Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill, even if I wish I did.

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The day had come. Today was the day he would bury his wife, the woman he had loved more than anything in the world. He wasn't sure how he was going to do it, but he knew he had to. He just kept telling himself that soon it would be over.

He was in auto-pilot, as he had been for the past couple of days. Drinking, non-stop. He felt nothing. Alcohol had neutralized his pain. It was still there, though. He could feel the slightest slimmer of it sometimes. When he was laying on his bed, pretending to go to sleep, the pain would creep up on him, catching him off guard. He didn't sleep anymore. The empty bed made that possible. He couldn't stand that life, the world, could go on without Peyton. All he could do was drink. Everything else just seemed pointless to him.

Haley had stayed a couple of times, taking care of Anna for him. He was in no shape to feed her or rock her to sleep. Not that he wanted to. He couldn't even look at his own daughter. Just the thought of her made him grimace, and want to take a shot of whiskey. But he wasn't going to do that today. Today he would be sober, for Peyton. So she could have the funeral she deserved. Haley had made the funeral plans, knowing Lucas wasn't in any shape to do much of anything.

There was a knock at his door. Turning, he saw Nathan standing in his doorway. "Hey, man." Nathan said. He wasn't sure what to say. There were so many things he could say, but none of them sounded right. "It's…uh time to go."

Lucas nodded, looking in the mirror one last time before following his brother out the door.

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Brooke took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. The slight breeze blew her hair to the side and made her shiver. The sky was a bright shade of blue with big white fluffy clouds here and there. For a moment, she felt as if the world was mocking her. Today should've been dark and rainy, just as Brooke felt on the inside. Sighing, she took a step forward. Quickly she spotted Nathan and Haley, each holding a child-Nathan with Jamie and Haley with Anna. Anna-Peyton's daughter. Brooke hadn't seen her since the hospital. She wondered how Lucas was, though she suspected she knew the answer if Haley was holding the baby.

Brooke stood next to Nathan and Haley, Lucas on the other side of them. Karen, Andy and Lily stood behind them along with Deb, Skills, Mouth, Millicent, and Julian. The priest started, but Brooke wasn't listening. All she could was stare at the wooden box holding the body of her best friend.

Her best friend. Taking a deep breath, she tried not to cry at the thought. It took everything she had to compose herself. She couldn't, though, and soon she was sobbing uncontrollably. God, how could this happen? She thought to herself, wiping her eyes. Peyton was so alive, so…Peyton. Peyton wasn't supposed to die. She was sick, sure, but she was supposed to make it out this. She promised. Shaking, Brooke tried again to compose herself as Lucas took a handful of ashes, dropping it into the hole in the ground. And again, she tried when she dropped her own handful of ashes in the hole. It was useless, though and when Julian wrapped his arms around her, she was already gone.

--

Lucas took the glass in his hands and downed the hard liquor in two seconds. The funeral had been done for awhile now. Haley was at his house, taking care of Anna. This had become their routine. Haley would watch Anna and Lucas would go out and drink. He had expected Haley to have said something to him, to try and make him a better person, for Anna at least. But, she hadn't and he was ever so grateful. He didn't want to hear it from her. He didn't want to hear it from anyone. Frankly, he just didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered without Peyton. It was like the world had lost its color, lost everything that made it filled with sunshine.

Taking another rather large sip of his drink, Lucas thought about what would come next. He wondered if it was too late to give Anna up for adoption. He couldn't take care of her, nor did he want to. He didn't want to be a father anymore now that Peyton was gone. There was no reason to. Sighing, he knew he couldn't do it. Haley would kill him, as Brooke would too. Although, he hadn't talked to Brooke since the hospital. Ah, the hospital. The memories fresh in his mind popped up.

God, he hated that robin-egg-blue colored door. People went in; people went out, nobody telling him a damn thing. He hated this whole damn hospital. Groaning, he stood up from the chair he was sitting, his hands on his hips and started pacing. Back and forth, he walked, waiting, always waiting. Looking at his watch, he realized it had only been five minutes. He had already called Haley who in turn had called everyone else, he assumed. When they took Peyton back they gave him the offer of watching in the room above with the window, the same room he had watched his sister being taken from his mothers body six years ago. He refused, though, not wanting to watch his wife be cut open. Now, it seemed, he regretted the decision. He just wanted to know what was going on, what was going to happen.

No, he knew what would happen. Peyton was going to make it. She had to; she had made him a promise. He couldn't raise their child on their own. He couldn't even remember the names they had picked out. But most importantly, he couldn't live without Peyton, child or no child.

"Lucas?!"

He turned, seeing Brooke running down the hallway to him. Opening his arms, he let her crash into him. She crying, tears running down her face like marathon racers. He relaxed, letting himself be comforted, knowing they both needed somebody.

Pulling away, she looked him dead in the eyes. "What happened? She was fine when I left!"

"I…"

"Lucas!" She screamed, more tears falling. "What the hell happened?!"

"I don't know." He said simply. And that was the truth, he didn't know. He didn't know a damned thing. The words just lie there in between them, like an ocean. She cried some more, and they hugged again, sitting next to each other both staring at the wall. Haley and Nathan showed up a couple of minutes later and another round of hugs and comforting words went around. Again, everyone just sat there, waiting and waiting.

Lucas put his elbows on his knees, holding his head up as tears finally fell from his eyes. How could he be so stupid? He knew Peyton needed her rest. He knew the wedding would be tough on her; he knew they shouldn't have gone through with it, they should've waited. He cursed himself for not waiting. He cursed Peyton for wanting to go through with it.

An hour later, Dr. Upschulte opened the robin-egg-blue door. Lucas stood up immediately, frantically trying to translate the look on his face, and when the doctor stood right in front of him, Lucas knew everything: Peyton hadn't made it.

"Lucas?" A voice said behind him, pulling him out of his memories. "Lucas Scott?"

"What?" He said, not amused. Turning around, he hadn't expected to see the man before. He blinked, trying to figure out if this was him or not. "Jake? Jake Jagielski?"

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Hi! Okay, end of chapter three. I'm working on more. I would love, love, love some reviews though! That would be amazing! Even if you hate it, tell me!

Thanks!