School had ended, and yet I am sad to tell you, I would still struggle to update sooner. Because I have put myself in Summer School. why? Not because I failed a class, it's because I am absolutely bored out of my mind so I found myself possesed. I also joined Marching Band, though it's starting out later than usual, it seems our marching band had created a big target when we almost defeated every band in our states besides two.

I am in love with Enya, I cannot help but love everysong she sings even though most of the times I clearly can't understand what she sings but it calls to my heart and my heart responds to it.

I sugges you listen to "Amaranthine" I believe that's the title...O.o;

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The Goddess of the Wind couldn't bear being with him any longer. He was too much. She could feel him almost like he was crawling on her skin. She was desperate to wash herself after he was done touching her. She remained stiff and he noticed.

"You have nothing to fear I will not hurt you," He said his voice sounding so smooth like the calm waters Temari hadn't seen at all. It was like that. He touched her face and Temari forced herself not to pull away. If she showed any sign of not liking him, who knows what the bastard will do.

She would not anger him. Angering him would lead to...almost apocalypse.

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Shikamaru was once again in the Goddess very own 'room-house' whatever the term was. It still wouldn't look homey. Everything was white. Why was it so white?

In front of him the guy he'd seen with the pale blue hair appeared, well transparent like a ghost.

"Hey," He said. He crossed his legs and he was floating, yeah, he was definitely a ghost.

"I thought you don't die." Shikamaru blurted out. "You must be dead now. Did you tell your wife?"

Xypher smiled and shrugged, "It's better not to interact with her. I would crave her touch too much that I will find myself in pain and she will also be in pain. If only I am the one suffering."

"A cursed Angel fallen in love," Shikamaru mummbled,"You're an Angel..."

"Yeah, and so what? Just because I am an angel...I could also love a Goddess, I do love my wife."

"Did your kind accept it?" Shikamaru just wanted to know. There was a voice in his head that was telling him to ask about some things.

"Hell No, believe me...I fought all of them to be with her. It was not right. It was all wrong. The pain they dealt me. The many obstacles they threw at my path. It was hell going against my kind and hers and the demons down below. Who knew demons felt highly strong about keeping the old ways, no mixing at all. But I would do it all over again, and again, call me stupid but damn, I just love my wife too much. She is my star, my heaven, my life, my-" Xypher stopped and coughed, "Well you should stop me when I go on...it's not good."

"No, it was interesting. So you all have a strict policy of no going with other beings? Since you didn't follow that number one rule...exactly how much pain did you go through?"

"I have the dream gods come at me in dreams and kill me there everytime I sleep. I can barely get a good night sleep at all. Oh, and those blood demons!" Xypher glared downwards. "How I despise them, they are just disgusting. They kill people right in front of me in such gruesome matter, it's a good thing she saved you from that life."

"She saved me from what life?"

"Nothing, never you mind. Stop asking me questions about my life-it's cruel."

Shikamaru and Xypher sighed in unison.

"Are we the same?" Shikamaru asked. "From those memories, the Goddess loved the young man. He must have been punished. I mean, he died...and then...so confusing." Shikamaru closed his eyes, there was a heavy pounding inside his head and he felt the ground shaking hard. Was it shaking? Or is it just him?

He knew he was falling backwards but he didn't. The smell of the ocean filled into his nose, ah, that was soothing the pounding. It felt like he was submerged under water smoothing the horrible noises in his head. People talking and yelling and cries. He was lost and he found it hard to open his eyes.

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Temari burst into her place in a hurry. She wanted to go to waterfall she usually goes to bathe. She could have easily went there first and taken care of the smell lingering around her but somehow she just came back here.

She blinked as she saw a transparent Xypher looking out the window. A transparent Xypher.

"He's asleep," Xypher spoke softly. "You gonna pay me for babysiting hours?" He turned and smiled at Temari.

"I didn't ask you to watch over him." Temari said. "And why would he need to be watch?"

