H A L L U C I N A T I O N
A Twilight FanFiction
By Musings of a Shaken Mind

Chapter 3

She was in the meadow.

Well, this was a new development. I hadn't expected her to be here. I realised now what all of the extended treks into the forest were for. She was trying to find our meadow. My heart twisted in agony… I should have been there with her. It was our meadow, and this could only hurt her more.

Heaven knows, it was hurting me to even see her there, so alone. Without company. Even Jacob Black being there might have been better than her being alone. Okay, so… maybe not. I wasn't that fond of the dog.

And then, I heard his thoughts. I saw his red eyes; I felt the burn of Bella's scent in his mind. Not half as powerful as when I felt it, mind, but it was still there. He was approaching, and fast. Hunting. I could only pray that he'd snap out of the blood lust before he reached her. But then, he seemed to pause, if only for a millisecond… he took inventory of her scent, and then he stopped dead.

He recognised her.

I could hear the glee in his thoughts as he remembered his first encounter with her. But it was marred by something else… fear?

Perhaps he thought that we would be there with her.

How wrong he was.

No, she was entirely alone. The thought still hurt me, even as I desperately tried to convince myself that this was, in fact, a product of my imagination, and not the real Bella. The real Bella would never be stupid enough to pull any of the crazy stunts she'd been pulling in the last few weeks. The real Bella had common sense, unlike her foolhardy, adrenaline-junkie counterpart. Laurent stepped into the meadow, his extreme vision finding her crumpled form in a fraction of a second. He watched as she stood up slowly, studied her face as her expression flickered across an array of emotions. He found that fascinating about humans, the way they so obviously displayed what they were feeling.

I felt a crippling urge to rip the vampire's throat out.

"Laurent!"

Why did she sound so eager? Had she not noticed his crimson eyes, focussed on her, hazy with the madness that overcomes us when we hunt? Could she not see the danger?

"Bella?"

He was astonished, and I chuckled aloud at that. It wasn't like my real Bella was in any danger… I just had to keep reminding myself of that fact.

"You remember."

She sounded so relieved. Maybe it was because she finally had confirmation that she hadn't made the whole relationship up, that Vampires really did exist. Maybe it was just that one of our kind had actually deemed to appear to her.

My heart broke for her. Again.

His lips curled back over his teeth, in what might have been perceived as a smile. But I knew better. It was a hunting snarl; he would kill her.

"I didn't expect to see you here," he sounded a little bemused, wondering where we were. The Cullens. We'd been so adamant on protecting her last time, why were we not here, this time?

Bella, being Bella, stayed entirely calm. Only she could keep her head, when faced with a ruthless killing machine such as Laurent. "Isn't it the other way around? I do live here. I thought you'd gone to Alaska."

He moved forward, and my snarl became audible. Honestly, it was lucky that I was completely alone, in the Australian outback. These visions seemed to have extraordinarily appropriate timing. Convenient? Of course. My mind was throwing these up to torture me, but it was not so stupid as to show them to me in a public place.

"You're right. I did go to Alaska. Still, I didn't expect… When I found the Cullen place empty, I thought they'd moved on."

"Oh."

Laurent noticed the pain in her voice, and I did too. It shook my resolve to the core, that simple word. She spoke again, clearly trying to compose herself, to contain the hysteria brought on by our very name.

"They did move on."

"Hmm… I'm surprised they left you behind. Weren't you a sort of pet of theirs?"

"Something like that."

I wanted to shout, to deny it. She had never been a pet. But this faulty connection between us was flickering, and my voice did not reach her at all. I was torn. I wanted to tell her to run, to hide, but... what good would that do? It would only enrage Laurent further. And he would kill her.

"Hmm," he intoned. I could read his thoughts, and I didn't like the way they were going.

And then, finally, she noticed his red eyes. How could she not have seen them before? They were a warning sign to humans. Stay away. Stay away, Bella.

"Do they visit often?" he asked. What he really meant, was, Are they close enough to stop me from killing you?

I growled louder now, the rumble in my chest building. If this were real, I'd have killed Laurent by now. But it wasn't real. It couldn't be real.

"Lie, Bella. Lie to him. Tell him we come here all the time, tell him we live in Seattle. You've come here for a visit. Edward's not far away. Lie."

Only one word slipped through, but she caught it. My hallucinatory Bella started at the sound, and then tried to compose herself. Laurent did not miss that.

"Now and again. The time seems longer to me, I imagine. You know how they get distracted…"

Laurent wasn't buying it; I could read that in his mind. He watched her with increasing incredulity. "Hmm… the house smelled like it had been empty for a while."

If only he knew. Why, oh why had we ever left?

"He's not buying it. You must lie better than that, Bella."

Again, only half of my words slipped through. I wondered why that was, and why I had no control over what went and what did not.

"I'll have to mention to Carlisle that you stopped by. He'll be sorry he missed your visit. But I probably shouldn't mention it to… Edward, I suppose, he has such a temper… well, I'm sure you remember. He's still touchy about the whole James thing."

Why had I fallen in love with a bad actress? The pain of saying my name did not help, of course. Her suffering was tangible in the air. I wanted to run to her, to encase her in my arms, but I found that I was frozen. I could not move, not even to save her life.

