick me out of my own room? I rolled my eyes and walked away, heading down the stairs again. Kicked out of my own room. That's just absolutely ridiculous. But, that's also Lorena.

I picked up a piece of the paper I keep at my throne to write things down on if I need to in the middle of Court, and an inkwell and quill. I seated myself at one of the tables and started writing the letter to Angelina that I hadn't had time to write yesterday. I was about halfway through it when Lorena came back down the stairs. Her expression gave nothing away. She glanced at me briefly before joining me at the table. She glanced at the letter I was writing, but only for a moment.

"You two really love each other, don't you?" She asked. I nodded, feeling the edges of my lips quirk slightly.

"Very much, Lorena. I love Beka more than anything else in the world. But you have to swear that you'll never tell anyone about this, about us, unless either Beka or I say it's all right. No one would understand, and we could never be together if the world knew. Please, promise me, Lorena, that you won't tell anyone about us?" I asked pleadingly. All I could hope was that she said yes. If she refused, well, that would be the end of the secret relationship that Beka and I have. It would be forced out into the open, and our world would be turned upside down. I don't even know what would happen if that did happen. I don't want to know. I watched her face for a moment, searching for any hints in her face, unable to find anything. Then she gave me a half-smile and a knowing look.

"I promise, Rikkisram. Your secret is safe with me. I won't tell anyone," she said. Her smile did not reach her lake-blue eyes. "I'm glad that you found someone, Rosto," she said, this time, making the smile genuine. "I'll be leaving in the morning. I need to get back home. I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused. That will teach me never to take you for what you seem to be again," she added with a soft chuckle. Then she rose and strode off to her room without looking back at me. When she was at the doorway, I remembered something.

"Lorena." She turned to look back at me. "Will you take something back with you for me? A gift for Angelina?" I asked. She nodded.

"Of course."

"Thank you," I said, offering her a smile. "I'll give it to you before you leave tomorrow."

Then, I picked up the ink and quill, putting them back, and took the partially finished letter back upstairs with me. Beka was still in my room, sitting by the window and looking out at the courtyard behind the Dove.

I put the paper down and made sure that I closed the door behind me again. I walked over to the window where Beka was and stood there, looking out with her. I turned slightly to watch her, to admire her. She turned her eyes from the City and met mine. A small smile appeared on her face. I moved closer and knelt down next to her, returning her smile. I reached out and softly brushed a few stray strands of her dark blond hair from her face, my gaze never leaving her face.

"We are safe, Beka, for the moment. Lorena won't tell anyone. She promised me. I don't think she will break this promise," I told her softly. I pulled her close without any resistance. She shifted in my arms, turning to face me.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again, Rosto," she said, the softness in her eyes all but disappearing. The look she gave me wasn't Guardswoman Cooper, it was all Beka. All annoyed Beka.

"I'm not invincible, love. But I promise," I paused there, making sure that she knew that I was being completely serious. "I won't leave you by any choice of my own. As long as I live, I will be here when you need me, Beka, right by your side. The only thing that will stop me is death. Death is the only thing that can or will keep us apart as long as you wish for us to be together. I swear it," I said solemnly, pulling back just a little to trace the sign against evil over my heart.

The ice disappeared from her eyes and she gave me a grateful look. "Thank you, Rosto," she said softly, leaning against me again, with her head on my chest.

After Court

Brian is such a pain. Now he's stuck on the scene Lorena made with Risaph last night. First it was that I was exhausted, so he teased me about Beka, and now he's entirely decided that Risaph is mine and that I must be teased. I'm going to have to teach him a lesson, and it has to be better than getting dumped in the rover again.

Basically, everything went smoothly, though there was a great deal of gossiping and glances shot my way. This is the only thing I hate about my Court sometimes. Everything I do gets talked about, and they never let me forget it.

Something has to change here. They aren't respectful of me at all anymore. Deerborn never had this problem. Not like this anyway – his problem was that his laziness and lack of willingness to get off his bum and to something caused everyone around him to become disloyal. I suppose I can partially blame Turpan for all of these problems. He was the one spreading them after all. Now that he's gone, maybe I can get my Court back under control sometime soon.

Where was I? Oh yes, Brian being annoying. After Beka had gone off to baton practice, I made my way downstairs. I had let her choose my shirt again tonight, since I seem to have better luck when she does. Tonight, she had chosen a bronze that I had bought recently and hadn't yet worn to Court.