Xypher raised his hands up as if to say he doesn't want to argue.

"How was Astrid?"

Temari shook her head. She rather not say how Astrid was. Her dear friend was almost dead because she barely moved and said anything. She was in a lost state. When Temari had visited to check on her, Astrid was not crying. But then Temari figured she wasn't crying because she shed too many tears. She had asked who cleaned Xypher's body and one of the serving maids had said it was Astrid herself that took care of his body. Temari had almost turned pale from the sight of Xypher's body laying on the bed looking pale as hell especially against the white clothing he wore, while Astrid, she wore the darkest dead color ever, A black dress.

"She loves you," Temari started, "She aches in million of ways I cannot imagine."

And then her heart started to ache, as if saying she doesn't know how it feels triggered the feeling to come real. She rested a hand on her chest, it hurts. Why does it hurts?

"You do not need to imagine it, you had already felt it before." Xypher looked at Shikamaru and then Temari quickly appeared next to Shikamaru. "Whoa, you don't waste time do you."

She checked his vital signs and they were all good. He was breathing. So why was Xypher carrying one of those death looks? She frowned. She knew Xypher long enough to know the Dark Angel was dark for a reason.

"You look at him as if you know what's about to happen." Temari said.

"Hell if I haven't lost my sight thousand years ago, I would say hell yeah I know. But no, I don't."

Temari sighed, "Will you stay by his side? I need to go...

Temari felt something on her shoulder, it was weak, Xypher was not going to make it...

"Hey, I'ma watch over him. No worries. Still sayin you owe me big for it."

"I.." She was lost for words. Temari had never liked Xypher, but admired him so because he was strong and tried hard to be with Astrid. How long was their struggle? She had been asleep, put away and reawakened to a whole new nightmare. But Astrid and Xypher have been awake, and facing their fears everyday and forever.

"Look, You go take yourself and take the stench off of you. I'll watch over him." He grinned, his signature smile that means he was about to add another, "Trust an almost dead cursed angel to watch over someone you love…mhmm…"

"I don't love him."

"Of course not,"

And there was nothing left to say.

XxXxXxXxX

Temari was still in her water fountain after…she wasn't sure how many hours. Only a little scent lingers now. She cursed remembering she had touched Shikamaru…which she shouldn't have because it meant she had left the bastard's scent on him. Damn it all, she so despise the thought of Shikamaru having another scent. Anyone's scent on him…

She closed her eyes and released a breath; she knew Xypher wouldn't dare enter this part of her haven. No one could ever enter this…unless…She wishes them to.

And then she heard it…A click and someone on the other side walking, and clothes being taken of slowly, and someone going into the water, on the other side of the fountain. She would kill Xypher later, she thought, if he wasn't dead yet when she returns into the room.

"You are the reason I still believe,

You are my destiny…"

That was indeed Shikamaru's voice, but to why he would utter such things and who he speaks of, Temari was not sure. Though it definitely had peak her interest.

"Are those a word of encouragement to me?"

Oh, he was with Xypher. Temari shook her head to stop the laughter that was bubbling inside her. It was bound to happen; fate had always loved to play with her. Of course they would make a guy she rarely tolerate become "buds" with someone she's trying to get rid of, at least…that's what she feels she's trying to do. But she's completely doing the opposite, wasn't she?

"Huh, I am not encouraging you to make a move on me." Shikamaru replied, his voice was relaxed and still sounded bored. "So why do I have to clean myself? I don't think I smell…Do I?"

Xypher's laughed.

"I do not know why fate is cruel to you, boy. But yes, if you must know you smell. A scent lingers around you and I am taking it as a duty to get rid of it. Temari might throw a fit if she comes in contact with you and you have…that scent…"

Temari felt rigid. How foolish it is she hadn't thought the scent could also bother Xypher. Of course it would, he was cursed by the same God. Sometimes a fallen loses control and angers operates them…and they become some horrendous killing machine, almost. She made a move to go to him immediately, but stopped herself because he was fine. Shikamaru was fine.