"Is he really?" Laurent was just being polite now, working out how best to kill her. He'd guessed that we'd abandoned her. He knew, now, that she was fair game.

"Mm-hmm." We both heard the hysteria in her voice, despite the mumbled answer. Laurent bit back a victorious smile.

Bella tried again to distract him. "So how are things working out in Denali? Carlisle said you were staying with Tanya?"

Her attempt was futile. Laurent would not be swayed now, not unless one of my family actually appeared beside them. And all of us knew that that was not going to happen any time soon.

"I like Tanya very much, and her sister Irina even more… I've never stayed in one place for so long before, and I enjoy the advantages, the novelty of it. But, the restrictions are difficult… I'm surprised that any of them can keep it up for so long."

He was just humouring her now, and bringing the conversation back around to the topic he wanted to discuss in one fell swoop. He knew how to play his cards. He winked at her secretively, "Sometimes I cheat."

"Oh… Jasper has problems with that, too."

She tried, unsuccessfully, to move away, and he caught the movement. He grew tired of her now, I could see that.

"Don't move, Bella. Please don't move. He'll kill you." But again, only two words reached her. I snarled in frustration, in helpless frustration. This was wrong; I was becoming far too involved with these hallucinations. But I could not remove myself from the vision, hard as I tried.

"Really? Is that why they left?"

"No. Jasper is more careful at home."

Honesty was better; at least, it sounded more convincing.

"Yes," Laurent told her, "I am, too."

He stepped forward again, and I snarled, low in my chest, struggling against the invisible bonds that seemed to hold me in place.

"Did Victoria ever find you?" Bella had given up on all pretenses now, preferring to stick to some vestige of the truth.

"Yes. I actually came here as a favour to her. She won't be happy about this."

"About what?" Bella seemed curious. Of course. Or maybe, she was just trying to distract him further.

I already knew his answer, of course. It made the snarl inside me louder, far more frantic. Turned it into a feral growl.

"About me killing you."

She took an unconscious step back at his words. She could hear me, now, I was sure of it. She could hear my anger.

"She wanted to save that part for herself. She's sort of… put out with you, Bella."

"Me?"

"I know, it seems a little backward to me, too. But James was her mate, and your Edward killed him."

No… no, I could not have caused this… surely this was not to be my fault, too… But, of course. How had I not seen this coming? It was I who had introduced her to the world of monsters, in the first place. How could I not be to blame for this? I felt myself sinking further into depression.

"She thought it more appropriate to kill you than Edward—fair turnabout, mate for mate. She asked me to get the lay of the land for her, so to speak. I didn't imagine you would be so easy to get to. So maybe her plan was flawed—apparently it wouldn't be the revenge she imagined, since you must not mean very much to him if he left you here unprotected."

Each of his words was a blow to my immortal body. I had put her in this position. I had compromised her safety, again.

But was this even real? I had no way of knowing. Not while I was stuck here, in this desert, as far as possible from the rain of Forks, WA.

Bella didn't speak, so Laurent continued, unperturbed, "I suppose she'll be angry, all the same."

"Then why not wait for her?" Bella managed. She was terrified, and Laurent knew that. He smiled mischievously.

"Well, you've caught me at a bad time, Bella. I didn't come to this place on Victoria's mission—I was hunting. I'm quite thirsty, and you do smell…simply mouth-watering."

"Threaten him, love. Lie." I must have sounded so pained, so full of dread. If he killed her, even this imaginary Bella, it would kill me, too.

"He'll know it was you. You won't get away with this."

He smirked again, disbelieving, "And why not? The scent will wash away with the next rain. No-one will find your body—you'll simply go missing, like so many, many other humans. There's no reason for Edward to think of me, if he cares enough to investigate. This is nothing personal; let me assure you, Bella. Just thirst."

If that was supposed to reassure wither of us, it did not work. And if I received the news from Alice that Bella was—I could barely even contemplate the idea—dead, then I would know exactly who to blame. He would never get away with this.

"Beg him, love. Anything. Anything that works."

"Please…"

She was so obedient, even after all this time. Maybe she knew that I had her best interests at heart.

"Look at it this way, Bella. You're very lucky I was the one to find you."

I was intrigued, and even Bella was confused. "Am I?"

"Yes. I'll be very quick. You won't feel a thing, I promise. Oh, I'll lie to Victoria about that later, naturally, just to placate her. But if you knew what she had planned for you, Bella…" I caught a preview, in his thoughts. It infuriated me. "…I swear, you'd be thanking me for this."

She looked horrified, like a deer caught in headlights.

"Mouth-watering…" he whispered again, inhaling her sweet scent.

I roared, furious at the word. Laurent would be killed for this… I would destroy him. Him and Victoria…"

Edward, Edward, Edward. Edward, I love you.

I heard her thoughts, for the first time ever. If I were human, they would have killed me. As it were, they crippled me severely, forcing me to my knees. Oh, Bella… Bella, Bella… I love you too… I will always love you…

And then, the scene was gone. Just like that. I was able to move again and, no matter how I tried, I could not re-immerse myself in the hallucination. I was truly masochistic, as I had once said.

And now? Now, she was dead. In my imagination, anyway. I collapsed further, my head hitting the ground as I sobbed brokenly.

She was gone. And so was the vision.