I seated myself at my throne, signaling for Corcoran to open the door. People filtered in as usual, shooting glances at me as they did. Everything proceeded as normal until things were almost over. It was almost time for the changing of the Watch for the Dogs, and I was tired. At the time, I was pondering heading upstairs early, to get ready for bed.

That was when Bold Brian swaggered up to my throne, looking pleased with himself. Far too pleased for comfort.

"Just walk away, Brian," I said. "You don't want to do that tonight." His expression dimmed just a little, but he ignored the comment for the most part.

"So, your majesty, how's your lady love taking your illicit love child? You know, the one from the other day? The Lady Dove?" I wanted to hurt him for saying that, because the room went mostly silent and the room turned to stare at me and Brian. I shot him a glare out of the corner of my eye and got up, making sure he knew that he was to follow me. I led him to the back courtyard.

"Brian. I need to have a private discussion with you, if you'll follow me," I told him, getting up from my seat and moving toward the kitchen. "What, not coming?" I said, when I didn't hear his footsteps behind me.

"You ain't gonna throw me in the river again? It's bloody cold outside," he whimpered, shuffling from foot to foot.

"No, Brian. I will not be throwing you in the river. Please step this way." I could see he still didn't believe me. "On my word, and in front of all these witnesses, I swear I will not throw you in the river. Better?" He nodded and followed me through the kitchen and out the back door.

Once there, and making sure that the door to the inn was closed behind him, I turned to glare at him. Fast as lightning, I whipped out the dagger that I keep at the small of my back and shoved Brian into the nearest wall, keeping the point close to the vein and the blade across his throat. He swallowed very carefully, cutting back a whimper. I gave him a dangerous chuckle.

"Brian," I said quietly, "Do you know why I'm doing this? Why I've got a dagger to your throat?" I asked him, wondering if he'd shake his head. He didn't but his eyes showed the fear. "I don't want to do this Brian. I like you. You're a jovial man, and a good ally. Strong and fair in a fight. But my people need to be smart. When you blabber, and make comments like that, you cut me down in front of my Court. It makes me look stupid and I'm not stupid, nor should you be. Does that make sense?" He nodded, almost imperceptibly. "Good, see I knew you was smart. Here's what I want you to do," I leaned the blade ever so gently against the bob in his throat, and I felt him tense and his eyes close. "I want you to stop it. You need to keep your comments to yourself in front of the Court of the Rogue, understand? And to answer your question, the lad isn't mine, and Lady Dove is taking it as well as can be. Leave her out of it, Brian. She doesn't need coves like you trying to force her into the Court. And I swear, if you do not listen to me this time, you will regret it. I won't be as forgiving as I have been in the past. I will hurt you. You don't want to be a street-beggar this time of the year, do you?" I made sure that my voice and expression were calm the whole time. If I got mad, that would only prove his point and dig the hole deeper. He shook his head, telling me that in no uncertain terms did he want to be a mumper. "You'll be good?" I took the blade back a notch.

He nodded.

"Say it." I commanded him, steel in my voice, the edge icy.

"I'll behave, your majesty. I dinna want to be a mumper. I like working for you, and I'd hate to lose my job acos of sommat stupid. I just dinna think that sort of teasing was that bad, tha's all. I'm sorry, sir." He said it all very quietly.

"Only those closest to me are allowed to tease in that way. You know me, but we're not that close friends." I told him, letting him go. He exhaled, rubbing his neck to make sure it was all in one piece.

"Are you that close with the Terrier?" he asked, still rubbing his neck.

"The Terrier and I are equals, or as much equals as is possible to be. She is a skilled Rat-catcher and I'm a skilled Rat. Between myself and the Terrier, the language is a game of wit. With you, it is insolence. Does that make sense?" I told him, choosing my words carefully.

"Yes, sir." He mumbled, looking down at the ground. "I'm sorry, sir."

"Good. You may go inside now, Brian. It's cold," I told him, and he scampered in through the kitchen door. He'll tell people what happened. Not the knife bit, but what he learned from me and about me.

I went back to my throne, leaning on the armrest and took care of the rest of my business before coming upstairs. I did see Beka come in right before I headed up. And if I'm not mistaken, I think I can hear her footsteps coming down the stairs.