"What scent? Is that scent undesirable?"

"That scent will lead to penis laceration to be honest,"

"Scent of the God that cursed you and rules her body, does he have hold on her soul?"

"…How is it you know that? I never really thought you could be the man many years ago, that's impossible because…souls…travel elsewhere and does not remain to linger. They cannot be sent into another one's body unless a God had done so. But who would have such power to do that…"

"So you know I am not the man? I believe I am not the man thousand years ago, It's a coincidence I look like him, act like him…But I'm not him."

"You are defending strongly. It's almost as if you are convincing yourself you're not him at all. I did say it's impossible, but that's only to my knowledge, I know not a long of things…"

"I don't accept it. It doesn't follow my science. I refuse to believe in things that cannot have a rational explanation and a simple because it could happen and it has, won't suffice me. I need explanations."

"And this is why I do not like you, humans. You think things could always be explain. Some things cannot be explain and still exist."

"Uh huh…"

"Hurry up and get rid of the wretched scent, will you? I miss my love…"

"Visit her,"

"And cause her more pain?"

"I…hey…you're…disappearing!" Shikamaru said in a shocked voice.

Temari stood up and walked towards the waterfall went into it, and cross the barrier between, appearing behind the other side of the water fall. The sight was absolutely shocking…almost…having a queer feeling. Shikamaru was holding Xypher Bridal Style, and he seems to be asleep. Xypher was still wearing his clothing ealier while Shikamaru was fully naked, but Temari wasn't paralyzed from the sight of his nakedness even though…it's a spectacular sight. It was wings…black wings that was behind him…and around them, circling are the bluish, grayish feathers…from Xypher.

"What the…" Shikamaru started. His mouth slight opened his eyes wide with horror.

"Shikamaru," Temari said, and when his eyes met hers, they went in together.

Thousand Years Ago

"Amar" Temari whispered his voice in horror.

He was no longer himself. His eyes the eerie color of the blood that stains his naked body. He snapped toward her direction. He paused, and a smile creeped into his face. He reached out to her with his right hand while the other wears a claw. Temari did not back away but moved towards him. She was hurting inside, what happened. Why was he like this?

"Amar, do you remember me?"

"Goddess," He said, his black wings seems to become bigger the closer she gets to him, it's as if they were moving to envelop her into him. They were drawing her in but without difficulty because she couldn't turn away from him. Not now, not when he needs her.

"Temari, No!" Temari whirled around and saw her brothers, Gaara had lifted his hand and in movement the sand moves to form an enormous hand, moving fast and then she heard it smashed against Amar. She screamed.

She glared at Gaara and summoned the winds, creating a sand storm around them.

"You will not put yourself in danger!" Gaara shouted to her.

"Please do not harm him,"

"He had harmed the one he claim to wish to protect, he is one of them!" Gaara argued.

"But I care for him, he is not like this!"

"He cannot be controlled. None of them could ever know peace."

"Brother, please, I beg of you." For all it's worth, Temari sunk to her knees, tears flowing down her face. It would not mean much for others, But the one on her knees is the Goddess of the Wind. She is linked with the deadliest and one that creates life, to bring her to knees…

"I cannot allow you."


"Temari, stand up." Kankurou said, he was worried and also horrified.

"Please let him live,"

"If they ever find out what he is and what he means to you, you will make him suffer more than he would under our hands. Let us kill him now before he suffers more…" Gaara said.

"But…"

And then they looked up to see someone crashing down from the heavens above, lightning and thunder started…mixing in with the stand storm that had been created. So it was true, they have been all along watched.

"Decide now!" Gaara said,"Now!"

"No! No!"

And with the wings revealed an Angel was called forth, with eyes even the Gods fear. His long black hair and his eyes that say he was indifferent…so beautiful and so cruel at the same time.

"Move aside," The Angel said.

"We have it handled." Kankurou spat.

