A/N: Woo, another chapter already!!! To make up for 2 and 3 both being fairly short. :) Wasn't intending on writing this yet tonight...but it wanted to be written. Song for this one is The Real Me by Natalie Grant. You should go listen to it while reading this. DO IT. YOUTUBE WAS INVENTED FOR A REASON. And it explains Mello's point of view better. :)
Chapter 3
Matt woke up to the smell of cinnamon rolls wafting through the apartment. He smiled, remembering last night, and tightened his arms around the boy laying next to him. Mello looked up, a smile on his face, his hair golden in the sun coming through the blinds. "I made cinnamon rolls". Matt's smile broadened; he kissed Mello on the nose. "Come on, they'll get cold" Mello wheedled, trying to drag Matt out of bed, a plan that backfired miserably when Matt gave a yank on Mello's arm, pulling him back down to the bed and rolling over half on top of him. "God invented microwaves for a reason". Mello wasn't sure that God invented microwaves so he could stay in bed kissing and cuddling Matt longer, but he wasn't one to question divine intervention.
Mello let out a happy sigh as Matt ran his lips up Mello's jaw, slipping into a whine as the redhead nipped his ear. He felt Matt tugging at the zipper to his top; they'd fallen asleep in their clothes from last night, and he allowed his friend to remove the offending article, casting it in a pile on the floor. Mello moaned a little and arched as Matt's palm pressed into the small of his back, pushing Mello's chest securely to his own. He ran his tongue over Matt's lips, teasing the other man. Matt's eyes gleamed, and he captured Mello's mouth with his own, devouring the sensation it provoked.
Just as things were really starting to get heated, Mello's stomach let out a growl so ferocious it was enough to stop Matt in his tracks, which was impressive indeed. Laughing, Matt scooped Mello into his arms, ignoring the blonde's protests, and carried him into their sorry excuse for a kitchen, setting him down on the counter and turning to put some of the cinnamon rolls in the microwave. As the delicious treats spun around and got toasty, Matt turned to Mello with a serious expression on his face.
"So, we should probably talk about this. What is it exactly we're doing here?" Mello felt the blood run out of his face. No, he was not ready for this…he couldn't tell Matt…not yet. "What do you think?" He said, evading the question. "Mello, please…I need to know what's happening with us. Hey, don't do that!" Matt tried to catch Mello's wrist as he darted from the kitchen, but Mello was too fast. Catching up with him in the bedroom, Matt was starting to get scared. "Okay, if you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to. We can just go back to how we were if that's what you want..but, damn it Mello, I'm trying to talk to you!! I care about you. A lot." But Mello fixed him with a look that Matt couldn't read, grabbed the bag he'd been shoving clothes in and the keys to his motorcycle off the nightstand, leaving the bedroom and moving towards the front door.
Matt caught him this time, forcing him to turn around and look him in the face. "Mel, please, please don't leave me. I can't do that again, Mel. I didn't mean to rush you, I just…" And this time Mello gives him a look that Matt does understand, and his heart sinks. "No, no no no, don't, please, Mello, please, it'll kill me, you know it will, DON'T LEAVE, MELLO PLEASE" Matt was aware that he was begging, that he was clinging to Mello with all of his strength, tears streaming down his face, and he didn't even care. "Please Mello, I love you". Matt sees Mello's eyes soften, just a little, before Mello hits him over the head hard enough to knock him out, and walks out the door.
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Mello felt the tears welling up as he walked away from the apartment, away from the man he loved. It was true, he did love Matt, more than anything in the world. And that scared him senseless. Mello had the desperate need to be in control of every situation, and love is not about control, it's about compromise, about trusting someone else with your heart, with everything you have. And so he ran. He wasn't proud of it, but there it was.
He supposed he'd go back to the mafia; there was really nowhere else to go. And damn it all, on top of everything else, he'd forgotten to bring any chocolate. Desperate, he pulled out his cell and punched in some numbers. "Hello, Lena? Yeah, this is Mello. Could I hire you again to buy some chocolate milk? Yeah, 10 gallons should be good. Oh, and it's going to be delivered to a different address this time. Yeah, that's right."
Mello tried to be strong, but after he hung up the phone, he darted into a gas station bathroom, locking the stall door behind him, and gave into his fear and grief, cursing himself for being afraid and weak and for hurting the only person he's ever really cared about. He leans his head against the filthy wall and wonders if his tears will be enough to wash it clean.
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Matt lay on the cool kitchen floor in the fetal position, tears running unheeded down the side of his face and pooling in his ear. His mind had decided that the despair was too much; his thoughts had all abandoned him, leaving him an empty shell, cast aside. He knew that Mello was scared of getting close to people, but he'd thought since it had been Mello who initiated the contact this time that it was okay…evidently not. Pain seared through him, emotions made physical. Every part of him ached. Maybe if he just stayed here, he'd starve in a few days. Then he wouldn't have to think about how Mello left him, again. He wouldn't have to try and pick up the pieces of his life and move on, a sad imitation of what he used to be.
He didn't know how many hours it had been when he finally sat up on the tiles, hands splayed as if contact with the floor would somehow lend him extra strength. It was decision making time. Either he could stay where he was, try and forget Mello, and move on, or he could track the bastard down and make him love him. Matt took a deep, shaky breath. He'd always been particularly bad at giving up things he liked. And Mello was more than a like. He was an addiction.
Decision made, Matt hauled himself off the floor and over to his computer. There were some people he'd done hacking jobs for who owed him a favor. He would find Mello. And damn it all if he wouldn't grab the traitor by his shoulders and kiss him until he apologized and promised to never run out ever again.
A/N: Aggghhhh, Mello, why'd you leeeeeaaaaave?!?!?! Poor Matt, I feel so bad for him. :( I realize that Mello had a change of heart REAL fast there, but I feel like that's his personality. He's very volatile, and if something sets him off, like Matt asking where they stand relationship wise, he can just snap. And he's very insecure, which is why he puts on the show of bravado. At least, that's one interpretation I have. The other is that he's just BA, but we're going with the first one for this story. :) Please review! Please?