"He massacred those people of Suna, he created a great disturbance in the orders."

"We will do it ourselves." Gaara said, "Go back to heaven, Angel."

"You will learn to respect me, God of the Sand, you may be a God but I could force you to your knees in a second. I do not hesitate to kill anyone in my way."

Another loud thunder and lightning crashes, and came out…

"Xypher!" Temari hissed.

"Goddess, I am thrilled you are…alive…" He smiled. "Itachi, you are taking too long."

Xypher took a good look in the destruction of Suna, and frowned. He stared at the Sand fist, behind Temari and moved towards it, the sand quickly withdrew, revealing a man's face, so young, cocooned by the sand. He was not moving. Xypher drew out a sword and made a move to pierce the young man with it.

"Please, let him choose his own…not when he's not himself." Temari said.

"You will be punish for this." Itachi said. "A war may start…"

"Please, I beg of you…"

"A goddess begs a god. Now she begs an angel, a fallen cursed one." Xypher said. "Interesting. Falling in love with him is a death wish, Goddess. I warn you, you both will suffer for eternity."

"It is my choosing, please let him choose his own…"

Itachi made a move to the young man, pressed two fingers on his forehead and then turned, his rasengan started moving…and Temari couldn't help but shiver in fear of what's about to happen.

"The Goddess chose Amar…" Itachi said, not at all sounding surprise just…fascinated.

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"Shikamaru…"

Slowly Xypher fades, and with him the black wings were also fading, as Shikamaru sunk to his knees and tears started to flow down. His body shaking, he tried to wipe away the river flows but it wouldn't leave. He started to sob hard. Damn it all.

Temari went to him, her heart clenching tightly. She was struggling to breathe. She manifested a silk cloak and wrapped it around him, as she somehow molded him to her, almost like how a mother would soothe their child's fear away.

"I killed them…I destroyed…" Shikamaru tried to say a complete sentence but he couldn't truly finish it. It was horrible. The echoes of cries and eyes of pain, it was horrible. He wished them gone. The pounding begun and he wished it gone…

And he felt himself being lifted…he was…he opened his eyes enough to see that the Goddess Temari had moved so they would be both in the water, and she kept moving, her eyes were no longer stormy but…so…unmoving.

"Sleep, I will keep you safe." She said. Shikamaru closed his eyes and felt his body be wrapped by the water…he was falling…no…floating…right? The pounding and the other noises were fading smoothly like the waves washing them away.

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Temari was watching the ball of water circling around Shikamaru, he seemed relax and he hadn't awaken yet. She didn't want to wake him, someone in his state would only awaken if they wishes to face their fears. She frowned. She had begged back then to let him choose. What exactly had he chosen? And how had…he became an angel when he was a mere mortal? And what's worse he has black wings…black wings were never a good sign.

"Temari," Astrid voice came out of nowhere.

"Astrid…?" Temari was tired and her voice showed it so.

"Xypher was with you was he not?"

Xypher. Damn him. He knew the truth. He knew everything because he was part of it. But Xypher is gone now so she can't have all the truth…But Itachi, he knows it all. But it was hard to speak to that particular Angel. And…Xypher's mother possibly know and so does her brothers…but they are either in trial or already locked up.

"He faded…" Was Temari's reply.

"Amar was the name given to him." Temari said after a minutes of silence.

"You were the one who gave him that name, people born back then with his status have no names."

"…Amar…Amar...Moon? It's also Love. And…Amar…Amaranthine…Forever…Immortality…"

"Astrid?"

She was gone…

Temari closed her eyes. To name him Amar…Moon, Love, Forever or Immortality…

Hidden meanings…

She no longer wishes to call him Amar. She would continue to call him Shikamaru, even if she was now sure he was the man before, and from what she over head from Xypher and Shiakamru's conversation…it's almost impossible for a soul to come back again unless one of them did it, the Gods? But why so? Because they didn't expect him to choose death? Because they truly couldn't tell why the two Angels…who had fallen…had chose…

"History will repeat itself even if one is aware of how history was very awful..," Temari whispered, as she moved into the circling water where Shikamaru was within. "You will no longer hear the cries and see the deathly faces…I will no longer let it haunt you." She raked her hand through his hair.

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Read the Author Notes because I will explain!!!!

I don't like how I ended it. Argh, awful.

Uhm, sort of confusing isn't it?

And Yeah, I am not making up the meaning.

Amar does mean Moon in Arabic.

It means Love in Spanish.

Amar also means eternal. I don't know which language…

And I used Amaranthine…Because in this story, Temari's also means to call Shikamaru that…

Amaranthine means eternally beautiful, unfading, everlasting…so in this story she shortens it, to have more meanings into it, a secret only to her. And I am explaining it to you readers because I have heard your concerns of how hard it is to follow the story line of it. And yes, this is what we get for going on about the past, present and future.

If you are confused, I will do a summary

Temari awakens to be ordered to kill Shikamaru, but then, the plan had changed because they are in search for the Lost God which others had mentioned Shikamaru knows. Along with that, they captured Shikamaru because in the past, he had a history with the Goddess, which all the Gods and what not disapproved of because it's ill fitting and it messed with the 'plan' (don't ask about it) so in the present they wished for Temari to gain information and then kill him. Though Xypher and (supposedly) Itachi, the fallen Angels concocted a plan (Cursed Fallen Angels…Match makers?) they did years ago, Itachi had hidden some memories and left some to remember. (that could be explain later to why he'd done so) and Xypher, is the next move, He made the move to help them find their memories again. (why? It would be explain later) and now…well…yeah, Xypher is gone…and his wife Astrid mentioned the name…how Temari had given it.

Itachi said

"The Goddess chose Amar"

He was saying Temari chose to love, rather than follow the rules.

And Xypher already made a comment about Eternity, which leads to Amar again.

Temari, we all know has a fan, in English dubbed, she calls the circles "moons" so there are three moons. I made it so, she is linked with moons. In this story, she had asked Xypher directly what day it was in the flash back of his memories 'Shikamaru' died.

Instead of saying what day, Xypher replied the "Third Moon"

If you go by order…three moons would represent, Past, Present, Future.

Because present means you're still alive, (haha right? lol) in the future, Xypher speaks of it as the near end, death. But Temari, named Shikamaru back then, Amar. Eternity, everlasting…which hints…well damn it, I don't need to spell it for you.

"The Changes of Winds
Thy longing, thy thirst, cold heart
The giver for she never received him
Hot Sands, piercing heat, red as rose
By hands, not wings, destroyed
Dreams gone, dreams dies
Shadow lurks by death of many
Winds hides that stench of death
Shadow will never rest, never dies
Winds soothes, Wind is thy lover"

It is safe to say…you guys could truly decipher the meaning now right?
I mean…there's this one reviewer and I absolutely loved what they said…XD they were getting it on, yeah, quite honestly, when I write I sometimes create different meanings to it, intentionally; though I'm not sure if I had done it successfully.

Anyways sorry for the long Author's Note, I am sorry for the very long wait. Though I hope you enjoyed this read. Also, it is safe to say, the progression of their relationship would be more apparent for the next chapters. (Yes, I noticed. Not enough ShikaTema moments? I will give you some.)

Ps. I tried to update each story now. I updated my story Prince Charming, and now Believe, and I am now fixing some stuff in Challenge, because I don't like what I wrote. I am moving on to stubbornly engaged after.

Oh could you guys help me? I want to erase my other stories that I haven't updated in awhile and feel need readjustment. I am not sure how to take it down though…x.x; I know, many years in fanfiction and yet I do not know such simplicity? Well forgive me xD I am a mere mortal girl trying to share my imagination with people that wants to be a part and or enjoys it.

Thank you for reading,

With great sincerity and love,

Anne

I thank you for the support and apologize again for the delay and the size of my author's note.